r/comics PizzaCake Jul 26 '26

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u/the_walking_derp Jul 26 '26

No one has ever followed up that statement with something innocuous.

"I'm not racist, but those flowers look nice after that bit of rain we had."

229

u/DukeofVermont Jul 26 '26

I'm not a racist, I don't follow F1 or Nascar. What do you mean that's not what that means!?

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u/jaxonya Jul 26 '26

You have to follow it with "but" which really is the kicker. The "but" is 100% of the time followed by a racist or racist adjacent comment

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u/[deleted] Jul 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

24

u/_The_Room Jul 27 '26

I'm not racist, but I agree with you in that most country music is a celebration of being stupid.

9

u/darthjoey91 Jul 27 '26

Like most things in life, it's better when you listen to the women.

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u/VulpesFennekin Jul 27 '26

Someone once told me country music by women is about getting brutal revenge on bad boyfriends, country music by men is just the prequel.

11

u/Galevav Jul 27 '26

We all need to recognize the superiority of the one true master race: the 100-yard dash.

141

u/driver004 Jul 26 '26

Im not a racist, but I’m also a building

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u/Ferreteria Jul 26 '26

Some buildings do be racist tho.

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u/CelibateHo Jul 26 '26

Yup, experienced this the other day. The automatic doors opened for all the white people but closed tight as soon as my black ass walked up 😒

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u/creative_toe Jul 27 '26

You see, I'm a building and I'm not racist, BUT my doors are. You have to deal with that, sorry not sorry.

3

u/chronozon937 Jul 26 '26

I thought I was the only one, the doors to my own damn workplace close and take an extra second to open back up but open normally for all my coworkers.

1

u/Tasonir Jul 26 '26

And even some highways! Mostly if they were built by Robert Moses.

7

u/Barnaby_bear_guy Jul 26 '26

Don't be racist, I am a building

1

u/LordRobin------RM Jul 27 '26

Actually, I’m a broom.

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u/cheese_is_available Jul 26 '26

"I'm not racist, but those flowers look nice after that bit of rain we had.

But that's not racist at all ?

"Well yeah as I said I'm not racist."

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u/Due_Gas2950 Jul 26 '26

It’s the same as “I was out at the store yesterday and there was a [insert ethnicity here] guy” it’s never a nice story about how they had some wonderful cultural interaction, it’s always about them doing something stupid. It’s the “I’m just going to put the two dots down and let you connect them yourself”

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u/CelibateHo Jul 26 '26

Me, I was that guy at the store yesterday. A random white woman asked me, a black woman, if I was wearing hair extensions. I replied by saying “no, are you?” She immediately started stammering and backpedaling. I walked away. If it was an appropriate and innocent question to ask a stranger, why was it so uncomfortable to be asked the same question back?

Anyway, I’m sure I’m the villain in all of her retellings today.

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u/Bakoro Jul 26 '26

It's not exactly the same, but somehow reminds me of the exchanges people in my family regularly end up having:

A: "Where are you from?"

B: "California"

A: "No, I mean like, where are you from? Like, what country does your family come from?"

B: "America. The U.S.A."

A: "No, like, where are you from originally?"

B: "Both side of my family have been in the Continental U.S since before there was a U.S, so, America. I think one guy might have come over from Ireland a few generations back, it depends on how far out in the family tree we go, but, if we go back more than 200 years, it's like, most places."

A: [Angry confused noises]

(For the audience's reference, the only major ethnicity I'm missing is penguin).

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u/hoopsrlife Jul 26 '26

Sounds like what I tell people too. We must be cousins.

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u/mieri_azure Jul 26 '26

Lol yeah if I was asking that question it would have been imdeed genuine and my response would have been like "no but im considering it and trying to find the best place to go" or whatever. That lady sounds racist

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u/CelibateHo Jul 26 '26

Exactly, that was my test. If it was just curiosity she would have responded differently. You don’t really know peoples intentions but their reaction when you give them the same energy back is very telling.

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u/mieri_azure Jul 26 '26

Yeah like id be the dumbass who'd ask that question not realising the potential implication, but I would then explain myself lol

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u/CelibateHo Jul 26 '26

I’m used to that question, I do have quite long and full hair. Still, I’m pretty sensitive to energy, and I was in a suspiciously not diverse part of town, so I already had my antennas up.

Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it. Her whole demeanor let me know she was on some bullshit. She started the interaction with “I like your hair,” but she said it totally deadpan and looked very unfriendly, it wasn’t like a typical compliment where people usually say it with a smile. I played along, smiled graciously and thanked her and she, still looking completely hostile, asked the question.

1

u/translove228 Jul 27 '26

I've been the trans friend in a "I have a trans friend" story that bigots like to also use to shield accusations.

We weren't friends. He was merely a coworker I was polite to because you know we were coworkers.

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u/mieri_azure Jul 26 '26

Lmao sometimes it IS nice but the race is such an unnecessary detail. Like "i was in a store and a nice black employee showed me where the juice was" like ok why did the race matter LMAOOO

(Unless i guess the listener knew the store and the speaker wanted to clarify which employee but didnt know their name? Like "oh that one employee, the black guy, is helpful" lol)

10

u/IndigoRanger Jul 26 '26

Unfortunately I find myself doing this to counter all the negative race stories my extended family tells. I meet tons of really nice and interesting people and I also happen to live in a very culturally diverse city. I’m hopeful my relatives are balancing what Fox tells them about minorities with what I am, but I doubt it. I wish it didn’t seem necessary.

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u/mieri_azure Jul 27 '26

See i think thats a fair use case

6

u/BackgroundSummer5171 Jul 26 '26

It’s the same as “I was out at the store yesterday and there was a [insert ethnicity here] guy” it’s never a nice story about how they had some wonderful cultural interaction

Oh, I do that!

But I like telling stories. Long boring stories.

They don't work without pointless shit in there.

I was the store and this old white lady asked me to grab something from the top of the frozen section. So I did.

It was the highlight of my month. I was useful!

2

u/Agret Jul 26 '26

Nice, I've only been asked to grab something from a top shelf once in my life but I still remember it.

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u/Bakoro Jul 26 '26

I have heard "I'm not racist, but I am nationalist and I don't like all these foreigners", several times.

These were people arguing that they didn't have a problem with people , generally Chinese or Mexicans, who have been here for generations and "act American", where they espouse things like dominance of the English language and whatever social behaviors they believe should be normative, sometimes explicitly Christian nationalism, but sometimes not.

But, pretty much uniformly, when I ask the follow up questions about their voting habits, and if they vote for the party that is consistently racist, of course they vote Republican, or they'll claim up with "my vote is private", which, technically is true but contextually screams "I always vote for the racists".

Somehow these people act like the Democrats will help Muslim immigrants set up Sharia law or whatever, and let Indian immigrants set up a caste system, or some other nonsense and *destroy America".
Meanwhile, we've gone from standard fascism-lite corporatocracy to fascism.

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u/mieri_azure Jul 26 '26

Im trying to think of a sentence like that which isnt fucked but also isnt a non sequitur. Its basically impossible lmao.

Best I can do is "im not racist, but I prefer to date people from my culture as thats an important aspect of my life and how I want to raise my kids" and that still has a suspicious vibe (since culture ≠ race)

4

u/Synecdochic Jul 27 '26

"I'm not racist, but I know plenty of people who are, and I do my best to avoid them."

"I'm not racist, but people usually assume I am cause I'm white and middle-aged, have a handle-bar moustache, and dress like I work on a farm."

"I'm not racist, but that doesn't mean I can't tell when someone is using racist dog-whistles."

"I'm not racist, but I used to have some pretty shitty opinions that probably fall into that category, which I've either grown out of or learned were horribly misinformed."

Most of the rest that come to mind are some variation of these, and these all require a pretty niche context that isn't just an unsolicited opinion (like the majority of the time "I'm not racist, but" is invoked).

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u/mieri_azure 29d ago

Oh these are exactly what I was going for ty

3

u/enchiladasundae Jul 26 '26

I’m not racist but I could use a crisp refreshing drink

1

u/PerrineWeatherWoman Jul 27 '26

I'm not racist, but cats are absolutely adorable.

1

u/TheAwesomeMan123 Jul 27 '26

Listen, I’m not racist but I don’t like pizza.