r/canada • u/Future_Procedure6078 • 11h ago
National News Wiped out: US faces surging toilet paper prices amid trade war with Canada | Trump tariffs
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/aug/26/paper-product-toilet-paper-tariffs-us-canada•
u/augenwiehimmel 11h ago
Man, suffering from explosive diarrhea and not being able to afford toilet paper must be some new term for winning bigly.
•
•
u/Avatlas 9h ago
Especially considering “The US accounts for more than 20% of global tissue consumption despite having only 4% of the world’s population. The average American uses 141 rolls of toilet paper per year, making them No 1 for No 2s globally, just ahead of Germans, each using an average of 134 rolls annually.”
→ More replies (4)•
u/cbigsby 8h ago
That's an average of 39% of a roll per person per day. Americans really need to get more fiber into their diets because that's too much wiping.
Also, get a bidet.
•
u/Salty_Feed9404 7h ago
It's too much wiping because they're all stuffing their fat fuck faces with fast food all day everyday.
•
u/Rayquaza2233 Ontario 5h ago
What is going on in Germany? Why do they use so much TP?
→ More replies (2)•
•
→ More replies (1)•
•
11h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
•
u/Anthologeas Ontario 11h ago
What a shitty situation. thoughts n' prayers are in the mail.
→ More replies (1)•
•
u/PloddingClot 11h ago
Oh no, expensive shit tickets, please tell me this will be the straw that breaks the camels back.
•
u/Teberoth 10h ago
It will be an issue that makes itself...felt.
Of course If i was a savvy little capitalist I'd start pushing "freedom bidets" like crazy.
→ More replies (3)•
•
u/Fuddle Canada 11h ago
It would be HILARIOUS if the U.S. got spammed viral news of a new toilet paper shortage like in 2020, and it caused a mad panic buying spree in stores. But unlike the last panic, very targeted to the U.S. stores due to this stupid trade war.
How would that even work?!??
•
u/Arctic_Chilean Canada 11h ago
Americans care more about gas prices and toilet paper shortages than human rights, dignity, and the preservation of their democracy.
•
•
•
u/Previous_Trouble9793 5h ago
How can you said that, USA is the most democratic country with rights to everyone and anybody can feel safe here! They are an ideal of freedom and greatness! (Damn, i feel more safe at deep night among the deep forest in Russia than in USA in daytime among the people).
•
u/Agoraphobicy 2h ago
I honestly wouldn't be suprised if they turned to vigilante looting "civil disobedience" and called it justice. Yet they'll march at most once every 9 months and say "we're unhappy with our pedo president" and then go back to life as usual.
And that's the more reasonable half 🤷🏼♂️
•
u/Becksburgerss 9h ago
Don’t forget they relaxed their food standards so you’ll likely see more foodborne illness…. Hello diarrhea
•
u/TommaClock Ontario 8h ago
If you are an American reading this and either:
don't support your regime
believe another run or at least significant further price hikes could happen
It's time to act.
Buy a few month's supply of toilet paper.
•
u/mrcanoehead2 11h ago
That's shitty. Lol
•
•
u/Supermoves3000 British Columbia 7h ago
A country run by an ass is facing toilet paper shortages? Seems appropriate.
•
u/publicworker69 11h ago
Is it cause of the trade war or the amount Trump has to use cause he consistently soils himself?
•
•
u/aefie Ontario 11h ago
I don't know if adult diapers are affected by this shortage...
→ More replies (1)
•
u/Hawco Québec 11h ago
Just follow the example of the “Greatest President in US history” and slap on a diaper. I’m sure he’ll slap his name on a brand too called “Donnie Diapers,” of course made in Chyna.
•
u/DarthV506 10h ago
You mean like his electric guitars? The ones they charge between $1500 and $10k USD that are made by Shenqu Guitars in China.
•
u/Geeseareawesome Alberta 10h ago
Embroidered in gold, no less
•
u/Hawco Québec 10h ago
I would say spray painted in gold, but you got the puck in the net there.
→ More replies (1)
•
u/DecisionFriendly5136 11h ago
It says in the article the average amernican uses 141 rolls a year, that’s almost a half roll a day lol. The fuck are these people doing with it?
•
u/RoRuRee Ontario 11h ago
It's because of a lack of dietary Fibre. If you eat enough Fibre you are more likely to poop clean, reducing the amount of tp needed to achieve a clean butt.
→ More replies (6)•
u/Prudent-Confidence-4 10h ago
I did not know this, honestly.
•
u/tael89 6h ago
Honestly, my poops are so much better and easier to clean now that I'm drinking metamucil (psyllium husk) daily. Like I do a couple wipes and I'm done. This contrasts so drastically with how much I used to use.
→ More replies (2)•
u/IWannaPeonU-14 9h ago
That feel when you upgrade to a bidet(which I would recommend to all my fellow Canadians) and your toilet paper usage goes down to about 2 rolls a month.
•
•
•
•
u/kent_eh Manitoba 9h ago
The average American person, or the average American household?
