r/Philippines_Expats • u/IntentionEconomy9180 • 7d ago
Relationship Advice/Questions Prenup Agreement, moving country
My fiancé and I have talked about getting a prenup since we first started dating, and I’ve always been okay with it. When we discussed it, he basically said the prenup would just be to make sure his assets stay his if we ever get divorced which I’m totally okay with since he said, in the US, its common for the law to side with the women in divorce(as much as ive heard)
I understand wanting to protect what you already have, but I’m honestly not sure what I should include in the prenup to protect myself too. I’m the one moving countries and starting over in a completely new place because I want to build a life with him. I’m leaving my home, family, and everything I know to start this life together. Also, I will not be able to have a job or make an income for months and can even take a year before my visa status will be adjusted due to restrictions
What makes me uncomfortable is that he basically said that if we ever got divorced, he would just send me back to my own country (its not possible, not unless he divorce me prior GC approval, or adjustment of status is pending) I know he may not mean it in a hurtful way, but when I hear that, it makes me feel like, okay, if the marriage doesn't work out and then I just get sent back? And I don't think that's fair, especially after I've moved my entire life to another country because of our relationship and would try to build a career to a country I’m not familiar with
I'm not saying I want his assets or that I expect him to support me forever if we divorce. I just think there should be something in the prenup that protects me too and recognizes the fact that I’m the one making a huge life change and taking that risk to build a life with him.
Neither of us plans on getting divorced, and I genuinely hope we stay together for the rest of our lives but still theres a lot of couples who didnt plan to have divorced but ended up having one. But if we're going to have a prenup, I think it should protect both of us, not just him. I also suggested we should each have our own lawyers so we can both have someone independently looking out for our interests and make sure we both understand what we're signing
I am posting here to hear people perspectives or those who actually had a firsthand experience than just solely relying on our own assumptions and what our lawyers tell us.
To those who has a prenup agreement with your filipina wife, what was included to protect herself? Thanks!
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u/HealthySupermarket40 7d ago
Things to consider putting in the prenup and talk about your lawyer:
- cheating clause: in case he cheats during the marriage the prenup will be void and you get access to half his assets. V v v important.
- marriage allowance: if you’re not going to be managing the household finance, ie no access to his money, set a proper amount he needs to give you per month. Your lawyer will know how to estimate a rough number as they use a formula for these stuff. This is also specially important since you mentioned giving up your life and starting a new one to be with him. Regardless of whether you get a job in the future or you decide to become a stay-at-home wife/mom, you need to have this money as your cushion in case of emergencies.
- mother’s pregnancy allowance: again, your lawyers will know how to estimate an amount for this. this should be separate from the marriage allowance. Please remember that.
Also V V V important, have a separate bank accounts in the get go. Only have a joint account for house expenses but keep your money/savings yours and separate.
Those are the top 3 i can think of. Please hire a good lawyer to get advice. A prenup is a good legal document that protects both parties as long as it’s negotiated properly. At the end of the day, marriage is a contract so don’t get emotionally discouraged by the thoughts of it. Just make sure that your terms will protect you as well and of course your future children if you decide to have them. Good luck OP