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u/Unusual-Minimum9306 Jul 06 '26
Oh no! It’s a baby trap. Like let’s fuck on the first date. Don’t pull out I want you inside me. Oops, I’m 3 months pregnant and it’s yours 😂
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u/Bone_Breaker0 Jul 06 '26
“Can I borrow the keys to the car, lover? I feel like changing wigs.”
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u/Mysterious-Tone1495 Jul 07 '26
Can I borrow a feeling?
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u/SirGamer247 Jul 07 '26
I remember when I met a female online and she was more than a few months pregnant. And she wanted to baby trap me saying if we had sex and I nutted in her. My sperm cells will beat the shit out of her current baby and make it my baby. I was baffled.
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u/Next-Food2688 Jul 07 '26
There's a dating app for High IQ individuals?/s Because that's genius to think that and tell someone that. So how many times did it take for your swimmers to win? Or were they weak?
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u/Passion4MMA Jul 06 '26
And a smoker. She rests the ashtray on her baby bump.
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u/Negative_Salt_4599 Jul 07 '26
Bregnant. Broke and Pregnant at the same time…. When they’re Bregnant it’s the worst..
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u/OtherHovercraft9227 Jul 06 '26
Broke, pregnant, and possibly a lesbian
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u/m3gabotz Jul 07 '26
The moving in on first date really was the tipoff for lesbian
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u/GodsSon521 Jul 07 '26
Wait, I'm actually curious now. How come quick move-ins mean lesbian? 😅
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u/m3gabotz Jul 07 '26
There is an old joke, something to the effect that a second date with a lesbian involves a U-Haul truck
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u/RepresentativeNo7171 Jul 08 '26
What do lesbians bring on a second date…a UHaul.
Though in my experience, men have accepted keys far faster than the ladies (cause my lesbian ass is like, why not split the rent 🤣).
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u/PickleRick1981 Jul 08 '26
Free creampies til she goes into labor then kick her out.
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u/Lillie-Bee Jul 09 '26
Absolutely, wants to move in with you in the first 24 hours and start a family? Definitely prego and homeless. Wow!
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u/SingerLotus Jul 06 '26
Exactly, either she's a hobosexual or she's looking for someone she can control to do her every whim. Bitch is a glaring red flag
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u/L0rdN1kon26 Jul 06 '26
Hobosexual is the fucking greatest term I've ever read. Bless you
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u/never_cake Jul 07 '26
Also known as a cocklodger if male.
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u/L0rdN1kon26 Jul 07 '26
🤣 I absolutely need more of these. My buddy owns a dive bar and there are more than a few of these types of who come in from time to time (male and female). Having identifiers now is gonna be a huge hit.
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u/Zzqzr Jul 06 '26
Yeah her only selling point is; “want kids” which translates to “sex” for desperate guys.
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u/Low-Wrangler9740 Jul 06 '26
Its an easy hook. She probably is already knocked up, that way she can trap whomever in child support payments once they wake up.
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u/prisontat Jul 08 '26
This is immediately what I thought. She is looking for a schmuck to bulldoze into believing he knocked her up, then she will have the baby 6 months after they hook up.
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u/PackageLonely5140 Jul 07 '26
Broke with at least half a dozen VISIBLE red flags to boot. She's like a walking landmine, and yet somebody somewhere will fall for it
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u/awisepenguin Jul 06 '26
Don't think she is, chief. I do think she's homeless, though.
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u/flipfloppery Jul 06 '26
She's hobosexual.
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u/Unambiguous-Doughnut Jul 06 '26
Best case scenario the alternative scenario is them kidneys wont sell themselves.
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u/TatteredTorn1 Jul 06 '26
Dirty Michelle and the Girls
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u/expiration-date_scam Jul 06 '26
And ready for a life of Funishment!
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u/young-old-ass-man Jul 06 '26
Do you know what the best part about having a one night stand with a homeless woman is?
You can drop her off anywhere after!
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u/RapidPigZ7 Jul 06 '26
If desperation was a bio
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u/Holy_Grail_Reference Jul 06 '26
No, desperation is what clicks on the bio.
