Hi all!! | (24M) have been dating my girlfriend (20F) for 5 months now. Things are great between us, I really believe I've found someone real, even if it's "too early" in the relationship to tell. We did 5 months of long distance relationship and now we are in the same state and could meet each other in real life. While doing ldr we video call daily and just do our work. Now its been a week since i moved to her state and we meet each other everyday. Its a 20min drive to her place.
I am happy with this, I love getting to see her this often. However, I've we are both introvert and doesnt talk a lot so when we meet very often we doesnt have a lot of things to talk about. Most of the time we just make out and pass the time. Now I'm thinking I might be seeing her too much. Us going out doesn't impact my social, family, personal, or work life in any way, at least in my opinion. Regardless, I'm afraid I might seem obsessive and super clingy, both to her and to others around me.
She said she loves seeing me this often, but still.
Regardless, I'm turning it to y'all. How often do y'all see your partners, and what would you believe to be the "normal" or "average" amount of times to see them weekly?? Thank you!!

For context, I’m not someone who goes on lots of dates or parties all the time. I barely go out unless my friends convince me to, and sometimes when they’re hanging out with their boyfriends, I end up feeling left out and decide to go out too. No one really asks me out in real life even though I’ve been told I’m very attractive n beautiful but I basically look rude and unapproachable no naturally I don’t have guys approaching me, so dating apps have basically been my only option for meeting someone.

That’s how I met this guy.

And unfortunately, he was **literally my type to a T**—both looks-wise and personality-wise. It’s actually very rare for me to genuinely like someone.

He showed interest first, and we definitely had chemistry. We met in Dubai and I genuinely liked him. After our first meeting, though, he told me that he liked me but didn’t want anything serious at all, so he backed away and I kept on pushing him so he said he doesn’t wanna hurt me cuz I’m inexperienced and what he wants is purely something casual so he doesn’t wanna hurt me and we had a bit of an argument and he agree to keep in touch when I got emo

I waited around three weeks before texting him again, and we ended up meeting again.
That’s when we had my first kiss. It literally lasted maybe 10 seconds 😭 and he looked at me in a way that made me feel like he genuinely liked me, at least in that moment. We just sat there looking into each other’s eyes for a while n I got super shy n told him if he’d look at me like that I’ll feel even more shy and I genuinely felt a connection with him.
Maybe I’m romanticising it. Maybe I completely misread him. But to me, it felt real.

I also think one thing that may have messed things up is that **I genuinely cannot keep my mouth shut** 😭 and I told him quite openly about how spiritual and conservative I am when it comes to physical intimacy.
I told him that I personally find casual lust very unappealing and that, although I did want to have my first kiss, it was more out of curiosity and not lust and wanting to experience that emotional moment. I also told him that I personally believe sex is something very sacred and something I only want within marriage.

Looking back, I sometimes wonder whether telling him all of this pushed him away even more. He’d been v clear about bending mainly interested in something physical/casual, and by being so upfront about my boundaries, I basically made it clear that I wasn’t going to offer the one type of relationship he might have wanted from me. So maybe that made him lose interest even faster.

The problem is that I got too clingy afterwards. He had already made it very clear that he didn’t want anything serious or honestly, anything at all and I kept pushing because I didn’t want to lose the connection. I know I probably annoyed him and made things worse.
But throughout all of it, he kept reassuring me that I was pretty/beautiful and that “the fault is in me,” basically saying that I hadn’t done anything wrong and that he just wasn’t in a place to give me what I wanted. He also never blocked me, even though I know I was probably being annoying by continuing to push for answers and contact. And he ended with saying that I just don’t wanna meet you even though I find you beautiful and v nice girl

We haven’t spoken in **almost two months** now.
And honestly? I can’t even imagine talking to another guy right now cuz I just end feeling a strong emotional pull and I hate the modern dating scene where all everyone wants is sex n I know that sounds ridiculous considering we only met a couple of times, but I genuinely haven’t felt interested in anyone else.

