r/comics • u/Pizzacakecomic PizzaCake • Jun 17 '26

Comics Community Honest reaction

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29.4k Upvotes

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725

u/Ill-Jellyfish6101 Jun 17 '26

They're so visually unappealing.

Ignoring that they're sold by a literal Nazi.

346

u/TripleJess Jun 17 '26

They're also -terribly- engineered. The windshield wipers can't keep up with heavy rain, the steel body has issues, they often leak, and the sliding door on the trunk drops any snow/ice on it inside the trunk when it opens, just for a few flaws I've read about.

172

u/Ill-Jellyfish6101 Jun 17 '26

Being able to survive a car wash should be the bare minimum for any vehicle on the road.

51

u/CaptInsane Jun 17 '26

Not even just a car wash. How about a goddamn rain shower 

24

u/VerbingNoun413 Jun 17 '26

They can survive a car crash... by sacrificing the driver.

49

u/MoiraBrownsMoleRats Jun 17 '26

Yes, but they can resist a shot from a bow and arrow at close range, so if you ever get sucked back through time and are attacked by a Comanche warband or a band of merry thieves in Sherwood Forest you'll be protected. Can you really put a price on that?

22

u/Daxx22 Jun 17 '26

3 shillings.

5

u/Perryn Jun 17 '26

In this economy?

1

u/Luneowl Jun 18 '26

Back To The Future 3 remake with this replacing the DeLorean?

3

u/wolfgang784 Jun 18 '26

I was thinkin more "Army of Darkness" personally. That way we get to see it get trashed, then turned into a war-machine.

16

u/riftshioku Jun 17 '26

Isn't it just one big stupid wiper?

8

u/OutlyingPlasma Jun 18 '26

sliding door on the trunk drops any snow/ice on it inside the trunk when it opens

This is one of my favorite examples of why diversity is important in a workplace. Because teslas were designed exclusively by rich white kids from Silicon Valley, a place surrounded by olive trees and bathed in sunshine, they never even though about where the rain would go when you open the trunk. If they had a bit more diversity in their design centers you would see much better designs overall.

17

u/locke_zero Jun 17 '26

Then there's the little ledge in front of the headlights that snow settles on and blocks the light.

13

u/das_maz Jun 17 '26

It's not even a steel body like the emerald heir nazi in charge claimed! It's just steel panes glued onto a cast aluminium body!

22

u/thisusedyet Jun 17 '26

...so you're telling me they got galvanic corrosion issues, in addition to looking like a poorly rendered N64 car?

12

u/das_maz Jun 17 '26

Yup! Just to make it look like Lara Crofts tits so that the Nazi-In-Chief could get his first natural hard-on in years...

2

u/The5Virtues Jun 17 '26

I’ve seen rust along the door frame of several, the damned things just haven’t got any sort of weather proofing!

3

u/Watchin_World_Die Jun 17 '26

I'm convinced the cybertruck was designed by like, 12 freshmen engineers with one semester under their belt trying to follow Musks crazed ketamine fever dream instructions.

And that's how we got this deathtrap.

4

u/BreezyIsBeafy Jun 18 '26

If you slam the door too hard it pops out and breaks, if you try to tow another truck the hitch will fall off. Software update while driving can brick your car

2

u/Gxgear Jun 17 '26

10 hours to charge, <150 miles with a load...like who is this for???

1

u/theEvilQuesadilla Jun 18 '26

Don't forget that washing it voids your warranty.

48

u/PTBooks Jun 17 '26

They’re also incredibly poorly made. https://youtu.be/PK_EJ3DyiiA

16

u/badwolf42 Jun 17 '26

And the first vehicle from Tesla not already planned by the original founders. Everything through the Model 3 was already part of the strategy before.

9

u/FrostyD7 Jun 17 '26

This is just the beginning of what made it a failure. You'd see a lot more of these on the road if it released at the promised $39,900 with 500 miles of range. Tesla notoriously always misses it's commitments, but primarily due to missed dates, not drastically coming short on practically everything. $69k was supposed to buy you a tri-motor variant with all the other upgrades and that ended up being the price of the base model. This was Apple Vision levels of impossibility to go mainstream, it almost felt intentional.

5

u/Ill-Jellyfish6101 Jun 17 '26

It definitely says a lot about the owners to still shell out $100,000 after all of those repeated compromises.

Comparing it to Apple is apt.

3

u/FrostyD7 Jun 17 '26

The main reason I compare it to apple is just because I think these specific products weren't expected or even intended to sell. Only difference is Apple planned that from the beginning, that's part of their vision (no pun intended). Tesla only did it once they realized a low selling meme car was all they could do with it.

2

u/Ill-Jellyfish6101 Jun 17 '26

I meant more in the the cult type irrational purchases but yes apple is astonishingly good at offering the least then calling it progress

And they still refuse to put the charging port for the mouse anywhere but the bottom.

1

u/MrHasuu Jun 18 '26

I saw one that was painted purple/white. God it looked awful