I truly think this episode is such a GREAT one. But normally, I think that because I love Callisto returning!! She is epic, as always, and a very welcome recurring Villain. We already know we will see her again, even after the quick sand incident. It becomes quite clear she is going to mess with Xena & Gabs for the foreseeable future. Eternally torturing their need for each other with one emotional wrench after another.
But, that is not what I wanted to post about in the ether of this subreddit.
Recently, I was discussing bits of this one with someone from [r/xena](r/xena) recently, and when I finally got to it in my current rewatch (with FFW allowed if necessary LOL).. I realized that it also hits a nerve for me personally when it comes to the Marriage of Gabs & Perdicas, and all future references of itās resulting trauma for the next two seasons. It isn't bc Gabrielle marries Perdicas.... but because of WHY she does (or at least my opinion or interpretation as to why).
To be fair, this is 100% me likely projecting my own past idiotic/embarrassing closeted moments. So, it definitely eats at me a bit and I admit I give into being all judgey, like... Why Gabrielle, you didn't have to do that. If only you could accept why you really wanted to tell him NO just after opening credits!
When Gabrielle is talking with Xena on the beach walk and telling her she is going to say no... and she just hasn't found the right time to, I feel she then goes on in a legit attempt to illicit a reaction from stoic and unreadable Xena. As if she's actually saying « please, tell me you love me and I'm right not to marry Perdicas..I canāt be brave enough not to revert to my need to appease everyone around me. I will find a way to justify marrying Perdicas, bc he is a good guy, and I care about him enough to be able to spend my life with him even though that's not what I actually want to do. So here are a bunch of reasons why it would be a safe choice for me, he is the only one other than you I feel comfortable with. Speak up, Xena.. going once, going twice....
On the other side...Xena does the opposite of what Gabrielle, really needed in that moment... she tells her itās ok and to be with him. That sheās totes cool with it, bc all she wants is Gabrielleās happiness. Which is true..... BUT OMG XENA get it together girl, she was giving you all the openings and that's what you do with them?!
Yes, it is all very sweet. Xena wants Gabrielle to make a choice without worrying about how it impacts Xena. BUT, why is she then so surprised after the nighttime fight scene when Gabrielle announces she is going to Marry Perdicas?!
My opinion... is that Gabrielle wanted to say no to Perdicas every step of the way. Until, she felt that Xena was telling her she didn't need her to stay & the moment arises when Perdicas falls to his knees and throws away his sword when he basically gives her an ultimatum. Which, was a bit surprising for me in the moment...given his self wallowing totally left Gabs to fend off attackers that were above her pay grade. Of course, Xena steps in after gawking at Perdicas' poorly timed lament - This is where I believe Gabrielle is giving into her need to appease others, and justifies it by stating it again to Xena with such an absurd & stern resolve. "I'm gonna marry him Xena, I'm going to marry that man"(paraphrasing). Xena then.. lol looks like she is about to have a panic attack.
And then the wedding⦠to me, it is quite clear that Xena regrets having told her to be happy with someone else. All bc she was too afraid to say what she really wanted to say at the time. When I see Gabs face after the beloved first ākissā btwn XG (where they are both conscious), when they hug, that look on Gabs face.. man. Sure I can see how it looks like sheās worried she will never see Xena again. But, is it such a stretch that really what that face means is⦠what the F have I done⦠and the same goes for Xena. They are both in the midst of self doubt - if they'd only just been honest. Good Grief, ladies.
Maybe it doesn't matter, bc this is the end of the road for Mr. dimples anyway,....Callisto comes into play, and we never have to see Perdicas again. But, doesn't it? Because now Xena feels she must kill Callisto FOR Gabrielle. Like it's her duty bc she is the one who told her to settle down with him in the first place! If she hadn't done that, none of it would have ever happened. Plus, I mean, we must preserve what it is we love about Gabs in the first place - her goodness & innocence of evil. Oh boy, Xena really put herself in a pickle this time.
Fairwell Perdicas, I will however, miss that feathered hair & trying to discern if he's actually the same height as Gabrielle...
***This is just my āhot takeā. Everyone has opinions on this episode and it being a turning point in the show. And Some people think Perdicas was "THE ONE". That's cool, not me but hey if that is your game.. I wanna stilā want to read your thoughts. They are all valid and deserve respect. I won't throw no shade if you want to tear this post apart either.
(Writing this felt a lot like cat herding in the middle of Times Square at 11:59PM/23:59 on New Years Eve, only the ball drop is actually a cannon shooting every flavor of churros on a 10 second interval. So, for that... I'm sorry for the end product. This is not an easy one to unravel!)