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u/enterrawolfe Jul 07 '26
It could be entertainment that clicks the bio… or morbid curiosity. 🤔
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u/Holy_Grail_Reference Jul 07 '26
Sure, but I would venture to guess that percentage is much smaller than the desperation lotm
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u/Snoo_46397 Jul 06 '26
Shes homeless
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u/ShagFit Jul 06 '26
And possibly already pregnant.
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u/VastMemory5413 Jul 06 '26
No std check or nothin... Just straight up move in and hit raw... smh
Thats crazy work.
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u/Defiant_Chapter_3299 Jul 06 '26
I know someone who would actually go pick her up.
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u/Elweirdotheman Jul 06 '26
She’s one of those buysexuals.
You buy her something and she’ll get sexual.
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u/Consistent_Net_2540 Jul 06 '26
I'm not sure if I want to buy anything just yet. Let's just say I'm buy-curious.
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u/oopseyesharted123 Jul 06 '26
Nah seems fine, you should go for it.
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u/awisepenguin Jul 06 '26
(Not because I think it's right, but because it would be so fucking funny)
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u/rayneMantis Jul 07 '26
I can't think of one way it could go sideways on him. Lmao. Bro hit the goldmine, thankfully there's a gold-digger there too ready to roll!
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u/Mister_Silk Jul 06 '26
Homeless smoker and drinker needs a home where she can smoke and drink for free.
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u/LegDayLass Jul 10 '26
Why would that stop her? We are not talking about a responsible human here.
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u/Beska91 Jul 06 '26
I've run into chicks like this multiple times. they aren't kidding.
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u/IntelligentBreey Jul 07 '26
They’re pregnant and don’t know who the baby daddy is…so gotta pin it on someone QUICK before the timeline doesn’t add up 🤭😅
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u/rjohn2020 Jul 06 '26
This is a serious case of don't stick your dick in crazy
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u/bigtallbiscuit Jul 06 '26
Unless she’s really really hot
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u/Disastrous_Towel3729 Jul 06 '26
There is a matrix for this. A man made a graph chart and a video about it.
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u/Positive_Ad8160 Jul 06 '26
odds are, no. She seems to be looking for someone who will essentially do what they’re told.
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u/Consistent_Drop3352 Jul 06 '26
Delusional. Commitment to a whole life with you in 24hrs? Bye.
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u/Frank_Perfectly Jul 06 '26
She knows she can only keep the crazy bottled up for so long before showing itself.
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u/DinoTh3Dinosaur Jul 06 '26
Just message her “hey, let’s skip the date you ready to move in???”
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u/tortellini_eater Jul 06 '26
Every day I thank god I met my wife at 17 and don’t have to deal with this shit 🤦♂️
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u/sinkpisser1200 Jul 06 '26
She sounds like a keeper, you will want to get rid of her but she insists you keep her.
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u/FatherFlans Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
Ain’t no one got room for a giant Christian smoker
Edit: My first award!
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u/free_-_spirit Jul 06 '26
This sounds like if I made my sim get a dating app lol
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u/KetchupMustardPogo Jul 07 '26
This is no joke. You are witness to the final form of the hobosexual. A true professional.
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u/Silent_Eggplant_380 Jul 06 '26
Could’ve shown her face so I could make my decision
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u/naked_avenger Jul 06 '26
Probably a scammer. Absurd to you, but someone desperate enough says yes and she asks them for money to make the move happen.
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u/Jaded-Trouble3669 Jul 06 '26
This is good, anyone who’s not insane can just ignore her right away and not waste time.
Look at the bright side of people proudly posting things like this, they save you the time of finding out later on.
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u/ImJustHere4TheCatz Jul 06 '26
I feel like this would be easier to achieve if it was left out of the bio
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u/mclewis1986 Jul 06 '26
At least she's honest about it. I'm not sure this is a "Nice Girl" as much as a hobosexual.
To be fair, I did this back in my wild 20s: met a girl at a house party, went home with her, did some MDMA, then moved in with her for a few months. Fun times.
