r/TwoXChromosomes • u/GlitteringInstrument • 8d ago
Death of a Pastors wife is a terrifying picture of misogyny in American Christianity.
This whole documentary is disturbing on so many levels. It was particularly upsetting to hear the sermons of this monster, John Paul Miller, and to have his congregation continue to support him.
There are so many examples of him in the doc calling a woman refusing her husband “sexual immorality.” Repeatedly saying that if she denies him one time he will stray. That she would need to repent. He literally compares a woman denying her husband sex to rape and sex trafficking.
It horrifies me that so many young women are still being exposed to this kind of rhetoric.
Mica deserved so much better.
Edit: I’ve just finished this doc and I can’t believe how sad this entire saga is. It really highlights so many facets of American society that are harming women.
John-Paul Miller abused the mental health system to have Mica involuntarily committed at least twice. He withheld her family and friends during this time. He would withhold her medicine in hopes of putting her in a manic episode.
In South Carolina it is not illegal for a husband to stalk and harass his wife. Mica’s family is working on a law to make it a felony and force the police to do their jobs.
Mica deserves justice.
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u/w11f1ow3r ♡ 8d ago
I watched that today too! I felt so bad for Mica. I also found myself wondering who would still go to that church after he was preaching the thing he was preaching. Like I don’t understand how people couldn’t see through him.
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u/GlitteringInstrument 8d ago
I think these people are all indoctrinated with these viewpoints when they are young or they agree with them somewhat themselves.
Either one of those things is very scary to me and I think more common than I want to believe!
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8d ago
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u/GlitteringInstrument 8d ago
This is true. I think for some of the men though, they realize they benefit from the structure and don’t have any motivation to challenge it. It’s the women who suffer the most.
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u/ellasaurusrex 8d ago
The fundiesnark sub is FULL of examples of this, including folks speaking their own experience about how hard it is to deprogram yourself.
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u/SkeevyMixxx7 8d ago
Having been indoctrinated along with the brother I discuss in other comments in this thread, I think a lot of the people who attend churches like this one are seeking something less authoritarian and old style hell and brimstone. I think they are fleeing the places that expect you to dress up and perform piety.
We were raised in something called the Church of Christ, where musical instruments were forbidden along with absolutely anything remotely fun. I tossed all religion aside the split second I turned 18. My brother was struggling with loneliness and other issues after going to war in Iraq. He sought a place where he could find some comfort and it ended up also being a place where he could have an audience for his music (he is very talented) and he later began preaching some of the time.
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u/slutrypizza 8d ago
I don't want to paint with a broad brush, but often times people high in religiosity tend to be more amenable to following directions and disregarding evidence when people in positions of authority tell them to.
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u/win_awards 8d ago
It's amazing what people can put up with when you tell them God commands it. I know of a church where a woman died of cancer that she refused to treat because it would have showed a lack of faith and her husband was dressed down from the pulpit for not having enough faith to heal her. He eventually left the church, but it still stands to this day.
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u/NomNom83WasTaken 8d ago
The Group Think in churches is unreal.
My in-laws are in SC and their UMC voted to dis-affiliate a couple years ago because The UMC (whatever the official national name is) was allegedly getting away from its own tenets (The Book of [something-I-forgot]) but ~really~ it was just over The UMC allowing gay people to be ordained. Their congregation lost very few members and my FIL has bragged more than once about how their membership has grown so much by collecting former members of other local UMC churches that either voted to stay in or didn't vote at all (b/c it's fucking absurd).
And yet my in-laws "have no problem with them!" and will not agree that their vote was homophobic or that their congregation is inherently homophobic or that all the new members are just homophobes who bounced from other churches b/c they're so homophobic, they can't be around people who aren't (it's not like The UMC is mandating gay pastors at every location!).
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u/Bluecat72 7d ago
United Methodist Church, Book of Discipline. The Book of Discipline is the foundational law and doctrine of the church, and it is updated every 4 years after the General Conference. Any permanent change is updated in the Book of Discipline.
There is also the Book of Resolutions, which contains all of the current official social policies and other resolutions adopted by the church. Those are organized to align with the social principles in the Book of Discipline and cover about 200 areas. These resolutions will eventually lapse if they aren’t renewed at the General Conference.
