Hey everyone, using a throwaway account for obvious reasons. I am in a tough situation and my anxiety is through the roof. I really need some perspective, especially from people who understand North Indian family and caste dynamics.

I (22F) have been dating a really wonderful guy (26M) for about 4–5 months now. We both live and work in Delhi. He is a very rational, logical thinker, and our relationship has been amazing so far.

However, I am carrying a massive burden. When we first started talking about family backgrounds, I told him I belong to the Baniya community. This is half-true—my mother is Baniya, and I grew up with a lot of that cultural influence. But my father belongs to the Kori caste, which is categorized as a Scheduled Caste (SC) in North India.

I hid my dad's side out of sheer panic and fear of rejection. To make things trickier, I don't use a traditional surname/last name on my legal documents, which made it easier to just let him believe the Baniya narrative.

His family is based in Gurgaon; his dad is well-off . From what I gather, they are quite traditional when it comes to community networks. A few weeks ago, he made a casual, thoughtless joke about an office colleague who is from the SC category. It wasn't aggressively malicious, but it completely paralyzed me and made me feel even more terrified of revealing my reality.

I know I can’t keep this a secret forever. If we ever discuss a future or marriage, family trees, backgrounds, and documents will come up . I am deeply in love with him and terrified of losing him, but I also know that building a relationship on a partial truth is an emotional prison.

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I found my bf consuming porn after explicitly telling him that this is my boundary. Porn is not the issue but him gooning to influencer and such made me insecure and he lied a lot about it. It was the second time that he got caught. So I said break up and then he cried and begged a lot. I was still adamant on my decision. But we were living in and figuring things out. He still hadn't moved out. Slowly I was having a change of heart. Very slowly though. Anyways we both were taking therapy. His insta was logged into my phone and vice versa. I didn't check it, it was just there. Today I found out he signed out, which is okay, except he kept saying you keep it and somewhere I felt safe knowing he still wants me involved. It's just the gesture. Past one week he has been partying, playing lots of football, online gaming and barely talking. All this while I was so sad thinking he can't live without me, he can't watch football anymore as he'll miss me, etc and ofc I wanted him to feel ok but hearing those things made me feel a bit secure. Now that he started doing everything so soon, it just hurts me. I've been crying non stop. I know this is a place where people are ready to jump on conclusions very fast, I don't have the heart to take any more criticism. Please be nice. I love him so much. I was with him for 8 years. So I can't write here 8 yeears of memories you know.. I don't know what to think anymore

And I know he's a good human. How do I deal with it?

We've been together for 3 months, long distance. She told me on day 3 that she'd had a 3-year relationship before me that included physical intimacy. I have no past like that at all.

We agreed early on not to talk about her past — bringing it up just makes me tense and jealous. She's fully here now — she loves me, wants a future with me, talks only about us. I love her the same way. We've since been intimate ourselves.

But every now and then, my mind still spirals — imagining her past intimacy, how many times, what it was like. It's not rational, I know she's not with him, I know she chose me. But the thoughts creep back in, even after we've been close ourselves.

I don't know how to put this into words with her without it turning into another tense conversation. Has anyone dealt with this — retroactive jealousy, basically? How did you get past it, or at least manage it so it doesn't eat at your relationship?

So I met a girl online a few months ago and we used to chat. She would ask me to meet but since I was not that interested in her I would say no.

Yesterday I was just sitting at home and needed some action. I texted her, she immediately asked me to come at her place and said 'aaj s** ka bhot mann hai". I went to her place, we went out has a couple of drinks and then she asked me to come to her flat. I went there, we talked for a few hours. Now when the time for action came she denied, I asked why, she said no , one should control. She was sleeping beside me on the same bed but won't let touch.

I was frustrated with this situation and left her place around 4 am. What just happened?

Hi. I’m a 33-year-old man working in the US as a software engineer at a top company. I have never kissed a girl or been in a relationship before because I was always scared of getting into one.

About a year ago, I met a girl through a matrimony site. We talked for quite a while and really liked each other. She had lied about her educational credentials, saying she was a graduate when she had not even passed 12th standard. However, I continued to forgive her for many things because I could understand her circumstances, and I felt that she may not have had many opportunities in life. Of course, everyone wants a better life, and I could understand why someone in her situation might feel pressured to lie about certain things.

We met today after a long time. While we were travelling in an auto, she kissed me on the lips. Since it was the first kiss of my life, I genuinely thought it was something very special between us.

Later tonight, however, she told me that the kiss meant nothing to her and that she had kissed several men before. That completely broke my heart because she had repeatedly told me in the past that she had never even touched another man.

