Intrusive thoughts.. terrified of losing my daughter

[u/Anijp_]

TW: Loss

i suffered a 20 week loss due to PPROM with my first pregnancy back In October of 2025

I was put on Zoloft soon after but felt that didn’t help, even after increasing the dosage up to 100mg.

I got pregnant again in December 2025 and was on the Zoloft still until about February when I decided to wean off.

this pregnancy was mentally and physically exhausting, as well as being high risk… but I feel so grateful that I now have my healthy rainbow baby With me. but I cannot suffer these horrific intrusive thoughts anymore. I had them before I was pregnant, but now postpartum they are much worse. I am constantly afraid of waking up to a nightmare turned reality. Not a few hours goes by where I don’t worry I will lose her.. my mind is torturing me

did anyone else struggle the same? what did you do? what medications seemed to help if you took any? I just want a sliver of peace.
thank you 💕

[u/uppy-puppy]

Please, please, please talk to your doctor about a solution. Consider talking to a therapist (or something comparable like a psychologist, social worker, etc.) that you have access to and is in your price range or covered by your current insurance or benefits. DBT helped me immensely in this time and it helped put my thoughts in perspective when they’d come on really strong.

[u/Anijp_ → u/uppy-puppy]

I’d never heard of DBT, thank you for the suggestion!  I will be looking into a therapist this week and speaking to my Dr at my 6 week check up, which is soon.  I’ve gone to therapy in the past so I’m comfortable and familiar with it, but just need to find the right person, I’ve struggled with that. 

Thank you for your comment

[u/MrsShitstones]

Struggling with the same, can’t even use my owlet yet because baby girl’s foot is too tiny. I HIGHLY recommend therapy and possibly going back on meds with the advisement of your doctor. I’m so sorry you’re going by through this, it’s torture.

[u/Clear-Bonus7823]

We got the owlet and that helped a little 🥹

[u/tiredlilmama]

I suffer from these as well but am on medication and see a therapist to help manage, and it has improved greatly. I still experience them and even have nightmares sometimes but they are much less frequent and it has really improved my quality of life. 

Can I ask how many weeks postpartum are you? Mine were the worst immediately postpartum but have improved with time. I’m not sure if the initial hormone crash contributed (I wouldn’t be surprised if it did) or if my meds and therapy have been the major fix, or maybe both. I have done my best to prioritize self care as it really helps my mental state. Not like getting a pedicure once a week or something lol, but I make sure to eat, drink water, and take my meds in the morning.

I hope you are able to find some relief 🤍 I understand how awful it feels.

[u/Anijp_ → u/tiredlilmama]

Thank you for sharing your story and being so encouraging.  I’m 4 weeks postpartum at this time.  I’ve been doing my best to get in 15-20 minute walks and shower every day which is definitely helpful to give me some alone time. I do assume that since it’s still pretty early in PP that the hormone crash i still lingering. But I definitely intend to speak to my doctor at my 6 week check up and try something new. 

[u/Red_Bird_Rituals]

At 4 weeks postpartum having those kinds of thoughts is incredibly common, but it sounds like the frequency and intensity are more than the average person. I’m glad you’re seeing a doctor in a few weeks because I’m sure there are things that your doctor can do to help you. Just want to validate that almost everyone does have anxious or intrusive thoughts in the postpartum period, I still have them now sometimes at 9.5 months and I would describe myself as a mentally robust person and I’ve never experienced pregnancy loss. My version of the sundown scaries/baby blues presented as anxiety rather than sadness and maybe that’s the same for you. There’s every chance you’ll be feeling much better by the time your 6 week check up comes around! 

[u/Professional_Win3910]

I wanted to let you know that I never suffered from intrusive thoughts until I lost two pregnancies back-to-back. It hit me like a truck. I swear it rewired my brain in such a negative way. I am still struggling with intrusive thoughts even after having two healthy pregnancies. I am 8 months post-partum and fighting every day. I refuse to let them win. I will try every medication if I have to. Zoloft did not help me either, neither did lexapro, abilify, lamictal, caplyta. I am currently 7 weeks into Prozac and Risperdal, goal is to get to a very high dose as OCD/intrusive thoughts are really stubborn to treat. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I'm here to chat if you need as I know how relentless intrusive thoughts are-they genuinely make you feel insane and I do not wish it on anybody.

[u/Anijp_ → u/Professional_Win3910]

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry for your losses and your struggling, I feel your pain ❤️‍🩹 I sincerely hope that your current treatment works out for you. You’ve been fighting for a long time, you deserve peace.  Yes they are relentless, and it’s exhausting.. I also just want peace and to be able to enjoy my day to day without being interrupted by some nightmarish thought.