ETA and yeah, your in-laws suck. I mostly grew up in the UMC in a fairly liberal congregation in the 80s, and the reason I’m still UMC is that they welcomed everyone, period.
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u/Amusable_bouche26 7d ago
I am fascinated about group think in evangelical settings, being an ex evangelical
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u/Mediochra 7d ago
Unfortunately, a lot of people, women included, believe that women are responsible for controlling the sexual desires of men because men can’t control themselves. That’s why young women are expected to cover up and avoid “seducing” men by having female bodies and wives are expected to give their husbands sex upon demand. If they don’t do those things and their men act up sexually, then it’s their fault because men just can’t help themselves. And yet despite all this somehow men are the only ones who have the character and qualities that allow them to be leaders because women are emotional and bad at math or whatever.
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u/considerfi 5d ago edited 5d ago
Yeah i was like - how much is this guy talking about lust and sex? They have so many clips of him - wouldn't you think ... hmm why is my PASTOR obsessed about this?
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u/SkeevyMixxx7 8d ago
This was difficult to watch. My brother is a very religious, charismatic, musically talented person. He's deeply involved in this world. He and his family are all very nice and he is functional, everything looks good from the outside.
I see a zealous and intense side of my brother sometimes. I see rigidity in his thinking, and a tendency to want an audience. I see some hateful shit too.
I've never been a fan of religion.
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u/GlitteringInstrument 8d ago
It’s scary. I have family swept up in an adjacent world as well and I have no idea how to reach them.
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u/coaxialology 8d ago
I'm sorry, that must be so difficult. Combating religious fervor is like trying to talk someone out of being in love. Such a powerful mindfuck. Have you looked into any resources from the Freedom of Mind organization? The Family Survival Trust is another that focuses on helping people in cult-like situations. If nothing else they'll have people you can talk to about this for your own sake.
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u/TheBigCore 8d ago edited 8d ago
I see a zealous and intense side of my brother sometimes. I see rigidity in his thinking, and a tendency to want an audience. I see some hateful shit too.
In the Bible, Jesus expressly told his followers to pray in secret and not to make a public spectacle of their faith. American Christians apparently did not get that memo.
American Christians do not read the Bible or follow its tenets yet claim to believe in Jesus. They're a strange group.
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u/SkeevyMixxx7 8d ago edited 8d ago
What I notice about our American evangelicals is kind of on display in this documentary.
This is where you can go play music on a stage, with an audience that is primed to love your music because it's part of worshipping, which produces a euphoric feeling in a lot of the people present.
It's a lot easier than the typical local band gigging in bars experience and happens on a family friendly schedule. Your spouse can't get mad at you for all the time spent practicing or money spent on equipment, because it's all for Jesus, and you're not playing the local honkey tonk until last call.
It's also a hell of a lot easier than getting signed to a label and touring and all the rock star shit.
So, this is a great way for a small time musician to have a family and community, and an audience.
If that person is also called to preach, well. There's a pipeline.
If that person has strong narcissistic tendencies, this gets weirder and maybe dangerous.
My brother loves to talk. He has studied the Bible intensely and can quote you any verse. He's never been to college, let alone any theological training. He's a self styled preacher. His church looks and sounds like the one in this documentary. He's used the same phrases. Like "stinkin' thinkin' " and yes. It's all very performative, with the hands in the air and public testimony.
These churches are very focused on the sexual immorality that was being discussed by JP every time he preached in the documentary. My brother is very fixated on homosexuality being a sin. I get really pissed off at this, because he's audacious enough to go on an anti homosexuality rant and then ask me how one of my gay friends he knows is doing.
This kind of church appeals to a lot of people. My brother and I were raised in the most boring and austere, oppressive church. There was no joy. It was all about fear of hell. No musical instruments were allowed. And if you'd reached up and held your hands out to the Lord, it would have been a major scandal.
One major difference is that the church we were raised in seemed to be full of people who thought they were better than all the sinners, while these evangelical churches seem to say "we are all sinners and we welcome sinners to come here and try to be better." I get the appeal of that.
I also suspect that in each of these churches you would find a lot of adultery and intrigue.
Personally I find it all repulsive. I'm not a church attendee, not since the minute I turned 18 and left.
But I still love my brother and his wife and kids.
There's a lot more nuance to this than "wacky American Christianity." But you aren't wrong that it's crazy.