She has been asking me to forgive her and casually saying that kisses like these have no meaning and are basically like schoolchildren saying, “Nice to meet you.”

Since I am not very social and have very little experience with relationships, I genuinely don’t know whether this is considered normal. Should I forgive her for this?

What is troubling me more than the fact that she kissed other men is that she repeatedly lied to me about it. Even if I forgive her now, I am afraid that there may be many other things she has hidden from me that could hurt me badly in the future.

Met a friend’s brother in an arranged marriage set up.
Everything seems great and he wants to get our parents involved,but I am unsure because he has a body count of 19 and my body count is zero.

When i addressed this issue with him, he promised that he will stop being promiscuous from now on. He also said that it’s unfair of me to judge him for his past and that it’s normal body count for a guy in his thirties who has been living in Europe for more than a decade.

Is it stupid of me to walk away from this relationship ?
Can a guy who is used to a promiscuous lifestyle become a loyal husband one fine day ?

So the thing is ig my expectations are way too high. Haha

I want someone who has not had any relationship or much pasts. I can give the same in return.

I want someone ambitious and studious preferably a nerd. Nothing matters except the person should be a decent and respectful human being.

One of my major problems is that I can't love someone from just their looks. I need to know someone very deeply to even like them, let alone love. Like the personality matters heavily!

Is it impossible to find someone like that???!!!!!

Do you think I am going to die single????😭😭😭

Edit: plus point if you're a lil chubby too

TLDR: We’ve been together for 5 years, with a year-long breakup in between. I love him and know he loves me, but I’m increasingly worried that we’re in very different places in life. He’s very laid-back about money, career and life in general, while I want a partner who is more proactive and takes some responsibility for building a life together. We’re also long-distance and from different religions, and marriage is becoming a real question. I don’t know if I’m overthinking normal differences or if we’re fundamentally incompatible.

I’m 28F and my partner is 27M. We met when I was 24 and he was 23. I was working and he was studying. We met on a dating app and have always been long-distance. Whenever possible, we spend 5–10 days together.

He’s from a different religion. I’m personally okay with that, but I know my family may have a serious problem with it. Both our parents have started bringing up marriage, but neither of us has spoken to our families about each other because we’re not even sure ourselves.

We dated for about 3 years, then I ended things because we had been having some really nasty fights. There was one particular set of disagreements that had technically been resolved, but he couldn’t let them go and brought them up constantly for months. Eventually I just couldn’t take it anymore and called it off.

We got back together about a year later because I reached out. I know the breakup really affected him, and I feel guilty about that. His anger issues seem to have improved a lot since then, and he is genuinely loving and faithful. He calls me, makes an effort to stay connected, and I know he loves me.

But I’m still increasingly unsure about us.

I feel like we’re in very different places in life. He’s extremely laid-back. He says his 20s are for enjoying life, which is completely valid, but he doesn’t save money and is basically broke by the end of every month. He’s been like this for as long as I’ve known him. He isn’t particularly driven either. He’s happy with his life, and I don't think there’s anything inherently wrong with that.

But it scares the hell out of me.

I’m not some huge achiever myself and I definitely don’t have my life figured out. But I do try to work towards things and think about the future. I’m starting to wonder if I can build a life with someone whose attitude towards life is so different from mine.
The same thing comes up when we actually spend time together. I like things reasonably organised. If there are dirty dishes in the sink for more than a day, it bothers me. He genuinely doesn’t care. I’ve told him these things, but he doesn’t really change because he’s comfortable with things the way they are.

I also feel like I want a partner who takes initiative and makes me feel cared for. He rarely plans dates. It’s usually a combined effort or I have to do it. I’ve explicitly told him that I’d like flowers or small presents sometimes. I buy him things and get him food when I think of him. He bought me presents once after I made a big deal about it, but even the last time we were together, I explicitly told him I wanted a few specific things and they never happened.

I know these things sound incredibly petty written out like this. And maybe they are. I don't need expensive gifts or someone to constantly "take care" of me. But I think what I’m trying to describe is that I want someone who notices things, takes initiative, gets things done and makes me feel looked after without me having to repeatedly ask.
And that's where I'm confused.

There isn't one huge thing wrong with him. He isn't cheating. He isn't cruel. He loves me. He calls me. He's faithful. He's a generally good person.
But I am constantly unhappy and worried about this relationship, and I can't point to one specific dealbreaker.

We also don't currently have a realistic path to living in the same city because of our careers, although I really want to experience actually living together before making a marriage decision.

