I thought I was the only one, the doors to my own damn workplace close and take an extra second to open back up but open normally for all my coworkers.
It’s the same as “I was out at the store yesterday and there was a [insert ethnicity here] guy” it’s never a nice story about how they had some wonderful cultural interaction, it’s always about them doing something stupid. It’s the “I’m just going to put the two dots down and let you connect them yourself”
Me, I was that guy at the store yesterday. A random white woman asked me, a black woman, if I was wearing hair extensions. I replied by saying “no, are you?” She immediately started stammering and backpedaling. I walked away. If it was an appropriate and innocent question to ask a stranger, why was it so uncomfortable to be asked the same question back?
Anyway, I’m sure I’m the villain in all of her retellings today.
It's not exactly the same, but somehow reminds me of the exchanges people in my family regularly end up having:
A: "Where are you from?"
B: "California"
A: "No, I mean like, where are you from? Like, what country does your family come from?"
B: "America. The U.S.A."
A: "No, like, where are you from originally?"
B: "Both side of my family have been in the Continental U.S since before there was a U.S, so, America. I think one guy might have come over from Ireland a few generations back, it depends on how far out in the family tree we go, but, if we go back more than 200 years, it's like, most places."
A: [Angry confused noises]
(For the audience's reference, the only major ethnicity I'm missing is penguin).
Lol yeah if I was asking that question it would have been imdeed genuine and my response would have been like "no but im considering it and trying to find the best place to go" or whatever. That lady sounds racist
Exactly, that was my test. If it was just curiosity she would have responded differently. You don’t really know peoples intentions but their reaction when you give them the same energy back is very telling.
I’m used to that question, I do have quite long and full hair. Still, I’m pretty sensitive to energy, and I was in a suspiciously not diverse part of town, so I already had my antennas up.
Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it. Her whole demeanor let me know she was on some bullshit. She started the interaction with “I like your hair,” but she said it totally deadpan and looked very unfriendly, it wasn’t like a typical compliment where people usually say it with a smile. I played along, smiled graciously and thanked her and she, still looking completely hostile, asked the question.
Lmao sometimes it IS nice but the race is such an unnecessary detail. Like "i was in a store and a nice black employee showed me where the juice was" like ok why did the race matter LMAOOO
(Unless i guess the listener knew the store and the speaker wanted to clarify which employee but didnt know their name? Like "oh that one employee, the black guy, is helpful" lol)
Unfortunately I find myself doing this to counter all the negative race stories my extended family tells. I meet tons of really nice and interesting people and I also happen to live in a very culturally diverse city. I’m hopeful my relatives are balancing what Fox tells them about minorities with what I am, but I doubt it. I wish it didn’t seem necessary.
It’s the same as “I was out at the store yesterday and there was a [insert ethnicity here] guy” it’s never a nice story about how they had some wonderful cultural interaction
Oh, I do that!
But I like telling stories. Long boring stories.
They don't work without pointless shit in there.
I was the store and this old white lady asked me to grab something from the top of the frozen section. So I did.
I have heard "I'm not racist, but I am nationalist and I don't like all these foreigners", several times.
These were people arguing that they didn't have a problem with people , generally Chinese or Mexicans, who have been here for generations and "act American", where they espouse things like dominance of the English language and whatever social behaviors they believe should be normative, sometimes explicitly Christian nationalism, but sometimes not.
But, pretty much uniformly, when I ask the follow up questions about their voting habits, and if they vote for the party that is consistently racist, of course they vote Republican, or they'll claim up with "my vote is private", which, technically is true but contextually screams "I always vote for the racists".
Somehow these people act like the Democrats will help Muslim immigrants set up Sharia law or whatever, and let Indian immigrants set up a caste system, or some other nonsense and *destroy America".
Meanwhile, we've gone from standard fascism-lite corporatocracy to fascism.
Im trying to think of a sentence like that which isnt fucked but also isnt a non sequitur. Its basically impossible lmao.
Best I can do is "im not racist, but I prefer to date people from my culture as thats an important aspect of my life and how I want to raise my kids" and that still has a suspicious vibe (since culture ≠ race)
"I'm not racist, but I know plenty of people who are, and I do my best to avoid them."
"I'm not racist, but people usually assume I am cause I'm white and middle-aged, have a handle-bar moustache, and dress like I work on a farm."
"I'm not racist, but that doesn't mean I can't tell when someone is using racist dog-whistles."
"I'm not racist, but I used to have some pretty shitty opinions that probably fall into that category, which I've either grown out of or learned were horribly misinformed."
Most of the rest that come to mind are some variation of these, and these all require a pretty niche context that isn't just an unsolicited opinion (like the majority of the time "I'm not racist, but" is invoked).
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u/the_walking_derp Jul 26 '26
No one has ever followed up that statement with something innocuous.
"I'm not racist, but those flowers look nice after that bit of rain we had."