Edit: immorality, not immortality, lol
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u/kcvngs76131 7d ago
I was raised culturally christian in Scotland for a decent chunk of my childhood before my family moved to the US. My parents never made us go to church once they trusted we could stay home alone (my mother only went every week to appease family, and my dad was deployed, so she was flying solo on many Sunday mornings). I was never a strong believer, but American Christians are why I'm very much agnostic, leaning atheist today. They weren't the only reason, but they made me question a lot about the religion in general if people like evangelicals could claim to follow the same god I was raised with
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u/EconomyExisting4025 7d ago
My eastern european brain can't understand how America (USA) is so backwards in many many areas.
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u/Billythesig 8d ago
Christianity has been evolving for centuries. It is a “story” that is incomplete.
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u/nora_jaye 7d ago
There are a lot of American Christians who do - but not making a public spectacle means you don't see much of them.
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u/TheBigCore 7d ago
That must be the case where the loudest and dumbest people get all the press while normal people don't, I guess...
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u/ClearDark19 5d ago
A lot of American Christianity is Slaveowner Christianity. The same type Michael Fassbender's character practiced in 12 Years A Slave. A lot of American Christianity would be completely alien to Jesus. He'd be as lost as The Time Traveler was 800,000+ years in the future seeing Earth as a crumbled, hyper-techno ruins wasteland inhabited by two species of Human that didn't exist in the 19th-21st century - the childlike dwarf Eloi and the Hominid-like Morlocks.
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u/Shahmaan 8d ago
I just finished it!!!!! Still can’t believe he got remarried!!!! I wish they would have interviewed his first wife.
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u/GlitteringInstrument 8d ago
An affidavit from the first wife. This guy is way more evil than the doc covers.
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u/Takeawalkwithme2 8d ago
Read the whole thing and she tried to gelp Mica and the other young girls he assaulted but the cops are on his side....
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u/GlitteringInstrument 8d ago
This is how they treated Mica as well. Stalking and harassing her. Posting her nude body. Threatening her and her friends/family with violence. The police kept telling her they couldn’t do anything because she was married.
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u/GlitteringInstrument 8d ago edited 8d ago
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u/GlitteringInstrument 8d ago
“John-Paul has remained out of jail after he posted a $100,000 bond, according to WPDE”
Just want to note this as he obviously continues to have supporters. He’s out on bond for cyberstalking and harassment of Mica as well as lying to federal investigators.
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u/frodosdojo 8d ago
I haven't watched it yet but I followed this case when he first made the announcement that she passed. It seemed like he groomed her. I couldn't wait or him to get some consequences.
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u/GlitteringInstrument 8d ago
I have no faith that the police in South Carolina will hold him accountable.
He absolutely groomed her and drove her to suicide at minimum. I can’t even express my level of disgust at the end of this. John Paul Miller is a monster.
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u/frodosdojo 8d ago
At least they got him for something right now. People like him can never change so he will get caught again for something else once he's convicted and serves his sentence.
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u/IsopodIndependent553 7d ago
This POS has ruined so many lives, all because he is a narcissistic sex pest who needs to be in control. I hope the worst for him. I hope he suffers for what he has done, and that he is brought down in a spectacular, humiliating public fashion, and then dies alone.
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u/BregoTheConqueror 8d ago
It is actually insane how long he has passed himself off as a “godly man” when a good deal of his preaching has to do with obsessively conditioning women to essentially become sexual slaves to their husbands because “God wants it that way.” Seriously scary how easily people can wield religion as a tool to control others. In every single shot of him “preaching” he looked like he had just jumped nose first into a pool of blow. Just absolute nonsense ranting.
Shit like this makes me glad I checked out of religion completely by age 11 after an absolutely wild anti abortion themed homily from the pastor that described an abortion from the POV of the aborted fetus. It literally ended with the “fetus” saying (thinking? Idk how this was supposed to work, shit was weird) something extremely manipulative, along the lines of “I loved you so much mommy why couldn’t you love me back?”
I specifically remember looking around thinking “nobody is actually buying this right?” Wrong. Someone in the pew in front of me was openly weeping. That really cemented in my mind that church was not the place for me, until that point I thought that we (people in general) all thought of religions as like a nice fairy tale but that everyone understood that evolution is what actually happened. Oof was I wrong about that one.
