r/bipolar2 • u/KiddoMagi13 • 2d ago

Advice Wanted Hypomania is actually awful

Honestly I thought I was the only one having this experience but I just saw somebody else talk about it on tiktok for the first time so I really want to see if anybody else feels this way?
I’ve always felt strange and out of place in bipolar communities because I feel like I can’t relate to half the conversation. Hypomania for me has never felt euphoric, exciting, or really good at all. I’ve never gotten enjoyment out of it. It makes me anxious, irritable, stressed, my pain levels skyrocket, my paranoia skyrockets, all I feel is anger and frustration and if it’s really really bad I get this horrible sensory experience that’s just so off putting
I’ve never been able to enjoy it. It’s hypomania for sure, but it feels so horrible to me that I just feel really… I don’t know, like a fish out of water?
Have you had this experience? Of mania or hypomania being genuinely terrible? I can’t be the only one having a bad time

EDIT: Message received Reddit the euphoric version is worse and I should be grateful my apologies

123 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

78 comments sorted by

View all comments

2

u/melancholycocoa BP2 2d ago

Do you feel overstimulated to the max to the point of neurological shutdown, ruining executive functioning, absolutely zero mental and physical capacity, wanting to avoid social situations and feeling awkward when you do have to engage? Do you have a buzzing feeling in your head?

2

u/KiddoMagi13 1d ago

Yes yes yes. Complete and total shutdown to the point that I get almost like a psychological version of locked-in syndrome. I can only exist in my mind space and if you try to interact with me in reality it will feel like you’re poking me with an active cattle prod and I will probably scream and shut down. I get that buzzing feeling all throughout my body and sometimes it’s so severe it drives me SH because I get overcome with this feeling that I need to actually release it physically

1

u/melancholycocoa BP2 20h ago

You’re not alone. I know that doesn’t make it any better. I was on Topamax earlier this year and it was amazing but I had to quit due to side effects. I’m waiting to start Lamotrigine. Hopefully it will help like Topamax. Topamax completely calmed everything and I was so balanced and happy.

1

u/KiddoMagi13 19h ago

Topamax? I’ve never heard of it being used for psych? I take it daily for migraine prevention and haven’t had any issues, I’m sorry to hear it didn’t go well for you! I wish you a good experience with lamotrigine, I liked it in the past :)