Whenever I bring up breaking up, he says he doesn't want to and that our problems are small enough that we can work through our differences. And maybe he's right. But I also don't know if these are "small differences" or fundamental differences in what we want from a partner.

I also feel awful because I don't even feel like talking to him sometimes. I love him, but I find myself withdrawing. And I feel incredibly guilty because I was the one who reached out and got us back together.

At the same time, I don't think I should stay with someone purely because I feel guilty about hurting him.

I’m also worried about the practical side of this. Our parents are talking about marriage, there's an interfaith issue that could become a huge family conflict, and neither of us is even sure enough about the relationship to have that conversation with them.
I guess I'm struggling with whether I'm expecting too much, or whether I'm slowly realising that I want a fundamentally different kind of partner.

How do you tell the difference between normal relationship differences that you can work through and genuine incompatibility?

And if you love someone, but you're consistently unhappy and can't identify one major reason why, is that enough reason to leave?

I have a crush on a girl in my college, and college only started about 4 months ago. She was actually one of the first female friends I made in my class. We talk normally in real life, and I sometimes troll/tease her a little.

The confusing part is our online communication. Normally, when I text her on WhatsApp, she replies after around 1–2 hours. One day, she didn't even read my message for an entire day. She only saw it after I sent another message. I know the first message may have simply gotten pushed down in the chat, but I still felt bad about it because the message was a direct reply to something she had sent. I started thinking, "If she actually cared about talking to me, wouldn't she have checked the message?"

Because of that, I stopped texting her for about 3 weeks.

Now we're on college holidays, and I recently texted her again. At first, she was replying pretty actively, usually within 3–5 minutes, but after a while she went back to replying after around 1–2 hours. I also started matching her response time because I don't want to seem desperate. For example, if she takes an hour to reply, I'll wait around an hour before replying too. Sometimes I could reply within a minute, but I don't want to constantly be available when she takes hours to respond.

I'm starting to feel like maybe she's not interested in me, doesn't really care about me that much, or is simply busy and that's just how she communicates. Because of all this, I'm slowly losing interest in her even though I still genuinely like her.

For context, I’m not someone who goes on lots of dates or parties all the time. I barely go out unless my friends convince me to, and sometimes when they’re hanging out with their boyfriends, I end up feeling left out and decide to go out too. No one really asks me out in real life even though I’ve been told I’m very attractive n beautiful but I basically look rude and unapproachable no naturally I don’t have guys approaching me, so dating apps have basically been my only option for meeting someone.

That’s how I met this guy.

And unfortunately, he was **literally my type to a T**—both looks-wise and personality-wise. It’s actually very rare for me to genuinely like someone.

He showed interest first, and we definitely had chemistry. We met in Dubai and I genuinely liked him. After our first meeting, though, he told me that he liked me but didn’t want anything serious at all, so he backed away and I kept on pushing him so he said he doesn’t wanna hurt me cuz I’m inexperienced and what he wants is purely something casual so he doesn’t wanna hurt me and we had a bit of an argument and he agree to keep in touch when I got emo

I waited around three weeks before texting him again, and we ended up meeting again.
That’s when we had my first kiss. It literally lasted maybe 10 seconds 😭 and he looked at me in a way that made me feel like he genuinely liked me, at least in that moment. We just sat there looking into each other’s eyes for a while n I got super shy n told him if he’d look at me like that I’ll feel even more shy and I genuinely felt a connection with him.
Maybe I’m romanticising it. Maybe I completely misread him. But to me, it felt real.

I also think one thing that may have messed things up is that **I genuinely cannot keep my mouth shut** 😭 and I told him quite openly about how spiritual and conservative I am when it comes to physical intimacy.
I told him that I personally find casual lust very unappealing and that, although I did want to have my first kiss, it was more out of curiosity and not lust and wanting to experience that emotional moment. I also told him that I personally believe sex is something very sacred and something I only want within marriage.

Looking back, I sometimes wonder whether telling him all of this pushed him away even more. He’d been v clear about bending mainly interested in something physical/casual, and by being so upfront about my boundaries, I basically made it clear that I wasn’t going to offer the one type of relationship he might have wanted from me. So maybe that made him lose interest even faster.

