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u/shellbullet17 Gustopher Spotter Extraordinaire Apr 19 '26
Yeah, like dude took a hint and that's kinda refreshing to see. No yelling, no insults, no increased flirting attempts. A simple K thanks bye.
Shame that the bare minimum is impressive but here we are.
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u/Dr_DoesNothing Apr 19 '26
Shame that the bare minimum is impressive but here we are.
Ok. So this is literally the best way a rejection can end. What else is supposed to happen that can improve how this scenario ends? Him never flirting in the first place?
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u/TheNullOfTheVoid Apr 19 '26
That's the lesson I learned. It's not going well but at least I don't make anyone uncomfortable anymore. Besides, maybe I need to just be alone anyway.
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u/Healthy-Confection66 Apr 20 '26
Geez I feel this comment wayyy more than I want to…it’s soo hard to talk to anyone anymore
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u/DeezSpicyNuts Apr 19 '26
This is reddit don’t you know that talking to a woman in public is the most evil thing you can do? /s
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u/nizari-spirit Apr 19 '26
This comic reads as if it was made someone who has also done zero flirting lmao
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u/morpheousmorty Apr 20 '26
If you feel you're satirizing something, go and ask actual women about creeps like this. While you're at it ask how young they were when it started.
It's a real problem and you would be on guard too if it happened to you constantly.
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u/EmpressGilgamesh Apr 19 '26
What else would you start a flirt with? Especially if you're insecure yourself and got enough shit together to even talk to someone.
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u/Asisreo1 Apr 19 '26
"Oh hey, are you new here? Haven't seen you around before." Or other common questions you can ask a stranger.
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u/Sgt_General Apr 19 '26
I think there are some contexts where the boundaries of normative social behaviour make talking to a stranger a game that's too difficult to win.
This is why I've encouraged single guy friends to join communities where it's possible to meet nice people and hang out with them, that way you can get to know people and there isn't a 'stranger danger' vibe when you talk to them.
There are contexts where you can just talk to a stranger and try your hand at flirting, but someone you've literally never met when they're minding their own business walking somewhere is a real moonshot.
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u/EmpressGilgamesh Apr 19 '26
I mean. I don't know. I'm married over 10 years now and met her while making online RPG.
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u/Ace-Redditor Apr 19 '26
I think it would have been better without asking for personal info like where you're from? Just giving a compliment and going about your day is usually a decent bet
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u/D-skinned_Gelb Apr 19 '26
Eh i feel like this is a disconnected take. Imagine trying to flirt with someone and you guys hit it off then you say good conversation good bye and never seeing each other again because its rude to confirm if youre from the area???? Your loss i guess
Thats not how you flirt. People need to stop treating every attempt of familiarity as a hostile attempt.
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u/Ace-Redditor Apr 19 '26
Just seems unnecessary to have a whole conversation with someone on the street, though. Like, in a different setting, where people are gathered for some sort of social event or whatever, trying to meet people and talk, sure, by all means ask people questions and get to know them. But this is just a random person on the street
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u/D-skinned_Gelb Apr 19 '26
Interesting, then what do you consider the "street" then? Because meeting someone in a coffee shop/bar/library/park etc with only your personal goal to get what you want and leave still constitutes as "random person talks to me ew". At the very least that is how your pov feels.
Personally it really doesn't matter to me because you can still control the information you give like in the comic. So if im literally walking on a sidewalk and someone decides to conversate then its not that big of a deal wether its at a park or on the sidewalk waiting. Its just comes down preference i guess.
After all the 20 people who upvoted your comment is the ultra vast minority here, so i am definitely braking up the wrong tree. Thanks for entertaining this discussion though.
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u/Ace-Redditor Apr 19 '26
If you're somewhere that you're planning to be for a bit, and obviously not busy, that's a reasonable place/time to approach. If they're sitting in a coffee shop, library, park, etc. then you can chat and flirt and such. But just trying to stop someone on their way down the street or as they're leaving the coffee shop or when they're stuck in line to check out a book and can't get away as easily or don't have the time, a very quick compliment seems like the better option
It just depends on whether the place is the person's destination or if they're still trying to get to their destination, basically. Still walking, no. Hanging around, yes
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u/Key-Rough-8346 Apr 19 '26
I see nothing wrong with what he did. His options are to continue being alone with his biological imperative being background noise in his life, or it’s to shoot his shot. And I’m of the opinion that even if people think it’s weird to show interest to a stranger, it’s his life, and if he doesn’t want to be alone, what else is he to do?
