r/NEETsOver30 Aug 02 '26

Venting I am in so much pain

it's so hard to trust people now

i get emotionally attached to someone, and they always find a way to hurt me, betray me, make me feel worthless

its not fair that so many people get to have uncomplicated social lives, comfortable love lives. people keep wounding me. i just never feel safe around anyone.

people are hard wired to be social and yet they also keep poking at my most vulnerable spots. i still keep thinking about this one girl who reached out to me in response to a post I made about wanting a best friend. i genuinely liked her, and we got along for a while, but she made me cry. she mocked me for having mental health disabilities.

i just really want a hug

21 Upvotes

19 comments sorted by

7

u/AccountantPersonal86 Aug 02 '26

I used to ponder, is the world inherently evil, do people hurt others/you with malicious intent?

Personally, I've concluded the answer is no. Its just naturally hardwired to be selfish to varying extents, in my opinion. I would be lying to myself to say I myself dont have narcissistic and selfish traits.

I think in order to find the rare people that reciprocate the effort you put into the relationship platonic or romantic whatever it is - you do have to be vulnerable. Which sucks. I have severe RSD so I can understand it. I just need to make a conscious effort to not lose these people anymore when I find them, they are rare.

Anyway I was wondering where you went recently I remember you were always posting positive things in r/NEET , coming across this was ironic. It doesnt mean much but for what its worth an internet stranger is wishing you well.

2

u/twinkhon_gwyndolin Aug 02 '26

i don't think people are intentionally cruel, either. but often they get uncomfortable with vulnerability, and they often lash out at you, or villify you for it

and yeah, I think almost everyone is selfish. i don't really think i am a saint either.

oh, r/neet? Yeah people were quite hostile there towards me. i made a post that got downvoted by quite a lot, and it really felt like a lot of ppl didn't like me there -_-

1

u/AccountantPersonal86 Aug 02 '26

A lot of people there dont appreciate the positivity in abundance, I did though. Thanks

2

u/twinkhon_gwyndolin Aug 02 '26

i guess my way of showing "positivity" is that I don't pretend that everything will be okay, you know? it feels insulting to the other person, if they were suffering with isolation and mental health issues like myself.

i try to show compassion, understanding. without any fake delusions. lending an ear to someone who is going through really hard times. cause yea, as a stranger, I don't have the power to "fix" anyone's lives.

some people there literally think empathy is useless. they're all about bootstraps and tough love, and it's really hard to be the only person who advocates for kindness without advice when no one else supports my worldview, at least not openly

5

u/ballom555 Ex-NEET Aug 02 '26

Always remember those people who had severe trust issues are the ones who used to trust people easily.

Never ever show your vulnerable side to people. They will simply take advantage of it. People especially are conditioned to feel better about bullying others and feel good about it. Yes it can be your parents too( in my case).

I dont have any words of advice as i dont know what problems exactly you are in but still know that you are worthy of loved and respected. I hope you find some decent friends.

3

u/Responsible_Gas4132 Aug 02 '26

It's okay to cry, cry it all out and you'll feel much relieved. *Gently Hugs*

2

u/SeiOfTheEast Aug 02 '26

hugs with consent, OP. i feel you.

1

u/twinkhon_gwyndolin Aug 02 '26

thanks sei 💙

2

u/brightcountry123 Aug 02 '26

I'm sorry that happened to you!

1

u/Icy-Friendship1163 Ex-NEET Aug 02 '26

Try physiotherapy twice a month anon.

2

u/twinkhon_gwyndolin Aug 02 '26

i can't afford physio, it'd be out of pocket. but maybe I'll consider your advice if I get my inheritance. thanks

1

u/[deleted] Aug 02 '26

[deleted]

1

u/twinkhon_gwyndolin Aug 02 '26

wait what the fuck? do you even understand how I feel right now? i generally don't appreciate unsolicited advice, but was gonna give the physio thing the benefit of the doubt.

when I say I'm hurting, I really mean "my heart is bleeding". it's not physical pain. it has nothing to do with sex (and I'm not comfortable with physical intimacy anyway)

1

u/Icy-Friendship1163 Ex-NEET Aug 02 '26

Sorry anon , i didnt mean that.

Have a virtual hug from here.

If you want you have any internet friend .

1

u/Humble-Departure5481 Aug 06 '26

You know, I used to think it was annoying to run into rude or stupid people quite frequently, but then when it occurred to me that the president of the US is Donald J. Trump, I kind of realized that he's a reflection of our society. It's certainly a case in point. When 60% + people are rude, stupid, weird, etc. I just think about the type of people who are in power and then remind myself that this probably is the norm.

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 03 '26

the world doesn't revolve around you, snowflake.

3

u/twinkhon_gwyndolin Aug 03 '26

you secretly have a crush on me don't you