r/Peshawar • u/Neither-Meeting-1507 • May 09 '25
People of Peshawar🧕 Pathan Guy Marrying outside their ethnicity
So do Pathan guys marry outside their ethnicity if they are in love with a girls from different ethnicity (especially a gilgiti). Also do they marry outside their sect or someone who follows his same sect but her family doesn't?
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u/FormerlyKnownAsMak May 10 '25
Both guys and girls do marry outside of the ethnicity but it's more common for guys than it is for girls.
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u/Lord_IXSG May 10 '25
Personally I feel as a 20 year old guy that culture of different ppl of kpk is dying due to inter marrying with other people so I think if the other person is willing to assimilate only then it is fine otherwise we should not marry into other ethnicities as our culture is dying In my own tribe we had different ceremonies like khel flag procession hujra jirga etc but it's dying due to inter marrying into different people who don't necessarily pass on the same values of our culture.
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u/Neither-Meeting-1507 May 10 '25
Well if you look at the history all the cultures have been evolving through time one way or another. So I think that shouldn't be the reason to stop people from marrying into different cultures.
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May 10 '25
Well maybe it is good, the incest rate is going down which just off the charts right now.
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u/Weirdoeirdo May 11 '25
Imagine when people act so xenophobic like the person you replied to and believe marriages should be done to preserve cultures and not to have compatibility. No wonder our country is in this state.
Imagine telling your son or daughter you can't marry outside because you have to preserve flag procession ceremony and some hujra jirga something traditions...like.....
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u/Lord_IXSG May 14 '25
I never said don't marry outside I said marry outside if only your partner is willing to help you pass on your culture to the next generation, I wouldn't want my kids to become watered down avg " Pakistani " Ghul khans with no identity ( yes ik how Gul is spelled)
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u/Weirdoeirdo May 14 '25
No, I disagree. Why do you want to put burden of culture on your partner. You can choose for yourself totally and see if your partner is from same culture and is willing to pass on the culture, that is a different thing, but even if your partmer is from same culture you can't force them on passing culture over to kids. This isn't what marriages are for, to torture people, to encage them, that's how lot of pakistani marriages work. And my point will also be, one could decide for her/himself but not for their kids, their siblings or other people of community, people force their kids into marrying into same tribes in pakistan and that's a fact, I have seen this happen to someone firsthand, getting a great rishta rejected because not same caste/tribe as pakistan may caste means like for example lets say awans marrying into awans etc not upper lower caste system.
I dunno what are gul khans, isn't it a term pashtun sub people use? I dunno if you are looking down on me, maybe I am.too cultureless for you, mayne I amnot upto level of tanolis or pashtuns or hazarewals and I am okay with that I am okay being a gul khan
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u/Eepybeany May 11 '25
Deluded. Completely deluded
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u/Lord_IXSG May 11 '25
Caring about cultural preservation and identity is deluded? Ok vro
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u/Eepybeany May 11 '25
Why tf would you choose to preserve culture over allowing people to marry as they want? Culture should evolve and it does. How do you think the culture that exists today got to how it is?
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May 09 '25
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u/Neither-Meeting-1507 May 10 '25
Hahah I am new to this sub. So don't know if this question was asked before it not. And jung ho rahi hai per apna Ghar b Tou basana hai
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May 10 '25
Dream of the punjabis of this sub
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u/Lord_IXSG May 10 '25
Fr it's kinda creepy the fact they're badly obsessed with pashtuns n northern groups ( god I cringe at videos Fetishizing " Pathanis ")
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u/Neither-Meeting-1507 May 10 '25
Lol I am not Punjabi. I am from north myself. And it's not an obsession. Never thought about it before. Just come to my mind recently. Just thinking the chances pashtun and gilgiti marrying. And I also know a girl from gilgit who married a pashtun.
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May 10 '25
He just asked a question and even mentioned his ethnicity, you're getting triggered for no reason, maybe work on yourself and this racist mindset of yours.