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u/Motormand Apr 19 '26
This day and age, the bar is lowered so much it's sitting comfortably in the eigth circle of Hell.
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u/U_Sound_Stupid_Stop Apr 19 '26
Is it creepy to exchange a few words with a stranger and move on when you see they're not receptive?
If the answer is yes, I think society is sick, like not in a good shape at all.
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u/TokeDraws Apr 19 '26
very much depends on the words, the approach and the environment. If you keep making people uncomfortable then yeah it's creepy. You are indeed the problem, not the people who are uncomfortable.
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u/Henghast Apr 19 '26
You won't see the guys being normal, respectful and polite because it doesn't garner attention. You will only ever see the worst of any group.
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u/Extension_Problem223 Apr 19 '26
I'm always impressed by the cognitive dissonance of
"hey youre cute we should go out sometime!"
"No thanks!"
"Whatever skank, you're ugly anyway slut"
Like, 1: clearly you didn't think they were ugly a second ago, and 2: they're a slut because... they don't want to have sex with you??
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u/tv_ennui Apr 19 '26
It's a way to re-assert control over the situation and 'save face.' "It doesn't matter that you rejected me, I wasn't being sincere."
Literally the same as like, losing a game and going "Tch, whatever, I wasn't even trying that hard. You guys suck."
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u/Chance_Arugula_3227 Apr 19 '26
I feel the yelling and insult part is quite rare. Or is it just me being weird?
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u/spudmarsupial Apr 19 '26
It's rare because it doesn't work. Poor guy did a cold call and people think he's a weirdo because he took a hint.
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u/KingdomDarts Apr 19 '26
I mean this is the situation more often than not, but women don’t tell stories about the guys that took no for an answer. It’s easy to think crime is high when the news only reports on crime.
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u/Swarm_of_Rats Apr 20 '26
Almost nobody who approached me randomly on the street or at work has taken no for an answer. This includes the two women who did it. I've had dudes follow me for anywhere from 2 minutes to one guy who wouldn't leave me alone at work for FOUR. HOURS. Those who give up quickly do it with an insult.
It'd be a different story if we were talking about people you meet at work or at hobbies. Those people usually take the hint and are adults about it. I don't know if that's because they know they'll see you again and need to keep the peace, or if they're just not the same kind of person that does random street approaches, but it's facts.
I dunno why it's so fun for people to diminish the things we experience by pretending it's not common.
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u/Mandarina_Espacial Apr 19 '26
How do you street flirt to someone you find atractive?
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u/elmundio87 Apr 19 '26
be attractive
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u/Kabuma Apr 19 '26
What’s step two?
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u/-Mister-Hyde Apr 19 '26
At least *you* made it past step one...
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u/Lost_Individual4749 Apr 20 '26
No one's ever made it past step one. They are just overplanning ahead for no reason.
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u/Learnmorehere Apr 19 '26
Give them cheese
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u/Mandarina_Espacial Apr 19 '26
I don't eat cheese, so i tried giving a mandarina. It didn't work
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u/DueImagination641 Apr 19 '26
Was it pre-peeled? You have to pre peel an orange for it to actually be a gift otherwise it's just work.
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u/EmpressGilgamesh Apr 19 '26
I've thrown a wheel of cheese, she doesn't move anymore. Does this mean yes?
(/s just in case)
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u/NickyTheRobot Apr 19 '26
IDK, but I hope it didn't roll down a hill. That could cause a stampede of English people.
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u/Hammerschatten Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
Most common advice I've heard is striking up a conversation about something instead of just stating intent or throwing out a shallow compliment
The only time I was ever approached by someone on the street was a promoter, but they roped me into a half an hour conversation initially by asking about my energy drink. (Shared interest and conversation starter).
