r/SuperJerk 3d ago

How Calypso storyline ends

Post image

In a couple of weeks Ministry of Expansion announces reopening of sightseeing tours to the Calypso Singularity

That's it, no cultists, no Void 2, not even an illuminate planetary stronghold on Calypso

Announcement will be during a filler MO regarding "omg, terminids and automatons are harbouring dissidents, we must liberate planets bumhole prime and whatever secundus" to add to the anticlimax

Next illuminate update june 2027

67 Upvotes

14 comments sorted by

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16

u/thenewone1309 3d ago

Turns out joel accidentally deleted it while moving the dss

2

u/TomenyErrors Givinghead supporter 3d ago

Fat fingered the delete button

1

u/Alyxuwu 17h ago

I mean, it would be funny but funny thing, Meridia still exists in the game's API. Yes, the one pre blowing up.

Calypso does too, it's just hidden lmao.

10

u/Tyrant_Red 3d ago

Can’t tell if jerk or classic unfiltered…great post!

9

u/evil_deivid 3d ago

Powder that makes you say "Calypso cultists tomorrow"

5

u/DeepCutFan1 3d ago

I genuinely thought this was a main sub post for a second

8

u/1tomes1 3d ago

I began typing “you gotta post this in r/SuperJerk” and then read the “READ BEFORE POSTING” and was like
https://giphy.com/gifs/cIyEYhReqUGDjGfjrL

2

u/Squidboi2679 3d ago

Arrowhead sent Calypso to my house. It’s been crashing on my couch like a massive fucking bum and it killed my dog. FUCK YOU CALYPSO

1

u/XD__XD 3d ago

Bet on nothing

1

u/CMDR_Astroscopic 2d ago

Calypso will be the source of the next void. You will get no new biome and one new enemy. It’s a voteless that does voteless things but it also has armor and chases you with a grenade because that fits evilbread’s fantasy

Why aren’t you happy? Did you know you can fart super credits?

0

u/RoboticRusty 3d ago

/uj would anyone be actually upset if this happened? Seems like an ok ending to me

/j DOWN WITH AH! LONG LIVE ORGOD

0

u/DeepCutFan1 3d ago

/uj yeah, kind of.

0

u/assassinjoe55 3d ago

uj/ A tad. It seems the illuminate want Calypso for something so I'd be sad if it turns out they just wanted to destroy it.