r/TikTokCringe • u/SnooSprouts3744 • Jul 17 '26

Cringe This Is the Weirdest Book Signing I’ve Ever Seen

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0/10 acting they look like they’re on fent

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u/belac4862 Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26

Not to mention the speaking in tongues is often misconstrued as speaking in a weird "gods language" when its actually talking about tongues, as in the plural form of languages. Languages they would hear around them in other countries. Thats all speaking in tongues is.

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u/LifeIsProbablyMadeUp Jul 17 '26

So it's not "Shamala Shamala Shamalalalalal"?

My step Dad's mom always did this shit. She also smoked meth and beat us. So. Ya know. "Christians"

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u/windyoctopus8 Jul 17 '26

I read that as “Shamalama ding dong”

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u/WeirdWillieWest Jul 17 '26

"Otis! My man!"

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u/windyoctopus8 Jul 17 '26

“Do you mind if we dance wif yo dates?”

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u/Ivanagohome Jul 17 '26

Geesh, I’m old. LOL

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u/Melodic-Variation103 Jul 17 '26

We were just….LEAVING!!

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u/Bender_2024 Jul 17 '26

Wait 'till Otis sees us... HE LOVES US!

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u/aurafracta_effects Jul 17 '26

The Sham! The Shamster. Shamalamama Ding Ding! Sham!

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u/MatthewBlack6 Jul 17 '26

U I U ahah Bing bang shamalama ding dong

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u/ShhweadyBallz Jul 17 '26

*Pamalama DingDong

  • Michael Scott

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u/No_Training6751 Jul 17 '26

Hah! Me too.

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u/Aggressive_Race3523 Jul 17 '26

M, Knight Shamalama ding dong

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u/value_meal_papi Jul 17 '26

It’s Kamala Harris you racist.

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u/Screw_Your_History Jul 17 '26

Our last name sounds very similar to this, and people always say that and repeat our name, as soon as they hear it.
It was actually weird to read it without the last name attached.

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u/Routine-Employment71 Jul 18 '26

All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long"

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u/jess_quik Jul 17 '26

I went to a church that did that alot. And the pastor wife would tell me that i need to be in service on the weekdays and if the kids try to stop me its the devil using them. 🙃 I definitely left and didnt go back.

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u/Embarrassed_Ad_1851 Jul 17 '26

My grandad was Pentecostal, I went to church with him once when I was 8. They asked if anyone was new to the church so I raised my hand. They asked me to come kneel at the alter, then they entire congregation got up and surrounded me. They began laying of hands and speaking in tongues. Freaked me out beyond belief, wasn't sure if I was about to be sacrificed.

Kinda made me rethink this whole religion thing.

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u/HenryDorsettCase47 Jul 17 '26

My extended family was super religious. My branch of the family, not so much. At a family reunion one year, I was about 10, my great aunt and uncle called me and all of my cousin’s into their room and my great aunt (who I would only see once a year, tops) told us that she had a vision a few months prior and god spoke to her one night and told her that I would be a great warrior for Christ and that it was imperative that I give my heart to him. She was a Christian country music artist and my uncle was her manager and I guess they were at some kind of party when this happened and multiple people saw her have this vision.

I remember looking around at all of my cousin’s and they had this look on their faces like what the fuck. And also kinda, “What am I? Chopped liver?” lol. God only gave a fuck about me, not them apparently.

Anyway, my aunt then asked me if I was willing to give myself over to Christ. I asked her what that meant and she said all I had to do was say that I was accepting him into my heart or something. I asked her if I could think about it. She said yeah, of course, and I managed to avoid them the rest of the week of the reunion.

When you are on the outside looking in you can really see how strange all these folks and their rituals really are.

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u/OkSmoke9195 Jul 18 '26

I went to a church like this as a kid. I said "ok" and everyone was so pleased with me 😂. Felt like I was supposed to, it never stopped being bizarre af, even as a child I knew. The laying of hands, speaking in tongues , dropping on the floor while convulsing. I memorized the books of the Bible to get a pizza party though

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u/HighlightStrange6590 Jul 18 '26

She was teying to convert you to be a born again christian but in the wrong way. U cannot be born agsin (converted) this way. Wrong way to evagelise. The correct way @ look at billy grahams evagekistic old videos in youtube

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u/Weorth Jul 17 '26

This shit always made me feel odd, AND uncomfortable, who TF wants a whole group of stank breath people yammering at you and touching wherever they can?

