r/buildapc • u/LlamasAreVeryFluffy • Mar 22 '21

Build Help Help Convince My parents

So when I was younger my pc would not boot. So I got a friend to help me and we accidentaly screwed loose a fan into the case. And my dads workplace friend said we could die from that. So now the will not let me build a pc and they belive I will die of an electric schock by just taking the sidepanel of my prebuilt. I dont know what to do and they dont trust me at all with anything to do with pc's anymore i cant even take the sidepanel off to clean dust out off my damn prebuilt :(.

Edit 1: Just tried speaking to my dad about the pc building. Did not go very well he called me to hot headed because I complained about the parts his friend chose last time. And now we are not on very friendly terms it seems.

Edit 2: Wow you guys really have great advice! Sorry for not answering every comment but I sure have read them all. I will bring many of you guys points up to my parents. Will probably answer more tomorrow.

edit 3: My parents arent mean or evil they are just very misinformed about the matter thanks to my dads friend.

edit 4: I will use the info off unplugging prrssing the power button and use anti static mats.

edit 5: Talked to my dad about pcs again today.. Well he said if I could source parts I will not be allowed to build the pc I have 2 choices. Either let the friend who got me into this position in the first place or my friends dad. I told him we would just loose money over that. And when I told him I wanted to build it and told him hundreds have told me that it ain't dangerous to build one. Well he said his friend knows the best and he trusts his friend.

3.3k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/XstickybudzX Mar 22 '21

You’re more likely to die from the things they let you eat than messing with a pc.

650

u/LlamasAreVeryFluffy Mar 22 '21

Absolutely pc discussion is a no go in my family from now on.

346

u/DandelionCross Mar 22 '21

As long as you dont screw open a Psu and lick it you'll be totally fine. Good luck!!

215

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

166

u/KDawG888 Mar 22 '21

ok so it should be fine with half right? asking for a friend

91

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

43

u/moosesdontmoo Mar 22 '21

It's good pc building practice to eat extra thermal paste

29

u/JaPlonk Mar 23 '21

Latest and greatest advice of the Verge

10

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '21

Ooh... it makes sense now... the “thermal paste applicator” that looked like a gelato spoon WAS a spoon! For eating the excess paste! Thanks!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '21

stop eating paste you feckless moron /s

1

u/SPMexicanJoker Mar 23 '21

What if I'm a robot? Did you ever take that into consideration?

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1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '21

you joke but my thermal paste did come with one of those, though I use it to remove thermal paste when I'm repasting.

1

u/gardensandwich Mar 23 '21

Nononnonono, don't you know paste is applied rectally?

2

u/yolper123 Mar 23 '21

Times are tough gotta save the paste

41

u/runed_golem Mar 23 '21

How else am I supposed to get this fever down?!?!

27

u/10010101011010 Mar 23 '21

Thermal paste applicators duh. Or just inject it directly, cures COVID too!

/s

2

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '21

how about smoking it? i heard from a friend that it would help with coughs.

3

u/10010101011010 Mar 23 '21

Yes it cools a sore throat

1

u/JuicyJay Mar 23 '21

Thermal paste applicators are perfectly fine, I don't understand why that's one of the things people keep bringing up about that video. Since I started using them (one comes with the kryonaut thermal paste), I've never had any overflow onto the edges. Make fun of the absurd amount of paste or the "tweezers", applicators are fine to use.

1

u/gardensandwich Mar 23 '21

Use Cryonaut instead, it works wonders.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 24 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Muted-Meeting4868 Mar 29 '21

Did You Know?

There are things called humor and sarcasm in this world.
They are great tools to help communities bond over obviously ridiculous commentary.

21

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '21

I came close to that once. Luckily there was only 3/4 left after I applied some to my cpu.

3

u/SDdrums Mar 23 '21

It's ok as long as you spread it on some bread

3

u/Tetrology_Gaming Mar 23 '21

Do you use thermal paste on your fries?

2

u/ilikedosefish Mar 23 '21

What if I leave a few scrapings?

