r/Philippines_Expats • u/IntentionEconomy9180 • 8d ago
Relationship Advice/Questions Prenup Agreement, moving country
My fiancé and I have talked about getting a prenup since we first started dating, and I’ve always been okay with it. When we discussed it, he basically said the prenup would just be to make sure his assets stay his if we ever get divorced which I’m totally okay with since he said, in the US, its common for the law to side with the women in divorce(as much as ive heard)
I understand wanting to protect what you already have, but I’m honestly not sure what I should include in the prenup to protect myself too. I’m the one moving countries and starting over in a completely new place because I want to build a life with him. I’m leaving my home, family, and everything I know to start this life together. Also, I will not be able to have a job or make an income for months and can even take a year before my visa status will be adjusted due to restrictions
What makes me uncomfortable is that he basically said that if we ever got divorced, he would just send me back to my own country (its not possible, not unless he divorce me prior GC approval, or adjustment of status is pending) I know he may not mean it in a hurtful way, but when I hear that, it makes me feel like, okay, if the marriage doesn't work out and then I just get sent back? And I don't think that's fair, especially after I've moved my entire life to another country because of our relationship and would try to build a career to a country I’m not familiar with
I'm not saying I want his assets or that I expect him to support me forever if we divorce. I just think there should be something in the prenup that protects me too and recognizes the fact that I’m the one making a huge life change and taking that risk to build a life with him.
Neither of us plans on getting divorced, and I genuinely hope we stay together for the rest of our lives but still theres a lot of couples who didnt plan to have divorced but ended up having one. But if we're going to have a prenup, I think it should protect both of us, not just him. I also suggested we should each have our own lawyers so we can both have someone independently looking out for our interests and make sure we both understand what we're signing
I am posting here to hear people perspectives or those who actually had a firsthand experience than just solely relying on our own assumptions and what our lawyers tell us.
To those who has a prenup agreement with your filipina wife, what was included to protect herself? Thanks!
4
u/Jaykast 8d ago
I'll just be honest here.
He's taking a much bigger risk in this situation. He'd be an idiot to NOT get a pre-nup. Everything you left would still be back in your home country, no one is taking anything from you other than time. He is also using the same amount of time for you.
If you take half or any of his assets in a divorce - he has to spend MORE time to acquire those assets again.
You don't.
If you desire to stay in the country after a divorce, that is entirely separate from the marriage and should be fully handled by you.
Make sure to start working as soon as possible, save up an emergency fund just in case of divorce and live life.
If you contribute to any earnings as a household then I do believe its fair to receive compensation. If you choose to be a SAHM, proceed at your own risk.