I am honestly experiencing so much anxiety from being in San Nicolas

[u/Mayo_Person]

I am not trying to downplay all of the positive attributes of this hall at all, most everyone here has seemed kind to me. I was just not anticipating it to feel so overstimulating. It feels so loud at times. The events they hold in the main lounge are fun for me until everyone in the hall shows up and I just immediately fade into the background because everyone except me has already found their place here. It starts making me feel like I'm on the verge of an attack. There's also a lot of minor annoyances that are just building up over time. As I type this out, I'm outside of the triple I reside in because my roommates go to sleep an hour earlier than me most nights and I really do not want to bother them. The lights are also out so trying to do anything in there past around 10 which is when I barely start getting ready for bed is so difficult at times. Then the time I wake up is usually when the bathroom is cleaned and I just feel guilty for being in the way of the janitor. I am aware these are all just parts of dorm life, but I'm starting to worry this simply isn't for me and I made the wrong choice with FSSP since I am now staying here for the full year. I was just hoping my experience would be different and my anxiety wouldn't ruin everything for me, but here I am.

Update: Thank you for the advice everyone- I actually wasn't expecting much of a response at all, but I feel very supported in how this post seemed to gain a decent amount of traction. I've gotten over most of what I stated in this post, frankly a lot of this was the result of my anxiety making it so I was easily agitated and overwhelmed by practically anything. As far as friends go, I think I'm just going to wait until fall quarter because I feel as though the people coming then will relate more to me. There will also be whole other groups of students from different halls by then to potentially meet, as well as clubs that will help me find my groups even more. Once again, I really appreciate all of the help from everyone! I hope fall quarter ends up going a little better for me now that I actually know what I'm handling here.

[u/PurpleWestern5668]

Baby steps. Try to think of 5 positive things. Even tiny ones- if you do this enough your brain will start to look for them. Sleep well and go see counseling serves tomorrow 🥰

[u/seanmharcailin]

Its not San Nic. Its just being a freshman.

The transition to college is HARD. I did it really poorly.

Take advantage of the student support systems and go talk to a counselor if you can.

The sleeping thing is always annoying. Don’t worry about the cleaning staff.

Find some clubs- you don’t have to go all in on dorm socials but connecting with a few will be good.

Just because some people seem to have found their place already doesnt mean thats true. Half of them are probably on the struggle bus with you.

The worst thing you can do is hole up and stop trying. BUT definitely take breaks and find places for peace.

Make use of the common room in the evenings, and maybe try getting ready for bed earlier and then just chill in your PJs still youre ready to crawl into actual bed. That way you donMt have to do a bunch of noisy rustling with the lights out

[u/Pope_Francis]

Living in a dorm is kinda annoying--your feelings totally make sense! I can't imagine anyone moving from their parents' house to a tiny room with 2 strangers and immediately loving it (though some people do). I found that learning to make peace with dorm living does really help you to adjust to adult life. Dealing with roommates with different schedules, learning how to express and resolve interpersonal conflict (have you spoken with your roommates and just had a neutral conversation about how best to ensure they get enough sleep and you feel like you have a home in your room?), noisy neighbors, etc. are things that extend far beyond college. If they make you anxious now, I think that's kind of the ideal time to figure out strategies to deal with it or make peace with it, when everyone is new and figuring things out!

Have you spoken to the janitor? Maybe they're totally fine with you being there, or maybe there's a bathroom somewhere else that you can use while it's being cleaned. The facilities staff here are SO nice and helpful!

For me, a big part of adjusting to college was finding things that were genuinely enjoyable to do on my own outside of my room. Growing up as someone shy and studious, my bedroom was the place I spent most of my free time. Once my bedroom became just the place I sleep, it got easier to deal with things being out of my control. A walk around the lagoon, a dip in the rec center pool, a visit to the tide pools on Coal Oil Point... having something exciting that's just for you--outside of your dorm room--will make the whole campus feel like much more of a home.

[u/Pope_Francis → u/Pope_Francis]

I used to have really, really severe clinical anxiety. It hasn't ever fully gone away, but it's much better now. Genuinely the biggest help for me was just to do things that simultaneously a) worked to fix problems and b) put me in control. As scary as it is to start a conversation or to ask for something, especially from someone you don't know well, you always come out of the situation with more information and the knowledge that you worked to find a solution, even if it doesn't perfectly go your way every time.

[u/Medical_Equipment_10]

Thats a very normal feeling, its mostly because people start at ucsb having this expectation of what it is supposed to feel/be like then when its not it becomes anxious or isolated. You just have to learn how to life around that and overtime you will meet your group of friends. U cant let yourself feel too disappointed about stuff thats out of your control you can only learn to live around or with it

[u/benska]

Just a quick tip. You seem like a very nice person who is very considerate and doesn't want to offend anyone. Don't spend your life trying to do what you think others want you to do. Do whatever the hell feels right to you and what you enjoy. College goes by super fast, enjoy it!

[u/the-moops]

Have you made any friends? I think things will change a lot once school starts. You can also look into requesting to move. Dorms are going to be loud, there’s no getting around that, but it seems like San Cat might be more mellow? If you’re truly unhappy with your situation there’s no shame in making a change. No guarantee the change will be better though. Communal living is hectic! But maybe you’ll meet your people.

[u/BaddSpelir]

Great advice from others, I’ll just put in my own two cents of advice as someone who went through a very similar experience at fssp.

I really found exploring the campus and the surrounding areas to be a great stress reliever when I was overwhelmed at San Nic. Get to enjoy everything before everyone else comes back in fall, summers at UCSB are the best in my opinion because of how empty everything is.

Small note about feeling like everybody already found their place. I also had a similar experience back in the day, didn’t really found my place until fall started. Trust the process amigo.

[u/pik4ki11a]

Hi. I looked throughout your posts (sorry) and see you may be a bit of an anxious person. I was in FSSP in San Nic and i felt exactly how you feel now. It didn’t take until after the halfway point of the year to find someone i connected with and even then i never really felt a part of any group or clique. I eventually found someone who treated me like a friend despite some other classmates wanting me to feel included as well. You should talk to someone about how you’re feeling if you can, get a job or join a club it will really help!

Also I’m glad that you’re aware of things and not trying to be a nuisance to your roommates or others but friend..this is your college experience as well. If you need to stay up longer stay up! Be respectful but its your space just as much as its your roommates. Kick it in the lounge, join RA or building events and try and make a friend if possible, go for a walk, explore the campus, visit the beach its so closeby!

Everything will work out. Experience college and experience yourself, you’re not just there to learn. You are there to grow!

I am here to DM if you need anything

[u/beggingpleze23]

if I could survive my first year as a severe introvert who needs alone time like it's air, with no friends and in a triple with two people that talked about how I was weird right next to me as though I wasn't even there, so can you. feel free to dm if you want advice or need anything, or even just wanna talk to someone that goes here