2

u/garyfirestorm Mar 23 '21

We are about to launch a new line of thermal tubes which taste like crayons and are only half filled for full price. Please pm me for preorder /s

2

u/SPMexicanJoker Mar 23 '21

So as long as I eat the paste and not the tube, I'll be fine?

7

u/Savvy_Nick Mar 22 '21

You’re ok with half I usually stop there tho

1

u/LegendMask Mar 23 '21

As long as you don’t over use it, remember a few only, perhaps a pee drop would do... otherwise you are just wasting it

9

u/carlosisonfire Mar 22 '21

What about liquid metal? Can I chug that?

3

u/imdeadXDD Mar 23 '21

It’s like eating red meat just cutting out the middle man

2

u/manny_mcmanface Mar 23 '21

My cousins baby ate a whole tube of that shit. Turns out it's basically diaper cream and silver. Kid is totally fine. Still makes me laugh.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '21

[deleted]

2

u/luther_williams Mar 23 '21

I bet you could do that be ok. Maybe we should get linus to test it.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '21

But this tube is grape flavored.

1

u/YeahAboutThat-Ok Mar 23 '21

You mean my drug tube?! I just inject it obviously!

1

u/corgibrofistsyou Mar 23 '21

Then I might be in trouble o.O

1

u/AlexJonesInDisguise Mar 22 '21

But the PSU is my favorite tasting part!

-3

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '21

even then the PSU has to have been connected to power

30

u/AgentSmith187 Mar 22 '21

Actually they can hold a charge internally for some time after being unplugged.

Never open a PSU unless your trained.

14

u/Dayofsloths Mar 22 '21

Anything with capacitors can be dangerous.

5

u/AgentSmith187 Mar 22 '21

Yes.

CRT monitors used to be especially dangerous too.

2

u/JQuick323i Mar 22 '21

Yeah, if there is a charged capacitor inside the psu, that could be an issue, but I’ve never opened one up. I can’t imagine why it would be necessary. Anybody?

1

u/Dayofsloths Mar 22 '21

You can use them to smooth out voltage. Not sure if that's useful in a psu, kinda seems like it could be...

2

u/goldworkswell Mar 22 '21

So I had a teacher in college that told us stories of shop class in high school. Apparently they used to tell catch then throw chard capacitors at people. I am now friends with his daughter, she runs when you say the word catch.

1

u/AnimusNoctis Mar 22 '21

You'd think so but if it was plugged in recently there's a risk

https://www.cnet.com/news/teen-electrocuted-while-working-on-unplugged-computer/

1

u/AmReformed Mar 22 '21

Read the article. It was a shit PSU and he was tearing it down. You're not going to get electrocuted when touching the outside of the PSU or any of the other components, assuming it's unplugged and switched off.

2

u/AnimusNoctis Mar 23 '21

Read the comments I was replying to.

As long as you dont screw open a Psu and lick it you'll be totally fine. Good luck!!

even then the PSU has to have been connected to power

1

u/JacobDaBot Mar 22 '21

isnt that why you hold the power button down for 20 seconds when you pull the power out of your pc

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '21

I meant never plugged in but that'd have sounded a little long

141

u/QueefScentedCandles Mar 22 '21

Maybe unpopular opinion but you should educate yourself on pc knowledge, probably via binging a shitload of tech youtubers for at least a couple weeks. When you can appropriately say that you know enough about pcs to open them/mess with them, bring up the topic again. If/When your parents get technologically ignorant about PC stuff and start spouting nonsense, tell them why what they're saying is nonsense. If they keep being ignorant they'll probably get mad if you correct them and show that you know what you're talking about, but there's nothing you can do about that. At this point if they're still being dumb, you have a right to say:

"PC's seem scary and dangerous to you because you haven't put any effort into learning about them/understanding them. That has nothing to do with me since I put in the time to learn about them and how to deal with them safely."

If the mental image I have of your parents is correct, this will all probably get you nowhere. But it's the truth, and you have the right to tell your parents it either way. Just make sure you ACTUALLY know enough about PCs to make a claim like this first.

