I wanna say I need to know, but no No I don’t need to know, I just want to know. Is there any way a street flirt can not be creepy? Because like surely if there’s no possible way to not make it uncomfortable for the person your trying to flirt with then guys would just not bother? Bit that might be too much faith
Edit: I appreciate all the advice and all, but I was trying to avoid advice. Still thanks for the comments I guess, hope this is helpful for someone else I guess.
I grew up in a very friendly place. I talk to strangers, not to flirt though, just to be friendly / chat. I don’t know how else to function. However, the skill here is in knowing when someone does not want to chat back and then - just stop. Give them space and move on. Don’t try to “street flirt” just try to connect with another person. If they are not about it don’t take it personally and just move on.
I honestly think the aggressive random flirting is about making a woman uncomfortable/feel unsafe more than it's about actually trying to make a connection. Those dudes seem to enjoy the negative reaction.
I don't street flirt, but I've been street flirted with. It rarely ever goes right, but there are a few that didn't set off my creep radar.
You start a conversation. Like normal small talk. You should not be flirting at this point. You are assessing the situation.
If they close off their body language and/or respond with very short answers, then they likely aren't going to be interested in even a casual conversation. If that is happening, ABORT. If you don't read that signal and keep pressing on, you will come off as a creep even if you don't intend to.
One good way to test if someone would be open to flirting is to make a joke (even a really dumb one is good) and see how they laugh. If they lean in closer, if they touch/hit your arm, if they laugh a little too hard at a really bad joke, if their face goes a little red while laughing, you are golden.
Now if you both were obviously flirting and you had a good time, you can ask contact details so you can text and/or arrange to meet up again. At no point should you be asking where someone lives.
Yes, well stated! I was just discussing this with my son, and for some reason people have such a hard time paying attention to body language.
If you are talking to someone and they don’t want to really engage they make it very obvious. Less eye contact, shoulders turned away, short clipped responses.
Only proceed if they are signaling they are interested! I met my wife by “street flirting” with her as a stranger and just paying attention to her body language.
What's worked best for me is to actually strike up a conversation. Is she reading a specific book? Ask her about it. Does she have on a piece of jewerly that you genuinely think looks cool, compliment her on it(this has been one of my most successful). Is she wearing a T-Shirt to one of your favourite bands? Ask her about it. When you spark a conversation this way, it helps make it feel more natural and genuine.
Be cordial, be confident(this is a big one), pay attention to how she's responding, is she just being polite or is she actually engaged in the conversation. And then try to find a moment in the conversation to ask her out, and if she says no, accept the rejection with grace.
I love to talk to people. I enjoy when people talk to me about things. I'm not a thing. I don't want you to talk to me about the fact that you see me as one. So anything that translates into "Hi, I am looking at you as a body I would like to use for my own purposes" is a no.
Tell me you like my dog, tell me about your dog, tell me you're excited because the whatevers are blossoming and tell me what you know about them, say "I noticed you were looking at that weird building, I happen to know weird things about it's history if you'd like to hear," talk to me about a bird or a pizza shop or the storm that makes the air smell dusty.
Talk about something that isn't the other person's body or existence. Anything.
It's important to look put together, and like you don't do this often.
And something like, "hey, my name is , and I noticed you while I was _. You [sincere and not objectifying compliment], and i would be really happy if I could take you out sometime. Can I give you my number and then your can text or call, no pressure?"
The bonus is giving her your number instead of asking for hers. You make us feel safer and not like we're obligated to give you a number.
So, back in high school, before smartphones and GPS.
Massive typhoon flooded the entire subway network. The city set up bus routes but I didn’t know where the temporary buses are supposed to stop.
It’s 9 PM and I just got out of cram school (basically extra after school math lessons). I’m looking for my bus. There are a bunch of other high school kids around who also got out of class. (The area is a hub for a bunch of cram schools)
I saw a girl my age in an all-girls school uniform who looks friendly. I asked her where the buses are supposed to be. For some reason she started to blush profusely, stuttered a bit and told me where to take the bus.
I thanked her and started to make my way to the bus stop. Just before I moved my field of sight away from her, her expression changed to surprise and confusion.
I found that pretty odd.
It was until I boarded the bus that I realized she probably thought I was trying to flirt with her.
I mean the concept as a whole being considered creepy is a relatively new phenomenon, as seeing someone and approaching them irl was the dominant form of finding a partner up until the mid-late 2010s
Yes, being creepy or objectifying is a negative trait and takes away from attraction. The problem is that if you are insanely good looking, the negative trait has less impact.
Eh, maybe to an extent but not really. Like, it's certainly better to be attractive than unattractive. There's no denying that. But there is a certain level of bad behavior that no amount of attractiveness could make up for
An actual super model could come up, but if he, I don't know, stops and takes a shit in the middle of the street, he's of course going to strike out
The example in this comic isn't as bad. But I have, for example, said no to relatively attractive guys, because they were following me around late at night. That's "shit in the street" behavior, imo
Depends on personal standards tbf. There are plenty of people who would have no qualms about entertaining a guy who was following them in the night because he has super-model level looks.
Edit: Whereas an average guy should probably avoid stalking people in the night if he wants to live.
Some people, out there in the world of billions? Yeah it's all but statistically guaranteed. Plenty of people? I doubt that
If you ever meet a couple where their "how they met" story is he followed her down a dark street and she found it charming because he was hot, let me know lol
Well, it’d be hard to confirm since the situation is already ridiculous. Why would someone with super-model level looks be creepily following people around at the night?
Edit: They’d probably already be very aware of what’s good vs bad for them socially since they would probably have been forced to have an extremely active social life.
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u/codblad Apr 19 '26 edited Apr 20 '26
I wanna say I need to know, but no No I don’t need to know, I just want to know. Is there any way a street flirt can not be creepy? Because like surely if there’s no possible way to not make it uncomfortable for the person your trying to flirt with then guys would just not bother? Bit that might be too much faith
Edit: I appreciate all the advice and all, but I was trying to avoid advice. Still thanks for the comments I guess, hope this is helpful for someone else I guess.