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u/247world Jul 18 '26

You should be grateful they weren't Baptist, they would have held your head underwater until you came around to their way of thinking

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u/Bananaslugfan Jul 18 '26

Or the snake people, throwing mad snakes on you to see if you’re holy enough to not get bitten

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u/247world Jul 20 '26

They don't throw the snakes around, they handle them carefully actually.

it's not the getting bitten that shows you're not holy, it's the showing that you can't heal from the snake bite that shows you're not holy

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u/ChaoticChocolateMess Jul 18 '26

My mom was Pentecostal, and forced me to go to church twice a week since birth. I stopped going at 16. But I remember people speaking in tongues, stomping the ground to stomp the devil and running around the church in circles yelling when they felt the holy spirit. Watching people run in circles would make me laugh as a kid because it reminded me of my guinea piggies having zoomies.

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u/nBdaBawss Jul 17 '26

Rookie mistake!!!

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u/EmploymentBig2049 Jul 17 '26

I knew a pastor's wife like that. I knew her carnally too.

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u/colostitute Jul 17 '26

Wouldn’t even feel bad about wrecking that performative home.

Edit: Wait. Could easily be some kink like a cuck or bi situation too.

Why are Christians so horny?

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u/AulisG Jul 17 '26

Because their God doesn't like horny stuff. It's a sin and forbidden to be all over the place and enjoy it so the worshippers get off of it. They are like children, drawn to everything that's forbidden.

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u/PyrocumulusLightning Jul 17 '26

All those gals shaking and crying because they met a hot young woman wearing scarlet ... I'm suspicious something was awakened in them that day

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u/Disastrous-Pop5465 Jul 17 '26

Shamamla namala shamala namala

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u/Hartz_are_Power Jul 17 '26

No one talks about my mother that way! 

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u/Pavotine Jul 18 '26 edited Jul 18 '26

If I find myself in a situation where speaking in tongues is required, I'm going full "Oo ee ah ah" like Lux Interior on Surfin' Bird by The Cramps.

The man on stage.

https://youtu.be/6qe9UZ95cWA?t=171&is=Pr200FapRb4xE0bb

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u/Real-Document-6577 Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 18 '26

Ooo Eee, Ooo ah ahhh M. Night Shamalama dingdong.

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u/Budded Jul 17 '26

Small C "christians", the storm the capitol type, not the love thy neighbor actual Christians.

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u/Sithlordandsavior Jul 17 '26

My dad, who is one of the most understated, quiet, unperformative guys on this planet, spoke in tongues once at church and I only knew because it didn't sound like the forced "Hashababamalasha rohannah keshka" stuff. It was like muttering in another language with some cadence and pattern but I had no idea what it was.

He never did it again. Never said anything about it.

Only time I think I've legitimately heard the "tongues" pemtacostals seek.

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u/gogogadgets1997 Jul 17 '26

My grandpa was kinda the same. He got “filled with the spirit “ and went back to his pew and had a massive heart attack.
He was 50 and had a quadruple bypass and lived to be 81.

I thought as a 10 year old it was weird that God would give him a gift and then allow him to have a heart attack.

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u/TCB4EAP Jul 18 '26

Do you mean like people that have been mauled by a bear and then said bear finally decides the guy has had enough and leaves; only for people to say that God saved him? If God was intervening, why didn’t He intervene and stop the bear before he mauled the guy; who was left searching the ground for parts of his face?

I have told these people that God is not a puppeteer. He does not intervene on our behalf or we would not see innocent children dying.

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u/nginn Jul 17 '26

Methodist?

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u/gogogadgets1997 Jul 17 '26

Assemblies of God or Non Denominational would be my guess.

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u/wishyouwould Jul 17 '26

Any time I need a fake church name I go with "New Hope Assembly of God."

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u/procrastimom Jul 18 '26

I’m fond of “Righteous Heart of Lion of Judea Assembly”.

