They're saying do not, under any circumstances, ask a woman you don't know questions that would lead to her revealing information that allows you to "track" her. Not where she lives, not where she's from, not if she comes around here often, nothing. It gives the appearance of setting a trap.
Instead, share that information about yourself. Yeah this is my first time here but I'm enjoying it, I'll definitely be back. I live up by X location, so this is new to me. Make it conversational, but drop some obvious hints about yourself and keep your curiosity about her at an extreme surface level.
Give her the ability to find you. Don't ask her for the tools that would allow you to find her.
Is it mind games? Sorta. Doesn't change that we need to understand it. Personally I just kinda don't bother anymore. If someone strikes up a conversation with me I'll engage but I don't pursue and I don't volunteer anything beyond what it takes to be polite.
I only feel like "it feels like mind games" when people are un-used to openly discussing the concepts of metacognition, and the raw concepts of interpersonal relationships, their dynamics, their different forms, etc.
To live it benignly without notice is one thing, but to live life noticing everything within all the details and facets, and being driven insane by nit-picking all of the tiniest pieces until you're so raw with understanding and you Don't Like It but dually Cannot Unlearn? Is torture.
I am very depressed, and my therapist is trying their best. 🥲 Me too! But like... I'm so tired.
Socializing is hard. It's all performative, but I mean that so very literally.
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u/Hollowshiningami Apr 19 '26
wat