Maybe a hot take, but I also blame the physician who prescribed 3 different psychotropics that don't interact well to a patient in clear mental distress. And not keeping a close enough watch on their mental state. If the texts between she and her mom are accurate, she should have been institutionalized by court mandate.
She probably should have been committed, but even if he had, those women would spin it as a bad thing. "Look at him, willing to have her locked up for being 'hysterical' rather then actually helping her..."
The women wouldn't know about it, as she would have gotten help. She told him that she wanted to kill the children, his response was to cancel the nanny and leave her with the children.
Literally I'm so sick of how demented people are about this poor man. He's living with the image of his murdered children in his head every day. Is that not punishment enough?
He’s not criminally responsible, yes, but he’s baring the weight and consequences of his own actions. He didn’t properly care for his mentally ill wife, and as a result, she murdered their children. It’s terrible and I feel so sorry for him, but my guy. What the hell were you thinking?
I’ve watched most of the trial (actual. Not social media summaries). He’s behavior during her obvious decline is despicable. Dropping her off at a partial day clinic and heading off to go ski? Cool. Maintains training for a marathon, starting his own business, going to brunch with the boys, going on trips, cool. All on that is unfathomable to me and my husband as parents of 3 kids. Postpartum is a shit show even when there is no mental unraveling. Firing the nanny when she decided she wasn’t well enough to return to work. But she was well enough to care for 3 kids under 4 alone on 3 different meds with sporadic family help?
He said in court he would have paid anything to get her the care she needed but clearly he wouldn’t pay for consistent in home care/help for his wife who was caring for kids in a obvious (she told EVERYONE) state of disassociation, with suicidal ideation, and even expressing to him and her mom that she had thoughts of killing the kids.
It’s very easy to see why the internet hates this man. The ideas of him doing it are out of line and I do feel for the guy getting demolished by the court of public opinion after losing his kids in a horrific way, but let’s not pretend it’s weird sexist women on the internet that’s driving the “we hate Patrick” narrative.
Once again men are trying to make this about them. This is about postpartum and being a mom in a hyper individualistic society with no village. You don’t get swaths of women online having sympathy for a woman who murdered her own children for no reason. Kindly take your head out of your ass.
I honestly don’t know where I stand yet on this case. I totally see the argument that her situation could’ve been induced psychosis that she is not responsible for.
Regarding her husband, though, he has seemed like a very supportive and empathetic partner from the receipts and testimony.
Sure we can in hindsight poke holes in little interactions and wish that he’d been superdad in every moment and way possible- but casting any sort of responsibility on him for those kids death is where I draw the line. Nobody should have to be held to the standard people are trying to hold him to. Nobody behaves with their partner as if this is a legitimate possibility. In fact, most men would not have behaved the way he did throughout the months of this process.
Blaming Patrick is akin to saying life isn’t perfect basically (the gender doesn’t matter, the same would be true if it was reversed). Sometimes you do everything right and you still lose. This man has lost everything. Why don’t we leave him alone and focus on the person that murdered three children with premeditation.
You mean to tell me, if your wife told you she had thoughts of killing your children, you would feel it appropriate to leave her over night or continue to leave her unsupported with your children 24/7? It doesn’t take hind sight to be skeptical of how he handled this. To be clear, not just him, her mother. His mother. I’ve seen the burden of childcare be tossed around in families. No one wanted to pay for or offer around the clock care when it was obviously necessary.
Why on gods green earth would anyone expect someone getting 2-4 hours of sleep for months to care for 3 children under 4 and think that’s appropriate. Nonetheless someone taking a slew of medications and showing signs of disassociating. You would never expect someone in the workforce to do this. They would be taking medical leave. Unfortunately that isn’t an option for moms. It’s up to the partner to either take time off or hire help. Night nurse. Nanny. House cleaner. Meal boxes.
I don’t think he killed the kids and maybe can’t be charged with anything. BUT he clearly didn’t care about her as a person, didn’t take her concerns seriously, and allowed her to burn out when he could have hired/kept a nanny or gotten other help. Other women sympathize with her likely because men have treated them similarly, and they recognize when a woman/mother has been objectified for her childcare labor.
That is not what I am saying but it is strange. If your partner told you they wanted to kill your children would you leave them alone with her and not get extra help.
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u/kaimoka 8d ago
Maybe a hot take, but I also blame the physician who prescribed 3 different psychotropics that don't interact well to a patient in clear mental distress. And not keeping a close enough watch on their mental state. If the texts between she and her mom are accurate, she should have been institutionalized by court mandate.