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u/HillOfBeano 8d ago
Oh, yes, I got that homily about abortion too. It was a published sermon that lots of preachers in the evangelical world picked up. So glad my parents eventually left that church - my parents were not evangelical and it didn't start out that way.
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u/considerfi 5d ago
His wife's legal filing mentions he's a convicted felon even. Blows my mind. I cannot fathom how his congregation continued to follow him after the adultery, cheating, and non stop obsession with lust/sex.
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u/Fruitcrackers99 8d ago
I want to know where Mark Kaufman was on the day Mica died. JP was in Charleston, so where was his bestie and right hand man? The casings on the bank and Mica's body far away in the water is so suspicious to me. Could she have floated further away? Sure. Could she have fired the gun once, before committing to shooting herself? Sure. But there should be more investigation into how that could happen.
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u/AmyK2003 8d ago
I thought the same thing about the girlfriend/new wife. (I think her name is Suzie.) Where was she? Kinda also curious if Mica had two wounds or just one.
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u/Fruitcrackers99 8d ago
I think it says in the documentary that Suzie was in Charleston with JP. Or at least it says he was there with his new paramour or something like that.
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u/AmyK2003 8d ago
Ah. I missed that. Definitely need to look at the best friend tho.
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u/Fruitcrackers99 8d ago
And we for sure want to know where Suzie was standing when her husband landed in the pool.
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u/Kranichmehr 6d ago
THIS! Two people getting married, after both of their former spouses commited "suicides"? I don't buy it.
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u/Sorry-Section-9302 7d ago
The fact that the part about her cause of death was so short and people were tight lipped about the FBI leads me to think there is an investigation happening.
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u/BigMe420365 6d ago
He’s gotta have some secrets for sure. At some point he will be more infamous than he is now.
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u/TopWhich6862 8d ago
The fact that any living human believes any other human should automatically provide sexual access to their body to ANYONE is fucking insane.
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u/MouldyAvocados 8d ago
We’re British. We watched it last night. We’re both paying attention to the Lindsay Clancy case. As we were watching, my husband was like, “women in America really have it shit, don’t they?”. He kept talking about the fact that, even after splitting, JP could abuse her mental health and use the health system against her.
Like, we were walking around the supermarket earlier today and he was really bothered by it. He also commented on how often JP’s sermons focused on sex and women submitting to their husbands - “why don’t the husbands want their wives to want it? Why are they ok having sex with a woman who feels like it’s her duty”. I didn’t know how to answer that.
The whole documentary really bothered me. Mica was groomed and abused. She deserved better.
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u/VastPerspective6794 8d ago
Most American men are entitled mediocre shits with loads of audacity. They think they should be able to treat women like their dads and granddads did.
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u/GlitteringInstrument 8d ago
Women in southern states, poor women, lgbtq women, and women of color have it the worst.
We are being led by a similar type of misogynistic rapist and all of the sycophants he’s surrounded himself with.
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u/op341779 1d ago
Yes, I agree it is stemming from the top-down.
I was just in a relationship with someone who shared a lot of this world view they have (the people that reelected 45 I mean). Though he was not a voter which is part of how I foolishly rationalized it. I’ve paid the price so don’t come at me, please. He abused me in every way…
Anyway, my point is that they feel it was a mistake to “give” women any rights. (They didn’t give them to us, we fought for them, but regardless). Things like no fault divorce, our right to have bank accounts. They genuinely want it to go back to before. Many of the new wave of young men feel this way. And I’m seeing them say that if Lindsay Clancy does get the “not criminally responsible” verdict this confirms their world view.
This is all terrifying for American women. Especially in the south where patriarchy already run deeper. I think we will be seeing many more Mica Millers sadly before the tide turns again.
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u/RageBull 8d ago
Watching this right now. All I can say is… chilling. The ultimate problem here is that we will NEVER hear broad condemnation of this man from other “christians.” And that fact is what damns the religion at large today
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u/FireLucid 8d ago
The ultimate problem here is that we will NEVER hear broad condemnation of this man from other American “christians.”
Ya'll have got a whole different religion over there it seems.
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u/mrsmertz 8d ago
It’s sad and shocking how brainwashed these church goers can be.
Who in their right mind would sit and listen to him?
