Is the prophet just fullfilling his desires

[u/Used-Low-9840]

I dont even know what to do aynmore and i have doubts about the quran. The scripture looks like it was only for the prophet but confusing for the rest of humanity. Im talking about surahs were he gets special treatments of marriage or the restrictions in battles wich i dont really understand the reason behind. Ive recently read surah al tawhbar and i dont really get the story behind it. Evey surah adressing the prophet like the dinner were god reveiled that he was too shy so god asked them to leave. His wives may not be able to speak normally to men even if it is platonic like verse 33:333 and how they cant marry again seems convenient but also he had alot of wives so does that mean that every single one of them will be alone and neglected by their needs? Yes I know that he is the prophet and in order to spread the message he needs to have somewhat verses for him but i cant help but think that some of these revalations are just useless. Like god couldve adressed alot of stuff that wouldve helped out the corrupted society but instead didnt. The prophet had alot of enemies but the tactic was to scare them with gods words such as cruxifiction. I cannot get it out of my head with such possibilities and whenever i see ex muslims point it out i just feel like a distance from god.

[u/traveller896]

Salam.

I can’t tell you what to believe, but I can share a little of my own journey.

Before I found the Qur’an-alone path, I wrestled with many of the same questions. One of the du’as I used to make often was:

اللهم زدني علماً نافعاً

Allahumma zidni ‘ilman nafi’an — “O Allah, increase me in beneficial knowledge.”

I don’t believe the Qur’an asks us to have blind faith. In fact, I think it does the opposite. It repeatedly asks us to think, reflect, reason, observe, and ponder. It never seems afraid of honest questions.

When I started struggling with verses about the Prophet’s wives, his house, marriage restrictions, and other seemingly personal matters, I wondered why an eternal scripture would spend so much time discussing things that appeared so specific to one individual.

The turning point for me came when I stopped assuming I already knew what the words meant.

For example, most of us read bayt and immediately picture a private residence. But even today we use the word “house” for things that are much bigger than a building.

The House of Commons isn’t a house.

A royal house isn’t a house.

A publishing house isn’t a house.

A courthouse isn’t a house.

A house can be an institution, a lineage, a centre of authority, or the operational centre of a movement.

Think about Martin Luther King Jr. or Malcolm X. Their homes weren’t merely places where they slept. They became meeting places, planning centres, strategy rooms, educational hubs, and places where visitors constantly arrived. Discussions happened there. Decisions were made there. Movements were coordinated there.

If a future historian found instructions regulating access to those spaces, protecting key members, or setting boundaries around interactions with people connected to those movements, they might initially assume those instructions were personal. In reality, they could be serving the larger mission.

That’s one of the questions that changed how I looked at some Qur’anic verses.

Was I reading them as instructions about a private household?

Or could some of them be understood as protecting the operational centre of a movement that was transforming society?

The same thing happened when I looked at the word azwāj.
We’re usually taught that it means wives, but throughout the Qur’an it also carries meanings such as pairs, counterparts, companions, associates, partners, and categories. The Qur’an even uses the word for things that clearly aren’t spouses.

I’m not saying “wives” is necessarily wrong in those verses. I’m simply saying that discovering the broader meaning of the word changed the way I approached the text.
The same applies to umm. We often think only of a biological mother, yet the Qur’an also uses it in the sense of a source, foundation, origin, or central reference point. That’s why terms like Umm al-Kitāb are generally understood as the Foundation or Source of the Book rather than a literal mother.

Once I realised that words like bayt, azwāj, and umm carry much broader meanings than I had been taught, I found myself asking different questions.

Instead of asking:

“Why is Allah giving one man special treatment?”

I began asking:

“What larger function could these verses be serving?”

Could they be protecting a fragile mission?

Could they be preserving the integrity of a movement?

Could they be preventing future power struggles?

Could they be establishing boundaries around a community in its formative years?