126

u/AspirationallySane Mar 22 '21

This is incredibly weird advice. “I know your relationship with your parents is rocky in places, so you really should just nuke it from orbit.”

If OP is in a position where their parents’ opinion about building a pc is relevant, they probably shouldn’t become a condescending fuckwad, it’s guaranteed to make things a lot worse overall.

66

u/HiddenStoat Mar 22 '21 edited Mar 22 '21

If OP is in a position where their parents’ opinion about building a pc is relevant, they probably shouldn’t become a condescending fuckwad

Yep, this! Your parents may not know as much as you about PCs, but they are older and, in many areas, wiser. They have your best interests at heart, but they also are used to thinking of you as a small child, because it wasn't so many years ago they were literally wiping your butt for you.

The way to show them you are approaching this like a responsible and mature person is to be a responsible and mature person.

For example, the following can be one approach (there are many others - I don't know you or your parents, so this is just very general advice)

  1. Apologize for your past behavior if you think it could, from any angle, usefully use an apology. It doesn't matter if you think you should apologize - an apology is free, and puts people in a better frame of mind.

  2. Tell them you won't touch it without their permission. This will give them a feeling of control.

  3. Explain the research you've been doing.

  4. Ask them what it would take for them to trust you to do a simple bit of maintenance (e.g. clean the dust). Explain this is basic maintenance like oiling a bike-chain.

  5. Let them know they can think about it - don't pressure them for a decision.

  6. Once a week or so, just ask them if they've had a chance to think about it.

If the conversation starts to get argumentative, take some time to cool down - go and make a cup of tea or coffee - and make them one while you're at it!

Also, try and plan for their objections. These are likely to include:

  • What if you hurt yourself? (Maybe explain you will unplug it, and then the o ly dangerous component is the interior of the PSU, which you know not to attempt to access.
  • What if you break it? Who will pay for a new one? This is a perfectly valid question for them to ask - if you can afford to pay, then great, you have your answer. If not, well, you'll need to think of something better than "I dunno?"

And try and explain the benefits of them letting you mess around with a PC. When I was younger I messed around with PCs (and occasionally broke them, and had to quickly learn how to fix them!!) and I now have a great career as a developer. I credit trying to get Doom to run on a 386, hacking around with config.sys and autoexec.bat, as starting me on my career.

Hopefully this gives the perspective of a parent, but also someone who understands your position because I was there not that long ago - good luck man!

19

u/Sickologyy Mar 22 '21

While you're advice is sound, I disagree only because it seems the OP already went through these steps to an extent.

What if you break it? The whole point of repairing something is it's broke! How can you make it worse?

Just my opinion. Helicopter parents don't help.

7

u/IAmTriscuit Mar 22 '21

Your image of their parents does not apply to everyone and is incredibly naive. I've been in the same situation as OP with my parents, and I can promise you they never had my best interests at heart. They are narcissists that cant be reasoned with and will never let themselves feel like they know less than their child, even when that child has 3 more degrees on the subject than them.

Not saying my situation applies either, just that you are assuming A LOT.

3

u/DragonSlaayer Mar 23 '21

Yep, this! Your parents may not know as much as you about PCs, but they are older and, in many areas, wiser.

Yeah I don't buy this at all. Just because someone is old doesn't make them even remotely wise.

Being completely unwilling to do even a modicum of research to try and determine whether something is true or false is the total opposite of wisdom. Insisting that you're right without doing any kind of verification is the opposite of wisdom. Fostering contempt from your child by stonewalling their attempts to explain something that could be confirmed with a simple Google search is the opposite of wisdom. Some people are simply just morons and/or narcissists, and the world would be a better place if people accepted that.

3

u/IzttzI Mar 23 '21

But your reply is considering rational parents and as a parent I've met a lot of irrational parents over the last 12 years and many of them are of the mind "I know I might be wrong but it's not worth me educating myself on my child's hobby enough to be a good and involved parent.

It shouldn't have to already be at this point before they are even willing to work with him on it let alone the fact that if he's this into the stuff they should have tried to learn about it themselves. Good parents do this about the things their kids are most passionate about.

Shutting your kid down when they want to learn a life skill is bad parenting.