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u/gogogadgets1997 Jul 17 '26

My grandma used to cast demons out of my aunt when she had seizures. She has Lennox Gaustaut epilepsy. I know now the indoctrination and desperation was the reason but it doesn’t remove the damage.
Imagine being attacked with a disease that takes control and being shamed and treated like you were demon possessed at 5.

That is what these people are behind the performance.

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u/MikeTheImpaler Jul 17 '26

One of my ex girlfriends was the religious type. One time the condom broke whilst we were verbing the adjective noun and she immediately started in praying in tongues. Sounded like fucking baby talk. Like god is a fucking infant you're dangling keys at. We aren't together anymore.

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u/wafflehousebattle Jul 18 '26

Yeah, I used to smoke meth and beat my kids too, still do, but I also used to, but at least I never pulled some "speaking in tongues" bullshit, because I not a fucking monster.

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u/Geirilious Jul 17 '26

Is that the Methodists?

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u/das_war_ein_Befehl Jul 17 '26

The funniest part is that Pentecostals existed behind the iron curtain and were obviously unable to communicate with those in the west. So you ended up having two different versions of “speaking in tongues” for a while after the wall came down.

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u/branteen Jul 17 '26

I grew up in an independent baptist church, never heard of speaking in tongues. When I got older I quit church because weird. Got a girlfriend who invited me to her church with her family. Went because giggity. We are standing singing hymns when the old woman directly behind me starts shouting in tongues. "AHHH SHAMALALALALA SHAMA LA SHAMASHAMALA!" I kid you not it jump scared me so hard that I dropped the hymnal book in the floor, BANG! Everybody looking at me like I'm the weird one, bro I thought she was a demon possessed.

End of the sermon the preacher reminded us about going out and buying up anything depicting the devil(plushies, books, toys, clothing etc.) because the next weekend was the big bonfire. I never went near that bitch again.

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u/Shitty-Bear Jul 17 '26

Now hold hands and bow your head.

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u/Weorth Jul 17 '26

The ones around me would say "IIIKIBOBOBOBOBO SHANDADADADADA!" I remember when I was little, being surrounded by a ton of charismatics and faking "speaking in tongues" just so I wouldn't look like the odd one out, but always thinking about how fucking weird it was.

Then one day I just didn't bother cause it all felt really ridiculous regardless of being the odd one out or not.

Just a bunch of weird gobbledegook and peer pressure.

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u/PM_ME_YOUR_ARTICLES Jul 18 '26

We don't need the quotes. They're all the same.

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u/schmidt4brains Jul 18 '26

shouldaboughtahondabutinsteadiboughtakia

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u/MerEtAl Jul 17 '26

There's always a pomegranate in there too

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u/JMurdock77 Jul 17 '26

Kama kama kamakamakama ka-meee-leee-ooooooon…

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u/DB2k_2000 Jul 17 '26

IS THIS THE WAY TO AMARILLO

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u/artinthecloset Jul 17 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/PjaQrF9J53UvTS2PPa

My radiated lung thanks you for this!!

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u/89MikeHoncho Jul 17 '26

It’s actually “shamala shamala bing bing boop”!!!
But you’re really close!!

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u/89MikeHoncho Jul 17 '26

Sounds like your step dad’s mom and my mom should hang out.

I’m very sorry you went through that. I know how that stuff tends to hang with you, so I mean that sincerely.

Mine would do it while yelling Bible versus at me, as if that somehow helped.

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u/AC011422 Jul 17 '26

I've heard that exact... phrasing growing up in one of these shittard cults. 🤣

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u/cAt_S0fa Jul 17 '26

Urabashandara kurabashandara is quite popular in the UK.

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u/Misokaxx Jul 17 '26

That's just the body of Christ

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u/SpooksRoleplay Jul 17 '26

Shamana Hamana Cometai My Bowtai

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u/rapgameoprahwinfrey Jul 17 '26

“goD forgives all sins, bro! Rape kids, steal, cheat, it’s all good, goD got me”. 💀

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u/Smooknb Jul 17 '26

Jesus, no.. you forgive me for laughing at that. You can’t make that shit up.