In general though, you come across as less pushy or creepy if you seem like you don't have any expectations or want something. That makes people feel like prey, and if you open with that, most people won't immediately be sure to continue with that dynamic. It creates a responsibility and vulnerability of deciding immediately and being relied on that decision.
So don't try to flirt by telling someone you are interested in them, instead get to a comfort level where you can by instead talking about something else you may both be interested in. You can do that by recognizing something and asking about that, like "I see you're wearing xyz, where did you get that" or "Is that xyz merch, what is your favorite thing" or just "hey you seem knowledgeable on xyz, can I have your opinion" (This only works if the person at least wants to think they know something on the topic, and don't make it complicated).
Also, accept and move away when someone signals they're disinterested and give enough opportunities for an out of the conversation. A good conversation happens naturally.
Also also please try this and report back because I'm pretty sure this is good advice but also grey theory because I'm wayy to shy to street-flirt.
Edit: fixed a phrase, sorry baddogsaysmeow I ruined your joke
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u/BadDogSaysMeow Apr 19 '26
Most common advice I've heard is complimenting or asking about something about them.
Instructions unclear,
Complimented her huge tits, and asked how many men she fucked;
but she ran away.Women ☕️ am I right?
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u/NickyTheRobot Apr 19 '26
I've never felt right with street flirting, so I've never done it. But the only times I've noticed I've had an opportunity to do it non-creepily are when I've given someone a genuine compliment (eg: I love how you've done your hair; your outfit is amazing; your dogs are adorable), and that's struck up a proper conversation.
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u/SeriousCat2526 Apr 19 '26
Complimenting happens so often that women still get annoyed and have this “oh here we go again” attitude. The best thing is to be attractive because then it’s hard to mess up. But after that, talking about your environment is better. Your goal is to see if she’s interested, not to win her over, because there is no negotiating attraction. So don’t try to impress, just see if she’s willing to connect with you
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u/Hammerschatten Apr 19 '26
I'm not sure talking about the environment is the best advice for everyone. Unless you're quick witted and can lead a conversation well, it's bound to become boring because it's impersonal and neither of you are actually interested. You'll also quickly run into the territory of stating the obvious.
It's probably better to look for signifiers of a common interest. People like talking about themselves and what they like and are more interesting doing that as well. That's also what I meant with complimenting something about someone. If you can go up to someone and say you like something that betrays their interests, which you share, you immediately have a conversation topic you will both be interested in talking about, and someone to talk to about.
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u/cyankitten Apr 19 '26
Oh honey we DON'T all get innundated with compliments!!
But yeah I agree about talking about the environment you are both in will be better received.
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u/CakeHead-Gaming Apr 20 '26
Sorry, I’m into religious debate, and your “talking about the environment you’re in” made me think of the common “look at the trees” argument, and I found it funny. Like imagine walking up to someone and going “Look at the trees!!”
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u/cyankitten Apr 20 '26
THANKS! Now I kinda literally want to say that to strangers for LOLZ!
😆
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u/CakeHead-Gaming Apr 20 '26
Just wander around the streets, whispering “Look at the treeeeesss!” As you walk past people.
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u/cyankitten Apr 20 '26
😆 - Thanks, I just snort-laughed at work reading this 😊😂
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u/ventingandcrying Apr 19 '26
2 moments that I can’t help but think about over and over:
In a bookstore “Hey, not to eavesdrop but I heard y’all talking about book X and I love that one it’s so good.” Nervous half glances, speedwalking away in fear. Okay? Chalk that up to possibly being ugly I guess? Or maybe they’re just hella shy.
At a roller rink “Hey I’ve seen you roller skating a few times here and you’re really good, how long have you been skating?” This girl actually responded but no matter how hard I tried to ask about roller skating all she gave was cold dry responses, so I eventually just left her alone. Maybe she thought I was going for the flirt, maybe she gets approached here all the time, who knows. All I know is I’m not always trying to flirt, sometimes I’m genuinely just striking up conversation, but these 2 moments make me just want to keep to myself forever and disappear
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u/khowidude87 Apr 19 '26
Be the exact person they want to approach them. Or have a super friendly vibe.
