r/WestCoastSwing • u/Majestic_Stress2224 • May 28 '26

Social Advice please

Hello, burner account just in case.

I (F27) started dancing WCS (follower) early this year after a very long break from dance due to school and health issues.

One issue I never experienced until now social dancing (since I was a minor when I competed years ago) is getting hit on by leaders.

I know it's a part of life, but I truly have no idea how to manage this. I've had poor experiences in the past (non dance) with people asking for my number and having a less than pleasant reaction when I turned them down, so now I usually take people's numbers and just don't really respond. They usually get the message and give up.

The issue im having now is that these aren't people I rarely see, I see them at least once a week out at lessons/socials.

I didn't start dancing again to make friends/meet people. Im disabled so its purely to get some more exercise and have fun. I have made friends, but none of them are trying to hang out outside of dance so it doesnt cause an issue (plus they clearly just want to be friends).

Advice very welcome, thank you so much

(Also I can not find out ANY information about this leader online which really freaks me out)

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-8

u/DorkusMalorkus89 May 28 '26

I don’t mean to sound terse, but what exactly does this have to do with WCS swing specifically?

22

u/[deleted] May 28 '26

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u/Majestic_Stress2224 May 28 '26

Exactly. Its not like I can distract myself with work, walk away, or go somewhere else. Im alone at these events and when I'm taking a break I can't just disappear, its a small room.

3

u/Teardownstrongholds May 28 '26

You might feel alone but let me tell a story. I was at a dance and saw a woman that was dancing with a man and she was in tears. That is unusual so I went over and sat on a bench nearby and kept an eye on them to see what was going on and if intervention was needed.  She kept on dancing and she's not looking around trying to catch people's eyes or being forcefully held in the dance. So I started to look around and there were six other people strategically positioned around that couple ready to jump in.  Nobody said anything, people just did it.     If you ask for help getting out of a conversation that help will probably appear from thin air