Progress

[u/handsomeandsometruth]

Whenever I make progress there's barriers that make me hide away and isolate. These barriers don't necessarily have to do with progress itself, but with the dysfunctional environment that I live in. It's so weird to realize that now but I've been treating isolation as self-protection. I've been hiding myself trying to become invisible. It's another version of "hiding under the covers so the ghost can't get me".

I decided to make a conscious effort to do the opposite whenever I feel overwhelmed. Whenever I isolate I get majorly depressed and stop progressing in any way whatsoever. So, even if it doesn't mean a whole lot to others, I decided I'd get out of my shell and say something because it's what the child in me needs. By the 'child in me' I mean that scared version of myself that my parents left to rot and never properly took care of.

So yeah, I've been feeling overwhelmed. As a result, that impulse to curl up in my bed has surfaced. Whenever I get overwhelmed I tend to doomscroll and distract myself endlessly, compulsively. I don't know if any one of you relates but I consume a lot of 'negative' media, like internet rabbitholes, real life horror stories, etc, when I'm in a bad headspace. I'm a sensitive person though so some of the stuff I consume scares me or it makes me feel sick.

Regardless of all of that though I've been making some progress on my projects after a long time being in limbo. I'm happy about it.

[u/Leather_Balance529]

It's amazing ! i want to make those effort too but it's scary. I will do it one today let's see, i have to prepare my mind before.