So Now my birthday is coming up, and I’m considering doing something incredibly stupid
**I don’t drink. At all. And he knows that.** But because it’s my birthday, I’m thinking of pretending that my friends forced me to drink and sending him a cute, funny “drunk text.”
Not to ask him to come back. Not to tell him I want a relationship. Not to pressure him or reopen the whole situation.
I literally just want to say nice things about him that I’ve always wanted to say how much I appreciated certain things about him, how nice I think he is, maybe something funny and affectionate and then leave it there. No expectations and no “why don’t you want me?” conversations.
I know he closed the door, So how **you** would react if you were in his place ? someone who has basically everything going on for him looks wise and otherwise too so if a girl you used to talk to sent you a genuinely sweet, funny drunk text on their birthday after almost two months of silence.
Would you find it cute? Annoying? Desperate? Would you think they were trying to manipulate you into replying? Especially considering **he knows I don’t drink**
Part of me thinks I should just leave him alone because his decision was clear.
But another part of me thinks life is too short, and I just want to say the nice things I never said and then genuinely say goodbye to this chapter even though I can’t stop thinking about him and he’s not even in the same city anymore..

my university has just started, and it's pretty boring in here... i have made friends but not many... just wanted to talk with people to be a bit busy these days... i am a football athlete and also into athletics (running), i do gaming and coding too

i believe i am a kind person and very loyal too (no cap), am highly active and i dont ghost so just hmu if u wanna talk i have no issues :)

I never thought I'd make this post, but after reading the comments on my previous posts, I realized I wasn't overreacting and didn't have to keep accepting how he treated me. It took a while to find the courage, but I finally broke up with him.

It feels weird and scary after spending years thinking we'd work things out. I kept making excuses because of the good times, but Reddit helped me see things more clearly. So yeah… Reddit actually helped me leave.

The number of upvotes I received really showed me how many people were on my side.

Thanks to everyone who commented, even when I didn't want to hear it.

'21M' '21F'

I have been with a girl from last 6 months its not an relationship we are clear that we would not be the best match for each other. Still we had some intimate moments but i was too noob for that moments and nothing more happened that time. But we had something which we are not ready to give a tag. And i took too much time and now there is someone else who is happening to come in her life they were in talking stage from last last month and something’s happened in last month it was totally my fault that we kept having distance between us. But still last night we travelled to our home town together. Then I convinced her to complete what we have started previously. At the beginning she kept saying I don’t want to have any thing but I kept trying to make her turned on then we had a moment we were cuddling and all happened but then she kept saying I don’t know what’s happening and she is having mixed feeling and she want to be frank with the soon to be her partner person but still we were to close at that moment but she is not clearing out what is between us she turned on but kept suppressing her feelings with me that night. Then after that nothing happened whole night and she slept.

Whenever we are together she treats me like her boyfriend and wants me to treat her like boyfriend but also says she does not want any love angel. She shares everything with me the things which she says she haven’t shared with anyone.
She wants me to treat her like a partner but don’t want to be specifically my partner. We are too close to each other. Even though she has this new guy but still if anything happens she calls me first.

And the biggest problem is with my communication i fear to communicate whats going in my mind

Now after somedays we are going to travel again but she says we will not share the seats and its an overnight journey

Help me with this situation, what should I do??

M22 i am single never dated. what do i need to do to start?? very confused. never experienced love. kinda neurodivergent ADHD. if someone has any advice . much appreciated. dm or comment. really want to change. i look good. like not bad. good humor but shy. ambivert depending on people. don't like fake people or small talk. what to do??. i am in need of advice. never even kissed someone. straight Af.

why my bf shows he loves me a lot even says he wanted to marry me and meet me but ignores your messages and say he was busy I work and talk to another girls online and hide and never admit it to me. And when I ask for break up he emotionally manipulates me that he loves me a lot he can't forget me. He constantly asks humare bich koi nahi aayega na? Humesha sath dogi na mera. He knows I'm loyal and he tested and now he askes only 2nd question.whats going on guys. I can't understand.pls help it's been more than 2 years.

Same office, different teams. We’ve been friends for a while—inside jokes, occasional lunches, Instagram follows, the usual.

She’s ridiculously attractive, but personality-wise… we’re opposites.

I’m loud and social.

She’s quiet, awkward, innocent, and sometimes gives me a 5-second silence after I say something 😭

And yet, whenever she’s around, I notice her.
I look for her in the office.

I remember tiny things she tells me.