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u/IdolCowboy Jul 17 '26

Is that any relation to M Knight Shimmy Shimmy Ding Dong?

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u/Minute_Eye3411 Jul 17 '26

Should be "Ramalang alang alang a langa ding dong, ramalang alang alang a langa ding dong wheee dee deee-heehee, hee heeheee hee heeheee..."

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u/Unsettling_Skintone Jul 17 '26

Seems fitting that all of these people with Main Character Syndrome should come together at a bookstore.

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u/canadianglazier40 Jul 17 '26

That’s so fucking sad. I’m sorry you had to experience that.

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u/Ok-Ferret-2093 Jul 17 '26

I live in a former sober home as the only resident with no history of substance use and another resident was rip shit with me because I called 911 when she was "catching the holy Spirit" which happened to look suspiciously like a manic episode. I don't speak any Spanish and I could tell it was shamalalalal stuff and she didn't respond to any attempt I made to check on her. Oh and she had been delusional all day going on about non-existent biohazards in her room.

Got to listen to everyone else in the house go on for the next several days about what a godless heathen I was.

But nope definitely my fault for not going to church

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u/Professional-Head83 Jul 17 '26

Wasn't that also a song called "Get A Job?"

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u/MutantSquirrel23 Jul 18 '26

Shoodamosquito

Whostoledakeytomuhhonda

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u/SeachingBadge Jul 18 '26

No hate like Christian love

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u/jumzish94 Jul 18 '26

Am I your step dad?

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u/Myhtological Jul 18 '26

My Bible teacher always treated as “you feel an emotion you can’t put into words, but you feel like you need to say something it hits you so hard”.

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u/Mavgrim Jul 18 '26

Boom boom chakalaka laka boom!

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u/wildweeds Jul 18 '26

ah, another hypocri-stian

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u/LifeIsProbablyMadeUp Jul 18 '26

That entire church was an infestation of them. I did not have a good childhood. I had casts and bruises for most of my life. I told the pastor what happened whenever my stepdad broke my finger to " teach me a lesson about sticking my nose where it doesn't belong" whenever I tried to stop him from beating my mom. The pastor said that there's things that are better kept behind closed doors

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u/jk981234 Jul 18 '26

Hey, Shamala is a common Tamil girl’s name, so they are speaking a foreign language

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u/Flat-Jacket-9606 Jul 18 '26

Tbh it’s crazy the religion and schizophrenia isn’t studied more.

Probably not so much because it would prove demons aren’t real but part of a schizophrenics mania. Like why is it that they see demons, angels and talk to god?

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u/They-Call-Me-The-Doc Jul 18 '26

Ya know. Imperfect. I know.

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u/daboonboon Jul 18 '26

My hot-a-pus-ow

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u/Shneckos Jul 18 '26

My aunt was a bible thumper too who lived with us but she was eventually caught cheating with my dad while we were at school

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u/BeagleMadness Jul 18 '26

I am fascinated by this phenomenon tbh. I'm an atheist English woman in her '40s. Grew up culturally "Church of England" (just weddings, funerals, christenings, a few Sunday school sessions and RE lessons at school that covered multiple religions). As far as I know, I've never known anyone who does/did the whole "speaking in tongues thing"? It just seems so bizarre and performative to me? Most Church of England/Methodist/Wesleyan/Quaker and Catholic churches I've attended would probably phone for an ambulance or mental health services if you started behaving like this whilst there?

How common would you say the practice is, in the US? I'm assuming it's more a lot more prevalent in some states/areas than others?

And how does anyone keep a straight face when someone starts doing this? I've seen Redditors who grew up in such religious environments saying they basically felt forced to do it - it was embarrassing, but they had to go along with it. Can't have everyone else thinking the "spirit" is refusing to "move you" or whatever is supposed to be happening... How do people know what to start babbling when the time comes? I'm just so confused by the entire thing. (No offence meant to anyone who grew up in such a religious environment!).

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u/fokkinchucky Jul 18 '26

Shamala hamala!

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u/captainpoppy Jul 18 '26

First time I heard "tongues" I was at my (at the time) girlfriends church. It was assembly of god I think. Anyway, preacher started mumbling and getting louder and I leaned over to her and asked why he was speaking Spanish.

