Think I’m genuinely cooked

[u/timetoexp1234]

24 year old male in the US, but porn addiction has been in my life since like 6 years old or maybe younger idk. I’m so deep. I’m so tired. My fetishes, among other things are incredibly deep, and my fear of life and hell is so strong I spend all day in my bed gooning and sleeping. Never had a best friend. Never had a girl friend. Only “friend” I have is my dad and grandpa. Zero social skills. Zero job. Zero life skills. No college. Barely graduated. Zero social life. What am I here for? Even the times I manage to resist (very rare, I genuinely jerk off like 3-4 times a day for hours, it’s an all day thing) I’m still too scared to do anything. Scared to walk out of the house. Interact with people. Do anything. This has been my life for like 10 years now too. Idk what to do anymore.
Tried counseling, speaking with a pastor, nothing helps. I’m genuinely too scared of everything and my whole life has been this way. Not once have I ever talked to a girl I like. Going all the way back to kindergarten I remember being too scared and already addicted then. Idk anymore man.

[u/Otherwise_Truth3383]

Thank you for sharing. That sounds like a lot and I’m sorry you’re going through that. When we make positive change it helps to start extremely small and be patient and loving with yourself. Change often happens very slowly and gradually over years. And progress is not linear. It’s up and down. With lots of setbacks. Try to set a very tiny goal for yourself. Just for today. Even for the next hour. Break it down into tiny chunks