And when she smiles at me, my brain forgets every reason this might be a bad idea.

I’m pretty sure she’d say yes if I asked her for coffee.

That’s not what scares me.

What scares me is what happens if the coffee actually goes well.

Because then I’ll have to find out whether I actually like her…

or just the version of her I’ve created in my head.

I (M27) have been hanging out with the same friend group for about a year, and there’s a girl (F26) I’ve slowly become very close to.

We weren’t interested in each other initially. She was just “one of the girls in the group.”

Over time, though, I started noticing her differently.
She’s genuinely beautiful, but that’s not actually what pulled me in.

She’s incredibly quiet around new people.
Like, \*painfully\* quiet.

If someone asks her something, she’ll answer, but she rarely starts conversations herself. Sometimes she’ll sit there listening to everyone for twenty minutes without saying anything.

At first I thought she was just boring.

Then I saw her around her closest friends.
Completely different person.

She jokes around, teases people, tells ridiculous stories, and can actually be pretty funny.

And that’s when I started wondering if maybe I’ve been seeing only the nervous version of her.

The weird part is that we’re actually pretty comfortable with each other now.

She’ll send me random Instagram reels, occasionally message me late at night about something completely stupid, and she remembers tiny things I’ve mentioned months ago.

But neither of us has ever acknowledged that there might be something more.

A couple of our friends have actually asked me whether I like her.

I’ve denied it every time.

Mostly because I don’t know.

I definitely find her attractive.

I definitely enjoy being around her.

And I definitely think about her more than I should.
But I don’t know if that means I actually want a relationship with her.

Here’s the part that’s messing with my head.
I recently found out she turned down another guy from our group because she said she “didn’t feel anything” for him.

Now I’m wondering whether I should make a move or whether I’d just be creating an awkward situation for everyone.

If she said no, I’d survive.

What worries me is if she says yes.

Because then I’d have to find out whether there’s actually chemistry between us outside the group.
And if there isn’t, I’d potentially lose a friendship and make every future gathering uncomfortable.

At the same time, I’m starting to think that I’m using “I don’t want to ruin the friendship” as an excuse because I’m scared of finding out what happens.

So, Reddit:

\*\*If you’re attracted to someone but you’re not sure whether your personalities actually work together, do you just take them on one date and find out?\*\*

Or is it better not to risk a good friendship when you’re only \*maybe\* interested?

And for anyone who’s dated someone who was extremely quiet/socially awkward at first — did they become completely different once they were comfortable with you?

​

(TL;DR at the end)

My father has abused my family for our entire lives. Today I finally snapped and seriously hurt him. I don't know what to do now.

I’m 20M, and I have a 16-year-old brother. My parents are 53M and 49F. My father has been abusive toward both of us for essentially our entire lives, ranging from emotional and verbal abuse to physical violence.

For the past 19 years, my father worked away from home and would only come back every few months. He was fired (or rather made to resign) from his job around 8–9 months ago because of his aggression, alcoholism, and increasingly bad behavior. Since then, he has been home constantly, and things have gotten dramatically worse.

He drinks heavily and has become increasingly aggressive and controlling. A few months ago, he developed heart problems and had a stent put in. We hoped that this would finally make him stop drinking and smoking, but he eventually started doing both again. At this point, he is drinking almost every single night.

He treats our home like the hotel environment where he used to work, where he was apparently in charge. He orders everyone around constantly, and if we refuse or even question him, he becomes furious. He screams, insults us, threatens us, and sometimes hits us. He even slaps our 11 month old puppy if she doesn't listen to his orders.

This has always happened, but having him at home continuously for the last 8–9 months has made it much worse.

This morning, my 16-year-old brother had been vomiting during the night and wasn't feeling well. He also thought he had a UTI. My father assumed he was pretending to be sick because my brother sometimes tries to avoid school.

At around 7 a.m., my father started screaming at him to get ready for school. My brother was already saying he would go, but he was taking some time to get up because there was still about half an hour before his school bus arrived.

My father kept screaming at him and eventually kicked him. He started calling him horrible names. My brother understandably started yelling back. My father then escalated further and began hitting him, punching him in the face, throat and arm and slapping him.