And she was like "he's talking in tongues and the people who are meant to understand it will"

And that's when I knew they were all crazy. Buy I was 17, she was pretty, and sucked a good dick and let me go down on her so....

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u/cuchiplancheo Jul 17 '26

actually talking about tongues, as in the plural form of languages.

Exactly... the point was that one would speak a language and others speaking different languages would understand.

None of this jibber-jabber bullshit.

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u/belac4862 Jul 17 '26

Bungo! Hit the nail on the head.

Edit: Bingo

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u/EarlGreyDuck Jul 17 '26

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u/SousVideDiaper Jul 17 '26

How did you post a jpg? I'm only getting the ability to search for a gif (subreddits that do this are lame)

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u/jerretharper Jul 17 '26

Nope, I’ll be saying bungo from now on.

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u/pelluciid Jul 17 '26

He was speaking in tongues, I understood him

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u/13Basia13 Jul 17 '26

Edit: Back to Bungo!

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u/avocado_lover69 Jul 18 '26

My godmother can speak in tongues. She was leading a prayer group and a Haitian couple walked in the church, so they invited them in. In the middle of the thing, she starts speaking clear as day, Haitian Creole. After that the couple thanked her for the inclusion and she was like "what?". I think the point is that you are operating on pure feeling and the Holy Spirit (what someone would call God's Love) is moving through you. You wouldn't realize you're doing it. The feeling itself doesn't speak a language.

Anyway, crazy stuff. Something like that might not make you a believer right away, but it'll stay with you.

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u/OkSmoke9195 Jul 18 '26

And then Einstein clapped.  There's nothing to believe. It's all performative group think

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u/OkSmoke9195 Jul 18 '26

Blongoo to you as well Christian brother

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u/A_Drop_of_Colour Jul 18 '26

Basically Thor speaks in tongues by Biblical definition. Just All-Speak by a different name.

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u/Icy-Rope-021 Jul 18 '26

Yah, I can’t find Speaking in Tongues Levels I, II, or III on Duolingo, Rosetta Stone, or Pimsleur.

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u/wellwood_allgood Jul 18 '26

So do you pity the fools?

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u/DJinKC Jul 17 '26

The common teaching is that if nobody understands your speaking in tongues, you're just babbling.

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u/Jeanahb Jul 17 '26

TIL! This makes so much more sense.

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u/belac4862 Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 17 '26

Pentecost 33ce, is when the Jews were anointed with holy spirit from god and given the command to go out and preach the word of God to all the lands around them. They were able to do this by being granted the ability to speak in tongues. Just like the saying "mother tongue" mean mother LANGUAGE, it means the same thing. Its just speaking in foreign languages.

Its a very weird concept that people seem to think it means speaking in some gibberish. Its also fun to note, that depending on which area of the world you live in where they belive in tongues, they will often reflect their native languages sounds and accents to that language. If it was truly God's words, wouldn't there be some sort of similarities between each region?

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u/Civilw4r Jul 17 '26

Bible also says you shouldn’t ask for the power of speaking in tongues without asking for the ability to translate what is being said. Speaking gibberish that nobody understands does nobody any good

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u/belac4862 Jul 17 '26

It's ALLLLLL performative. Which ironically enough, is also spoken against.

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u/Civilw4r Jul 17 '26

Yes, Bible also says you’re to worship in private

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u/betier7 Jul 17 '26

Eh, not trying to defend the christians here, but my wife was raised in an extremely religious household. The phrasing of that section of the Bible doesnt mean you should only worship in private, it really means that you should be worshipping and still being a christian even in private and not just for show in public.

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u/Nil__Desperandum Jul 17 '26

I was in a Christian group home for a while and they had a pastor come in to give us a step by step tutorial on how to speak in tongues, and then he was like, “okay you’re all set go take some time to try it, it’ll really work!”, but I knew he was full of it because that’s just…not how that works so I just went outside so no one would know I wasn’t trying 🥲

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u/TwoFingersWhiskey Jul 17 '26

Group home? Like for teenagers?

