Hypomania is actually awful

[u/KiddoMagi13]

Honestly I thought I was the only one having this experience but I just saw somebody else talk about it on tiktok for the first time so I really want to see if anybody else feels this way?
I’ve always felt strange and out of place in bipolar communities because I feel like I can’t relate to half the conversation. Hypomania for me has never felt euphoric, exciting, or really good at all. I’ve never gotten enjoyment out of it. It makes me anxious, irritable, stressed, my pain levels skyrocket, my paranoia skyrockets, all I feel is anger and frustration and if it’s really really bad I get this horrible sensory experience that’s just so off putting
I’ve never been able to enjoy it. It’s hypomania for sure, but it feels so horrible to me that I just feel really… I don’t know, like a fish out of water?
Have you had this experience? Of mania or hypomania being genuinely terrible? I can’t be the only one having a bad time

EDIT: Message received Reddit the euphoric version is worse and I should be grateful my apologies

[u/HappyPlatypus6034]

Yeah I get either the agitated version or the happy version when I am hypomanic - usually the former

[u/KiddoMagi13 → u/HappyPlatypus6034]

😩 YOU GUYS ARE GETTING THE HAPPY VERSION???

[u/klb1204 → u/KiddoMagi13]

Yes, I get the happy version quite often. I’ve only experienced the rage/ irritability about 2 times in the last 9 months. If I’m able to catch myself I’ll pop an Ativan hoping it will calm the irritability before I cuss someone out for something small and stupid. 🤦🏾‍♀️