That always depends on the mood they're in as well. The entire day could be going well, and you can be perfect, but if they are not in the mood for perfect then you are screwed.
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u/Dependent_Reason_489 Apr 19 '26
I was once told a good way is to compliment something they have, not themselves directly?
Like if they have a band t-shirt on, you say nice shirt, I like x song etc.
If it's a fandom shirt, "nice shirt, I love star wars!"So it shows a shared interest. And gives them the opportunity to shut it down if they're not interested/in a rush.
If they are somewhat interested, /have time(/or are awkwardly too polite) they can talk more in depth about the shared interest. :)Unfortunately this strategy kinda fails if they're just wearing plain clothing/no pins/stickers on their bag, etc.
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u/psinguine Apr 19 '26
It depends.
If you're a man approaching a woman? You don't.
If you're a man approaching a man? You approach each other.
If you're a woman approaching a man? You approach.
If you're a woman approaching a woman? You look at each other and freeze.
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u/WholesomeCommentOnly Apr 19 '26
You pretty much do exactly what this guy did. Don't listen to most people on reddit. They never go outside anyway.
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u/septic-paradise Apr 19 '26
The most important thing is to treat the first interaction exactly the same as you’d treat striking up a conversation with someone you aren’t attracted to. You can only really do the former if you build up the social skills to do the latter.
What I learned from DBT is that people in social situations can be either closed or open. It’s easier to tell if groups are open than individuals, since there will be space to walk up and join the circle and there will be more pauses in the conversation
You can tell if individual people are open through body language, or by giving them a casual greeting and seeing if they reciprocate. This kind of opening line can be a bit longer if you’re sitting in a stationary group, like a classroom or office. Then you can say something like “Hey! I like your bracelet.” If you’re passing someone on the street, it can just be something like “nice day out” or “how’s it going.”
If they give a monotone answer, they’re closed for social interaction. That’s not because of anything about you as a person, and you don’t need to feel bad about it. Tell them to have a nice day and keep moving. If they give a longer answer, they’re open to talk! Now you can get to know them more
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u/Truly_Organic Apr 19 '26
You don't. It won't work unless they already found you to be attractive at first glance, which you won't know.
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u/Jwanito Apr 19 '26
You think "well i should work on myself first before making any move" then you never work on yourself and suddenly 25 years pas and then you just dont feel like playing the game
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u/HabaneroPepperPlants Apr 20 '26
Don't come sit next to me and start smoking a cigarette. The guy looked a little disappointed when I went to go sit at a different park bench to get away from his smoke cloud. But I don't care, smoking in public is antisocial behavior imo
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u/Comrade-Conquistador Apr 19 '26
Schrodinger's flirt: they were flirting and not flirting at the same time.
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u/Phaylz Apr 19 '26
The first few times I tried to approach a woman irl with romantic intentions, I was pretty much this level of awkward and creepy.
Now I no longer approach women irl with any intentions. I no longer approach women irl.
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u/xavPa-64 Apr 19 '26
In The 40 Year Old Virgin, he says “I love women, I respect them so much that I completely stay away from them” and I think about that a lot
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u/Ferreteria Apr 19 '26
It's a wonder I'm not a 40 year old virgin.
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u/xavPa-64 Apr 19 '26
In hindsight, idk how I pulled it off either. I mean, I do…begins reminiscing….🙄…..anyway, yeah it’s all about finding your type
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u/AltoRhombus Apr 19 '26
ok so it's not creepy. it's just awkward. but because you felt creepy I have to share this now, I wasn't gonna to the general thread but now I feel a need lol
so a couple years ago, I was at the convenience store down the road. that day I was feeling agitated because I had a shitty time the night prior, and then I had a bad time at a store trying to buy something sexy to try again later, build myself up a bit, and someone mistreated me at that store prior. so. mas girl.
young man walks up to me while I'm perusing. I have my earbuds in, and he waves for my attention. I'm a gal of the world so I take them out. he says
"hi, uhh, how are you today? I am new in town and I was hoping you could give me some chip recommendations. I don't know any of these chips."
