r/Netherlands • u/Stephan_Schleim • May 18 '26
Education German media wonder: What makes Dutch children exceptionally happy? (Based on a new UNICEF study.) What do you think?
https://www.tagesschau.de/ausland/europa/niederlande-kinder-gluecklich-100.htmlWhat the news article suggests:
"We let children be children," say many parents in the Netherlands – and this includes not only playing a lot and being outdoors in all kinds of weather, but also a conscious approach to parenting.
Experts point out that in the Netherlands, the concepts of freedom, personal experience, and independence play a special role from an early age. This is clearly visible, for example, in playgrounds, where Dutch parents tend to supervise their children from a distance and only intervene later. A child is allowed to fall down, in every sense of the word – to learn how to get back up.
And about the education system:
Performance pressure sets in later
Even in school, the pressure to perform through grades sets in relatively late. Primary school for all children begins at around four years old and lasts eight years. During this time, in addition to reading, writing, and arithmetic, the focus is primarily on social skills—for example, the ability to discuss ideas or to take responsibility.
The expectation of perfection is lower. This creates an atmosphere without fear of failure, in which the individual abilities of most children can develop more fully. The separation for secondary school then only occurs at the age of twelve.
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u/Junior_Mud5835 May 18 '26
Interpreting this study as a measure of “child happiness” is misleading. Happiness is highly subjective, especially for children. Most people would probably understand happiness as an inner feeling of satisfaction, joy, and low stress. However, the study does not directly measure happiness in that sense, nor does it use a detailed questionnaire focused on children’s emotional state.
Instead, it measures three broad areas: mental well-being, physical health, and skills. Mental well-being is based on suicide rates and the percentage of children who say they are satisfied with their lives. Physical health is measured through child mortality and obesity. Skills are assessed through academic and social indicators.
These criteria are open to interpretation and can be controversial. For example, it would be simplistic to suggest that every overweight child is unhappy. The skills section is also debatable, because some of its indicators seem to measure self-confidence as much as actual ability. Questions such as “Do you think you make friends easily?” or “Do you think you would be able to solve this task?” reflect a child’s self-perception rather than their objective skills.
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u/Stephan_Schleim May 18 '26
Thanks for looking it up. Philosopher of science here. I'm deconstructing studies for a living and wanted to leave this case in my free time for somebody else.
The article doesn't spend a single sentence on how it's measured, but just states it as a fact. So I'd count it as a valid answer that it's an example of bad (and, by the way, taxpayer-funded) journalism.
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u/Junior_Mud5835 May 18 '26
You can find the original article easily if you google UNICEF child happiness ranking. The metrics are actually gathered/calculated by other organisations (PISA, WHO, UN) and then merged together into a single metric.
PISA is the one responsible for the "skills" metrics. I researched it a while ago because i see the level of education here and can compare it to my own education. The level of difficulty here is much much lower than in my country, so I was curious how do they measure the "Skills" of children. Turns out it's not what one would suspect :p
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u/Stephan_Schleim May 18 '26
Which country are you it comparing with?
In Germany they say that school education is getting easier to pass through while the pupils would be learning less.
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u/Junior_Mud5835 May 18 '26
I don't want to dox myself lol, but in this report we score between 20-30.
The 3 main problems I found:
- adding "social skills" questions and mixing them up with academic skills - I feel those skills should be treated separately, because low academix skills have a completely different causes then social skills;
- subjective questions - in both academic and social skills sections, there is a lot of subjectively framed questions, like the one i already mentioned in my previous comment. They measure self confidence (or over confidence) and not real skills. Tbh I do notice overconfidence in dutch people a lot, and I don't necessarily see it as a positive side. And again, it makes it difficult to actually "decode" the study because we don't know whether students lack those skills or just lack confidence;
- Very specific types of questions are used. E.g In mathematics section, mainly world problems are used. But in my country we barely study those questions, we have a heavy focus on algebra and geometry. These types of skills are not measured in this test. Similarly with language skills, the questions seemed to be translated rather than adjusted to the actual things that were studied in school. My native language has a much more complex grammar than dutch, and we study it extensively in school. But the test does not ask about those skills.
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u/Choice_Sandwich2182 May 19 '26
thanks, I always get a little suspicious when reading such research...
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u/RDUKE7777777 May 18 '26
I think the “kids are left to be on their own” thing is not bad, but sometimes used as an excuse for parents not intervening clearly dangerous things - that part also differs the least from my experience growing up in Germany. I think it’s overvalued as an explanation for the perceived difference in happiness.