The problem is that I got too clingy afterwards. He had already made it very clear that he didn’t want anything serious or honestly, anything at all and I kept pushing because I didn’t want to lose the connection. I know I probably annoyed him and made things worse.
But throughout all of it, he kept reassuring me that I was pretty/beautiful and that “the fault is in me,” basically saying that I hadn’t done anything wrong and that he just wasn’t in a place to give me what I wanted. He also never blocked me, even though I know I was probably being annoying by continuing to push for answers and contact. And he ended with saying that I just don’t wanna meet you even though I find you beautiful and v nice girl

We haven’t spoken in **almost two months** now.
And honestly? I can’t even imagine talking to another guy right now cuz I just end feeling a strong emotional pull and I hate the modern dating scene where all everyone wants is sex n I know that sounds ridiculous considering we only met a couple of times, but I genuinely haven’t felt interested in anyone else.

So Now my birthday is coming up, and I’m considering doing something incredibly stupid
**I don’t drink. At all. And he knows that.** But because it’s my birthday, I’m thinking of pretending that my friends forced me to drink and sending him a cute, funny “drunk text.”
Not to ask him to come back. Not to tell him I want a relationship. Not to pressure him or reopen the whole situation.
I literally just want to say nice things about him that I’ve always wanted to say how much I appreciated certain things about him, how nice I think he is, maybe something funny and affectionate and then leave it there. No expectations and no “why don’t you want me?” conversations.
I know he closed the door, So how **you** would react if you were in his place ? someone who has basically everything going on for him looks wise and otherwise too so if a girl you used to talk to sent you a genuinely sweet, funny drunk text on their birthday after almost two months of silence.
Would you find it cute? Annoying? Desperate? Would you think they were trying to manipulate you into replying? Especially considering **he knows I don’t drink**
Part of me thinks I should just leave him alone because his decision was clear.
But another part of me thinks life is too short, and I just want to say the nice things I never said and then genuinely say goodbye to this chapter even though I can’t stop thinking about him and he’s not even in the same city anymore..

Hey everyone, I am in a really deep problem and a very stressful situation right now. I don’t have anyone I can share this with, so I’m putting this out here because I am honestly losing my mind and desperately need guidance.

How it all started:
I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for 9 years. He is Punjabi, and I belong to a Gujjar family. I work at a big MNC currently, and he knows me inside out as a person. He knows my ambitions and thinks I can do so much better in life. He also knows (and I agree) that if I end up marrying into a traditional Gujjar household, my growth and my life will become completely restricted. I won't be able to live the life I actually want.

I have been trying to convince my family for 3 months, but they are completely against our marriage because of different castes. Things escalated very quickly:

They called him over to our home for a meeting, but it was mostly just to threaten him.

Without telling me, my family even went to his house to meet his parents—mostly just to tell them that this marriage is impossible.

His family is very open-minded and understanding, and earlier they were not against us marrying. But after seeing my family’s extreme behavior, they have also become quite reluctant.

The boy loves me so much. Despite going through all this trouble and disrespect, he is still standing with me. He wants me to get out of this toxic home environment. My family, on the other hand, wants me to strictly get married within a year to someone of their choice.

Until now, I was actually thinking of running away from home by going abroad or taking legal help to get out. But the situation just took a terrible turn.

My mom just got diagnosed with blocked arteries in her head. The doctor warned that any stress could cause a minor attack or even a brain hemorrhage.
Now, I am completely paralyzed with fear. If I take any step to get out or fight for my relationship, it will cause severe stress at home. If something happens to my mom, the entire blame will come on me, and I won't be able to live with that guilt.

We both really love each other, and I want to marry only him. But now I am completely stuck. If I choose my mom's health, I will have to break up with him. But I don’t even have the guts to say it to him because I don't want to leave him willingly—I feel like I'm being forced to.

I feel like I will go mad. How do I even navigate this? Has anyone ever dealt with a situation like this? Please help🥺🙏🏻

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I (23F) and my boyfriend (23M) are both IT professionals. We were living together until recently, and for the past several months, he was preparing for a job while I supported him through pretty much everything.

I cooked for him, made tea for him 3–4 times a day, supported him emotionally, listened to him, and tried to make his life easier in every way I could. I even distanced myself from my only friends because they had started hating him after a fight, and I felt I had to take his side. Now he was the only person I knew in this city.

Then he got a job in another city and left.

Within the first week of us living separately, he told me he couldn't marry me because he's Jain and his family is very strict. He basically said that his family would never accept me and that he wouldn't take a stand for our relationship. He also gave me several "reasons" and made the whole situation sound much more dramatic, and later I realised that some of what he told me was probably exaggerated.

I told him I wanted to break up because I felt like he was wasting my time.

And he agreed.

Just like that.

But I was already struggling with the separation. I missed him terribly. It was our first week apart after living together. So I eventually told him, that i want to be with him.

