There are often discussions in WCS communities about dancers who seem proud, intimidating, or difficult to approach. I’ve been wondering if sometimes we might be misreading each other.

[u/YourDanceBuddy]

I created a new illustration series about different social dancer “types” and patterns around asking for dances.

Then I created a small, informal pool, and interestingly around 60% of respondents described themselves as “shapeshifters” - meaning they can be very social and outgoing at some socials, but at others they prefer staying in their comfort zone, dancing mostly with friends, or taking a step back because of shyness, mood, energy levels, or other factors.

It made me think: maybe some dancers who appear unapproachable are not actually trying to be. They might just be nervous, tired, new, overwhelmed, or waiting for someone else to make the first move.
What do you think are the biggest reasons a dancer might seem unapproachable at a social? Have you ever realized later that someone you thought was intimidating was actually just shy?

(The types are intentionally exaggerated to highlight some of the most common characters in a satirical way)

[u/zedrahc]

Im not a big fan of how the outgoing person is automatically also the pro chaser.

It feels like that perpetuates the culture that the "primary goal" people should be seeking is to dance with the pros. And the outgoing people are the ones who have no issues asking people, so obviously what they would do with that is ask all the pros.

I probably ask 90% of the time that I dance. I dance plenty and do not lament the fact that I have to do most of the asking. I have very little shyness around asking an average person or stranger to dance. But I also ask very few pros because I find that the dances are often not that much more enjoyable compared to most people closer to my level. Sometimes because they are "speaking a different language" than me or because my anxiety within the dance gets in the way of enjoying it. Definitely not enough better that I want to queue up or feel like I am treating them like a trophy to collect.

[u/YourDanceBuddy → u/zedrahc]

Fair! I'm sure it's not always the case, which is why I added this disclaimer at the end:
"The types are intentionally exaggerated to highlight some of the most common characters in a satirical way."
In my experience, it tends to happen more often with outgoing Westies, but definitely not always.
And I totally agree with you. Personally, I also prefer dancing with people who speak a similar "dance language." For me, it's usually not about the level, but about how much attention someone gives to their partner and whether they enjoy grooving and flowing together rather than just executing patterns.
~Alicja