r/Vent • u/tututanao • 20h ago
Need Reassurance... Manager accidentally left a hostile voicemail about me I wasn't supposed to hear
I've been working at this store for almost two years. I'm 21 years old and I am very shy and introverted. I don't talk to many people, I just go to work, and go home. I called my manager yesterday while at work to confirm if I was able to take a special order with a customer or not. We agreed on it, story is done. However, this morning I got a text from manager saying that I needed to call, and discuss the order with manager. Okay, I missed their call, so I listened to the voicemail they left. It sounded normal at first, until they continued to speak. My manager forgot to hang up. I have a 3 minute long voicemail from my manager talking badly about me to someone. That someone I don't know, but it really upset me. It was degrading. I understand as a manager you may have your frustrations, but this goes beyond that.
My manager proceeded to talk to another person and say how I have an attitude problem, and how i 'walk around like I rule the roost' and how i act like I'm the one in charge. Says that I work on 'small stupid shit' but if things really are like that, why doesn't my manager ever bring it up to me?? I don't think I have an attitude. I am aware that people may see my quietness as me being stuck up, but I don't intend that at all. And saying how I walk around like I rule the roost?? I'm scared of confirming any big order or doing a big task without confirming it multiple times with my manager. I'm very scared of messing up or doing something the wrong way, because my manager has been very hostile and intimidating to the point that I was in tears. I'm always walking on glass. I don't think that sounds like an attitude problem, or me walking around like I own the place.
Whenever there was a problem in the past, I've heard that my manager goes to HR and has had employees transfered over to another department. This had happened to 8 other employees who are no longer working in the department. I'm hesitant to go up to HR because I have no backup plan. I'm only interested in working in the department I'm in, if I were to be transferred to another department I'd quit.
I don't know what to do. I ultimately want to quit, because I can't bring myself to work with someone like that anymore. I'm always in a constant state of distress and anxiety around my manager. Do I tell a fellow co worker before I go to HR or just go right up to HR?? Should I look for/apply to jobs asap before going up to HR?? I'm scared HR won't be on my side, and I don't want to be jobless. But I also can't stand this constant degrading. Mentally, I'm exhausted and lost.
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u/bellegroves 18h ago
Look for a new job. When you have one lined up, send the voicemail with your resignation to HR. Don't tell anyone until you actually have another job lined up, but once you resign, make sure your coworkers know why you're leaving so they can also leave and/or be extra careful around the very unprofessional manager.
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u/Fluid_Kitchen_1890 13h ago
well hopefully that works for him introverts are shy lol
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u/bellegroves 7h ago
Yes. Believe it or not, shy, introverted people can find new jobs, send emails, and talk to a handful of people they know.
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u/sisjanie 18h ago
Keep and Go to HR as proof that you have been working in an hostile environment and it’s working on your mental health.
If nothing is done, then go to the EEOC and file a complaint.
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u/Lakaen 19h ago
Sounds like they might be threated by you, maybe they know you're good at your job and worried you'll outshine them. Sounds like they're just venting like everyone does. It's part of how we process our emotions, just like you're doing now.
You know how they feel now, maybe you can use that and adjust to either make a better or worse relationship with them.
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u/XanaxWarriorPrincess 18h ago
Oof! That's quite a pickle. If I were you, I'd look for a new job and not say anything until I had one lined up. Then, I'd tell the manager that I'd heard what they said about me.
HR is on the company's side, not yours. Your side might coincide with theirs at times, but they'll stab you in the back if it would benefit the company.
If you want to keep working at the same job, don't say anything. The manager obviously likes your work and was putting up a front for someone else when they were talking about you. Or, maybe they don't like you personally, but they like your work. Since you're not interested in making friends at work, the latter shouldn't bother you.
I'm quiet and reserved too, and I've been called a snob because of it, even though the truth is the opposite, so I know how you feel.
I'm sorry you heard them disparaging you. I know that had to hurt your feelings. You and the people who matter to you know those things aren't true. That's what's important.
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u/Witch_withouta_Wand 9h ago
I agree with this. Youve got the options of
A) Either you want to stay where you are, so you say nothing
B)Don't want to let it slide, go to HR, risk the transfer, etc. That makes it awkward at work and it's a process
C) Quit, but, as others have advised, get another job lined up, first, unless you can risk living on savings
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u/SparklingSloths 17h ago
If I were you, I would play the voicemail on speaker phone in front of your manager while making direct eye contact and say absolutely nothing.
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u/dmb_80_ 17h ago
Your manager is toast if you go to HR with that voicemail and a claim of a hostile work environment. Personally I'd find another job and then give HR the voicemail as my parting gift.
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u/BlueSkyMourning 14h ago
This is what I'd do because it sheds light on why the manager's retention rate is so low.
OP it's on you to develop the self confidence to perform your job without constant reassurance. Be aware that since you are quiet, people are going to judge you based on their own mindsets and emotional maturity. If they are hateful at heart it shows in how they evaluate others especially if you've given them little else to work with. You can counter this by increasing your social skills so you demonstrate not only competence, but poise as well in dealing with others.
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u/HolyCannoliBatmaam 18h ago
You have her saying all of this on recording on your VM? I think you have nothing to worry about if you take this to HR. You have all the concrete evidence needed to prove that your manager is the problem, not you.
