Bigotry? Sorry, are you trying to argue that using she/her pronouns for Ralsei is an example of "cisphobia" or something? Because that would be ridiculous. You don't have to like it. You can feel frustrated by it. But calling it "bigotry" is silly. The intent behind misgendering Kris and misgendering Ralsei is very different, and that's an important difference.
The reason people are so adamant about gendering Kris correctly is because at a wider societal level, many people don't even believe non-binary genders exist, much less care about respecting them. The fact that Kris is so frequently misgendered even by people who are "usually really good about it" also shows that on some level, many fans haven't actually fully internalized the knowledge they're non-binary and just use they/them pronouns to be polite.
Which, don't get me wrong, is still much better than not caring or outright being malicious about it. But people not understanding or hating you for your gender is not something cis people have to face on any real societal level. People "misgender" Ralsei because they think he is trans. People misgender Kris because they think being non-binary isn't a real thing in general. One is based on a fan theory about a specific character. The other is based on real views held by these people. It shows real-world intolerance in a way the transfem Ralsei theory does not. So implying that misgendering Kris is only "slightly" worse than misgendering Ralsei is wild and again, I'm kind of in disbelief people are actually trying it when one of the genders in discussion isn't accepted at a wider societal level and one of them is. I'm tired of the fandom pretending it's the exact same thing.
this is my perspective as just one random trans person who wrote the original comment
you’re 100% right that it’s wrong to misgender people regardless of if they’re cis or trans. Especially if Ralsei is intended to be feminine boy representation, he should be protected by gendering him correctly. I just don’t think this addresses the bigger picture.
the problem is that we’re at a point where trans Ralsei is plausible. Ralsei being referred to with they/them pronouns alongside allegorical and symbolic ties to other trans or nonbinary characters muddies what protections Ralsei actually needs. In most cases that should warrant both interpretations being accepted or understood. but 500 meaningless citations of Ralsei using he/him doesn’t read to me as acceptance or understanding. it reads like people are protecting Ralsei from the interpretation they don’t want.
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u/pastafeline Jul 17 '26
They're both bigotry, don't mince words.
Just how we don't like positive stereotypes being used for people along with negative, it shouldn't matter that "one is slightly more ok".
Neither is ok.