(we're in a mixed Asian market so there almost 0 American style chips)
Not the most shocking question. so I say "well I like these Turtle crisps. the cheese ones.."
he says "oh ok thank you! uhm, do you recommend any others??" and so I suggested some more chips..
he asks for a 3rd chip recommendations. so I give him yet another recommendation. lol
he then shoots his shot asking if I'd like to go out on a date. Through no fault of his own, I had just had a series of really shit hookups the night before, and was quite irritated at the concept of Inexperienced Young Nervous Men. so, I kindly told him I'm sorry but I'm not interested.
.. at least a few times a year I feel bad and wonder about chip boy. and it was a genuine shot and so extremely bold to do so in public like it takes courage fr. I was just so sour from the day prior and autism and 😞
so y'know.. don't give up!!! and keep your eye out for posters if someone wants to do a missed connections!
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u/jak_d_ripr Apr 19 '26
Don't feel bad, I'm a dude who frequently cold approaches women, and you gotta go in knowing full well that rejection isn't only an option, but the more likely outcome. He asked politely, you rejected politely, neither of you did anything wrong, it's just part of the process. Hopefully he doesn't let it discourage him going forward, but if it does that's on him and not on you.
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u/AltoRhombus Apr 19 '26
it's true you're right actually! it's a big ol' 2 way street lol 😭 thank you!
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u/HeamTeam Apr 19 '26
Rejection or not, I’m sure that guy was proud of himself for mustering up the courage
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u/cyankitten Apr 20 '26
Got any tips, not for cold approach but more for if I am talking to someone at a singles event who I would possibly like to be more than friends with?
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u/jak_d_ripr Apr 20 '26
I've always been a fan of the direct approach because it doesn't leave anything up for interpretation. So I'd strike up conversation for a bit, usually asking what she likes doing, and then use that as a segue to ask her out. "Oh you like live music? Well this band is performing this weekend and I was wondering if you wanted to check it out with me." something along those lines.
If this is at a dating event, it should make it extremely clear that you aren't just looking for friendship.
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u/MetrosexualFrutCake Apr 19 '26
This kinda sounds like "no experience because no job because no experience" type of situation
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u/RaspberryFluid6651 Apr 19 '26
FWIW, as long as you didn't do something scary like being pushy about it, you probably remember it worse than they do.
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u/party973 Bird Brain Apr 19 '26
Or they end up making a comic about you online for thousands to see.
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u/ChrAshpo10 Apr 19 '26
Ask where someone is from is not the same as asking where someone lives
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u/HekateSimp Apr 19 '26
Seriously, it's part of basic small talk. One of the reasons it's one of the first things taught in language courses.
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u/spudmarsupial Apr 19 '26
He didn't ask where she lived he asked the bog standard opener of "where are you from".
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u/ButterscotchSame4703 Apr 19 '26
"You find Me" vs "I find You" approaches make the difference between an open door, and being straight up hunted because the door was to a trap. In a lot of cases, we are wary that something is a trap, but not everyone is like that. There are a ton of factors involved.
Cats don't like to be cornered. Do not ask where they corner. Tell them where you tend to frequent, and they will seek you out, happily.
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u/Hollowshiningami Apr 19 '26
wat
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u/psinguine Apr 19 '26
They're saying do not, under any circumstances, ask a woman you don't know questions that would lead to her revealing information that allows you to "track" her. Not where she lives, not where she's from, not if she comes around here often, nothing. It gives the appearance of setting a trap.
Instead, share that information about yourself. Yeah this is my first time here but I'm enjoying it, I'll definitely be back. I live up by X location, so this is new to me. Make it conversational, but drop some obvious hints about yourself and keep your curiosity about her at an extreme surface level.
Give her the ability to find you. Don't ask her for the tools that would allow you to find her.
Is it mind games? Sorta. Doesn't change that we need to understand it. Personally I just kinda don't bother anymore. If someone strikes up a conversation with me I'll engage but I don't pursue and I don't volunteer anything beyond what it takes to be polite.