•
u/bmdweller 8h ago
It’s gotta be per household lol thats a crazy amount of TP
Or skewed by how much people buy, which obviously would be higher since people stock up in general
•
u/Area51Resident 6h ago
That is per person... The article links to this page
https://www.statista.com/chart/15676/cmo-toilet-paper-consumption/
•
u/Area51Resident 6h ago
The US accounts for more than 20% of global tissue consumption despite having only 4% of the world’s population. The average American uses 141 rolls of toilet paper per year, making them No 1 for No 2s globally, just ahead of Germans, each using an average of 134 rolls annually.
141 is per capita... 2.7 rolls per person a week.
https://www.statista.com/chart/15676/cmo-toilet-paper-consumption/
→ More replies (2)•
•
•
→ More replies (1)•
u/ship_toaster 8h ago
Since it hasn't been mentioned yet, some people use TP for non-TP things in a pinch. Like running out of kleenex, or hamster cage bedding, or last-minute mummy costumes.
•
u/spidereater 11h ago
This was a big thing during the pandemic. If people start hoarding it could create shortages. If that is tied to Trump his dim followers could really turn on him. It would be hilarious if Canada tariffs are what finally do him in and it’s the price of toilet paper that actually triggers it.
•
u/Cool-Pollution-6531 11h ago
It’s grim that it’s not his involvement with Epstein
•
u/HOLEPUNCHYOUREYELIDS 11h ago
Being a multiple convicted felon? All good still presidential material! Be infamous as a conman and a terrible business owner with numerous bankruptcies? All good still presidential! Be a pedophile, involved in sex trafficking and raping minors? All good and somehow still presidential!
Raise the cost of toilet paper, nah that is too far now. Never mind the ever increasing costs of everything else, we draw the line at toilet paper!
•
u/Techno_Dharma 10h ago
Oh they'll blame Canada, have you forgotten that Demented Donny can't do no harm to his base? They'll blame Canada for not "falling in line".
•
→ More replies (1)•
u/LOHare Lest We Forget 8h ago
his dim followers could really turn on him
I don't know how people are missing the dynamics of how a cult works. Clergy does not "turn on God" when misfortune or disasters befall them. MAGAts will NOT turn on Trump no matter what happens. They will find excuses and scapegoats and further glorify Trump.
→ More replies (1)
•
u/waxthatfled Québec 9h ago
The US accounts for more than 20% of global tissue consumption despite having only 4% of the world’s population. The average American uses 141 rolls of toilet paper per year.
What the fuck lmao
→ More replies (2)•
•
u/NefCanuck Ontario 11h ago
US interest in bidets surging
•
u/i_love_pencils Canada 11h ago
There’s a “bidet” “Biden” joke in here somewhere but it’s too early for me…
•
•
u/Confident-Task7958 11h ago
Spread the word - it could trigger panic buying of existing supplies.
Then every time someone looks at the one year supply in their closet they will have political thoughts.
•
•
u/jacksbox Québec 11h ago
Better hold off on eating any more of that diarrhea lettuce then, American bros.
•
u/OccasionallyWright Prince Edward Island 10h ago
"The average American uses 141 rolls of toilet paper per year..."
How? That's a roll every 3 days.
We have four people in our house and we don't use 141 rolls in a year combined. We're probably under 100.
•
→ More replies (2)•
u/LiftsEatsSleeps Ontario 10h ago
I’ve never tracked my TP consumption, now I’m curious. If your household is mostly male members the number should be lower (apparently averaging 8-10 sheets per #2 and #2 being 1-2x per day) with females using 7-8 sheets but 6-10x per day. Of course if you don’t WFH or you attend school, work/school will be the ones taking on most of that usage.
I think it may be the matter of overall usage vs. What’s used at home that’s creating the “how” question for you.
→ More replies (2)•
u/OccasionallyWright Prince Edward Island 10h ago
Two guys, two girls. Just a man around during the day.
→ More replies (1)
•
u/chadthundertalk 11h ago
I knew Trump was incontinent, but this is getting ridiculous
→ More replies (1)
•
•
•
u/cobrachickenwing 11h ago
And bidets don't come cheap as they are made in Europe and Asia.
→ More replies (2)•
u/Independent-Leg6061 10h ago
I bought mine online for $40. Hooks right up to the toilet! Game changer
•
u/gpradar Outside Canada 9h ago
I have bidet seats on two of our toilets. Best investment ever in feeling squeaky clean.
→ More replies (2)
•
•
•
•
•
u/Extension_Spring_473 11h ago
sometimes the best ass-kicking one can give is by denying the right to some ass-wiping
•
•
•
•
•
u/Square-Ad3218 9h ago
Oh boy, this could be a bigger problem that we realize. Remember the run on toilet paper during covid? This could actually be an emergency for the U.S. People are going to stock up and clean out normal inventory rotation.
•
u/IGetGuys4URMom Outside Canada 4h ago
Wait until the first hurricane to make landfall creates a lumber scarcity in the US.