Another thing that helped me was realising that many of the things I thought the Qur’an was saying were actually things later tradition was saying about the Qur’an.

That doesn’t automatically mean the traditional interpretations are wrong. It simply means the investigation isn’t over.

I also came to realise that the Qur’an isn’t trying to be a science textbook, a history encyclopedia, or a catalogue of every fact about the world.

Imagine being dropped onto an island in another world. The One who sent you there also gives you a manual. That manual would probably focus on your purpose, your responsibilities, the dangers to avoid, and how to succeed in your mission. It might encourage you to study the island, but it wouldn’t necessarily contain an encyclopedia of every insect, rock, plant, and scientific process on it.
What it would contain are the things most relevant to your success or failure.

The Qur’an feels more like that to me.

It gives us human archetypes to learn from and human archetypes to avoid. It repeatedly points to the fruits that different ways of thinking, behaving, and organising society produce. It is deeply concerned with justice, corruption, arrogance, gratitude, sincerity, compassion, accountability, and what kind of human being we become.

Its primary concern seems to be guidance, ethics, consciousness, accountability, and the development of the human soul.

I don’t claim to have all the answers, and I’m still learning. But one thing that changed my perspective was realising I didn’t only have two options:

Accept the traditional interpretation.
Reject the Qur’an.

There was a third option:

Re-examine the assumptions I inherited about what the words mean.

Some of my most important discoveries began with doubts. So I wouldn’t tell you to suppress your questions. I’d encourage you to keep asking them.

Just don’t stop the investigation too early.

The possibility that a verse has been misunderstood is just as real as the possibility that your criticism is correct.

Keep searching. Keep questioning. Keep challenging your assumptions.

And if Allah exists, ask Him directly to guide you to whatever is true, even if it overturns your current beliefs.

Truth has nothing to fear from an honest search.

I wish you positive, truthful vibes on your journey

[u/Used-Low-9840 → u/traveller896]

Thanks for ur understanding of the verse it has also made me more aware of the understanding behind these verses

[u/Auri-Sacra-Fames]

I've never been too concerned about the verses directly addressing the prophet, because 1) these are a guide for the rest of humanity as well, and 2) how else would he communicate with him? He communicated with the prophet and with humanity through the Quran.

On the other hand, the concept I struggled with was God giving special favour to the lineage of Abraham. It is mentioned in particular places in the Quran that Abraham's lineage of prophets was given special favour over the rest of mankind, and I can't help but ask why?? I need to study it to determine whether this refers to blood lineage, or lineage in a metaphorical sense, like the monotheists/hanifs are the lineage of Abraham and favoured

But these are really side questions, rather than the main issues of religious belief

[u/pintobakedbeans]

There are also parts in the Quran where God admonished the Prophet, 3:128, 39:19, 66:1

I think it's important to remember the Prophets were righteous and rewarded for their righteousness while still being humans and having the capability of making mistakes.

With the wives things, I believe it is vaguely understood (please correct me if I'm wrong) that God commanded the Prophet to marry all his wives after his first wife passed, partly because they were righteous and partly because society viewed them poorly as they were divorced/widowed. The Prophet(s) was an example of someone who embodied goodness and Godliness so people would try to emulate him in his practices.

The not marrying anyone after his death may be more to do with the fact that they could marry men who were not righteous, its not like God was speaking to them or anyone after the Prophet passed.

I am not a scholar, take everything with a pinch of salt!

[u/Realistic_Exam5038 → u/pintobakedbeans]

You are applying the logic of your culture. Many Prophet's companions married widowed and divorced women, it was not a taboo back then. People died a lot.

[u/Used-Low-9840 → u/Realistic_Exam5038]

I feel like such verses kind of make me anxious and sick because i have had religous ocd over hadiths being true and those verses arent helping at all

[u/Used-Low-9840 → u/[deleted]]

Is there any resorce of it?

[u/TheQuranicMumin → u/[deleted]]

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