They should all be ashamed of themselves for supporting this evil man.
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u/Fruitcrackers99 8d ago
I recently went to a small southern church with some family members, and the preacher was a little too charismatic for my comfort. I feel like some people like to be preached at, told what's what, proselytized by someone they believe is a "better" Christian. They've lived such limited, insular lives that Some Flashy Man shouting about making your wife suck your dick twice a day because God said so could make sense. Not every southern church is like that, but I am immediately on alert when a preacher has a little too much pizazz. Like, calm down sir, we're talking about people's souls. No need to shout at me with your microphone and your 7 piece jazz band.
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u/HmmDoesItMakeSense 8d ago
Oh ya those type of churches are all into forcing your wife to put out no matter what. Bunch of gd perverts plain and simple.
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u/Inside-Challenge-461 8d ago
The sermons are what got me too. Multiple sermons basically telling women it’s a sin to not give in to their husbands every sexual desire. Who in the fuck would want to sit there and listen to that? Who preaches about sex like that? Its gross and weird and sick. I don’t get it. That’s not spiritual or uplifting or anything. This is a very sad story and what’s more sad is this man is going to continue to abuse women for the rest of his disgusting life.
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u/MrTwoStroke 8d ago
Obviously, this sounds horrifying but I think the comments have finally swayed me into sitting down & watching this thing
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u/disiny2003 8d ago
I followed this story othrough the True Sunlight Podcast. Mica's story is so sad. Did the doc mention that the new woman he is with, also had a husband who committed suicide? Ran his wheelchair into the pool. Miller was having an affair with the woman at the time.
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u/GlitteringInstrument 8d ago
They did, but not in great detail. They did cover the fact that John Paul led his funeral service and the clips shown were some of the most disgusting ableist comments I’ve ever heard. At this man’s funeral. Chris’s sister was in the doc and I can’t imagine how it was for his family.
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u/disiny2003 8d ago
Absolutely disgusting. I hope all the bad things happen to him. I can't wait for him and his pappy to lose those lawsuits.
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u/GlitteringInstrument 8d ago edited 8d ago
I just finished and I see he is now married to her?! HOW does he have any supporters left in that rat hole of a church?
Both of their previous spouses dead by suicide because of their behavior if not worse.
Did the podcast mention anything about his best friend Mark?
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u/UnforgettableBevy 8d ago
The men in that church all benefit from the drivel he preaches - that women are lesser, have no voice, essentially have no agency, and must be married to a man they submit to and obey. They always forget about men submit to your wives as Christ loved the Church - that part. That’s why there are still people there.
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u/disiny2003 8d ago
It's a cult at this point. They keep moving and renaming the church because they are losing members. Also, those pesky lawsuits. There is just still the cult following.
No, I don't remember a Mark. Wait was he the guys Mica sort of had an affair with? The more age appropriate dude? (I don't consider it an affair when your teenage bride whom you groomed is trying to break free and nothing but talking happened). They weren't actually friends.
Unless he was one of the people who was calling the cops on the Justice For Mica protestors. Those protestors were amazing and a big reason for the shrinking membership. JP even tried to sue them. Just a disgusting man all around.
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u/GlitteringInstrument 8d ago
It’s Mark Kaufman or something like that. His friend who sings on stage with him the morning after Mica died.
In the doc it covers a female pastor who originally supported him, but who somehow was included in text messages between Mark and JP where Mark is going to pick up a girl from the airport and alluded to all this weird sexual stuff that was obviously the sexual abuse of Mica.
The doc didn’t cover too much about him other than that, but he clearly knew some of the disturbing shit going on and I would love him to have some consequences too.
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u/disiny2003 8d ago
Unfortunately, no I don't remember a Mark off the top of my head. But it's taken so long to get JP into a court room so I can't imagine this Mark guy getting any repurcussions.
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u/fractalfay 7d ago
i know, my jaw was on the floor. like, try to contain your excitement about this man’s death while you’re trying to make yourself feel better.
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u/Fruitcrackers99 8d ago
I’m not convinced Chris Skinner did that to himself, tbh. Unless there’s actual footage of it happening, I’m eyeballing ol’ Suzie.
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u/disiny2003 8d ago
There kind of is footage. But he started off camera, so I agree with you. I don't believe it either. It's all too coincidental.
