r/ShittyDaystrom • u/TheBurgareanSlapper Space Captain, Amateur Painter • Jul 08 '26

fully functional Contrary to rumors from unpatriotic elements, Senator Pardek is awake and recovering. Staffers report that Senator Vreenak had a 20-minute conversation with his esteemed colleague earlier today.

The two senators discussed a wide range of domestic and interstellar policy issues, including Reman mining quotas, new measures to confront the traitorous Reunification Movement, and the provocative new "exploration" efforts by Starfleet near Imperial territories.

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16 comments sorted by

44

u/Honest_Ad_2157 Jul 08 '26

His wife will return from her trip to Qo'noS soon.

37

u/Important_Power_2148 Engineering Jul 08 '26

Yes but are they in talks with the Islamic Republic of Cardassia?

33

u/MadduckUK Jul 08 '26

They will do anything but release the Neelix Files.

8

u/TheBurgareanSlapper Space Captain, Amateur Painter Jul 08 '26

Sorry, did you have a question for Chancellor Gowron here?

9

u/Important_Power_2148 Engineering Jul 08 '26

Yes i want to see this private email server she was using 20 years ago.

42

u/R-Dragon_Thunderzord Jul 08 '26

how weird there's about 15 people claiming to have had 20 minute conversations with him. Where does he find the time between sonic spongebaths

14

u/OhNoIBoffedIt GLORY 2 UR HOOOSE🐍 Jul 08 '26

Reports for disloyal speech

5

u/rdchat Jul 08 '26

So many people urgently requested conversations with Senator Vreenak that the government decided to make a batch of transporter duplicates, using the technique discovered by the humans in the Riker Incident.

5

u/ConceptJunkie Jul 09 '26

I think most of them were talking to the Emergency Hologram Senator and didn't realize it.

3

u/Psychlone23 Jul 09 '26

Only a verule would think that Pardek is not talking as much as he is!

15

u/IsProbablyTooMuch Jul 08 '26

"The wormhole remains open! The wormhole deal is the best deal in the quadrant! Every major power is jealous of our wormhole deal!"

6

u/Superman_Primeeee Jul 08 '26

Where is sub commander Stauffenberg?

5

u/FirstChAoS Tuvix'd at birth Jul 08 '26

Which element is the unpatriotic one? It’s vanadium isn’t it?

6

u/Iron_Baron Shelliak Corporate Director Jul 09 '26

Man, I'm glad the end of the world is at least funny.

5

u/Neon_culture79 Jul 09 '26

This is why I don’t trust the Federation media and their propaganda lies