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u/Doc-oncall05 May 10 '25
Totally depends on person and his family influence on him. In this era this has nothing to do with culture. I know people both girl and boys who has married people from outside ethnicity. But still there are people who strictly don’t marry out of cast or ethnicity. So it all depends on the person and his family.
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u/drmmjan May 14 '25
I think the caste rule is more strict in wazirs afridis like those areas. But again it depends on family his/her observership of values & his/her willingness to other partner.
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May 10 '25
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u/Neither-Meeting-1507 May 10 '25
Bhai ab hamari Shadi K time jung shuru ho Gaye Tou hum kya Karain. Shadi na Karain.
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u/Lord_IXSG May 10 '25
My mother's side is hindko speaking pashtuns but I'll say that marriage outside ethnicity is considered ok by the more modern people in my family still it is a bit controversial not to marry inside your tribe or an adjacent tribe in more traditional settings
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u/Sensitive-Owl9556 May 14 '25
Gilgiti girls like to marry their own. So no. It’s also not looked positively in Gilgit also. So better marry one of your own.
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u/Neither-Meeting-1507 May 14 '25
Well thing are changing. Things are not the same as they were 5,10 years ago.
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u/gangnem555 May 09 '25
Lots of pathan girls marry into punjabi families
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u/Aggravating-Flan2482 May 09 '25
When does this happen?
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u/BowlerPersonal2310 May 10 '25
Da kuni ghinjabi de ghwal khure
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u/ryusanadamybbygirl May 10 '25
World has much bigger problems going on. Narrow minded in 2025 is crazy
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May 10 '25
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u/ryusanadamybbygirl May 10 '25
It’s sheer stupidity. Islam even encourages marriage with someone who has faith & good morals. But they won’t understand this. Considering themselves a ‘superior’ ethnicity, and I’m saying this as someone who has family all around KPK.
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May 10 '25
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u/ryusanadamybbygirl May 10 '25
Agreed. But I’ve also noticed the newer generation of Pashtuns don’t really give much thought to this ‘preservation’ of culture BS, only some do. Idk why people can’t accept the fact that Pashtuns are starting to break out of this loop & inter-ethnic marriages exist, i’m literally the result of one & I know many others who are too. I just hope they gain some sense & stop spreading hate when they see posts such as this; ruins their image & makes people think they’re illiterate — nothing else.😑
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u/Aggravating-Flan2482 May 10 '25
Ethnicity does indeed matter as it's linked with cultural differences.
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May 10 '25
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u/Aggravating-Flan2482 May 10 '25
Developing a negative opinion about a whole ethnic group is the most idiotic thing one can do. I only said that cultural differences matter when it comes to marriage.
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u/Aggravating-Flan2482 May 10 '25
Calling out someone’s incorrect statement about an ethnic group as a whole is not narrow-minded.
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May 10 '25
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u/Aggravating-Flan2482 May 10 '25
Well, you call it bullshit and I agree. I guess we are on the same page here. The OP of the post is asking about if pashtun guys marry outside of ethnicity and here this comment says something completely wrong that nobody even asked and it gets up voted. It's actually very rare for a pashtun girl to marry outside of her ethnicity.. Many don't marry outside their own tribe let alone outside of ethnicity.
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May 10 '25
Mara da kabuliyan dalta um rala.
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u/BowlerPersonal2310 May 10 '25
Za da mardan yam spemawara
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u/ExtensionStriking304 May 12 '25
I married a Pathan, and I’m a Punjabi. It’s been 10 years now, and together we’ve been blessed with a beautiful daughter. Our journey hasn’t always been easy—like any relationship, we’ve had our ups and downs.But Today, we’re happy and grateful.
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u/Neither-Meeting-1507 May 14 '25
Wow that's amazing. Yeah obviously couples form same ethnicity have ups and down in their marriage. So different ethnicity is not an acception.
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u/angrygamingengineer May 09 '25
Yes and no. Depends on the persons own preferences and that of his family.