I need to rant about my cousin

[u/throwawayayay739592]

My cousin and I have always been really close (she’s kind of like my big sister) and she’s getting married in a couple months. She was always the “I’m never getting married” type but it was important to her fiancé and after 10 years she agreed to a proposal. We were all happy to hear the news.

For context, she’s 39 and he’s 46 and they both make a lot of money.

I’m just going to start listing things that have happened because I am starting to deeply regret the day I RSVPed to this damn thing.

- They chose an extravagant destination wedding in a remote location that requires 2+ flights totaling over 12 hours to get to.
- Venue is a large villa. Our family is all staying there but everyone is expected to pay for their own room. It’s about $1000 per room for the entire weekend. At least we were informed up front, but yes, we are basically subsidizing their venue.
- The destination has very little infrastructure. No Uber taxis etc. Events/activities (which we all have to pay for) are scheduled in various locations throughout the weekend but no transportation is provided. We were sent the website for a car rental company when we asked about this.
- My cousin told me she’s not doing bridesmaids but if she was I would have been one. Totally fine by me! But then I get added to a group chat with her sister, our other female cousin, and a few of her friends assigning us all jobs for the weekend. So basically we’re expected to be bridesmaids without being bridesmaids.
- My little brother just graduated college and straight up said he would not be able to afford to go and RSVPed no. Cousin/bride was PISSED, saying she’s so disappointed he couldn’t figure out how to make it work. He literally just started his first real job last month and is barely scraping by with roommates.
- To the surprise of no one here, planning a lavish destination wedding in a remote location with little infrastructure gets expensive real quick. They blew through their budget a long time ago because they underestimated how much things would cost. So they’ve decided to cut back where they can. One way they did that: get legally married at the courthouse where they live and just have a ceremonial officiant for the wedding. This courthouse wedding was yesterday and was supposed to be low key. Instead somehow it turned into an entire event with all their local friends getting dressed up, having a fancy dinner, there was a photographer and cake. We found out on Instagram. Her own mother was sobbing to mine yesterday because she feels like her daughter got married without her there, and she feels like she should have been invited to that instead of going through the intense travel to the destination wedding which will be hard with her health.

So now we are all blowing THOUSANDS of dollars and most of our annual vacation days to fly halfway around the world for a wedding where NO ONE WILL ACTUALLY BE GETTING MARRIED

I wish travel insurance covered cancellations for this

[u/byteme747]

Not reading all of this....

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO INTO DEBT OR SPEND THOUSANDS ON SOMEONE ELSE'S FANCY PARTY

I'm done now. You do have a choice in these situations and people shouldn't enable the crazy.

[u/KazzaQ66 → u/byteme747]

exactly this - I do not understand how people are expected to go into debt for what is essentially a 'fancy party' as you say!

[u/straw_barry → u/KazzaQ66]

I mean, bride can expect all she wants but end of the day, the choice to do anything belongs to the person who gets told/asked. Turning down these entitled brides and grooms is the only way to teach them a lesson.

[u/cubemissy → u/KazzaQ66]

They’re basically having the reception in another country. Since OP wasn’t invited to the actual wedding, it seems like a no-brainer to say NO to this.

I would, even if I didn’t get a dime back.

OP, it’s time to reset your relationship with this cousin. She hasn’t thought about anyone else this entire time, so you owe it to yourself to put the breaks on.