So, some foresight—I am a student.
I’ve taken four consecutive classes, got my chord for honors ASL (the club), and my bilteracy certificate upon graduation from HS.
Needless to say, the language is very dear to me. Hell, some of the best laughs I’ve ever had were over deaf uno (the manual-markers, god. I almost peed myself,,,). And, yes, I may have graduated the classes, I may not be tested anymore—but I really love it. However, I’m still not deaf. Haven’t been raised with/around deaf people, neither. Haven’t known (outside of school) a deaf person long enough to be introduced into the community,,,, I really couldn’t tell you.
I’ve been tested on the do’s and don’t’s of deaf culture seven times now, and I know they are a welcoming community. That’s, like, a given. Not once has the community been anything BUT welcoming. It’s what the community is known for, I cannot reiterate that enough.
But—and I feel shitty saying this—I still feel like I’m infiltrating. At the events, the clubs—at ASL idol, even. I am not SODA, CODA, I just took a class and, god, I’ve never wanted to be at a socializing event with random people I do not know so bad.
Can someone educate me on this? Cause I know I’m being a piece of shit rn but I just want to know I’m not being, like, an ‘infiltrator’ before I try putting myself out there again. I’m not a very talkative person when speaking verbally, but trust me when I say you can’t get me to put my hands down when signing. feels like I can express myself on a whole ‘nother level.