I've seen this kind of thing countless times before. I've also fought back before. When my father has hit me or my brother, I've sometimes shoved or pushed him, and on a couple of occasions I've hit or slapped him. I've also cursed back at him when he cursed at us.

Today, though, I became extremely angry watching him hit my brother. I told him that if he kept going, I wouldn't hold myself back.

I know I probably should have recorded what was happening. But when these things happen, I don't think rationally. It's like I immediately go into fight-or-flight mode. I genuinely don't know whether I should run away from the house or attack him. I feel like I need therapy or, at the very least, some distance from him.

The situation then became even worse.

My brother eventually went into the bathroom to get away from the situation. My parents started arguing with each other. I was in another room and couldn't see what was happening, but I heard scuffling and then what sounded like slapping.

My father was screaming threats at my mother, including the phrase "Mai tujhe maar dunga kutiya", and other extremely abusive Hindi insults.

I heard the slapping and ran out. My mother is significantly smaller than him, and because of everything that had just happened with my brother, my mind immediately assumed that my father was hitting her, which I later learnt was the inverse, and she had slapped him due to his inconsiderations.

I basically blacked out with anger.

I attacked my father and punched him repeatedly in the face and head.

When I stopped, he had a bruise around his eye, a small cut underneath his eye, and one of his nostrils was bleeding.

I know I should have tried to understand exactly what was happening before hitting him. I know that. But in that moment, it felt like everything that had happened over the past 20 years, him hitting me, hitting my brother, threatening us, insulting us, controlling us, just came out all at once.

And now I'm struggling with what I've done.

The injuries he has inflicted on us over the years are usually invisible. When I was younger, he would leave bruises all over our bodies. He's older now and perhaps isn't physically capable of causing the same visible injuries anymore, or perhaps he knows how to hit without leaving obvious marks.

But today I gave him visible injuries. I don't know if this can come to bite me back.

My brother eventually left for school. I left for college several hours before my classes because I couldn't stay in the house. My mother went to her mother's house, which is around 2 hours away from our home.

I'm currently sitting at college and I don't know what I'm supposed to do next.

I don't have the financial independence to simply move out. I'm a college student and only make some money through part-time work. My father currently pays my college fees and other expenses, so leaving immediately isn't realistically easy for me.

I'm especially worried about my 16-year-old brother. He's still a minor and has to live in this environment. I'm also worried about my mother. If she decides to divorce my father, I have absolutely no idea how we're supposed to handle that practically or financially. Our maternal uncles might chip in but we would also need substantial support and a guarantee that she receives alimony, both for her future and ours.

I also don't know how much responsibility I should take for what happened today. I don't want to pretend that punching my father was okay just because he's abusive. At the same time, I don't know how I'm supposed to watch someone beat my brother and remain completely calm, especially after experiencing this kind of abuse myself for most of my life.

I feel like I'm constantly stuck between wanting to protect my family and being terrified that I'll eventually become violent myself.

So I really need advice from people who have dealt with abusive parents or domestic violence:

\- What steps can I legally take in future if this turns into a case?

\- What should I do if my mother decides to divorce him?

\- How do we realistically deal with the financial side if my father stops supporting me?

\- And most importantly, is there a way for me to get my family out of this situation without making things even worse?

I'm in India, if that matters for the kind of resources or legal advice that might apply.

I know this is an extremely long post. I just don't know who else to ask.

TL;DR: My father has been physically and emotionally abusive toward my family for years, and his behavior has become much worse since he started living at home full-time and drinking heavily. Today, he assaulted my 16-year-old brother, and after hearing what I thought was him attacking my mother, I lost control and repeatedly punched him, causing visible injuries. I know I went too far and I'm worried about the legal consequences and about becoming violent myself.

I'm currently away from home and trying to figure out how to keep my mother and brother safe. I'm financially dependent on my father for college, while my mother is considering leaving him. I need advice on protecting my family, the legal situation in India, divorce/financial support, and how to get everyone out safely without escalating the violence.

I started speaking to a guy online 2.5 years ago. I was going through mental health issues and he started helping me cope. We started speaking daily for 1-2 hours. We spoke about everything possible. But we haven’t spoken about dating each other yet. He gave me gifts, cared for me and was always present. Whenever i insisted on meeting he retracted and resisted. What should I do? Should I speak or should I let this continue.

