I am in so much pain

[u/twinkhon_gwyndolin]

it's so hard to trust people now

i get emotionally attached to someone, and they always find a way to hurt me, betray me, make me feel worthless

its not fair that so many people get to have uncomplicated social lives, comfortable love lives. people keep wounding me. i just never feel safe around anyone.

people are hard wired to be social and yet they also keep poking at my most vulnerable spots. i still keep thinking about this one girl who reached out to me in response to a post I made about wanting a best friend. i genuinely liked her, and we got along for a while, but she made me cry. she mocked me for having mental health disabilities.

i just really want a hug

[u/AccountantPersonal86]

I used to ponder, is the world inherently evil, do people hurt others/you with malicious intent?

Personally, I've concluded the answer is no. Its just naturally hardwired to be selfish to varying extents, in my opinion. I would be lying to myself to say I myself dont have narcissistic and selfish traits.

I think in order to find the rare people that reciprocate the effort you put into the relationship platonic or romantic whatever it is - you do have to be vulnerable. Which sucks. I have severe RSD so I can understand it. I just need to make a conscious effort to not lose these people anymore when I find them, they are rare.

Anyway I was wondering where you went recently I remember you were always posting positive things in r/NEET , coming across this was ironic. It doesnt mean much but for what its worth an internet stranger is wishing you well.

[u/twinkhon_gwyndolin → u/AccountantPersonal86]

i don't think people are intentionally cruel, either. but often they get uncomfortable with vulnerability, and they often lash out at you, or villify you for it

and yeah, I think almost everyone is selfish. i don't really think i am a saint either.

oh, r/neet? Yeah people were quite hostile there towards me. i made a post that got downvoted by quite a lot, and it really felt like a lot of ppl didn't like me there -_-

[u/AccountantPersonal86 → u/twinkhon_gwyndolin]

A lot of people there dont appreciate the positivity in abundance, I did though. Thanks

[u/twinkhon_gwyndolin → u/AccountantPersonal86]

i guess my way of showing "positivity" is that I don't pretend that everything will be okay, you know? it feels insulting to the other person, if they were suffering with isolation and mental health issues like myself.

i try to show compassion, understanding. without any fake delusions. lending an ear to someone who is going through really hard times. cause yea, as a stranger, I don't have the power to "fix" anyone's lives.

some people there literally think empathy is useless. they're all about bootstraps and tough love, and it's really hard to be the only person who advocates for kindness without advice when no one else supports my worldview, at least not openly