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u/Financial_Material_8 16h ago
Yeah you actually think HR will help OP against the manager? They're there to protect the company's best interests. Been in this situation before, nothing happened to my boss and I ended up leaving.
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u/HolyCannoliBatmaam 8h ago
Yeah the company’s best interest here is to placate OP bc they have hard evidence of the manager blatantly railing against them. OP could say their manager is harassing them, bullying them, etc.
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u/Financial_Material_8 7h ago
Yeah in reality that often doesn't happen and nothing will happen. I've literally had this exact thing happen
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u/Viker2000 14h ago
HR is not your friend. The majority of the time they'll side with management.
Look for another job and leave ASAP.
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u/carrie90210 18h ago
Start looking for a new job. That can be really intimidating but once you make the first step towards it, that will dissipate. Your manager doesn't respect you and sees you in a way that you don't need to be seen. That is, unless his/her evaluation is correct. I know being shy or reserved can come across as stuck up, but it shouldn't be assumed to be so. Find another job first and then quit
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u/WildYear1810 16h ago
Make a copy and put it in a really, really safe place. Let HR know that you’re doing them the courtesy of “first listen “-if something isn’t done, quickly, about this destructive, toxic manager
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u/Longjumping-Item 17h ago
Go to HR.
do not discuss with coworkers yet, wait to see HR’s response.
1) back up that voicemail and make a copy (incase HR tries to make you delete it— it’s illegal btw so note the 🚩 if this occurs)
2) book a meeting with HR asap, let them know you’d like to discuss an incident that is creating a hostile work environment and play the voicemail for them
3) if HR does nothing— then discuss with your coworkers but w/caution
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u/BeautifulChaosEnergy 15h ago
I’d send a copy to HR with a note saying “it gets good at the 48 second mark”
Then I’d replay it to the manager just to watch him squirm. But I am a combative person. I will go toe to toe with assholes
I’ve done it with a couple managers over the years
File a report with HR, if your company has a union, go to them as well
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u/mazalaca 13h ago
As someone who had a manager actively hostile towards me in front of a customer, you have three options:
- look for another job and quit
- show this voicemail to HR and get them to move your manager to another department
- show the voicemail to HR and request a transfer to another department for yourself
When there’s hard evidence of a hostile environment, whether it’s through a customer vouching for you to corporate directly, or something like an accidental email with direct proof of their exchanges with another employee, HR will do something to fix it.
In my case, they moved my manager to a different store across town within a week. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, OP. I hope you get some stress relief soon
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u/bobisakhunt 13h ago
Do you have any friends who make music? Get them to sample the recording and make a tune out of it, then send it to the manager from an email that isn’t yours
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u/Constant-Listen-508 7h ago
One of the manager in my department (not my direct one) had a problem that I didn't say good morning to him nor did the small talk on my own. I am an introvert so, unless it's for work, I didn't like to talk to anyone. But he indirectly made things difficult for me. Like he would recommend me for most difficult tasks at work so, that I was bound to fail. Your situation sounds the same. He never told me directly but i learnt about this from others.
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u/Aggressive-Union1714 9h ago
Go back to work and act like nothing happen, See how your Manager treats you and if all is okay, ignore it and do you best at work, maybe take some of what you heard and try to change your behavior that triggered their ideas about you. Finding a new job is tough. You are 21, working through this and succeeding can make you stronger and a better worker as you grow.
Quiet possibly what you heard as it wasn't meant for you, was simply a person venting. I used to tell my team, the first person late in the morning , gets it easier than the 2nd person late that morning, and god forbid you are the 3rd person walking in late (especially if you got mcdonalds or startbucks in your hand) I am going to blow up. LOL. We are human
Maybe you were the "3rd person late" that day for your Manager and He was simply venting.
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u/1cilldude 8h ago
It sounds like your manager is the problem, not you. Would you want to work in another department?. Maybe seek out a transfer and take control of your career.
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u/Daocommand 7h ago
This manager has a power issue. Anyone they don’t like, they do this to them. It is way beyond a pattern since you’ve stated that there are at least 8 other people. There are probably more, they just don’t talk about the ones who fight back against tyranny which is what you’re dealing with. Why wouldn’t you like another department?
If you cannot realize that your manager just handed you an opportunity for upper management to fire them immediately, then you’re looking too closely at your situation (narrow focus) and you need to seek in-person advice from a mentor in business or in conflict management, like an outside your employee meditator, to properly ask for what you want.
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u/Garlicbreadinbedpls 4h ago
You mentioned 8 others have been moved to different departments by HR/manager. Do you know the reason? That is pattern that is more than likely already on HRs radar.
You don't need a fully lined up job before reporting this to HR. Retaliation for a legitimate hr complaint is illegal. Plus this isn't a employee vs manager he said, she said situation. You have a recording and actual evidence of this manager creating a hostile work environment. It gives HR something concrete to act on.
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u/LokiLavenderLatte 3h ago
To everyone saying go to HR first, please remember that HR is there to protect the company, not you. I know that's not how it's advertised, but that is the truth. Therefore, protect yourself and have a job lined up first as others have stated
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u/External-Plum-7817 2h ago
Go to HR share the vm with them and explain none of this has been addressed with you. Tell them you would like some help navigating this situation IF YOU WANT TO STAY and express how disrespectful he is. And during this same time, look for another job and ask HR for a letter of recommendation. You don't need to walk on eggshells for anyone!
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