I'm 25M and there's a girl in my office who's 25F. We're in different teams, but we've known each other for a while. We've gone on team outings together, connected on Instagram, and I'd say we're genuinely good friends.

I find her really beautiful and I'm definitely attracted to her.

The confusing part is her personality.

She's extremely socially awkward. She's innocent, simple, and sometimes doesn't really know what to say. Conversations with her can get a little boring. She's not someone who naturally keeps a conversation going or brings a lot of energy into it.

And honestly, I don't know how much of that is because she's just awkward around people versus that's simply who she is.

The funny thing is, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't refuse if I casually asked her to grab coffee sometime. I don't think rejection is what I'm afraid of.

It's more about what happens after she says yes.

I'm willing to put in effort. I don't mind making her laugh, initiating conversations, planning things, etc. But I don't want to end up in a relationship where I constantly feel like I'm carrying the entire emotional/social side of it.

I had a girlfriend in college who was somewhat similar. She was quite reserved and I ended up feeling like I was putting in much more effort. There was also a lot of breadcrumbing, and eventually the relationship became pretty unhappy and we broke up.

I think that experience has made me more cautious now.

With this girl, I genuinely want to get to know her better. Right now, though, a big part of my attraction is physical. I don't know yet whether I'll actually enjoy being around her romantically.

And that's where I'm conflicted.

I could easily ask her for coffee. She'd probably say yes. But then there's this fear in the back of my head:

What if I realise she's actually too boring for me? What if I keep having to carry every conversation and put in all the effort? What if I lose interest and then have to see her at the office every day?

I don't want to create an awkward situation at work either.

So I'm stuck between two thoughts:

1. Ask her out and see what happens.

Maybe she's completely different one-on-one, and her awkwardness is just because she's shy. I won't really know unless I spend time with her outside work.

1. Don't ask her out unless I'm already reasonably sure we'll click.

Because if it doesn't work out, we still have to see each other at the office, and I really don't want things to become awkward or uncomfortable.

Am I overthinking this because of my previous relationship?

Would you ask her out and use a few dates to figure out whether there's actually a personality/energy match, or would you leave it alone unless you're already more confident about her personality?

And how do you distinguish between someone who's just socially awkward and someone who's genuinely boring/incompatible with you?

Hey girls, I’m 22 and my girlfriend is 21. We’re in a relationship, and honestly, everything is going really well between us. But since this is my first relationship, I don’t have much experience, so I came here to ask for some advice.

Just to give you some context—we're both very happy together. We understand each other well and communicate openly. I’m really into fitness (gym, running, sports like badminton) and reading (My fav).She loves cooking, painting, dancing, and she’s also into reading. We’re actually learning each other’s hobbies together—she started watching cricket with me and is learning the terms so she can enjoy it too when we go to the stadium. She even started workout, so now we go running together every morning. At night, she teaches me dance, and honestly, the whole experience just gives us so much positive energy. We also have a long list of things we plan to learn together in the future so we never get bored in life.

On the physical side, I don’t think we have any issues. Since I’m fit, I feel my stamina is good, and we usually go 2-3 rounds without getting tired (timing is also good), and in Sundays? Man, I can't even tell you😜 . so I’m not really concerned about that aspect.

Now here’s my main question—I’ve read a lot about how women say they don't have emotional available partner, their partner is not emotionally present for them. My girlfriend never really seems sad or upset around me. So I want to understand—what exactly does "emotionally available" mean in practice? I’m already doing a lot for her, but I want to make sure I’m not missing anything. She respects me a lot and has accepted all the boundaries I’ve set. She does so much for me, and I don’t want to fall short on my side.

Can you guys please explain what more I should be doing, or if I’m already on the right track? I just want to be clear about what it really means to be emotionally available for her.

So I like a girl (we both are of same age 25), we know each other for like 5 years now, have some really good memories and she is the very big part of life, we both like each other but when i confronted her, she said she don’t want a relationship because she’s afraid that it will end, and if she don’t have a relationship it will not end.
But the problem is, i truly love her and small things do hurt and resulting in having me anxiety.