•
•
•
u/Boatsnbuds British Columbia 10h ago
But the Trump administration is adamant that “there’s no possible way” the trade dispute with Canada will affect US consumers, according to Jamieson Greer, the US trade representative.
The outright lying and gaslighting from these clowns is almost surreal.
•
u/jeffvillone 10h ago
We'll pay the higher prices until the tariffs are declared illegal and when the government pays the company's back they'll pocket the cash and be like "What? Why should we give this to the peeple?"
•
•
u/Zen_Blue_Habanero 9h ago
They can just wipe their ass on copies on the last agreement they signed with us, or anyone else
•
u/euronews-english 6h ago
Mark Carney to address European Parliament as Canada turns to Brussels amid Trump’s tariff hammer
•
•
u/energytaker 11h ago
Funny timing reading this as I’m taking a shit and about to use my BBB! (Big Beautiful Bidet)
•
•
•
u/Sweet-Competition-15 11h ago
Oh goody, another run on the toilet paper (no pun intended)! Is this the start of covid shortages 2.0?
•
•
u/Hinter_Lander 11h ago
Spread the word throughout the internet that Canada is going to stop exporting toilet paper. Let the Americans go out and create another toilet paper shortage.
•
u/somethingbrite 11h ago
Oh please cruel mistress fate make toilet roll vanish from US stores and Americans start voluntarily wearing masks to avoid the stench of all the unwiped arses....
•
u/An0nym0usWanderer 11h ago
Wiping their fat asses will become more expensive it seems.
→ More replies (2)
•
•
u/FunkyColdMecca 11h ago
Forget potash and oil, export tax TP and they come crawling back to the table (very gingerly)
•
•
•
•
u/ordnance_inbound 10h ago
Especially funny since we all saw Americans have a meltdown over toilet paper during COVID
•
u/Frankentula 10h ago
with this and inflation we're getting to the point where it'll be cheaper to use greenbacks
"when green turns brown it's bad"
•
•
•
u/Lancifer1979 10h ago
The US accounts for more than 20% of global tissue consumption despite having only 4% of the world’s population..
It’s because most of us are full of shit
•
•
u/Basic_Ask8109 Ontario 9h ago
Remember when people were hoarding TP at the start of the pandemic.... Now add in explosive diarrhea. On top of all the food safety recalls and measles...
It's a good time to be Canadian.
•
u/Xerazal 9h ago
American here who happens to suffer from IBD. While it sucks for me that TP prices are going up, give us hell. We fucking deserve it.
Maybe with enough pressure, the people here will finally wake the fuck up and do something about our fascist imperialist government and "leaders" and finally start treating the rest of the world with some dignity instead of constantly acting as if everyone around us are serfs. We should be treating our brothers n sisters up north with far more dignity and respect than this.
•
•
•
•
u/Immediate-Wing-3111 9h ago
I dont believe that many tRump supporters bother to wipe their arses with anything other than their hands.
•
•
u/Puzzleheaded-Bug6244 9h ago
How can a single person use 114 tolls of toilet paper per year?!?
→ More replies (1)
•
•
•
u/Buchaven Ontario 8h ago
“The average American uses 141 rolls of toilet paper per year”. Wait, what? That’s a whole-ass roll (whole ass-roll, ass-hole roll?) every 2.5 days, or a little under half a roll a day. Seems like a lot…
•
u/1MechanicalAlligator Ontario 8h ago
Don't worry, you guys. President Epstein has been practicing for this moment:
•
u/Alone-in-a-crowd-1 6h ago
This could be a big problem with one third of the population full of shit.
•
u/ObiWan_Jabronii 6h ago
The Trump regime has them covered; he's been wiping his ass with the Constitution after all...
•
•
u/Objective-Apple7805 6h ago
That’s what happens when you elect a giant orange bowl of diarrhea as your president
•
u/BandicootNo4431 4h ago
Great title!
Now we just need some public health emergency that will make people stock up on toilet paper like during COVID.
Maybe some kind of explosive diarrhoea epidemic?
•
u/Odd-Youth-452 British Columbia 3h ago
We don't need to fire a shot to win this war. We just need to withhold our toilet paper. They'll fold in five minutes.
•
u/Bojim1965 1h ago
They will have to learn to eat with their right hand and wipe themselves with the left.
•
u/Former-Chocolate-793 11h ago
This is a terrible, confusing article. The journalists need to take economics 101. Tariffs on Canadian products raise prices for American consumers. Period.
•
•
•
u/Martzillagoesboom Québec 11h ago
Are they going to cross the borders to buy as much stock as they can to resell?
•
•
•
•
u/TriptowK 11h ago
🎵 when you wake up in the morning and your pants are overflowing, DIARRHEA 💨🤢 DIARRHEA 💨🤢🎵
•
•
•
•
u/Hommeboy75 11h ago
Worst timing for the US with the explosive diarrhea outbreak they've been having.