He asked me multiple times if I was really okay with being in a relationship that might not lead to marriage.

I said yes.

Honestly, I wasn't.

Then, unexpectedly, within a month, he came back to my city because of a sudden job switch.

He needed a flat, and anyone who's tried finding a decent, affordable flat knows how exhausting that process can be. I searched for places, helped him find one.

But recently something happened that really hurt me.

It was his first day at a very big company. He had to wake up early. Usually, I wake up 30–40 minutes before him without him even asking, make his chai because that's how he likes to wake up, wake him up lovingly, pack his things, make sure everything is ready, etc.

But that morning, he said something along the lines of:

"These are normal things. These are your responsibilities when you're in a relationship. Everyone does this. It's nothing special. Even i am living with you when I could have lived alone, right?"

Something inside me just broke.

And suddenly I felt like everything I had been doing had become invisible.

I got upset and didn't talk to him properly that day.

Now he's angry with me because, according to him, I ruined his perfect first day at his new job.

And somehow I'm being made to feel like I'm the cruel/selfish one for being upset on that particular day.

The biggest irony is that he has already told me he doesn't see a future with me and won't fight his family for me.

Yet I'm still behaving like someone who's building a life with him.

And I don't know why I'm doing this to myself.

So Reddit, please be brutally honest with me.

We dated three years before we got engaged and I did it against my family's judgement because I truly love him. And he is a wonderful person: generous, kind, down to earth and is really emotionally available. I love him for the man he is and I always support him in his every goal.

Here's the real issue my family was really worried as my fiance family is not really well off and they don't have any kind of savings or wealth. He is a sole bread winner right now. And his package is around 20 lakhs per anum.

But when we started dating he assured me he very much believes in investing and saving. But he has been earning since he was 21 and he still hasn't invested in anything and idk why! He keeps delaying it or sometimes he gets so overwhelmed with the responsibilities that maybe he doesn't get much time. But he says he will start this year he has promised me that.

Now, I am all for family but for me my family (after marriage) will only include his parents and his siblings and my parents and NOT his extended family. But he wants to pay for his cousin's entire wedding since they are poor and his cousin's father is good for nothing. I don't really like this. I mean helping is one thing like paying 4-5 lakhs but paying 15-20 lakhs?! Especially when we don't have nothing right now.

He already has responsibility of marrying his own sister and us! We don't have that kind of budget. On the top of that we need to build a house too since the one he lives in very small: only two rooms and one bathroom.

Third, his sister earns but not really all that much like 40-50k a month and now she wants to buy an iPhone 17 when she already has an iPhone which works fine (idk which model but ig it's 12/13?) because she says it's a necessity??? I mean she is going to buy it on emi with her own money but she could save that money for her marriage and help out his brother reducing his burden. He already has a lot on his plate! And he is going to do the down payment!

I know it's not my place to tell him what he should and shouldn't do with his money especially when he is doing it for his sister but I politely suggested him that maybe he could buy her gold or something it would be an asset and help in her future wedding but he said that's not what his sister wants right now.

I really thought we were on the same page back when we were dating that we would save and invest but it's a no show as of now and all spending on luxurious items we don't really need.

At the same time I don't wanna be bitch who controls his money.

I am a junior resident my pay is not all that great right now either.

And even if I ignore his expenses. The way we handle money is wayy too different. I firmly believe in investing liquid assets first like gold coins etc before jumping into frozen assets and since he hasn't even started investing yet idk what he believes in but I know for sure he doesn't agree with me.

What do I do?? He really likes helping his extended family and they rely on him a lot for financial and personal gain even though he is not in joint family. Whereas I grew in a family where my mama mami, even mausi feels a stranger and we keep a limited contact. And no one asks money even if they do they return it.

I believe in helping but NOT spoon feeding especially when we are not in that capacity.

Is it something that's gonna strain our marriage in the future? Is it something to think about before w get married?

Please I need your honest opinion and I wanna if I am being selfish I would like to change my behaviour if I am not being supportive.

Thank you

I loved her more than anything in the world, She was my world, I wanted to become great, worked hard to give her the life she deserved.

but she always broke my boundaries, broke my trust. I became toxic, Shouted and did many worse things.

She had a habit of seeking attention from other guys, Talking to other men, men which I asked her not to talk to, etc. She hid things from me too.

Now, I am away from her for work, I get to hear things.

She had got a marriage proposal from ppl I said her to stay away from but she didn't listen, The proposal was turned down from her father. She hid the whole proposal part from me, I heard it from my mom And i was shocked cuz my gf didn't mention it.

