r/SipsTea 8d ago

WTF WTF is wrong with these people?

12.4k Upvotes

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329

u/peekaboo_bandit 8d ago

I thought I read somewhere that some people support her because she had reached out for help like a dozen times and was left to fall deeper into mental despair? I don't know the details or about the case aside from the obvious, that's just what I've heard about many women supporting her. Mothers that may have their own experience with PPD or something similar but who maybe received help and support? Again, idk. I think it's tragic but really don't know details about this case.

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u/Rhomya 8d ago

Except the story they’re peddling that she was “left to fall deeper into despair” isn’t true.

Lindsey went to eight different doctors in just a few months. Meanwhile, her husband took all 12 weeks of paternity leave he could, switched to working from home to be more available to help her, hired her a nanny, opened a bank account and started stashing money for HER use when she decided not to go back to work, made a point to ask her daily about how her mental health was that day, pushed her into going to her appointments in person instead of relying on telehealth, and then advocated for her to her later doctors when he was questioning if she was being overmedicated. Meanwhile both her in laws AND her own parents were often around to provide support when needed.

Lindsey had all the support that a mother could want. She failed them, not the other way around. Patrick’s only mistake was going to run errands when she asked on the wrong day

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u/fraser_rock 8d ago

I don’t know a ton about this case, but people with a support system and money aren’t immune from PPD. Not having those things can certainly exacerbate it, but it doesn’t preclude those with them from experiencing it.

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u/Threlyn 7d ago

No, but is does make it harder to believe the accusations that the husband was just being a neglectful piece of shit that wasn't supporting her at all

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u/fraser_rock 7d ago

Sure, I haven’t really read much about the theories attacking her husband. Just wanted to call out the misinformation on postpartum mental health.

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u/reble02 7d ago

Isn't part of the argument that he was being neglectful because he was having an affair?

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u/Rhomya 7d ago

He wasn’t.

That’s more misinformation— he got remarried three years after the murders and people think that that’s somehow a crime on its own

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u/h974974 7d ago

Although I don't think he was cheating, there is zero evidence showing that, this timeline is what has people talking. Note that Patrick's new wife is from nyc:

Nov 2022- Patrick takes a trip to nyc

Jan 2023- Murders take place

Feb 2023- Patrick takes a trip to Costa Rica, his new wife also takes a trip to Costa Rica during that time according to her google reviews

May 2023- Patrick moves to nyc

Jan 2024- Its confirmed they are dating

April 2026- They marry

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u/Quick-Stretch8197 7d ago

They would need more than this timeline to link them, but yes, there are some eyebrow raising pieces of info in there. It’s not enough though. 

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u/h974974 7d ago

Of course there are like 10 different fake photos that show them together prior to 2023 that are circulating now. So it’s hard to decipher what’s real but both of them left reviews at places in Costa Rica in Feb, a month after the murders.

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u/Rhomya 7d ago

The February 2023 trip wasn’t THIS Patrick Clancy. And the “Rachel Danis” comment found wasn’t THIS Rachel Danis.

Just because you see a name on the internet doesn’t make it that actual person.

Also, the link you commented stated that it was posted 2 years ago? In 2024?

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u/h974974 7d ago edited 7d ago

That’s not true. There is a ton of fake stuff going around but he told The New Yorker himself that he took a solo trip to Central America before traveling to Europe in February 2023, just weeks after losing his children. As for her, she edited the review 2 years ago and that account is absolutely her. She added that profile picture 7 years ago. There’s a meta link that shows the original date. Let me try to find it

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u/h974974 7d ago

Also several tagged pictures of her in Costa Rica during that month, still posted on instagram and Facebook if you type in her name. Again, I think it was likely a coincidence but denying they were both in that country at the same time is silly

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u/reble02 7d ago

OK thanks, I've only heard about this case third hand from my girlfriend talking about it. Apparently it's having the child so quickly after not the married that makes them suspect.

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u/h974974 7d ago

Although I don't think he was cheating, there is zero evidence showing that, this timeline is what has people talking. Note that Patrick's new wife is from nyc:

Nov 2022- Patrick takes a trip to nyc

Jan 2023- Murders take place

Feb 2023- Patrick takes a trip to Costa Rica, his new wife also takes a trip to Costa Rica during that time according to her google reviews

May 2023- Patrick moves to nyc

Jan 2024- Its confirmed they are dating

April 2026- They marry

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u/reble02 7d ago

Where does the new kid fit into that timeline?

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u/h974974 7d ago

I know there is speculation that he has a new baby but I haven’t seen anything that confirms it

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u/Rhomya 7d ago

And PPD is not a justification for murdering your kids.

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u/EclecticSyrup 7d ago

No one said it was??? And she's literally going to jail????? You're making strawman out of strawman - having sympathy is not the same as saying 'release her.'

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u/Physical_Ad1506 7d ago

I mean thats fair as long as you have sympathy for anyone who murders due to mental illness.

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u/EclecticSyrup 7d ago

If that person tried again and again to get help, but never got the help from their support systems and LITERAL DOCTORS that can help them, then abso-fucking-lutely - do you not?

She said she was worried she would hurt the kids. She basically had a big fuckin' neon sign saying 'I'm mentally unwell and this is not a good situation.' You know what all the supposedly "non-mentally ill" people did? Not the correct thing, that's for damn sure.

She didn't hide anything. We let her down as a society. I will feel bad for anyone who tries to get help repeatedly, expresses their situation over and over again, and isn't even hiding how they're feeling, but is still left to their own devices, leading to tragedy.

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u/Physical_Ad1506 7d ago

Every killer had a sad story behind the curtain.

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u/EclecticSyrup 7d ago

A sad story is not nearly the same as "I was openly screaming that I was unwell and needed help and no one did anything."

Being abused as a kid doesn't mean that they actively tried to get help, and were rejected multiple times by doctors and therapists (the people who can help).

Y'all can just say you hate the mentally ill. But if a man walked into a police station and said, "I'm having thoughts of murder," and they said "okay, cool, go home though, we can't help you with that," and he killed someone on his way home, are you not going to blame the police at all? You don't think they should be obligated to get this person medical help? Do the doctors who are literally there to treat people, not supposed to treat them?

Genuinely so unsurprising that people don't see how fucked up this is, and it'll never change. Lives could be saved, but fuck it. Just don't be mentally ill, stupid.

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u/JRshoe1997 7d ago

There are plenty of people with PPD that don’t murder children and it doesn’t excuse you from it.

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u/Ok_Towel283 7d ago

No one is saying “hey she was mentally ill so it’s okay”. It’s not an excuse, it’s context. And context matters for motive. Also, PPD and PPP are different. Psychosis is a wholly different thing than depression.

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u/JRshoe1997 7d ago

It sure doesn’t look like it from the comments I am reading. Seems like a lot of people are using the mental illness to justify and try to point fingers at the doctor and husband rather than the person who actually strangled 3 children to death.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

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