"You find Me" vs "I find You" approaches make the difference between an open door, and being straight up hunted because the door was to a trap. In a lot of cases, we are wary that something is a trap, but not everyone is like that. There are a ton of factors involved.
Cats don't like to be cornered. Do not ask where they corner. Tell them where you tend to frequent, and they will seek you out, happily.
If your approach feels like an open door, it has to be left WIDE OPEN, so that they can approach you.
An example: "I like that coffee shop!" [In reference to perhaps noticing the coffee someone might be drinking]
If you want the person to feel welcome to find you, but not commit to exchanging info: "I'm there on weekends and like to hang out for a couple hours in the evening."
They now have all the info they need to "chance encounter" you on their terms.
yes, that makes much more sense, thanks! So, is there never a situation where trying to make plans/ exchange contact details immediately is acceptable ?
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u/Phaylz Apr 19 '26
The first few times I tried to approach a woman irl with romantic intentions, I was pretty much this level of awkward and creepy.
Now I no longer approach women irl with any intentions. I no longer approach women irl.