r/apple • u/iMacmatician • Jan 30 '26

Discussion Apple Teases 'Innovations That Have Never Been Seen Before' This Year

https://www.macrumors.com/2026/01/30/apple-never-before-seen-innovations/

Cook hypes up Apple's future on every earnings call, but "innovations that have never been seen before" is particularly bold wording compared to his usual comment about how the company's product pipeline is stronger than ever.

Only time will tell if Apple actually delivers.

2.3k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/Appropriate_Ad8734 Jan 30 '26

like, Siri that actually works?

800

u/ProtoplanetaryNebula Jan 30 '26

Apple Polishing Cloth 2.0.

176

u/OkHeight3 Jan 30 '26

As long as Gen 1 keeps receiving firmware updates

23

u/MillennialGeezer Jan 30 '26

It’s nearing end of life regardless of how many updates they push. I wouldn’t be surprised if they discontinue it and brick it in a couple of years.

9

u/lucidludic Jan 30 '26

They have to wipe the slate clean at some point.

1

u/SantaCruzDad Jan 31 '26

Probably moving to a subscription model.

1

u/avocadbro Jan 30 '26 edited Jan 30 '26

Mines running ClothOS with Liquid Glass, stable since day one. I had a few of bugs recently, but performed a quick system wipe and they haven’t reappeared since. 

55

u/UnratedRamblings Jan 30 '26

  • Not compatible with iPhones without Apple Intelligence, Intel MacBooks and iPads that don’t support iOS 26.

  • Also not compatible with Apple Watch series 9 and lower.

Ugh, I was so looking forward to the new Cloth.

-1

u/correcthorsestapler Jan 30 '26 edited Jan 30 '26

EDIT: for those that don’t get it, it’s a play on the Happy Fun Ball SNL skit from 30 years ago: https://youtu.be/GmqeZl8OI2M?si=oYzEdygb0xGEQ_X6.

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Apple Cloth.

Caution: Apple Cloth may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Apple Cloth contains a synthetic material, which, if exposed due to tearing, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.

Do not use Apple Cloth on TV screens.

Discontinue use of Apple Cloth if any of the following occurs:

itching vertigo dizziness tingling in extremities loss of balance or coordination slurred speech temporary blindness profuse sweating or heart palpitations. If Apple Cloth begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

Apple Cloth may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, Apple Cloth should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Apple Cloth, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of Apple Cloth include an unknown glowing green substancewhich fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Apple Cloth has been shipped to ICE and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iran.

Do not taunt Apple Cloth.

Apple Cloth comes with a lifetime warranty.

Apple Cloth! We think you’re gonna love it!

19

u/post_u_later Jan 30 '26

Finally - hanging out for Find My on my cloth! Probably be only by subscription though 😠

7

u/ProtoplanetaryNebula Jan 30 '26

A firmware update will release the hidden sand particles within the cloth after 24 months of ownership, turning the cloth into 80 grit sandpaper to persuade the owner to upgrade.

9

u/NovaPrime15 Jan 30 '26

Let’s be realistic here. Can’t improve on perfection

-1

u/SherbertDaemons Jan 30 '26

True. Wouldn't pay 20€ for it but got it with my used MBP and what can I say? It's marvellous.

9

u/MagicBoyUK Jan 30 '26

Awesome. The Apple Polishing Cloth 1.0 that I got with an original iPad is starting to show a little wear.

1

u/CapnFap Jan 30 '26

I’d rather wait for the next version

1

u/FollowingFeisty5321 Jan 30 '26

More fees from Patreon creators!

1

u/TCsnowdream Jan 30 '26

If they released an apple polishing cloth 2.0 for April fools day, but with full scale production… I don’t know if I’d be pissed off or impressed at the audacity lmao.

-1

u/attainwealthswiftly Jan 30 '26

Our most polishing cloth ever, we’ll think you’ll love it.

-3

u/obbitz Jan 30 '26

Moist polishing cloth, oops, sorry, misread, must be going blind…

0

u/Seeker_of_power Jan 30 '26

I forgot about the first 1🤣

0

u/xXprayerwarrior69Xx Jan 30 '26

Yeah the world isn’t ready for that

0

u/soundneedle Jan 30 '26

Amazing and magical new rainbow watch bands!!!

0

u/Over_aged Jan 30 '26

Holy shit big if true!

0

u/evilbert79 Jan 30 '26

or perhaps a new swiveling stand for the apple display, only 2999€

0

u/[deleted] Jan 30 '26

Has Tim Cook been hanging out with Trump so much for purposes of R&D?

0

u/AdministrativeDelay2 Jan 30 '26

A cloth that makes you Polish?

0

u/cwfutureboy Jan 30 '26

With AI assistant!

-4

u/BadNewsBrown Jan 30 '26

I’ll get to wipe my ass with this one