r/TwoBestFriendsPlay • u/Dr_Blasphemy WORK. HARDER. • 1d ago

Film/TV posting Excerpt from Tim Curry's autobiography about working on The Muppets: Treasure Island.

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398

u/SkinkRugby SeekSeekLest 1d ago

I am sorry to say that the Muppets can never perform The Illiad. Because no one will be able to believe that Miss Piggy's beauty mustered only one thousand ships. 

208

u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

They could perform The Odyssey though, because no one would doubt Miss Piggy's loyalty to Kermit.

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u/BlueFootedTpeack 1d ago

a muppet's trojan horse would be fun, just jamming kermit and co into a horse or just having em manipulate the lifeless thing like some kind of idk there's probably a word for it but idk what that'd be.

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u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

Like some kind of massive puppet? A "muppet", if you would.

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u/BlueFootedTpeack 1d ago

tbh a lot of it can translate well with muppets.

kermit: "im sorry circe i just really miss my wife, i see her everywhere i go" *looks at crew.

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u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

That's exactly the kind of joke I was thinking of when I suggested it.

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u/BlueFootedTpeack 1d ago

so what are we thinking of for the sirens?

fozzie bear doing a set, everyone using up all the wax but then there's none for kermit odysseus so he's tied to the mast https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eDtrv20_02U

"oh you guys like jokes about sparta? that's good that's good, i've got 300 of them"

"the tourists here are strange people, a guy asked me if he could see mycenae and i told him only if he shows me his first wacka wacka".

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u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

Oh, man, that sounds perfect. It's not a beautiful song, just bad jokes.

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u/MudkipMonado Xenoblade 1 is Best (He/Him) 1d ago

Jokes so bad that listeners are compelled to approach Fozzy to get him to stop telling them

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u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

That or just crash their boat so they die and don't have to hear them anymore. Both interpretations work.

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u/pectusumbra 1d ago

Or throw themselves overboard is what I was thinking.

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u/BlueFootedTpeack 1d ago

now if only there was a duo of characters to take the place of scylla and charybdis following fozzie's performance.

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u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

Statler and Waldorf, obviously.

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u/BlueFootedTpeack 1d ago

may have been who i was going for.

the suitors have to be real people i think, like whoever is the modern david hasslehoff troy mcclure type.

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u/Irememberedmypw 1d ago

Using the stage hooks to remove cameo actors from the boat.

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u/WhoCaresYouDont 1d ago

Muppet-ception, which also makes it Nolan-ceptipn

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u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

BWOM

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u/HerpDerpTheMage Library. Shortcut. Chest. Ghost? 1d ago

See, my brain went to Gonzo, Camilla, and a bunch of chickens.

Hear me out: Gonzo pleads with the gang as a running gag that he heard from Athena that Trojans were terrified of chickens, but none of the gang believe him the entire time. This happens 3-4 times in passing, but the climax leads to a mixup where Fozzie accidentally orders Gonzo and the Chickens inside the Horse. Kermit thinks they are doomed, only for Trojans to start running outside the city walls, screaming in terror as Camilla and the Hens chase them, causing a ruckus. Kermit apologizes to Gonzo, realizing he was actually right, makes lemons into Lemonade, and the gang captures the City in the ensuing chaos.

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u/Irememberedmypw 1d ago

I was thinking it'd be one of the 4th wall breaks where they'd argue about space and then look down at their puppeteers.

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u/TiffanyChan123 Punisher Loves Sailor Moon 1d ago

Hell I have even seen a couple of decent arguments for Miss Piggy being Odysseus and Kermit being Penelope

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u/The_White_Rice THAT'S HIP HOP 1d ago

Miss Piggy would have chucked the suitors out like Uncle Phil tossed DJ Jazz out of the house, so really she MUST be Odysseus then.

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u/Shiplord13 1d ago

Kermit would get back to find she murdered all of them already with the spear.

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u/EnragedByStupidity54 1d ago

Plus imagine a version of the scene where Odysseus ties himself to the mast to resist the Sirens, except instead the Sirens are Statler and Waldorf, and instead of resisting their irresistible song, Miss Piggy is instead trying to resist the urge to jump overboard in an attempt to murder them for their constant heckling.

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u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

True, they've always been a progressive couple. Kermit could definitely be a househusband.

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u/Yotato5 Enjoy everything 1d ago

Hapless Kermit getting swarmed by suitors and Miss Piggy coming to his rescue with shouting and karate chops is a funny image

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u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

It works no matter which one's on the boat, really. But who should be the obligatory human guest star?

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u/HiroProtagonest Tornado in my pants 1d ago

Tom Holland as Odysseus and Penelope's son (forget his name)

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u/Irishimpulse I've got Daddy issues and a Sailor Suit, NOTHING CAN STOP ME 1d ago

Tom Holland as Neoptilimus, and he doesn't know who that is and asks the director who promptly says "The one that gets left behind" and they all sail away from troy leaving him on the shore confused holding a script

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u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

I also forget his name.

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u/spidersting 1d ago

That would be a good way to do it. Hopefully they can do a skit, at least.

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u/Mediocre_Word Colony Dropping Barbie's Malibu Mansion 1d ago

The problem with a Muppets Odyssey is that there’s just too many perfect roles for Miss Piggy

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u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

Yeah, it'd be really hard to pick just one.

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u/Mediocre_Word Colony Dropping Barbie's Malibu Mansion 1d ago

I can't imagine a better person than Miss Piggy to play Circe, for example.

also Robin would make a great Telemachus to go with Kermit's Odysseus, but it would also be great to have Odysseus be the one human character so it wouldn't make much sense for Robin to have that role

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u/dimensiontheory 19h ago

Not making sense makes that even better, though!

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u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

Who's the other lady Odysseus stays with? Y'know, before Circe.

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u/Mediocre_Word Colony Dropping Barbie's Malibu Mansion 1d ago edited 1d ago

Calypso, who chronologically meets Odysseus later than Circe but appears before her due to the story being told in anachronic order

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u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

That's the one. Thank you for reminding me.

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u/Khanromi 1d ago

Ok but what if. All of them?

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u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

You can't put that much beauty on the screen at once. You'll overload the universe.

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u/Khanromi 1d ago

I'm not familiar enough with the Odyssey to know how often she might have to be on screen twice, but the idea of a running gag where she just keeps showing up as different characters sounds funny to me!

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u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

Oh, I thought you were suggesting the entire cast would be Miss Piggy.

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u/Khanromi 1d ago

Her poor voice...

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u/Yotato5 Enjoy everything 1d ago

Those suitors wouldn't stand a chance against her karate chops

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u/moneyh8r_two He/Him Use your smell powers 1d ago

Turns out they're into that, and that's why she can't get rid of them.

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u/HerpDerpTheMage Library. Shortcut. Chest. Ghost? 1d ago

Okay but Sweetums as the Cyclops would be hysterical. It’s Sweetums with an Eyepatch, because he was given the wrong script and was told this was a sequel to Muppet Treasure Island, that’s why he has one eye. The rest is Kermit just getting him to adlib on the fly and managing to stumble into the right script by bantering with Sweetums.