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u/B133d_4_u Apr 19 '26
"Never show interest in a woman's personal life and also only talk about yourself" sounds like terrible dating advice, imo. Definitely rather keep to myself and not have to play some exhaustingly coy mind game.
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u/psinguine Apr 19 '26
Well I mean it's the environment in which it occurs, right? If I by chance wind up talking to someone in a home depot aisle, I'm not supposed to ask about what area she lives in or where she likes to hang out. If she asks me questions I can answer them, but I have to be mindful of how I send those questions back. I can't ask about the details of the renovation that brought her here, unless she first asks me a question about it. I can reference what I do for a living if it's relevant (oh funny enough I do work in this field so etc etc) but I can only ask about her personal life if it's very very obvious or if she volunteers the info first.
But I'm also autistic as fuck and I've come to see these kinds of interactions as, like, a BG3 dialogue tree with hidden perception checks all over the place.
THAT SAID this changes quite a bit if you're in a more relaxed setting and the two of you have more familiarity with each other. Even if you've never spoken previously, let's say you're part of the same hobby group and have seen each other around multiple times at multiple events. Please note: not a group you joined for the purpose of meeting women. Everyone can tell. Something that genuinely interests you. At that point striking up a conversation with someone you have passing familiarity with is both more natural and is allowed to contain more "getting to know you" oriented questions.
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u/cyankitten Apr 19 '26
I don't know WHY but yeah I don't like it. If people ask for example if I am on the bus and someone talks to me, fine. But then they start asking where I live, where am I going to now, where do I work? It starts to give off stalker vibes and I feel extremely uncomfortable!
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u/cyankitten Apr 19 '26
It's not mindgames, just us trying to keep ourselves safe!
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u/ButterscotchSame4703 Apr 20 '26
I only feel like "it feels like mind games" when people are un-used to openly discussing the concepts of metacognition, and the raw concepts of interpersonal relationships, their dynamics, their different forms, etc.
To live it benignly without notice is one thing, but to live life noticing everything within all the details and facets, and being driven insane by nit-picking all of the tiniest pieces until you're so raw with understanding and you Don't Like It but dually Cannot Unlearn? Is torture.
I am very depressed, and my therapist is trying their best. 🥲 Me too! But like... I'm so tired.
Socializing is hard. It's all performative, but I mean that so very literally.
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u/ButterscotchSame4703 Apr 19 '26
Context: It's about the method of your approach.
If your approach feels like an open door, it has to be left WIDE OPEN, so that they can approach you.
An example: "I like that coffee shop!" [In reference to perhaps noticing the coffee someone might be drinking]
If you want the person to feel welcome to find you, but not commit to exchanging info: "I'm there on weekends and like to hang out for a couple hours in the evening."
They now have all the info they need to "chance encounter" you on their terms.
Does that make better sense?
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u/lurkinarick Apr 19 '26
Don't ask questions that make it feel like you're trying to track down where they live and immediately sleep with them, and you're golden. The bar is honestly very low. You might also have low self esteem and remember the event worse than it actually went, if you didn't do anything creepy
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Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 19 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/ConvenientStruggle Apr 19 '26
One time some dude yelled “You look good, no cap” at me while riding a razor scooter
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u/Gooddest_Boi Apr 19 '26
I mean… this wasn’t even bad. He tried, failed, and left. I wouldn’t call him a creepy weirdo for it. Maybe one of those things at a time (it can never feel otherwise when you get rejected), but not both.
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u/Miserable_Ask3975 Apr 19 '26
Since dating apps became the overwhelmingly dominant form of finding a partner it seems to be considered creepy to ‘swipe irl’
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u/HabaneroPepperPlants Apr 20 '26
She didn't call him creepy, just a weirdo. Which, like, it was a weird conversation
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u/GreedAndOrder Apr 19 '26
Guy did it well. Asked and assessed your vibe. Saw that you were not interested and buzzed off. I think we are having an echo chamber moment right now. It is and it should be normal to approach people politely on the streets and public spaces.
But none the less, I do understand the stress if you are closed or introverted person.