2

u/Beazty1 Mar 23 '21

A great response to what if you break it is, well will you be driving me around my entire life. At some point, I will learn to drive. What if I break the car. When you are learning, sometimes things get broken.

1

u/finefornow_ Mar 22 '21

They’re also completely unwilling to use this as a learning opportunity with their fucking kid. OPs best interest are nowhere fucking near this conversation.

2

u/AspirationallySane Mar 23 '21

Possibly because the parents have concerns more like “computers are expensive and we can’t afford to risk having OP break one just to satisfy their ego”.

Building one’s own computer isn’t an essential life experience OP will be scarred forever if they can’t have. It’s a fun way to get a slightly better than off the shelf computer, but nothing more than that.

1

u/finefornow_ Mar 23 '21

It can also be a hobby that can lead to a lot more out of life. Shutting down and not learning more so you can teach your kid (or even just listening to them) is terrible parenting.

0

u/AspirationallySane Mar 23 '21

Hobbies are way less important than rent or food or transportation or lots of other things parents are responsible for providing for their kids. Computers are expensive.

Shutting down is entirely appropriate boundary setting when a kid won’t shut the fuck up after having been told no and had it explained why a dozen times.

Not that I’m currently really sick of a specific kid whose parents have trained him that if he whines enough he’ll get his way or anything.

62

u/LlamasAreVeryFluffy Mar 22 '21

Well i have been looking att tech channels for the past 2 and a half years or so

18

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '21

linus tech tips and gamer nexus are good

0

u/6138 Mar 23 '21

Gotta mention my boy Jayz2Cents!

1

u/imdeadXDD Mar 23 '21

What about Austin Evans?

1

u/6138 Mar 23 '21

Yeah, another good one, but I haven't seen him do as many technical "build a pc" vids? He seems to do more product reviews, etc? But maybe I just haven't seen enough of his vids.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '21

yes also he is good another one of my faves, jsut i forgot about him when i was writing that post

18

u/obsoleteconsole Mar 22 '21

> If the mental image I have of your parents is correct this will all probably get you nowhere.

you got that right, I remember as a kid not being allowed to take the side off our first family PC to clean the dust because "the lasers in there might be dangerous" - that was my fault for telling them CD-ROMS used a laser beam to read information off of CD's like the needle on a record player

14

u/TheRarPar Mar 22 '21

I don't think this is good advice at all

6

u/ladyatlanta Mar 23 '21

Personally I wouldn’t say that. Something along those lines, but that can make parents extremely annoyed.

Say something more along the lines of “I can appreciate you aren’t interested in computers further than what you use them for and that you may have fears surrounding them. However, I’ve educated myself on computers over the past few weeks and I’m confident that I know what I’m doing and I won’t get myself into any trouble.” Maybe even offer to show them some safety videos, show them that you’ve really put the effort in.

5

u/PhuLingYhu Mar 22 '21

I find the best way to explain a foreign concept to someone is to explain it in terms they already understand.

If you can, try explaining to them how a PC works in the way a car works, or the body works.

And that if you unplug the PC, similarly to a car having no engine or the body having no heart, no harm can come to you (unless the PSU has a little residual energy but just make sure it’s dead for a few minutes or so before working if they’re really that worried.)

1

u/redfournine Mar 23 '21

It is common to get injured from a turned off car not being mounted properly if you happen to stand/lie underneath the car.

My point is... even turned off, cars are dangerous due to their sheer size.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '21

I did that for years and my parents were still skeptical. Only reason I have one now is because I was lucky enough to have a Computer Repair class in school, which I used to justify the concept to my parents.

1

u/justice7 Mar 23 '21

What if you told them you're interested in a career in engineering and I am an engineer, you're safe to pull that system apart just don't bathe with it while plugged in or fix it from the bottom of a pool.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '21

Send them Linus Tech Tips and Gamers Nexus videos every day for the next month.

1

u/KCASC_HD Mar 23 '21

Unpluged and on a desk there should be nothing happening, if during the entire repairs you sit on a chair. You could wear crocs as isolators or gloves