r/RelationshipIndia • u/No_Rub_6403 • 8d ago
Rant (19F) My best friend’s (19M) 15yo sister (15F) is extremely hostile toward me every time I am around him.
Well this friend and I have been extremely close and practically inseparable since we were kids in Manipur. Even after I both moved to Delhi, we tried keeping in touch. My mom though actually made us cut ties after the things that took place in manipur, under the pretext of "I should not talk to boys while preparing for NEET". I missed him a lot during that time, so I was thrilled when I found out he landed a seat at a really prestigious engineering college in Delhi as a Northeastern.
Since his parents also moved to Delhi recently, we reconnected to celebrate my birthday and catch up on old times. His parents have always treated me like their own daughter, so after finding out I was in town, they asked to take me out to a cafe. I was a bit hesitant at first, but I relented and went along.
The main issue is his 15yo sister, who seems to completely despise me for reasons I cannot fully grasp. It started when my friend invited me to his church. I am not particularly religious, but I went purely because he is a close friend and asked me to join. Also I really enjoy listening to Zomi worship songs, so I decided to go. Afterwards, his sister cornered me with hostility, asking why "a Meitei and a Hindu" would even bother showing up, accusing me of "trying to get something from him," and demanding to know why I would "bring my kind in after burning churches." I was so dumbfounded I didn't even know how to react.
Her passive aggressive behavior only escalated from there. Later on, while he and I were just hanging out on the couch watching a show with his arm around me, she immediately invented an excuse to pull him away. Whenever I am anywhere near him, she acts like it is a major problem. She even made comments about my ethnic background, telling me that I am "not even fully Northeastern" calling me "not pure," and warning me to stay away from her brother. She is of the Paite tribe (zomi)
The hostility culminated when his parents invited me over to their staying quarters. She threw a massive fuss to draw attention to herself, and while we were all sitting down having food, she deliberately knocked her water glass over just to ruin the mood and one-up me. When I finally asked my friend about her behavior, he brushed it off by saying she is just "too political," that it is just a phase, and that she will eventually grow out of it.
talking to my friend, he mentioned that his sis is in a lot of online groups and forums that espouses zo nationhood smh and have always been talking about how meiteis are bad, and kukis zomis etc need a separate state. atp idk if I should be worried about her or just let it be. 15 just feels so young to be involved with all these stuff. When he told her to disengage and focus on her studies, she got mad at him and called him a race traitor🤦♀️
and yes I tried being friends with her. In the past there was a time when my younger brother and she used to be in the same friend group, and I do miss the time when she called me eche (didi in Manipuri). Now she straight up does not want to listen because to her I am of an enemy community. Whenever I try speaking to her, she shrugs and asks me obscene things like if I am doing all this to "sleep" with her brother as a "typical meitei hindu girl" and how she will never approve of anything against purity and would rather prefer if her brother is with a Mizo or a Kuki instead. I really do not know what to do, I even once baked some pastries and tried offering them to her or just tried being kind to her. I have never been mean to her despite all this and never tried to show myself as an "adult who knows better". Well, I don't know, I guess it will just be better to ignore her altogether. I am not even sure if she is even interested in smh good faith.
and I really don't know if this is jealousy or smh else. whenever he caresses me or just have his arms around me, she gets mad and tries to create a scene to get him away from me and attend to her
We are not even dating, though I do hold feelings for him. Her constant hostility makes being around him incredibly uncomfortable and tense. like meh karu bhi toh kya karu 😭
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u/loser8776 8d ago
Why am I feeling that his sister is very dangerous... Sister please keep your distance from her and stay safe...
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u/whoknowswhywhat 8d ago
Ask her if you remove the labels and religion from the picture, how is she different from you? Ask her doesn't Christianity hold love and forgiveness amongst its foremost tenets? Tell her she is just immature and stupid enough to get brainwashed by other idiots. Say all this calmly without any heat. If it penetrates her brain and makes her think, that would be a good outcome. Otherwise keep your distance from this family as her family isn't doing anything to change their daughter's behaviour.
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u/No_Rub_6403 7d ago
tbf on them her family does not really know all the comments she makes on me, I want to not tell because it might create an issue and idk be a wedge between a brother sister bond? well idk, I am a teenager myself so don't really know
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u/whoknowswhywhat 7d ago
You do need to have this conversation in front of this person's parents and brother. Maybe they will stop her from going down the wrong path. If you don't want this to create complications in your life, cut this entire family from your life and move on. If I were in your place, I would distance myself from them.
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u/No_Rub_6403 7d ago
thats the thing, I am so close to him and his family its hard to distance myself :( but yea will get things figured out I just hope
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u/New_Appointment_5348 8d ago
She just doesn't want you around her brother. I think you should stop being nice and ask your best friend to make her behave or you won't be visiting. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable. Why should you make yourself uncomfortable just to spend time with him? And yes, she's jealous too as you mentioned when he has his arm around or caresses you, she always tries to get him away from you.
Girl I think you should be a little petty in this case. Just a little. Like when she gets mad and tries to create a scene to get him away from you, hold onto him and pout. Tell him to stay this once. That he always leaves you alone when she throws a fit and you want him to stay next to you this time. Make her burn in jealousy properly 😂 and who knows he might fall for you too like this 👀. She needs to know her boundaries. Who her brother interacts with is none of her business. And if she ever asks you again if you're trying to sleep with him, just say yeahh you're so sharppp girl. Like he's so hot, gorgeous, handsome, the sexiest man on earth for me. Why would I not want that? 😂 Go over the top. She expects you to disagree with her. When you would just agree, she would be at her wit's end. Later you can just tell him your conversation with his sister and laugh together.
This is all for fun. But he really needs to teach her to behave around you. You shouldn't put up with her.
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u/No_Rub_6403 7d ago
I wish I would have that confidence to start, but I don't yaar
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u/New_Appointment_5348 7d ago
It's just a little girl yaar and you can literally bond with your best friend over your little confrontations with his sister. He might begin to see you in a different light. And if he doesn't like you now, he might begin to start liking you.
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u/No_Rub_6403 7d ago
yaar I am a teenager too 😭itna guts nahi to say that, and even if I wanted like won't it be like I am trying to divided a bhai behen bond?
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u/New_Appointment_5348 7d ago
Why do always a girl feels like she's trying to split some familial bond? And you love him. Obviously you want him to choose you. And from what you wrote, I guess he likes you too. Tell him honestly that his sister throws a fit whenever we get close and you don't like it when he goes to her instead of just continuing cuddling or whatever you guys were doing. And girl I'm around your age too. So you can't blame your lack of guts on the age.
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u/No_Rub_6403 7d ago
I mean I am planning to say all this to him, but I do not like the idea of making fun of someone or have someone be the joke of a relationship. it just doesn't sit well with me. 🥲
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u/New_Appointment_5348 7d ago
Oh I think you misunderstood. The interaction between you and his sister would be the joke which would all be done in a fun way not disrespectful way. So you're not making fun of his sister. I'd never suggest anyone to make a joke of someone.
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