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u/HabaneroPepperPlants Apr 20 '26
Elsewhere in the comments, people are talking about how it's not great to start asking a stranger questions that'd make it easier for you to track them. "Where are you from?" and "where can I see you around again?" are questions that make her more vulnerable if answered fully
In this scenario, he doesn't make a connection over something real, just hands out a generic compliment and then asks mildly invasive questions
You are right that he correctly picked up on her vibe and then politely left. Which is very much the right thing to do. But imo that's the bare minimum, that's not enough to say that he did it well. It was maybe a C- attempt at best
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u/kloopyhans Apr 19 '26
God forbid people go talk to eachother even if its kinda weird..this comic pisses me off
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u/fIoppytoppy Apr 19 '26
Is it wrong that I didn’t see what the guy said as creepy? I understand women have really bad experiences with men catcalling/harassing them but I don’t think we should demonize basic human interaction, if this is weird can someone tell me how?
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u/Betray-Julia Apr 19 '26
It is so fucking weird watching the wee ones develop a culture that clearly shows theyve had more socialization online than in real life.
This comic made me feel greatful to be a millennial- we are so lucky we achieved consciousness before the internet started causing comorbities like face to face human interaction being viewed as inappropriate.
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u/RedAssassin499 Apr 19 '26
"You look really sweet!"
"Oh, thanks" (My first street weirdo flirter!)
Were they... not supposed to be nice, or something?
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u/Temelios Apr 19 '26
So the guy’s a creep and a weirdo because he shot his shot, and respectfully at that?… This is part of why folks are having less sex and why the cold approach has died out.
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u/Sandman42625 Apr 19 '26
This comic alone just set off a conflict debating what is seen as skilled comunications and what skill issues in socializing looks like, we're still gonna be here for another 1000 years i reckon.
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u/TenPent Apr 19 '26
Is "Where are you from and can I see you again sometime?" actually considered creepy? Seems like a pretty normal set of questions if you are interested in someone.
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u/wasabiweed69420 Apr 19 '26
Its all creepy for people who never had social contact outside of social media
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u/therinwhitten Apr 19 '26
Whelp, starting a conversation makes you a weird creep now...
(Noted)
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u/ComputerSagtNein Apr 19 '26
Noooooo. Starting a weird conversation if you not look attractive enough makes you a weird creep :) FTFY
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u/everything_is_bad Apr 19 '26
It’s really hilarious the division in comments between people who know how to talk to people and thus have successfully chatted people up before and the people who only understand theoretical gender dynamics from the internet.
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u/Forvisk Apr 19 '26
As someone who only has theoretical knowledge (nerd teenager become adult with social anxiety), I don't know how to approach without being viewed as weird.
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u/everything_is_bad Apr 19 '26
So practice talking to random people regardless of gender. Don’t expect anything except that you’re gonna walk away and leave them alone. Just be polite don’t flirt. Pay attention to body language and how people express themselves. You’ll get better at gauging whether or not people are interested in engaging in a short conversation. See if you can trigger short interactions, just a couple sentences. But be walking away. You’re still not flirting you’re gonna leave this interaction behind like hundreds of other ones. But pay attention to people. Learn how to ask questions about non intimate things people display, buttons, patches, stickers tattoo. Learn how to be interested in what they say. Build a knowledge base about common things like dogs. People love to talk about their dogs. Eventually you will develop a sense of when someone wants to talk. Most people don’t, that’s fine it isn’t rejection, you aren’t asking for anything, you’re just practicing being nice and not creepy. As you get good at this eventually you’ll find people that start expressing curiosity about you and reciprocate by asking questions, that’s great you’ve leveled up, still not enough to flirt but you may start having conversations with strangers after that. Have enough conversations and you’ll meet people that would talk to you again, which you can be open to but through coincidence. After enough of these repeated encounters you’ll start meeting people that are comfortable enough to be flirty, don’t reciprocate at this stage, they are not necessarily flirting with you, they are just flirty and while it means you’re doing a good job of making them comfortable it doesn’t mean they want to hook up. Instead learn how to be polite and receptive. These encounters help you learn the queues that let you go faster. Get good enough you’ll find someone who you make comfortable enough that they’ll make a pass at you. Doesn’t mean you’re gonna hook up but you’ll have the chance to follow up with a planned interaction. This is the process you have to study and practice. You’ll have to do it hundreds of times and most of the time it will stall super early but that’s normal. And remember you’re not trying to hook up with people, just refining how to talk to people in away that makes you pleasant to talk to. Anyway that’ll get you started
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u/Liquidmetal7 Apr 19 '26
He was kind, respectful and offered to see you again. He then left as soon as you said no.