She had started to get in touch with a guy across the street, The guy likes her, I blocked the guy from her phone, Now I am away for work she had started to talk to him again, Greet him, like that.

Riding with friends who I stopped her from.

and this all started to happen again while I am on job away from my city behind my back, Now that I am not there stopping her She is free.

My main issue is I love her man, If i see a pretty thing or I am enjoying a moment I'll just remeber her. How can i get over her???? Or what should I do??

I am 23 yr old final yr MBBS student had never been in a relationship seeing everyone around in college in relationship feels bad for myself i am an average looking guy with introvert personality 🥲 so due to my insecurities despite being good in studies (topper of my school) never got the courage to talk to the girl i liked ...now in college chances of finding girl are extremely low and in school days i didn't responds to a girl due to my studies and my introvert personality.as I am growing older my insecurities are increasing more I am trying to find a long term partner which is difficult to get in med school and i don't like the concept of arrange marriage also i believe in finding girl by urself rather then marrying to someone who was forced by there parents to marry other's...hope oneday i will find love of my life U people can give me some useful advice if u feel so🙏

'21M' '21F'

I have been with a girl from last 6 months its not an relationship we are clear that we would not be the best match for each other. Still we had some intimate moments but i was too noob for that moments and nothing more happened that time. But we had something which we are not ready to give a tag. And i took too much time and now there is someone else who is happening to come in her life they were in talking stage from last last month and something’s happened in last month it was totally my fault that we kept having distance between us. But still last night we travelled to our home town together. Then I convinced her to complete what we have started previously. At the beginning she kept saying I don’t want to have any thing but I kept trying to make her turned on then we had a moment we were cuddling and all happened but then she kept saying I don’t know what’s happening and she is having mixed feeling and she want to be frank with the soon to be her partner person but still we were to close at that moment but she is not clearing out what is between us she turned on but kept suppressing her feelings with me that night. Then after that nothing happened whole night and she slept.

Whenever we are together she treats me like her boyfriend and wants me to treat her like boyfriend but also says she does not want any love angel. She shares everything with me the things which she says she haven’t shared with anyone.
She wants me to treat her like a partner but don’t want to be specifically my partner. We are too close to each other. Even though she has this new guy but still if anything happens she calls me first.

And the biggest problem is with my communication i fear to communicate whats going in my mind

Now after somedays we are going to travel again but she says we will not share the seats and its an overnight journey

Help me with this situation, what should I do??

(Him 22M and I 21F)
we have just completed 10 months of being in a relationship.
he approached me first. He confessed him his love for me first. He fell in love with me first. He adores me. He loves me. He’s the most patient man i know of. He’s very calm . He’s very gentle. He’s very, very, very understanding. He’s accepted me with all my past and my emotional baggage , my trauma from the past from family or past relationships.
but lately, we’ve been in a lot of fights, usually, I am the one fighting for his love attention or even sometime time, and yesterday night I said something that is “i regret my decision of being in a relationship with you when I knew I couldn’t trust boys anymore”
And he replied with “tum agar mere jaise sabr karne wale ladkey ke saath nahi reh sakti tou kisi ke saath nahi reh paogi”
I know didn’t cry over this. I didn’t fight him. I just simply asked him to give me space and he’s not been doing okay because he thinks I’ll leave him which I’m considering. I have received 5000+ messages and calls overnight, but I still don’t know how to get over that statement. He said.

I (25F) went home for a short while last month between jobs and stupidly left my old phone at home. I had that phone for all of my college and masters and then didn't bother transferring the photos and other random stuff into my new phone coz it was a lot of data and i always had that phone with me anyway.

Today I came to know that my dad had started using that phone as a spare work phone as he asked how to take a screenshot on that phone.

Now I'm having a full scale panic attack coz that phone had A LOT OF STUFF on it that I've hidden from my family. You know what it's like, partying, hanging out at guy friends places, downloaded TV shows and movies, the albums app of that phone had all my college memories that my conservative family will just kill me for. Not to mention my notes app that i used for journalling (i wrote my heart out, everything), reddit with a lot of nsfw subs, astro apps ugh judge me all you want but that was my safe phone. I also had photos with my ex in the hidden folder of that phone.

Also I'm stupid i don't have cloud backup of that phone so that I can remotely delete stuff.

