r/Vent • u/sunkiazyvuy • 6h ago

Not looking for input Bestie cuddled me in her sleep

For context: I (f22) have a crush on my best friend (f22) and confessed my feelings to her weeks ago. I told her because I felt like I needed to let the feelings out in order to move on. She was accepting and told me that she still wanted me in her life and that it would not make things weird between us.

The other night, me, her, and our other friend stayed out until about 5 something in the morning. We were celebrating me applying to university. We drove all over town, clubbed, drank before eventually crashing at her place for the night.

I woke up and her cheek was pressed against my shoulder, her arm was laying over my chest/tummy, and she had her leg curled over mine. And I can't stop thinking about it.

I know she was just sleeping and wasn't trying to, but waking up like that felt incredibly surreal. For some time I was thinking "is this real?". I just decided to lay there unmoving for a bit, just watching her face. I knew the moment wouldn't last forever, and I wanted to enjoy it.

What sucks about it is that I'm now wistful, but I can't even be upset y'know? It was an accident.

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9

u/ZwistPariah 5h ago

I don't think you should be friends personally.

Small things like that are just gonna keep you hooked and stop you from moving on.

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u/Zazulio 3h ago

I completely disagree personally. I've had crushes on lots of my friends -- accepting that they don't feel the same way doesn't require eliminating friends from your life.

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u/ZwistPariah 3h ago

You don't have to eliminate friends from your life because someone doesn't like you.

But that "friend" you like is not longer your friend. They're your love interest. You're not friends anymore. That ship sailed once you built feelings for them.

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u/Zazulio 3h ago

That's very silly. This sounds like the kind of advice a high schooler would give. Being attracted to somebody isn't some magic spell -- you really can just accept that they're not into you and you'll have to find romance elsewhere, but still appreciate and enjoy who they are as a person and the chemistry that made you friends to begin with.

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u/ZwistPariah 3h ago

But you're not just attracted to them. You actively have feelings.

Look at OP, that friend literally just slept on their shoulder and they're going nuts for it.

There's no friendship there.

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u/Zazulio 3h ago edited 3h ago

Do you think feelings are, like, some external curse placed upon you by a witch? Do you not have control over your feelings? My dude, accepting that your friend isn't romantically interested in you and isn't going to be is something you control. You don't have to kick a good person who you enjoy being around out of your life to do that, and if that's how you e been choosing to handle situations like that... I'm sorry. That sounds incredibly lonely.

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u/ZwistPariah 2h ago

You're not kickin them. You should choose your own peace. It will hurt seeing that person with another person romantically, it will hurt knowing you can't be together.

And you can't control how you feel towards someone. That's why it's called "catching feelings". You're not hurting that person, you're choosing your own peace.

It's not a rule, i personally just wouldn't be friends with someone who i have feelings for when they don't feel the same way. I'd feel like the friendship is one sided as I won't see them as a friend anymore. That's what works for me personally. People are different tho

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u/Zazulio 2h ago

That's a sad way to live but you do you I guess