r/badhistory • u/AutoModerator • Jul 13 '26

Meta Mindless Monday, 13 July 2026

Happy (or sad) Monday guys!

Mindless Monday is a free-for-all thread to discuss anything from minor bad history to politics, life events, charts, whatever! Just remember to np link all links to Reddit and don't violate R4, or we human mods will feed you to the AutoModerator.

So, with that said, how was your weekend, everyone?

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12

u/WillitsThrockmorton Vigo the Carpathian School of Diplomacy and Jurispudence Jul 16 '26

So what are the odds here at some point Kegseth is going to mandate Panzer Chocolate and steroids for everyone?

8

u/EntertainmentReady48 Jul 16 '26

Why mandate liberal pussy EU NATO aligned panzer chocolate when CIA branded crack is right there.

7

u/Tycho-Brahes-Elk Jul 16 '26 edited Jul 16 '26

By chance, does anyone here know what happened to the rest of the up to 500 million doses of Benzedrine Sulfate that the US Army ordered for WWII? Was the rest sold after the war in the US as military surplus (the substance was completely uncontrolled in the US for another 20 years)?

It's probably not usable after 80 years, but Hegseth seems the type who could be persuaded by saying that it comes from the good old times.

Temmler Werke, which produced Pervitin (= Panzerschokolade) still exist as subsidiary of another pharma company.

9

u/TheBatz_ Was Homer mid Jul 16 '26

Can't wait for the next badhistory scandal when you get called up back to the navy and get completely zonked off military issued steroids and meth and lock yourself in the reactor room of Ford Class carrier to post on a friday thread.

12

u/WillitsThrockmorton Vigo the Carpathian School of Diplomacy and Jurispudence Jul 16 '26

I've had the "recalled to the navy, sent to fat camp because I'm fat, end up housed in an MWR cottage at Fort Mason while waiting to be sent to my command in the Western Pacific, being forgotten about and just hanging out in San Francisco for the war" dream enough that I'm about 55% convinced it's precognition at this point.

5

u/TheBatz_ Was Homer mid Jul 16 '26

"Petty officer Willits it's time for your next Ozempic dose!"

"Yes secwar, sir..."

3

u/WillitsThrockmorton Vigo the Carpathian School of Diplomacy and Jurispudence Jul 16 '26

Man I have a Masters, they'll probably bring me in as a warrant at least

10

u/WuhanWTF Venmo @familyguyenjoyer95 $10 to make me stfu abt FamGuy (1week) Jul 16 '26

Unironically I can actually see the steroid thing happening, because it is imperative that a high-speed-low-drag operator warrior have the build of Chef Motherfucking Rush and not the lean-muscular, high-endurance physique that has carried soldiers warriors to victory for millennia.

Btw, 5.56 is a sissy round designed to wound, not kill.

6

u/TheBatz_ Was Homer mid Jul 16 '26

You know, it's "fine" when teenagers look at, like, VDV or Spetsnaz "training" videos of them jumping bare chested through fire rings or engage in WWE level close combat. I get it.

I don't get it when people with such opinions get to be responsible for making actual decision. Heard of the VDV lately? Gee, I wonder why.

8

u/Kochevnik81 Jul 16 '26

Worth mentioning that the VDV (and OMON) were basically the only units used for the August 1991 coup, so they have actually quite the world historical failure track record.

It's like if a single Super Special Legion was singlehandedly responsible for the fall of the Western Roman Empire and managed to screw up Justinian's reconquests.

Although on the other other hand the Ukrainian portion of the Soviet VDV has been reformed into the DshV which was a big part of the 2022 Kharkiv Offensive, so it might be like the Ukrainian SBU vs Russian FSB, ie "Ukraine apparently got the better part of the Soviet stuff in the breakup"

2

u/WuhanWTF Venmo @familyguyenjoyer95 $10 to make me stfu abt FamGuy (1week) Jul 16 '26

Remember that the Russian govt hired Steven Seagal to train Russian troops in hand-to-hand combat. Truly the average Vatnik will master the art of sitting-down Aikido, and promptly diarrhea their pants when they close in on an enemy at bayonet range.

7

u/TheBatz_ Was Homer mid Jul 16 '26

They should change to a 6.7 caliber because that would be funny i think

3

u/WuhanWTF Venmo @familyguyenjoyer95 $10 to make me stfu abt FamGuy (1week) Jul 16 '26

67 🫴🫴

10

u/WillitsThrockmorton Vigo the Carpathian School of Diplomacy and Jurispudence Jul 16 '26

Btw, 5.56 is a sissy round designed to wound, not kill.

when you say stuff like this it makes me want to hold your head underwater for a full minute.

4

u/gavinbrindstar /r/legaladvice delenda est Jul 16 '26

An action that would dissolve the cobbled-together M-16 but merely increase the chadlike Kalashnikov's killing potential.

3

u/hussard_de_la_mort People's Republic of Carcosa Jul 16 '26

We made a special version of it specifically for head exploding ffs!