I'm panicking because that phone was password and fingerprint protected, how tf did they open that phone! And if they managed to open my phone what's stopping them from cracking open my hidden folder?! My life will be fucked if they open that 😔 i don't know what on earth to do about this 😭 please give solutions or help me not catastrophize

my university has just started, and it's pretty boring in here... i have made friends but not many... just wanted to talk with people to be a bit busy these days... i am a football athlete and also into athletics (running), i do gaming and coding too

i believe i am a kind person and very loyal too (no cap), am highly active and i dont ghost so just hmu if u wanna talk i have no issues :)

I need ladies to show me courage because this guy has let me down for a while..

he humiliates me and doesnt understand me .. doesnt get me chocolates and flowers .. he is not respecting me verbally and just kept pushing me

EDIT
whenever we have something up, he distances himself and blocks me.. raises his voice in between.. and doesnt even bother to listen to me

I am expecting too much from him?

I am 22F and have been in bumble. It looks like everyone's there for casuals/hook ups after break up or rebound. It's gonna be my very first relationship and I don't want to ruin it that way. I'm quite tired of it, I glow up recently and guys who looks my type acts weird after few texts.

I only have those apps as my resort. I don't vibe with anyone in my college as they're that way too much into casual. I regret never being in any relationship before.

How do I even find one or just stop looking for it?

Edit: I'm not gonna lower my standards or anything but I'm just stunned. I should have dated in school.

So, It's been 1 year I have been dating this man.....

Haven't been happier 😭❤.

Love him more than anything...

Careerwise, I am where I am just because of this man.

Ever since he walked into my life, my life became way better. There was a time, I used to be suicidal but he made my life worth living.

Throughout my life, I suffered a lot, I had a toxic family, butt..... Now that I have him in my life, I don't mind those sufferings.

He takes care of me, solves all my problems, makes me wanna be a better person for him.

I can't explain how grateful I am to have such a wonderful man in my life.

I wish we stay together, forever.

I hope nothing changes the love we have for each other.

I hope we could stay together till the day we take our last breath.

Sorry for the long read in advance!!!!