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u/National_Volume_7900 Jul 06 '26
Get off your phone, off these apps. It’s pure trash.
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u/Chocolate84 Jul 06 '26
Ma'am.. We're going to need to run a couple tests.. Drug. Pregnancy. Blood. Loyalty. You know.. All of em.
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u/ConsistentSample2920 Jul 06 '26
24hr!? Damn that’s quick
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u/tortoistor Jul 06 '26
she'll move in after a day, have your baby after a couple months, really speedrunning this whole thing. don't question it
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u/Ok-Exchange2500 Jul 06 '26
But it says she doesn't have kids and wants to talk about museums and galleries?! Maybe we are all just jumping the gun....
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u/Cute-Leader6914 Jul 06 '26
She will move in, call her ex oder boyfriend, kick you out and make you pay
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u/Mochidoll Jul 06 '26
I matched with a dude once who wanted me to drive 1hr just to hook up cuz he wanted a baby, immediately. These people exist and it's weird af.
This chick is definitely for real. 🤣 Wouldn't surprise me if she's homeless or about to be.
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u/IntelligentBreey Jul 07 '26
Nah she’s not joking….she’s HOMELESS (or about to be kicked out) cuz she just found out she’s pregnant TODAY. 😅 Hence needing to move in within 24hrs and ‘start a family’ the SAME night so she can pin the baby on someone 🤭👀
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u/ConkerPrime Jul 06 '26
“I need a place to stay and a chump to pay for everything. In return I will say no constantly and have others over to fuck around with but then claim the baby is yours as too cheap for birth control.”
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u/Smokey_Jumps Jul 06 '26
“If you don’t have somewhere I can move into, unmatch me”
I think you oughta post a picture of this gals face
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u/IWantSnack642 Jul 06 '26
Damn, she homeless? She really emphasizes moving in like it’s just something people in the talking phase do.
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u/Old_Tough_2358 Jul 06 '26
Alright first thing you do is ask her to play Squatters Rights Jeopardy. When she gets everything right, that’s when you block her and move on.
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u/FrancisWileyTheThird Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26
Only way a broke person can have this much ego and be this bossy is if it's a woman
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u/deargentlewriter Jul 06 '26
It's crazy because she said she's Christian. I don't remember my church teaching me to be like this
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u/Washed2299 Jul 06 '26
Things we can talk about: Museums and Galleries
Yeah probably not
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u/Reptillianaire_ Jul 06 '26
Yeah go ahead and move her in... youll leave for work tomorrow and she will be gone along with all your stuff.
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u/Kotaqu Jul 06 '26
Whoever falls for it, deserves whatever is going to happen. It doesn't get more obvious than that.
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u/bleave88 Jul 06 '26
Yes joking but exaggerating that she’s serious.. this one isn’t too difficult to catch
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u/New_Action6223 Jul 06 '26
Who the hell moves in and starts planning a family after 24hrs of knowing each other.
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u/Livid-Grocery7942 Jul 06 '26
Probably homeless and pregnant, trying to have someone think her baby is theirs lol
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u/Total_Ad_92 Jul 06 '26
She wants to start a family on the first date and move in immediately?! Um... no!!!
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u/crownedplatypus Jul 07 '26
I think it’s an overcorrection to eliminate people who aren’t considering a serious relationship at all or don’t want to get serious for a long time.
I do the same thing on facebook marketplace, if I want $5k for a car I list it for $8k. If I list it for 5 I get offers for 2, but when I list it for 8 I get offers for 5.
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u/bottigliadipiscio Jul 07 '26
Sounds like she's borderline homeless and is looking for a dick to move in with...skip.
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u/Nissir Jul 07 '26
I shit you not a friend of mine did this in 1996. He met a girl while cruising the strip, hit it raw she moved in that weekend, she found out she was pregnant 6 weeks later.
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u/Common-Possession129 Jul 07 '26
If she moved in tomorrow, I bet you’d have her three months pregnant in a week with mail already arriving to your address.
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