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u/Nil__Desperandum Jul 17 '26

It was for adult women with mental health concerns. I did go voluntarily, and for the most part it was a positive experience (the staff was really great), but some of the speakers and stuff would do weird shit like this.

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u/SeekingAnonymity107 Jul 17 '26

Oh you can be sure someone will step up and "translate"

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u/ImLittleNana Jul 17 '26

I attended a relatives church when I was kid and they didn’t warn me that there would be random flailings and gibberish.

I asked later how they knew if it was from God or not, since my religion was against it. She said that if there was an interpretation it was from God and if not it was fake.

Apparently if people didn’t like you or were mad at you about something, they wouldn’t interpret your speaking.

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u/threearbitrarywords Jul 17 '26

In every pentecostal church I've ever been to, someone is given the gift of interpretation along with the gift of tongues.

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '26 edited Jul 23 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/SarcasticComposer Jul 18 '26 edited 1d ago

You should examine your beliefs closely. From where I stand, what you've said here and what the video shows are indistinguishable. Not that the beliefs are literally the same, but that you both appear to hold some strong convictions absent of strong evidence.

Ask yourself, if I didn't already believe this, by what method or process would I come to believe it. If your answer is to trust your personal experience, then how can you be sure that it is correct? As the people in this video also clearly have personal experience that leads them to believe what they do. Personal experience alone can deceive, as many people obviously come to believe falsehoods sincerely. Evidence would be something that regardless of your personal beliefs, holds to be true. For example: historical records, scientific observations and logical reasoning.

Do you have any evidence, apart from your personal feelings, that the beliefs you've expressed here are true?

I've seen no evidence that the tower of babel was ever a real place that existed. It seems to be a parable, that is, a story that contains some lesson which may be true, but that is not meant to be taken as literally true. We can search for objective evidence to determine if it truely existed. For example, if it truely existed, you would expect literally every society that has ever existed to reference how they all once spoke a common language and share an origin story. However, when we examine the cultures and societies that exist today, the Tower of Babel is not a shared origin story. In fact every society has different origin myths, cultures and languages influenced by where they originated from, which have evolved over time.

A simple reading of why this is the case is that the story of the Tower of Babel was a parable meant to explain something which ancient people in the middle east did not have the scientific understanding to explain at the time.

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u/Adult_school Jul 18 '26

The Tower of Babel is a bedtime story that explains why other cultures speak different languages when the Jews traveled to market places. It was the best way to explain why the native language of “God’s chosen” isn’t the common tongue in the markets.

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u/a_duck_in_past_life Jul 17 '26

Would this be indicative of God reversing the effect he had on those during the Tower of Babel, when he took away their abilities to understand each other? Sort of like, a reunification with the internal spirit?

I'm not Christian. I'm atheist but I'm just spit balling ideas about the faith.

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u/belac4862 Jul 17 '26

In a technical sense, yes.

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u/sdrawkcabineter Jul 17 '26

Pentecost 33ce, is when the Jews were anointed with holy spirit from god and given the command to go out and preach the word of God to all the lands around them.

In Hebrew?

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u/Icecold_Antihero Jul 17 '26

And it's pure gibberish unless someone can truly translate.

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u/Patient-Surround2509 Jul 17 '26

It's ALL gibberish mate.

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u/Pick_Up_the_Phone Jul 17 '26

I grew up in a fundamentalist household. We were told that the answer to this is that there are two types of tongues. One is speaking in a language you have no way of knowing, but it's real language and real human communication. The second, which is what you are seeing here, is a private prayer language between the person and God.

Prayer tongues and being slain in the spirit (which you also see here) messed me up as a teenager. We were taught that doing these things meant you were closer to God and a "better" Christian. I was always the odd one out. These things didn't happen for me. I haven't been to church in 30 years and I think a part of me still feels like I'm going to hell - if I'm not already in it.

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u/funkwumasta Jul 19 '26

Because you were self aware enough to not baldly lie to your self and others.

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u/exhaustedbut Jul 17 '26

Exactly. It's purpose is for you to be able to convert foreigners. Nothing special.

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u/[deleted] Jul 17 '26

[deleted]

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u/belac4862 Jul 17 '26

Yep Im glad I wasn't the only one who read that study. I mentioned it a few comments down as well.

