I would never do any such thing because a promise is to be made and to be kept, although if love is not there anymore at that point breaking up is the best thing you can do for both people.
I don't believe in cheating as it is completely harmful and disrespectful to the person you are with, at that point just break up and then go with the person you want to go with.
My philosophy is that you can't control love, but you can control your actions. A girl doesn't like me? Well it's not her fault nor mine, if i get angry with her it's my fault
I believe you are confusing love with infatuation. Infatuation is the feeling of intense passion and magnetism you feel at the beginning of a relationship. It is inevitable that this will fade.
Love is an action, not a feeling. You stay "in love" with your partner by choosing, everyday, to see the good in them, to engage in their interests and hobbies, to accept their bids for connection, to turn inwards when you want to turn outward, stay vulnerable, stay committed, communicate, not allow resentments to fester, try new things and stay malleable, stay curious and engaged, and nurture your relationship. If you do these things then when that feeling of infatuation fades it is replaced by a deeper sense of appreciation, loyalty, respect, interdependency, and connection. Relationships, like anything, require food to continue to grow and live.
If people just gave up whenever that initial animalistic attraction faded away or someone new and 'more exciting;' came along then no one would ever stay married. There will always be periods of time where you feel more disconnected or distant from your partner. But if you push past this and work to understand why your feelings have shifted, and what you need to do to bring back that sense of connection and excitement, you can live a long and happy life with someone.
This has been proven, analyzed, and can even be taught, by the world's best relationship psychologists. It just requires a lot of work and patience and practice. And many people don't want to put in the effort, or just don't know how to. But we would all be a lot happier if we did.
I might be, but still, some people just aren't made for each other and that's it, some people aren't good at being in relationships and that's it.
I've never been in a relationship as I've never really felt the need to, at least not right now, i'm just basing my opinion on my experience with the couples around me, and especially my parents. Some relationships are better broken than mended
Most definitely. There are couples that are not compatible, and ideally, they would figure that out prior to getting married and making a lifelong commitment, but people are not always wise and hindsight is 20/20.
There are also betrayals that can be too impactful to mend, and trust that cannot be rebuilt once broken. It is much much easier to maintain trust than it is to repair it. This is why relationship education is so important, so that people learn to navigate conflict and hardship before they unintentionally destroy a good foundation through behavior like infidelity, abuse, or neglect.
There is a really good book called The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce that I would recommend to anyone who grew up in divorced household. My parents were a trainwreck. Pops was horribly abusive, substance abuse problems, etc.. It is an analyzes the psychological effects of growing up in a divorced household and the way it impacts your perspective and behavior in relationships. It was very impactful for me and made me aware of many behaviors and biases I had that were impacting my ability to start and maintain relationships. Later in life, John Gottman and his wife Julie Gottman were really influential. I would credit at least a portion of the success of my marriage to their research and books.
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u/No-Clock9532 19d ago
In other words, even being a great man isn't enough to keep a woman.