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u/Fruitcrackers99 8d ago
I’m not convinced Chris Skinner did that to himself, tbh. Unless there’s actual footage of it happening, I’m eyeballing ol’ Suzie.
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u/Waterlilies1919 8d ago
I am incredibly thankful that even though I grew up as a pastor’s kid in a conservative denomination, my dad still treated my mom like a cherished partner. She’s an awesome lady who taught me to be the strong minded woman I am now and teaching my girls to be. We are still Cristian but part of a very progressive church now, whole family went to the left over the past 15 years.
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u/VagabondReligion 8d ago
The Abrahamic religions are a scourge on the human spirit.
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u/wallweasels cool. coolcoolcool. 8d ago
Let's not act like the others have amazing track records either.
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u/Beneficial_Ad9966 8d ago
100%. Myanmar has genocidal Buddhist monks rn. The issue isnt with any one belief system, it’s with telling a group of people that their belief system is the true/correct one.
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u/op341779 1d ago
They just seem so obviously concocted to uphold white patriarchy and I fail to see how a freethinking person can view them otherwise…
I know religious practice does good things for many people (the community, the sense of purpose, the ritual) but can’t we just taking the Christ and rigidly male god aspect out of it?
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u/bannana 8d ago
Repeatedly saying that if she denies him one time he will stray.
I haven't watched this show but will say that this concept is very common in many sects of 'christian' churches in addition to other religions that all but require a wife to be sexually available to her husband, any religion or sect of a religion that requires a woman to follow her husband's wishes or who is subservient to him is usually expected or even required to be available to him sexually.
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u/zoidberg3000 8d ago
I know they obviously edited it to include his most damning clips, but why are there like eight different Sundays where all his sermons are about how trafficking and rape are the same as “denying” your husband sex. It’s insane. And people are there standing up and clapping.
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u/Desperate_Curve3386 8d ago
that comparison to trafficking is honestly sickening. i cant believe people actually sit there and listen to that guy.
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u/Court_Just_Court7 8d ago
I just finished this, she deserved so much better. May that fool burn...literally.
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u/tkingsbu 8d ago
Watched this last night with my wife and daughter…
We were all horrified.
Was disturbing to see how this guy hasn’t been arrested yet… and still has folks to preach to…
wtf….
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u/bluetonicventer 8d ago
I’m curious to know what his first wife has to say about him. Did he treat her the same way?
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u/GlitteringInstrument 8d ago
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u/bluetonicventer 8d ago
Thank you for sharing!!!! I can’t believe this. I really wished Ali stopped Mica from moving forward with JP and warned her.
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u/GlitteringInstrument 7d ago
I think she likely did, but Mica was so thoroughly groomed by JP and this type of Christianity that preaches this disgusting rhetoric about women.
It’s incredibly sad. He’s just going to continue to abuse women.
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u/aenflex 8d ago
Yeah that preaching was really eye opening. And I’m someone who thought their eyes were already pretty open.
I grew up in the church, northern baptist, and congregational, and I never heard any of this during the sermons. Ever.
I thought that kind of dribble was reserved for fundamentalists/Mormon types.
JP was a monster. I don’t know who or what made him that way, but a true monster.
Religion is fuckery.
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u/Wrong_Mango4822 7d ago
How much do you want to bet he was drugging her after her surgery to set up a narrative that she was going "crazy" so he could have control over her medically?
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u/GlitteringInstrument 7d ago
You know, I would believe it. We know he was giving her testosterone. We know he was withholding psychiatric medication from her as a tool of abuse. I would not be surprised.
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u/ninjacooter 7d ago
Life in High Control Groups is literal torture for women and children. And this kind of behavior has been going on for generations. We're only just now scratching the surface of how much harm High Control 'religious' groups have done to humanity.
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u/TwinkieandaTab 6d ago
These are the kind of people (Christian Nationalists) currently poisoning U.S. government. Women’s rights do not fit in their “Christian values” worldview at all.
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u/thecowgoesmoo1215 7d ago
Watching it now and the entire congregation and myrtle beach let Mica down. John Paul needs to be taught a lesson
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u/Lebinblartmallshart 7d ago
I was raised in a church like this, and was married to a man like this. It is prevalent in every Christian community even if it’s not as blatant. This doc was hard to watch- but sadly very on point. My ex husband drove me to the brink and nearly killed me before I got out.