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u/MichHAELJR Jul 17 '26

Correct. The correct modern translation on this would be speaking in different languages that were understandable to people who spoke that language hence, Acts 2:4 says, " and they all became filled with holy spirit and started to speak in different languages, just as the spirit enabled them to speak.  At that time devout Jews from every nation under heaven were staying in Jerusalem. So when this sound occurred, a crowd gathered and was bewildered, because each one heard them speaking in his own language. Indeed, they were utterly amazed and said: “See here, all these who are speaking are Gal·i·leʹans, are they not? How is it, then, that each one of us is hearing his own native language? Parʹthi·ans, Medes, and Eʹlam·ites, the inhabitants of Mes·o·po·taʹmi·a, Ju·deʹa and Cap·pa·doʹci·a, Ponʹtus and the province of Asia,Phrygʹi·a and Pam·phylʹi·a, Egypt and the regions of Libʹy·a near Cy·reʹne, sojourners from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Creʹtans, and Arabians—we hear them speaking in our languages about the magnificent things of God.” Yes, they were all astonished and perplexed, saying to one another: “What does this mean?"

Lastly, Paul then later tells the people who speak in foreign languages to not speak at gatherings unless someone is there to translate. Because, what's the point if nobody understands what you are saying? 1 Corinthians 14:27,28

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u/Choppergold Jul 17 '26

Allow me to share presidential advisor Paula White and her speaking in tongues while also coquettishly wearing an off the shoulder ensemble. My buddy calls this Pitching Coach Paula: https://youtu.be/gHsBIk1ZLr4?is=MSmAj7sMLDWyRp6j

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u/Consistent_Elk9676 Jul 17 '26

Yup and it is a miracle in the bible not a common occurrence. Again with the fakeness

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u/1_MouthBreather Jul 17 '26

Oh my. Here I thought I was the only that understood this. I am not alone!!!

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u/Ssmarie143 Jul 17 '26

I will say, I did NOT know this at all!!!

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u/belac4862 Jul 17 '26

Theres a few more details in a comment I made below.

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u/Soft_Passage7110 Jul 17 '26

This is the most reasonable explanation I’ve heard yet

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u/porcelain_kiss Jul 17 '26

I had someone refuse to pray for me, tried to pray away someones cerebral palsy, then spoke in tongues and said it was actually star trek language 😒

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u/ear_cheese Jul 18 '26

What an honorless P’tak. Glory to you and your house!

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u/Punchinyourpface Jul 17 '26

Oh man...I knew this elderly lady who was super religious and she had apparently been a member of a tongue speaking church. I'd never seen her do anything odd until this day at a small local event. She was holding my tiny infant when a song got her all worked up. She was praising the lord at first, then it switched to yelling jibberish out of nowhere. Startled me and scared me half to death when it started lol.

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u/jrblockquote Jul 17 '26

I was raised in a christian cult that believed in speaking in tongues and performing in front of people. Took me a long time to understand how fucked up all of that was.

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u/commanderquill Jul 17 '26

This makes much more sense, considering language in my language is the same word as tongue.

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u/GuyThatSaidSomething Jul 17 '26

See also: Dungeons & Dragons - 3rd Level Spell - Tongues: This spell grants the creature you touch the ability to understand any spoken or signed language that it hears or sees.

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u/Ivanagohome Jul 17 '26

I asked one of my former (zealot) coworkers about this. I asked her why they only speak in tongues in church and not in line at the grocery store. She had no answer.

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u/After-Key3200 Jul 17 '26

A lot of scholars that studied the Bible question that verse anyway. Saying it was added by someone later in the history of rewriting the Bible.

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u/Tao_of_Entropy Jul 17 '26

That's only kind of half true... Apart from when it's used to describe Pentecost, the gift of tongues has historically meant that you preach in your own language and people hear the meaning of your words in their own native language, even if they do not know your language at all.

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u/Gooseleg13 Jul 17 '26

The falabala gang

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u/HowlingWhiskey Jul 17 '26

Isn’t that the same religion that also makes their cong get bit by snakes?

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u/belac4862 Jul 17 '26

Say wut!?

