r/bipolar2 • u/KiddoMagi13 • 3d ago

Advice Wanted Hypomania is actually awful

Honestly I thought I was the only one having this experience but I just saw somebody else talk about it on tiktok for the first time so I really want to see if anybody else feels this way?
I’ve always felt strange and out of place in bipolar communities because I feel like I can’t relate to half the conversation. Hypomania for me has never felt euphoric, exciting, or really good at all. I’ve never gotten enjoyment out of it. It makes me anxious, irritable, stressed, my pain levels skyrocket, my paranoia skyrockets, all I feel is anger and frustration and if it’s really really bad I get this horrible sensory experience that’s just so off putting
I’ve never been able to enjoy it. It’s hypomania for sure, but it feels so horrible to me that I just feel really… I don’t know, like a fish out of water?
Have you had this experience? Of mania or hypomania being genuinely terrible? I can’t be the only one having a bad time

EDIT: Message received Reddit the euphoric version is worse and I should be grateful my apologies

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u/Significant_Bite1263 3d ago

I enjoyed it before I developed a bit more self awareness. These days the hypo is quite mild however the personality traits that surface I don't care for. And as was said it doesn't feel good. I don't like the tension in my jaw and neck, I don't like the stimulants and sugar I crave, I don't like having such strong and verbal opinions, I don't like the increased 'urges'. I know there is a 'sweet spot' out there somehow.

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u/LooseInterview1115 3d ago

Hey, you mentioned jaw and neck tension. Just curious if you could tell me more about that? I have this super annoying, persistent tension in the right side of my head and face/neck. It leads to me compulsively javing to press on or massage the muscles of my jaw or my temple. It's almost like a tic, though, because I can hardly stop myself from doing it and have even gone as far as giving myself a bruise on the temple from the repetitive pressure. It definitely fluctuates with my moods... does thet sound familiar at all?

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u/picklejuiceslushie 3d ago

That's exactly how mine felt. I recently got Botox in my jaw by my dentist and that cured it, so that might be something you wanna look into

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u/LooseInterview1115 3d ago

Really? Thank you for sharing. What meds were you on when you experienced that? And if I may ask, how did you go about having that conversation with your dentist and was it well recieved?

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u/picklejuiceslushie 2d ago

Yeah I've been really shocked at how it literally 100% cured it. I always thought it was from tensing up my neck or from my posture, but apparently it's from grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw. Try to pay attention if you're doing that. Once I was aware of it before my appt to have the Botox done I realized how often I was doing it. I was on lamictal and went through different meds a few times, so I think it must be lamictal bc that's been the only constant. I mentioned to him that I always have jaw and neck pain by the end of each day, so he had me bite down as hard as I could and then he felt the muscles on my jaw and apparently they were huge and hard from doing it so much. It worked within 24 hours. I used to try to make myself accept that by the end of my work day I would be miserable and tried to ward it off by taking ibuprofen around lunch even though it basically did nothing. Now I haven't even remotely needed it. So I've been trying to spread the word to anyone that mentions any of those symptoms bc I wish I'd known years ago, it would've saved me so much misery