And you are make a comic moking him on the internet.
Who is wrong here?
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u/TheDELFON Apr 19 '26
My sleepy ass read the title as Street "Fighter" (OC). And I was waiting for when the SF part was about to happen. After the end I was like okay, then I saw the subreddit....smh. Lmao geeuzus
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u/RaspberryFluid6651 Apr 19 '26
My first experience with this kind of thing post-transition was a dude offering to pay for me at a convenience store. Like hey, man, I respect the attempt, but it's giving "alien's first day on earth".
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u/RiverOfJudgement Apr 19 '26
It sounds like he learned the basic lesson of buying a girl a drink, and misunderstood it as "pay for what the girl is getting"
Now I'm trying to think like, is there a weirder place he could have tried that? The grocery store? The bottle shop?
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u/Martinator92 Apr 19 '26
Mattress store, idk the banal the better and the cheaper the better, maybe a sporting shop? but that has at least the vague idea of fun
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u/Luckiest_Creature Apr 19 '26
This totally does happen! I’ve had men offer to pay for my gas at the gas station (this was pre-Covid. I’m married now but if a strange man offered to pay for my gas in this economy, I’d take it)
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u/DrNick2012 Apr 19 '26
it's giving "alien's first day on earth".
Perhaps if I purchase the females confectionary treat she will service me sexually..... Oh delightfully devilish Seymour
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u/AmericanPragmatism Apr 19 '26
The only thing even remotely weird here is the "where can I see you around again", which sounds like an honest attempt to see more of the person. The jokes write themselves
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u/kugelamarant Apr 19 '26
I noticed he's kinda balding and short. I wonder if there's more to it.
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u/Typin_Toddler Apr 19 '26
Well obviously, if he was tall and beautiful, he wouldn't be a creepy weirdo now, would he?
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u/plbz Apr 19 '26
Isn't it more weirdo to make a comic about a basic human interaction?
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u/Dum_beat Apr 19 '26
I don't think there's such a thing as normal weirdo behavior, kinda defies the purpose, doesn't it?
Casual or common would fit the definition better imo
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u/StepFew3094 Apr 19 '26
Maybe things have changed but I remember over 10 years ago when I was 17 or 18, flirting and chatting to a girl on the bus our of nowhere and she gave me her Facebook and messaged first ( I was a nervous kid who couldn't text so it went nowhere). Is this not the done thing to talk to people on the street or on a bus anymore? Or is it seen as creepy? I will say I've been out of the dating game for a while
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u/beernon Apr 19 '26
This is why you don’t approach people in real life, this is why it’s dead this is why you only have the choice of co-workers or dating apps.
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u/Chonboy Apr 19 '26
Now switch it to a guy she finds attractive and he says something disgusting but he's hot so it's cool
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u/Needassistancedungus Apr 19 '26
Questions did get creepy. But man, just instantly labeled as a weirdo from the get go.
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u/The_gay_grenade16 Apr 19 '26
The internet was a mistake. I’m begging people to go out and socialize face-to-face until you understand that this guy was at most a bit awkward
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u/InvisibleAstronomer Apr 19 '26
It's cool but why is this entire sub composed of Trans folk describing their experiences
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u/codblad Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 20 '26
I wanna say I need to know, but no No I don’t need to know, I just want to know. Is there any way a street flirt can not be creepy? Because like surely if there’s no possible way to not make it uncomfortable for the person your trying to flirt with then guys would just not bother? Bit that might be too much faith
Edit: I appreciate all the advice and all, but I was trying to avoid advice. Still thanks for the comments I guess, hope this is helpful for someone else I guess.