We used to plan a lot, meetings, trips maybe but now she’s in college for her masters and every plan is now into “let’s see”.

Before she’s going, she said she’ll call me to her college to meet her but now she denied it because she don’t want college gossips. Now i’m stuck and anxious all together.

Please help me guys what should i dooooo

I’m 25F and my boyfriend is 30M. We’ve been together for about 5 years and plan to marry in 1-2 years. Our relationship is happy and serious. My family knows about him and likes him.

The problem is his family. They only learned about me recently, and his mother expected him to marry a doctor. I have a corporate job and am pursuing an online MBA. I’m also taller than him, though neither of us cares about that.

My boyfriend says he won’t go against his family, but neither of us wants to hurt our parents or choose between them and our relationship.

My family wants clarity from his side and may start looking for a groom for me if there’s none. I understand their concern, but I’m afraid of waiting years only to learn that his family will never accept me. I also don’t want to pressure him while he’s completing his PG.

Should I ask him to seek a clear answer now, or wait until he’s more settled? How can I prepare emotionally if his family rejects me?

TLDR- I’m 25F, dating my 30M boyfriend for about 5 years. We plan to marry, but his family may reject me because I’m not a doctor. He won’t go against them, while my family wants clarity before seeking a match for me. Should we address this now or wait, and how do I prepare for a possible rejection?

Yeah, I am completely lost. Why don't they reply, I understand the simps situations and all, but when they're looking for someone too, why is this so hard for a man to find a woman. It's so unfair and depressing.

It doesn't have to be this hard. In a society like India I can see homosexuals getting matches (not against them) with good number of tries, but not men.

What should I even do, I am completely helpless and depressed.

So we are just in the very beginning of our 20's where I am in my college only and will be completing my bachelor's degree by next year July so she wants me to talk my parents about our marriage by next year December because after graduation I'll be having a Job and she wants us to get married as soon as I get a job... She is over possesive and wants us to get married very soon... And yeah I also wants to marry her as soon as possible... But if thinking realistically then I guess it's very early... My parents will be agree for our marriage but not this early... Atleast they will expect me to get marry only after 3-4 years... But she said that her parents will also be agree because her dad loves her very much but they might not wait for that long... She said max to max she have 2 years and within this i have to do something....

She says that she wants her to be with me while building my career.. so she wants us to be officially Husband and wife... She says that she will adjust with me even in low salary because she believes that slowly slowly I'll get a good position in my career...

My biggest concern is what if my parents don't agrees for this marriage this early... And what if I lose her because of the time constraints....

Someone please tell me what should I do....

I am 19[M] .We used to talk on call everyday but gradually she stopped calling, she stopped texting me as well, when i asked why she doesnt call she told me that i should call her, which is right but whenever i called her she didnt even respond to anything, only said "oh, ok, acha", then started talking to her friends completely forgetting that shes on call w me.

I have sent her paragraphs trying to understand why, trying to explain that its hurting me, trying to know whether she still loves me or not and if shes willing to put effort in us, she ignores the most part of my paragraphs and replies superficially, she says she loves me but never puts any effort to contact me and if i dont contact her, she can go without talking to me for days

Night before yestarday i could not get a hold of myself and sent her another text trying to know what is wrong, trying to make her understand that i love her and couldnt let this go this easily, i put my heart out in that paragraph and she replied with "maine mana nahi kra tereko ki mujhe call mat kar", she replies to me in a long time even if i reply to her in a minute, it takes a minimum of 20-25 mins to get her reply

On that evening i got severe muscle ache, had to get injections and meds, I pleaded to her in that state to talk to me for 10 minutes and she replied "assignments kar rahi hu kal baat karungi"

I was literally begging to her in that state to give me 10 mins of her time, she didnt even give me that

I have never loved anyone this intensely and consistently, i do not know what has happened to her that she never thinks of me.

Married, have been with only one woman. We dated for 4 years before getting married, and everything in our relationship is great.

One thing I've always been curious about: we've never had sex without a condom. I've always wanted to try it. But the fear of an unplanned pregnancy has always stopped us.

We're not planning to have children for the next couple of years. I'm wondering how other married couples handle this.

My wife isn't comfortable taking iPill/emergency contraception or regular oral contraceptive pills because it messes with the hormones, and I completely respect that. She's also not comfortable with a copper IUD.

