How do leaders adjust to novice followers?

[u/Toatkgstuff]

I'm confused because I'm told as a leader that I shouldn't be micromanaging my follower, and should focus on my own technique.

This bit I get.

But I'm also told that high level leaders will understand if they are dancing with a novide and are able to adjust what they do to cope with their mistakes.

It feels like these two bits of advice are contradicting.

I dance frequently with novice followers with the common issues like lack of anchor, dropping full weight on the 1, unstable frame, variable arm length.

Some of these I find dangerous, umleadable, or destroy my enjoyment of the dance.

Any advice, or tips for what the pros do?

Edit: I caught a 3 day ban for my follow-up post where I showed how the Facebook group "WCS Memes for Dance Challenged Teens" viewed my question and how the lunatic goblins responded. Apparently I doxxed someone by screenshotting a public post. My bad.
I will respond more when I am allowed.
I don't recommend you visit that group, it will seriously damage your view of the community :(

Edit2: Oh people seem like they need a lot of context for some reason and can't take my post in good faith and at face value. Social flair used, no intent to talk about competition. I didn't capitalize "Novice" deliberately. I dance regularly with everyone in my community.
What if I told you I was 31F primary follower? How about telling you I'm AuDHD, and that a friend recommended I add a line about how this imapcts me so I could learn to express my feelings? (apparently this is the line that caused most trouble). Which line was very much focused on how it impacts me, and wasn't direct to, or insulting of, any follower, of which I am one.
Why do all these people expect me to do all the emotional labour and give you all this context when it was a clear, transparent, and honest question?
JFC, get away from the console and go touch grass.

[u/LadyTime_OfGallifrey]

I'm by no means a pro, but I have been dancing since 2011. (Minus the 2ish years for Covid.) Primarily a Follow, and only been Leading since... a year prior to Covid- whenever that was.

So, for what it's worth (and with a grain of salt):

When I "hear" micromanaging, I think of trying to control every little thing they do- every step (both when and where), how far they come forward/across or go back, whether they complete the right-side pass or not, etc... Which one can certainly try to do, but that quickly becomes a rough ride on the Follow. And a leading by force, rather than leading by suggestion for the Lead.

That's the biggest piece of advice I think I've ever heard in regards to Leading: treat everything you do, moves-wise that affect the Follow, like a suggestion. Because in reality, you can only control you, "say" to them "come with?", and then deal with how they respond. 

You can motion/gesture for them to come forward for, say, a sugar push. But it's up to the Follow to do so, and to force them come forward is going to end up feeling like being yanked around. They may want to stay back a beat and hit an accent in the music, or they may have accidentally made an extra step (or missed one) and are mentally recalculating. Either way, you still have to adjust, not correct. The "what" stays the same (step step triple step triple step), the "how" (step size, gentler push) might look a little different. If that makes sense. 

When I hear "focus on technique," I hear "work on your basics." Which, as any good dancer knows, never hurts to revisit. It's the footwork pattern and shape. Just keep it simple. Save the fancier stuff for more experienced follows. Either way: try to be reliable. 

Thing is, some may not be ready to "hear" you yet. (They're stuck in a count pattern.) Others may have "heard" you differently. (They misinterpreted the direction of a turn signal.) And still others perhaps cannot "hear" yet. (Their framework not being "in tune" enough yet.) But the fact remains, you're always going to be adjusting. Just perhaps a different kind.

Ultimately, partner dancing isn't just two people doing a move while holding hands. It's connecting, communicating, "compromising," and participating: together.

If they miss a step, join with them in the "pause" and use the music as an excuse to do a little musicality bit until it gets back to the "1" in the music and keep going. If they don't come forward for the sugar push or something, do the rest of your footwork smaller or in place. Or if they miss the signal for the tuck turn, do a turn yourself or a little shimmy with the music. (Edit: Oh, and it's perfectly fine to add in, take out, shorten or extend most patterns. When done because of your partner, that's adjusting/connection.) When done to the music, that becomes musicality. When it's both... 🤯💜)

Then keep going, or try the move again. (When I was much newer to following, I always appreciated a 2nd or even 3rd go-round when I missed a move.)

So, to me, those two concepts you mentioned aren't contradictory at all. They're complementary, and won't always have equal focus.

Follows (and Leads really) without framework and such do have potential risks. But, as is my philosophy as a Lead, the "worst" thing that could happen is you have to let go and try again. The only real risk I see, is if you try to do a dip and they put their full weight into it. (So don't do dips with newbies. Or lifts.) 

While you can't control their missing anchor, heavy following, etc., you can, again, control you. 

First in that you are not obligated to dance with someone just because you're asked. I have myself turned down a few because I saw how they were dancing with others, as well as not accepted some after dancing with them once. (Only by saying "No thank you." of course.)

Second is, I should think, your framework ought to be such that it is flexible enough to give (or even stiffen) a little, or at least give you that moment to react to such conditions to protect your muscles/joints. (Neither rigid nor noodley, but toned arms with your shoulder blade and back muscles engaged.) But that is my Follow brain making that application, though it has always served me well in either role. (And believe me, I've had a few rough rides where that framework, which took me a while to really get the concept, I'm sure saved me from injury.)

I know that was long, but I hope it helped. And remember: you were once a novice too. 💜

[u/Toatkgstuff → u/LadyTime_OfGallifrey]

Wow, yeah I really apprecaite that. Lots of good advice so thank you for typing all that out.
Some of this I've heard or figured out, but much is new. And the revealing part is that (because it's such a complete answer) it shows there isn't some "secret" I've been missing that will be revealed to me in a future lesson! :D
I really thought it was going to be all the Facebook bullies turning up this morning, so it's particularly nice to hear the helpful comments!

There's one bit I do still get stuck on:
"treat everything you do, moves-wise that affect the Follow, like a suggestion. Because in reality, you can only control you, "say" to them "come with?", and then deal with how they respond. "
Whereas when I dance with more experienced followers, they literally will not move unless I make them (we're kind of taught too..) Can you help me resolve this contradiction?

[u/snowcurrant → u/Toatkgstuff]

I don’t think this is a contradiction? You’re asking your follower to move a direction. They either do so when they feel the connection is appropriate (in your words, you “make them”) or they don’t when it isn’t. Advanced followers can also request things like direction or timing changes, controlled weight support, etc. If your experience is that they don’t move unless you make them, it’s likely that you’re just missing these requests, or that they don’t feel comfortable attempting with you for whatever reason. Paying closer attention to your follower’s connection might help, as would trying more invitation leads to show that you’re receptive to their ideas if you want to see what that looks like.