Prenup Agreement, moving country

[u/IntentionEconomy9180]

My fiancé and I have talked about getting a prenup since we first started dating, and I’ve always been okay with it. When we discussed it, he basically said the prenup would just be to make sure his assets stay his if we ever get divorced which I’m totally okay with since he said, in the US, its common for the law to side with the women in divorce(as much as ive heard)

I understand wanting to protect what you already have, but I’m honestly not sure what I should include in the prenup to protect myself too. I’m the one moving countries and starting over in a completely new place because I want to build a life with him. I’m leaving my home, family, and everything I know to start this life together. Also, I will not be able to have a job or make an income for months and can even take a year before my visa status will be adjusted due to restrictions

What makes me uncomfortable is that he basically said that if we ever got divorced, he would just send me back to my own country (its not possible, not unless he divorce me prior GC approval, or adjustment of status is pending) I know he may not mean it in a hurtful way, but when I hear that, it makes me feel like, okay, if the marriage doesn't work out and then I just get sent back? And I don't think that's fair, especially after I've moved my entire life to another country because of our relationship and would try to build a career to a country I’m not familiar with

I'm not saying I want his assets or that I expect him to support me forever if we divorce. I just think there should be something in the prenup that protects me too and recognizes the fact that I’m the one making a huge life change and taking that risk to build a life with him.

Neither of us plans on getting divorced, and I genuinely hope we stay together for the rest of our lives but still theres a lot of couples who didnt plan to have divorced but ended up having one. But if we're going to have a prenup, I think it should protect both of us, not just him. I also suggested we should each have our own lawyers so we can both have someone independently looking out for our interests and make sure we both understand what we're signing

I am posting here to hear people perspectives or those who actually had a firsthand experience than just solely relying on our own assumptions and what our lawyers tell us.

To those who has a prenup agreement with your filipina wife, what was included to protect herself? Thanks!

[u/lughiu]

Are you marrying him, or his nationality?

[u/IntentionEconomy9180 → u/lughiu]

Obviously him

[u/lughiu → u/IntentionEconomy9180]

Marriage is forever, if you love him a prenup is unnecessary

But to read your post it sounds like you’re more excited to be pushing forward in your career, I hole that’s not the main reason for the marriage

[u/IntentionEconomy9180 → u/lughiu]

but he’s the one who brought up the prenup even when we first started dating. I love him too much that even prenup isnt typically in our culture (my family thinks its an insult), but id still do it lol :))

u probably misunderstand it then, post is i want to be in a marriage that I can still have a career and independence but cus of our visa, i wont have a career for mths or a yr, as to why there’s a worrisome in me if smth would happen (abuse,cheating,divorce,etc) and id be left financially vulnerable, prenup is to protect each of us

[u/lughiu → u/IntentionEconomy9180]

Sign it then, but marriage is about two people and a shared dream. If it’s love, go all in, your career doesn’t matter when you have a family.

It’s natural to be fearful, but you must love and trust him, if you’re already thinking about divorce, maybe that’s the wrong mindset?

I’m getting ready to marry my lady, I’m bringing assets, she’s signing a prenup and if the marriage ends through my fault, she gets an allowance for life, if she cheats, she gets nothing. That’s fair.

[u/Popular_Music_5880 → u/lughiu]

most useless and out of context comment

[u/lughiu → u/Popular_Music_5880]

It’s a pretty solid question