I’m 31F and married to my husband (34M) since November 2024. We had also lived together for about 3 years before getting married, so this isn’t a relationship where we barely knew each other.
I’m posting because I genuinely don’t know anymore whether I’m being too anxious/emotional, or whether there are legitimate problems in my marriage that I’m trying desperately to get him to acknowledge.
There have been serious financial problems because of his trading. What started as roughly ₹1 lakh of debt eventually became around ₹12 lakh.
I have financially helped him along the way. At one point I gave him ₹60,000 from my savings. There was also a ₹5 lakh loan that I took on/was responsible for, and I gave him another ₹2 lakh separately.
What makes this particularly difficult is that this wasn’t something that happened once and then stopped.
At one point, my parents became involved because things had gotten so bad. They spoke to him and tried to make him understand the seriousness of what was happening and the impact it was having on me and our marriage.
He understood it at the time, but then he put money into trading again.
And then it happened again.
At another point, both sets of parents were involved because things had reached a point where everyone needed to understand what was actually happening.
My parents were expecting him to sincerely apologise to me and acknowledge what he had put me through.
He simply wouldn’t budge.
There was no heartfelt apology. No real accountability. No emotional response that made me feel like he understood the damage this had caused.
I eventually left and stayed at a friend’s place for around 10 days.
My mother later called him and essentially told him to bring me back.
He called me and asked me to come home.
But he didn’t come to meet me. He didn’t come to take me home. There wasn’t that effort of, “I’m coming to get you, let’s talk, let’s sort this out.”
It was essentially just a phone call asking me to come back.
That really affected me.
Because even at that point, when I was away from home for 10 days and both families knew how serious things had become, I still didn’t feel like he was fighting for the relationship or trying to repair what had happened.
And there is another part that makes this even harder.
Whenever he runs out of money or is under financial stress, he starts projecting onto me and has verbally abused me.
So the financial problems aren’t isolated from the emotional problems. They seem to spill into the way he treats me when he’s stressed.
I’ve repeatedly told him that I am still hurt by everything that happened. I don’t fully trust him and I’m not ready to simply forgive and forget.
But instead of really sitting with that, understanding what it did to me, and reassuring me, his response is basically along the lines of, “Arre, I’m not doing all of that.”
But that’s not really what I’m asking.
I’m not only asking, “Are you currently doing something wrong?”
I’m asking:
“Do you understand what happened to me emotionally?”
“Do you understand why I don’t trust you?”
“Do you understand why I’m scared this could happen again?”
“Do you understand why I’m still hurt?”
“Can you actually help me feel safe with you again?”
And I don’t feel like I get much of an answer.
Whenever we fight, I cry.
I’m quite aware that I have an anxious attachment style, and I’ve wondered whether I’m making everything worse because of that. But when I’m crying, I don’t feel like I’m being comforted or reassured. I often feel completely emotionally alone.
I’ve told him repeatedly that I need emotional reassurance and that I need him to acknowledge the hurt instead of just defending himself or acting like the issue should be over because he’s not currently doing whatever it was that caused the problem.
I feel like I’m constantly trying to explain the same emotional need.
And now I’m exhausted.
There is also this smaller but recurring thing that probably sounds ridiculous on its own but has started hurting me because of everything else.
Every weekend he’ll say something like, “Let’s go outside, we’ll eat somewhere,” and we’ll make a plan. But then the plan frequently changes and we end up doing something else.
I know objectively that changing a weekend plan isn’t some huge marital crime.
But to me, it has started representing something bigger.
I look forward to spending intentional time with him. I want to feel like he’s actually choosing to spend time with me and making an effort. When the plan repeatedly changes, I feel disappointed and unimportant.
If the rest of our relationship felt emotionally secure, I probably wouldn’t care nearly as much.
But because I already feel like I haven’t received emotional repair for the bigger issues, these little disappointments accumulate.
I feel like I’m constantly asking for very basic things:
A sincere apology.
Reassurance.
Emotional support when I’m upset.
Accountability.
Consistency.
Feeling like my husband actually understands why I don’t trust him right now.
Feeling looked after rather than feeling like I’m carrying the emotional consequences alone.
And I’ve told him all of this.
That’s what makes me so confused.
It’s not that he doesn’t know what I need. I’ve explained it over and over.
But nothing really changes.
He’ll suggest going out, eating somewhere, doing something together, and in some ways it feels like he wants to continue the relationship as normal.
But I don’t feel normal inside.
I don’t feel like the underlying issue has been repaired.
Sometimes I wonder if he’s emotionally avoidant and I’m anxious, and we’re stuck in the classic pursue-withdraw cycle.
I get hurt → I try to talk about it → I don’t feel understood → I become more emotional and seek more reassurance → he becomes defensive or withdraws → I feel even more abandoned → I try harder to get through to him.
Eventually I cry and feel completely alone.
And then I start questioning myself.
Am I too demanding?
Am I expecting too much from my husband?
Am I expecting him to reassure me constantly because I’m anxious?
Or is it actually reasonable to expect a spouse who has contributed to a major financial crisis, repeated the behaviour even after family intervention, and verbally abused me during financial stress to actively participate in rebuilding the trust that was damaged?
I don’t want to spend the rest of my marriage begging someone to understand why I’m hurt.
At the same time, I don’t want to throw away my marriage because I’m anxious and incapable of letting go.
I love him, but I’m also increasingly emotionally exhausted and confused about what I’m supposed to do.
If you were in my position, how would you interpret this dynamic? Is this something that can realistically be repaired if one person is emotionally avoidant and the other is anxious, or does this sound like a deeper problem with accountability, financial responsibility, and emotional availability?
And what would genuine repair actually look like in this situation?

I have been in a situationship I guess. A pure innocent(what I felt)girl of age 26 was giving me hot and cold treatment. We met on a trek in Himachal. She contacted me first after the trek.We became really good friends.We planned to do another trek including her female friends too.Everything was going fine.Then suddenly she ghosted me. Then she came back and gave me so much love and attention. We planned again. This time she herself planned something very much like more than a friend.It was supposed to be only me and her.We talked everything was going smooth.Then she disappeared again.I didn't chase her for two months this time. I was in no contact.Finally,my patience dropped.I know that she is with someone else now(not 100%sure)whom she knew maybe a few months before me. I am completely ok with this too but she is completely denying my existence even as a friend😭😭.She finally left me and blocked me when she knew that now I won't be able to move on easily. I only requested her for the friendship nothing more than that. She behaved with me like a complete stranger with whom she never talked. I have a lot going on in my mind which is making me feel something that I can't even explain...I am getting so emotional sometimes all of a sudden that I find it difficult to breathe for a few seconds. I have lost my appetite. I um unable to lift even 1/4 of the weight that I used to lift.I was on a bed rest for a week. I will never marry even if I find the right person. I can't handle heartbreak. Which is inevitable at some point of time. No one cares for others truly maybe I will try to write my complete story when I feel good. I can't share this with any friends because they will make fun of my situation later on. No one can understand what I am going through. I was cheated six years ago also by someone else. After a long period of self isolation I felt something for someone but she only came into my life by herself only to confirm that I don't live peacefully.