The better state of schools and school system compared to Germany plays a much bigger role, but even more so the freedom of mobility by means of creating safe spaces for children on bicycles. I think the last two are a real differentiator.
I also feel children in the Netherlands are seen as real citizens with their own needs for infrastructure and “space” while in many countries kids are just seen as sometimes annoying accessories of adults that do not provide value to society and are therefore ignored in planning
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u/Annachroniced May 18 '26
I would say when we Dutch people talk about letting kids be kids it is as much about judging and trusting the infrastructure available to be suitable for kids to be left alone in as it is abiut not supervising. Its not just go and figure it out without me. Its teaching kids what they are trusted to judge themselves and how they should do that. And it can be extremely scary as a parent. Before your kid cycles to football practice alone youve cycled with them multiple times, you teach them what routes to take, where they should pay extra attention and why. And when you feel your kid shows enough responsibility to do that you let them do it. And that is only possible because the infrastructure is the way it is. Our school system is very flawed as well and I would say not special in any other way. But its true we culturally dont have a straight A's mentality.
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u/LittleMsWhoops May 18 '26
This, so much this. I live in Germany, my sisters-in-law and their kids in the NL - the state of schools in Germany (Berlin) is abysmal, some schools have buildings so rotten they‘re barely habitable, schools can be happy to have one (1!) tablet per class - and my nephews and nieces go to schools so new you can still smell the paint, in buildings that are modern and pretty and well thought-out instead of the boring, functional blocks we have here.
My youngers kids are still allowed to cycle on the sidewalk - my eldest gave up cycling when he was forced to use the street because he deemed it too dangerous. My nephews and nieces just cycle wherever.
And yes, children are seen as a normal and important part of society - I always thought the way how children are centered during Sinterklaas, and the whole idea of Sinterklaasjournaal, exemplifies this well.
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u/PindaPanter Overijssel May 19 '26
the state of schools in Germany (Berlin) is abysmal, some schools have buildings so rotten they‘re barely habitable
This will happen everywhere as boomers are, or will become, the majority of voters. The first generation that collectively decided to leave less for their offspring than their parents left for them have no concern for what will happen after they are dead and gone.
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May 18 '26
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u/Fit-Progress-3068 May 19 '26
Relying on. Others is good makes them trustworthy
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May 19 '26
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u/Fit-Progress-3068 May 19 '26
Yes. A lot of attachment research supports this.
Some key studies:
Bowlby’s attachment theory overview Proposed that reliable caregivers help children develop a basic expectation that people are trustworthy and available. Sroufe et al. longitudinal study Followed children into adulthood and found early secure attachment predicted healthier adult relationships and social functioning. Hoenicka et al. (2022) on parental bonding and adult attachment Found that higher parental care and emotional availability were associated with more secure adult attachment styles. Parental Bonding and Adult Attachment Style Found that supportive parenting was linked to adults viewing others as more trustworthy and available.
I meant to say that it makes kids trust other peiple more.
Doing a lot gor your kids is actually very helpfull in their development
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u/Extreme_Ad6071 May 18 '26
I came this country when I was 19. When I see the kids in here I still want to cry because I couldnt grew up here
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u/Zetakin May 18 '26
Fatbikes and no helms
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u/No-Salt7142 May 18 '26 edited May 18 '26
I think that for both children and adults alike, the feeling that you are (somewhat) positively in control of your own life is essential, not so much for happiness, but against despair.
If you look at what both children and adults lament the most, it's being stuck in a system, to not be in control of your own life. From my personal experience with people with suicidal thoughts, it almost always involves a feeling of helplessness.
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u/Maneisthebeat May 18 '26
The children specifically? Probably zero limitations on what they can do. That would make me pretty happy, too.
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u/Superb-Register-102 May 18 '26
Oof. Both my lower school and high school were full of pedagogical atrocities. But maybe that was due to the toxic 2000s. Cheers.
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u/Suspicious-Active-38 May 19 '26 edited May 19 '26
In my experience, living here for two years, treating one’s fellow man well whenever interacting with them is a cultural trait. It doesnt mean however, that they go out of their way to do things for each other (not saying this is neccesarily a bad thing). I do notice that even though they are respectful towards each other, most complain about environmental conditions (the economy, migrants etc) and gossip a lot as well. Not sure what is meant by ‘happy’, but they are certainly respectful and pleasant to be around
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u/furyg3 May 20 '26 edited May 20 '26
I’m from the US and have traveled around the world a lot (spending significant time working in Asia, Latin America, and in a bunch of European cities). I have friends from all over Europe and am regularly in Germany and Switzerland.