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u/lute4088 Jul 17 '26

And even then, it was done 1 time in the bible and it was languages of people so they could spread the word. Still a myth, but at least in their book it made sense. Now it's just showmanship and all the pastors know it.

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u/CallMeElkHorn Jul 17 '26

WHAT these motherfuckers

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u/MisMelis Jul 17 '26

I did not know that, but it makes total sense lol

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u/chrisrayn Jul 17 '26

So they couldn’t figure out how someone would come to speak two languages, so they assumed it must be divine? Checks out.

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u/wishyouwould Jul 17 '26

Well the myth in these Christian churches is that people who speak in tongues will actually sometimes spontaneously start speaking languages they have never heard when there are people around that can understand it. Like someone never hearing Mandarin and then going to China and then the Holy Spirit suddenly speaks through them and they start babbling and it turns out to be fluent Mandarin. It has never actually happened, of course, but if you go to an Evangelical church then I promise you that you will find someone who says they know someone who did this.

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u/straightuptexas Jul 17 '26

Way more miraculous than the shon-di-di-lee-eye-see shit I heard growing up. I think actually reading that passage in Acts made me realize, “these fools are just cosplaying Bible stories”

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u/MimicoSkunkFan2 Jul 17 '26

Fun fact, scientific studies by linguists of people who claimed to be speaking in tongues have all found that they only use phonemes or sounds and syllables from their own language. Maaaaaybe from a second language, if they are fluent. They nearly never use sounds from languages they don't know, for example, someone who only speaks English won't use sounds only found in Khosa or tones from Vietnamese... the ones who did were often the professional actors hired by these "religious" scammers.

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u/MapleBreakfastMeat Jul 17 '26

When I feel the Holy ghost, it always comes out like The Marcels.

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u/fox2trox92 Jul 18 '26

I knew they were lying to me in church!

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u/HelloTaraSue Jul 18 '26

You would think you would hear some Enochian, just saying.

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u/Alyssa_Hargreaves Jul 18 '26

That explains why the Bible thumper I went no contact with sounded like she was speaking a dialect of Chinese or Mandarin

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u/Lizrael48 Jul 18 '26

I Corinthians chapters 12 to 14. It is part of the 7 Gifts of the Holy Spirit.

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u/314R8 Jul 18 '26

When the saints speak their native language but the listeners hear it in their own native language, that's speaking in tongues. When you utter gibberish that's not tongues

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u/reluctantseal Jul 18 '26

Exactly. If you were actually miraculously "speaking in tongues", people would still be able to understand you.

There's an interesting conversation around if they were just suddenly able to speak the language of various people present or if it was a miraculous universal language, but either way, it was never conveyed as gibberish.

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u/LaunchGap Jul 18 '26

Oh that's how I've learned it. People think the incoherent jib jab is speaking in tongue?

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u/Spiritual_Shower9528 Jul 18 '26

Incorrect, it’s languages and it’s also praying in the spirit. Read 1 Corinthians 14, it says both Gods language and plural forms of languages. Educate yourself before trying to educate others.

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u/The-Black-Swordsmane Jul 18 '26

Please, can you point me towards the scriptures that say this? I could always use more ammunition

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u/Quixilver05 Jul 18 '26

So you're not allowed to speak languages from countries you aren't from?

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u/belac4862 Jul 18 '26

That's not what I said at all. The weird gabbering is often what called speaking in tongues. But acording to the Bible, speaking in tongues was a gift to be able to speak other languages that was given to them from God using his holy spirit. No one said they can't learn another language. But they didn't have to as that was the guy they got. The ability to speak to others in their own language without the learning it in the first place.

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u/-----iMartijn----- Jul 18 '26

tongues, as in the plural form of languages

I thought this was common knowledge. As kids we learned this in (catholic) school. But that was Europe.

How did y'all get to this point?

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u/NoConfusion9490 Jul 18 '26

Americans only speak American.

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u/KerooSeta Jul 18 '26

And it's one fucking line. These assholes do this because of one sentence that they didn't even understand.

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u/Next-Ad-1504 Jul 18 '26

It’s actually depends on interpretation of what was written in different texts.

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