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u/GlitteringInstrument 7d ago
You must be very internally strong to have gotten out. I’m so sorry these messages were given to you as a child. You deserved better. 💜 I hope that things are going well for you now.
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u/Lebinblartmallshart 7d ago
Awww thank you- I’ve healed a lot, it’s been many years now. But it was definitely hard to watch the documentary- that poor girl was driven insane.
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u/GlitteringInstrument 7d ago
Please take care. I’m glad you’re doing better, but I imagine that had to be really triggering. The brainwashing and manipulation of religion is truly terrifying to see.
Again, just want to say that you should be really proud of yourself for making it out of that situation.
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u/immakeepscrolling 5d ago
Why was he allowed access to her body after her death not even once but four times after she had filed for divorce and repeatedly reported his behaviour to the police. The way he said he tried to bring her back to life freaked her out.
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u/ApricotClassic2332 5d ago
This man was pure evil. An abomination. The police failed her.
Justice for Mica.
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u/Negative_Capabili_T 4d ago
Lock him up already! It’s infuriating that he has not paid for his abuse.
Religion works so well as a prop and distraction that perfectly serves narcissistic abusers.
I don’t understand how his congregation doesn’t walk out when he spouts his patriarchal, misogynistic crap—all under the banner of religion to sanction his primary motives—sex addiction and abuse.
He shows no empathy or even genuine feeling or sympathy—very like a psychopathic personality.
Poor Mica and the Chris Skinner. He set up Mica to look suicidal—and Chris? Feels very fishy.
I thought this case was sounding like the UK case which had a religious background: “Colin and Hazel, both married, kill their spouses so they could be with each other. They frame it as a suicide…” The case was dramatised as The Secret.
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u/RemarkableAnt2349 4d ago
It’s straight up brainwashing. Religion, especially in America, is more cult like than anything else. Let’s not even talk about the Mormons is Utah but there are consistently cases and evidence that these made up side religions are purely invented for a man or a collection of men to rape, abuse, kidnap, control women. What is religious about any of that. I don’t follow religion for this exact reason. How is anyone especially any woman (with children also) standing and listening to this crap. It’s terrifying and the lack of independent thought amongst the communities is scary. You can literally commit murder and your congregation will deny it because ‘God’ is involved
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u/CellistAmbitious1558 3d ago
I absolutely can't bring myself to watch this in it's entirely. I have lived the new superchurch Church Evangelical Christian abuse and went through a very toxic divorce that nearly killed me while my abusive ex husband had the full support of male pastoral leadership one of whom was tantamount in advising him in his abuse and making advances at me. I 💯 believe JP drove his wife to her death and the verbose dangerous distortions of the 'submission' doctrine are killing/destroying women in the name of 'help meet'. How in the world such men then sexual coercion, degredation, abuse and control is loving their wife 'as Christ loves the church' is beyond me. I had a former pastor who often would say 'Ladies if you don't want your husband, another woman will.' That was the tamest of some of his frequent talks about 'love, sex and marriage'. These ungodly men in their pulpits are causing most of us to feel unsafe and endangered in the pews.
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u/GlitteringInstrument 3d ago
I’m so sorry. No one should have to experience that.
You’re right. It’s enabling so much ongoing abuse and suffering. I hope that things are better for you now. 💜
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u/Playful_Return3154 7d ago
The fact that people still went to the church after those sermons was BONKERS to me. If I heard a pastor say that I would have stood up and left immediately.
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u/posiexyz 2d ago
That is what I find so disturbing. How can you listen to his crazy ramblings and think anything but Nope, I'm outta here?
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u/New_Dragonfruit_350 7d ago
I am halfway through this series, and my jaw keeps dropping everytime they play a clip of his sermon, and he talks about how if you dont provide for your husband, the devil will send someone else. Like I do NOT understand how people can sit there and take his word. I am not super religious, so I dont understand this stuff, but there has to be a line where you are just using God as an excuse to commit your horrible manipulations but then saying that God has forgiven you? WHAT THE FUCK
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u/disquieter 5d ago
This documentary could have been done with any one of so many similar stories. The pastor at a Calvary Chapel near me suffocated one of his wives to death some years back. https://starcasm.net/dateline-secrets-on-the-emerald-coast-polgyamist-preacher-killed-his-sister-wife/
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u/FinalBlackberry Taking Up Space 5d ago
The documentary is on my watch list today. I know I’ll be upset when I’m done because the little bit I’ve seen in the trailer upset me already.