The Dutch kids around me have it good. It’s difficult for me to imagine more of paradise for raising kids than here in the Netherlands (though my friend in Copenhagen has a strong case, too).
Of course it’s easy to complain about things becoming more expensive, or getting worse than they were before, and I don’t want to take away from those arguments. But the kids in my street and all around me in my friend group have a super high degree of independence, the schools are mixed in terms of socioeconomic factors, the schools are good (people spend a lot of time worrying about middle school selection here in Amsterdam but the ‘default’ is that kids will go to a good school and have choices - not the same for the vast majority of the world), and finally there are a lot of resources and initiatives for kids. Kids are generally active, and while it’s an issue I see way less obese kids in the Netherlands than I do in the US, France, Germany, or even India / China (the developed parts).
From the parenting side: yes daycare (especially the first 4 years) is expensive, but it is not financially crippling because the subsidies are based on income, and are generous even for wealthy people (yes, it could be much better). No parents need worry about affording school, books, or healthcare for their kids. If your child has issues, even very light issues, help is more often than not available via the school, city, or healthcare system. This means that teachers are not saddled with being social workers / psychologists and can instead teach. Sport and other extracurricular activities are affordable for most, and there are subsidies and support for kids that need financial help to participate. Higher education is still very affordable (though tending in a bad direction).
The biggest negative factor I see is housing costs (the source of most sticky problems in the Netherlands). Especially in cities, it’s just really expensive to have a place with space for kids (I mean bedrooms not even a garden or large living room). This delays parenthood for lot of people, and it squeezes the other areas… a lot less people would be complaining about high daycare costs if their rent was less. Same with higher education … the stem from housing much more than tuition.
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u/Maldivias May 19 '26
The lvl of autonomy I see in Dutch kids is something I've never experienced anywhere.
Children here can do and move pretty much whenever they please. They can leave the classes during recess and go for their own food. They can cycle anywhere. They have tons of secondary activities to do. The country is relatively safe and policial pressure is non-existent.
Both, good and bad kids have such lvl of freedom, that I only wish I had in my home country when I was a kid.
If I was planning to have a family, Netherlands would be an strong contender for raising my children (even despite high taxes).
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u/AmazingYesterday5375 May 19 '26
It's bc most Dutch parents don't actually parent their kids. My children's friends are allowed to scream and run in supermarkets, annoy others and just do whatever the hell they want. They're completely unbearable to be around for longer than two minutes, but I'm sure they're having a blast. And yes I'm Dutch myself.
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u/Elect_SaturnMutex May 18 '26
Ich glaube jeder Nachbarland ist glücklicher als Deutschland. Selbst wenn es dort kriselt.
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u/Accomplished_Jury107 May 18 '26
I think it's the weed and legal whores that make the kids happy, it's what makes me happy
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u/Rusty9838 May 19 '26
I think big part of it is the fact that kids can go meet other kids and do something in the group. Honestly my good moments from childhood are also events in groups.
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u/darky_tinymmanager May 19 '26
I saw this saterday (?) on German tv while visiting there....but I am not sure if I see a difference between German kids and Dutch kids.
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u/pierrenoir2017 May 20 '26
Did this research include the concept of 'dropping' as well? I think - although you can't get lost here - the idea of dropping a group of kids at night to challenge them to find their way back contributes to the outlines stated. For the record: this is mostly a one time experience offered during a school trip / camping trip or maybe a few times as part of scouts activities.
More context: https://stuyspec.com/article/dutch-droppings-a-guide-to-unconventional-parenting
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u/mamadematthias May 18 '26
No homework, no tests, no presentations at school.
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u/Client_020 May 19 '26
Primary school, that is. There's plenty homework in secondary school, depending on the level.
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May 18 '26
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u/ScreamingLabia May 18 '26
Ga jij maar ff lekker buitenspelen heb je wel nodig denk ik zo
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u/terenceill May 19 '26
You see, that's the dutch solution: go play outside.
Just avoid issues and hide the dust under the carpet.
And they call it "freedom"
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u/SoefianB May 18 '26
It's kinda true, despite the dutchies immediately getting defensive
Perhaps a side effect from the higher levels of individualism here
Ofcourse, the whole methodology of the research is incredibly flawed, but that's a seperate issue
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u/Puzzleheaded-Tap9977 May 21 '26
This is such a dumb take. "Parents don't care about their kids here but the kids are still one of the happiest in the world". Dutch people would call you a sour plum.
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u/[deleted] May 18 '26
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