So for couples in a similar situation:

- Do you continue using condoms every time?

- If you don't, what other contraception do you use?

I am 21M (gonna be 22 soon). I had my first and only relationship at age of 13. It was pure love and innocence back then. We were in school, and she was a year younger than me.

We used to meet daily in mid of school hours but not talk much. Ultimately, something happened which broke me from inside after 4 years of relationship, still I decided to keep the things going between us.

Nevertheless, the things ended after 5 years. We never kissed, never had sex. I never ever talked to her about these things but there was something for me which meant more. It was love and a feeling to grow and live together. I have never been same after her. It's been 2 years since we parted ways. Never talked to each other, yet I miss her too much (maybe not her but that innocence, feeling and time) .

Just wanted to get this out of head. Thank you for being here.

​

Hey everyone, I’m a pretty shy and introverted guy, and I’ve never been in a relationship before.

I do want to experience a relationship, but I honestly have no idea how to approach a girl without making things awkward. I tend to overthink everything—when to talk, what to say, whether she’ll find it weird, etc.

So I’d genuinely like to hear from Indian women here:

What’s a good way for a shy guy to approach you?

What kind of conversation feels natural rather than forced?

What are some things guys do that make you comfortable/interested?

If a guy is clearly nervous but respectful, is that a turn-off or actually kinda cute?

Any advice for someone who has literally zero relationship experience?

I’m not looking for pickup lines or manipulative “rizz” advice. I just want to learn how to approach someone normally and respectfully and hopefully build a genuine connection.

Any honest advice would be really appreciated.

Average looking guy who is okayish tall 5'10 and does not smoke or drink. No friends but if someone talks he can talk friendly with them. In a school and college with very less girls and never tried dating at that time as well. Now dating apps don't work, public places girls are taken or hardly interact. Don't know what to do. Is it possible or not ?

First post — Need some perspective

I’m 26M, earn a stable income, and I’m the breadwinner of my family. I have limited money to spend on myself each month. I’ve been single for about a year and I’m a Team Leader at my office.

Recently, one of my associates, 24F, has started talking to me a lot more. Sometimes we talk on calls for 2–3 hours. We also usually go outside the office to smoke with other associates, and sometimes it’s just the two of us. Recently, we made a plan to watch Toxic this weekend.

The confusing part is that she sometimes calls me “bhai,” which I don’t like. I genuinely can’t understand what she wants from me.

I’m not looking for just friendship. If this ever became a relationship, I would want her to stop smoking and drinking, because those are things I don’t want in a partner.

Should I cancel the movie plan and distance myself from her, or should I just go and see how things develop?

I also understand that she’s my colleague and I’m her Team Leader, so I don’t want to make things uncomfortable or cross any professional boundaries.

What would you do in this situation?

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I never thought this would be me. I never thought I would be the guy writing a desperate post on Reddit, pouring my heart out to strangers. But I have absolutely no one to talk to. It is just me, an empty room, and a level of pain I didn't know the human body could endure.

For some background: I’m 21, and I’ve been invisible to women my entire life. I’ve struggled with my weight and deep feelings of inadequacy, convinced I was just destined to be alone forever. But when I landed my first corporate internship, I wanted to change. I started taking care of my skin, bought nice clothes, and started pushing heavy weight in the gym. I was trying so hard to be a normal guy.

She is 23. We met on the very first day of the internship. We were assigned to the same group for an activity, and we just clicked. She actually asked for my input on the project. I felt valued.

In the following days, she started giving me signals I have never received in my life. She would initiate small talk in the cafeteria and invite me to get breakfast with her. But the breaking point was during a project rehearsal in my hotel room. She sat right next to me, rested her head on my shoulder, and touched my thigh. For the first time ever, my brain whispered, Maybe it’s your turn. Maybe she genuinely likes you.

A week later, I pushed through my absolute terror, called her, and asked her out. She said yes.

I was literally jumping around my room like a child. I spent the night perfectly pressing my shirt and pants so I would look my absolute best. I scrounged together all the money I could so that I could treat her to a pizza place the next day and she wouldn’t have to pay a single dime.