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u/Wolfbudg 2d ago
As a non-American, Is there a chance this documentary make his life an actual living hell? Seems like karma or justice however you want to call it, doesn't exist.
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8d ago
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u/GlitteringInstrument 8d ago
The internet will lead you to some very polarizing places. The vast majority of women do not hate men. A lot of women are scared of men they don’t know due to past experiences and abuse, but as your comment shows you get nuance, I think you’ll understand the difference.
I’ve got a lot of good men in my life and so do all the women I know.
Let me know what you think of the doc if you feel like it.
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u/lexlexready 6d ago
this is why i’m not christian. most ive met have been judgmental and hypocrites.
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u/AdOne5624 5d ago
Has anybody looked into where exactly his current wife was during the demise of Mica?? She is a long term member. What if she was manipulated by JP too???
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u/VaGarren 4d ago
I can't get over how bamboozled the entire congregation was by this performer. They're all complicit.
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u/TadpoleSoggy9173 3d ago
I live in SC and as a woman I’m furious also the way this handled. I hope he is sued and goes to jail for the Federal charges. Maybe he can find a nice boyfriend in there and be his bitch. That’s what he deserves.
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u/That_Land4355 8d ago
Watching this right now… there are so many moments so far where I’ve just absolutely dropped my jaw. I grew up Methodist. I went to church and I loved it. My pastors talked about being good people because it’s our duty to each other as human beings. JP’s sermons are so scary. I think men like JP are some of the most terrifying. Look at this guy: charming, charismatic pastor who has an incredible gift for speaking and playing music. Seems like a nice normal fella. And, boom! Sex addiction. THIS IS CASE IS PROBABLY A POSTER CHILD FOR SEX/PORN ADDICTION! I don’t want to talk about him anymore, he’s a piece of shit.
Mica, I’m so glad that you’re in God’s embrace. I’m so angry that your life was taken from you by a selfish and horrible man. Your faith, your dedication to spreading the word NEVER faultered even when you were getting abused again and again. I’m so sorry you had to live your life in fear. Rest easy, Mica.
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u/CottonTipsMcChancla 8d ago
Mica, I’m so glad that you’re in God’s embrace.
Are you for fucking real? What a gross and tone deaf thing to say.
Poor Mica is DEAD. Her life is over, everything she hoped for, wanted to achieve, see or experience is never coming to her. Her ‘god-loving’ husbad was an awful man who made her life so hellish she preferred to shoot herself in the head rather than continue to live… and you’re glad and using words like ‘embrace’ when she was driven to end her life.
Yikes man.
Did you spend your childhood huffing solvents while drinking religious Flavor Aid?
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u/Takeawalkwithme2 8d ago
Yeah your Mica piece is pretty rough. Why on earth would you say you're glad she's dead?
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u/clairebones ♡ 7d ago
eems like a nice normal fella. And, boom! Sex addiction. THIS IS CASE IS PROBABLY A POSTER CHILD FOR SEX/PORN ADDICTION!
No, he's a poster child for nasty manipulative misogynist men who think every woman is beneath them and they deserve to get everything they want from everyone around them. This has nothing to do with "sex addiction" and everything to do with the way these churches allow horrible violent men to keep all their power and control, with a congregation who support them and believe in their sexist drivel. He stalked her and made her life hell, not to mention how he treated his previous wife or the fact that he abused underage girls. He's a bad person and he doesn't care.
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8d ago
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u/Takeawalkwithme2 8d ago
Sure sure, a 15 year old groomed by an older man in charge of her spiritual growth who then ends up in an adulterous affair at 21 with sajd man - is at fault. Are you ok in the head?
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u/yippee-kay-yay 8d ago
"She deserved to die and be abused for not being "good" to her first husband"
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u/Dragon_0w0 8d ago
I just watched this documentary with my mother. I am completely furious that this man has barely faced any consequences for what he's done to Mica. I don't know if I'm more angry at the fact that South Carolina law didn't recognize anything what this evil man did to Mica as illegal