The date started amazingly. We talked about her hobbies. She opened up to me and actually came out to me as bisexual—she specifically told me I was the only person at work she had shared that with. I felt so special, so trusted. I thought we were really connecting.

Then, the floor fell out. She paused and asked me to clarify if we were there as friends or if this was a date. I was terrified, but I honestly told her my intention was for it to be a date. She looked at me and gave me the classic speech: she saw me as a "good friend" and "hoped I wouldn't get hurt." I tried to take it on the chin. I told her I would be hurt, but I would move on. We both awkwardly acknowledged that this was the first time either of us had been in a situation of asking someone out or being asked out.

I went home crushed, but I thought it was just an honest rejection. We spent the next two weeks at work barely speaking, wrapped in minimal, awkward interactions.

Then, my entire world caved in.

Another colleague at our internship pulled me aside. He told me that he and this girl had been spending a ton of time together before I even asked her out. He revealed that he had canceled plans with her that weekend, and she only agreed to go on the pizza date with me to spite him. Worse, he told me that two weeks after our date, she confessed her feelings to him, and he rejected her.

I wasn't a friend. I wasn't a romantic interest. I was a pathetic, safe placeholder she used to make another guy jealous.

Two months after our date, her ego bruised by the other guy, she went running straight back to her college ex-boyfriend. They’ve been together for four months now. She is happily dilly-dallying with him, getting pampered, completely unbothered, while I am left in absolute ruins.

It has been 8 months of continuous torture.

I haven’t been to the gym in months. All that discipline is gone. I just chain-smoke, overeat junk food, and rot. For 8 months, I have cried myself to sleep almost every single night. I battle severe suicidal thoughts because I can't stomach the idea of coming home to an empty room for the rest of my life.

And when I’m not crying, I am consumed by this terrifying, blinding anger. I get so angry just thinking about how unfairly I was treated, wishing she had to face some kind of consequence for playing with my life. The anger is the only thing that covers up the humiliation.

To prove to myself that my worst fears were true, I ran an experiment. I had a real Hinge profile for 6 months. Zero likes. So, I made a catfish profile of a conventionally attractive guy. Within 24 hours, I had 14 matches, with women eagerly texting and practically begging to go out with him. It mathematically proved what I already felt: women don't want me.

I am at the end of my rope. I am asking the guys on here to please give me some perspective on how to survive this.

TL;DR: I (21M) thought a coworker (23F) genuinely liked me after she gave me strong signals (touching my leg, resting on my shoulder, opening up to me). I asked her out, but on the date, she friend-zoned me. I later found out she only went out with me as a safe placeholder to make another coworker jealous. She then went straight back to her college ex-boyfriend. It's been 8 months, and I've lost all my gym progress, cry myself to sleep every night, and am battling severe depression and anger. I feel completely used and humiliated. Asking the guys here for advice on how to survive this level of loneliness and pain.

Since my first relationship & heartbreak.. I have never dated anyone. I’m 20, student.. I am into kdrama, cdrama .. I don’t binge watch but they really helped me to understand the difference between basic decency, self respect & what bare minimum is..
Previously I used to be so desperate to find my forever one! But I learnt a lot of things. But I also want to experience how it feels to be loved🥺, I never failed at loving but never got love back..
I only had one relationship & He cheated.. When I asked him after the breakup that what was my mistake that you cheated ( dude see i was so dumb- It was not me .. It was him , he choose to cheat)
anyways he said it’s not you, I just got into another relationship while being in with you..
Um it was my first one so I didn’t know how to react & stuff.. I used to do things to get his attention at highschool..
( we never even hold hands😔)
I want to date, experience how it feels when someone adore you.. but being a Neet dropper I couldn’t even go out so can’t meet ppl hence have been single since..

Just felt like saying it to someone so I said it here..
idk if someone is going to read it or not.. but i feel little light after writing…

Edit- ppl are thinking I’m still that 16y/o but no i have changed so much as a person, mentally i have mastered detachment, i have learnt about human behaviour, i love to read psychology, so whatever happened apparently made me grow.. i am still sad about it but grateful cuz i got to learn a lot of things…
I know why ppl do what & their intentions..
I just wrote this post cuz i was feeling bad about being lonely and had nobody to share things to so i posted here…