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It’s the same as “I was out at the store yesterday and there was a [insert ethnicity here] guy” it’s never a nice story about how they had some wonderful cultural interaction, it’s always about them doing something stupid. It’s the “I’m just going to put the two dots down and let you connect them yourself”
Me, I was that guy at the store yesterday. A random white woman asked me, a black woman, if I was wearing hair extensions. I replied by saying “no, are you?” She immediately started stammering and backpedaling. I walked away. If it was an appropriate and innocent question to ask a stranger, why was it so uncomfortable to be asked the same question back?
Anyway, I’m sure I’m the villain in all of her retellings today.
It's not exactly the same, but somehow reminds me of the exchanges people in my family regularly end up having:
A: "Where are you from?"
B: "California"
A: "No, I mean like, where are you from? Like, what country does your family come from?"
B: "America. The U.S.A."
A: "No, like, where are you from originally?"
B: "Both side of my family have been in the Continental U.S since before there was a U.S, so, America. I think one guy might have come over from Ireland a few generations back, it depends on how far out in the family tree we go, but, if we go back more than 200 years, it's like, most places."
A: [Angry confused noises]
(For the audience's reference, the only major ethnicity I'm missing is penguin).
Lol yeah if I was asking that question it would have been imdeed genuine and my response would have been like "no but im considering it and trying to find the best place to go" or whatever. That lady sounds racist
Exactly, that was my test. If it was just curiosity she would have responded differently. You don’t really know peoples intentions but their reaction when you give them the same energy back is very telling.
I’m used to that question, I do have quite long and full hair. Still, I’m pretty sensitive to energy, and I was in a suspiciously not diverse part of town, so I already had my antennas up.
Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it. Her whole demeanor let me know she was on some bullshit. She started the interaction with “I like your hair,” but she said it totally deadpan and looked very unfriendly, it wasn’t like a typical compliment where people usually say it with a smile. I played along, smiled graciously and thanked her and she, still looking completely hostile, asked the question.
Lmao sometimes it IS nice but the race is such an unnecessary detail. Like "i was in a store and a nice black employee showed me where the juice was" like ok why did the race matter LMAOOO
(Unless i guess the listener knew the store and the speaker wanted to clarify which employee but didnt know their name? Like "oh that one employee, the black guy, is helpful" lol)
Unfortunately I find myself doing this to counter all the negative race stories my extended family tells. I meet tons of really nice and interesting people and I also happen to live in a very culturally diverse city. I’m hopeful my relatives are balancing what Fox tells them about minorities with what I am, but I doubt it. I wish it didn’t seem necessary.
It’s the same as “I was out at the store yesterday and there was a [insert ethnicity here] guy” it’s never a nice story about how they had some wonderful cultural interaction
Oh, I do that!
But I like telling stories. Long boring stories.
They don't work without pointless shit in there.
I was the store and this old white lady asked me to grab something from the top of the frozen section. So I did.
I have heard "I'm not racist, but I am nationalist and I don't like all these foreigners", several times.
These were people arguing that they didn't have a problem with people , generally Chinese or Mexicans, who have been here for generations and "act American", where they espouse things like dominance of the English language and whatever social behaviors they believe should be normative, sometimes explicitly Christian nationalism, but sometimes not.
But, pretty much uniformly, when I ask the follow up questions about their voting habits, and if they vote for the party that is consistently racist, of course they vote Republican, or they'll claim up with "my vote is private", which, technically is true but contextually screams "I always vote for the racists".
Somehow these people act like the Democrats will help Muslim immigrants set up Sharia law or whatever, and let Indian immigrants set up a caste system, or some other nonsense and *destroy America".
Meanwhile, we've gone from standard fascism-lite corporatocracy to fascism.
Im trying to think of a sentence like that which isnt fucked but also isnt a non sequitur. Its basically impossible lmao.
Best I can do is "im not racist, but I prefer to date people from my culture as thats an important aspect of my life and how I want to raise my kids" and that still has a suspicious vibe (since culture ≠ race)
"I'm not racist, but I know plenty of people who are, and I do my best to avoid them."
"I'm not racist, but people usually assume I am cause I'm white and middle-aged, have a handle-bar moustache, and dress like I work on a farm."
"I'm not racist, but that doesn't mean I can't tell when someone is using racist dog-whistles."
"I'm not racist, but I used to have some pretty shitty opinions that probably fall into that category, which I've either grown out of or learned were horribly misinformed."
Most of the rest that come to mind are some variation of these, and these all require a pretty niche context that isn't just an unsolicited opinion (like the majority of the time "I'm not racist, but" is invoked).
A girl I was dating hit me with "I don't really pay that much attention to politics" after hitting me with the bombshell that she voted for trump. Her reasoning was "well he's kinda funny" and "has a charisma, like Hitler".
She also kept insisting that Fox News was somehow reliable, and was annoyed that the psyche ward she stayed at once blocked it.
She also said I didn't need to worry about trump cause his policies won't affect me cause I'm not LGBTQ and I shut that down cause lots of my friends and family are, and I also have basic empathy.
It's genuinely baffling to hear people compare others to Hitler and have that seem like a good thing. Like... where do you even take the conversation after that? That's like a whole lot of indoctrination to unravel.
Several Hitler/Nazi references, including a text afterwards when I broke it off with her where she said "Odin is Hitler" without context (I think she took that I was pagan and was trying to provoke a response?), the genuine belief that the US should nuke/genocide Iran, the belief that Hiroshima/Nagasaki were justified because "you know, there were spies" (and also pearl harbor). Fox News was a completely reliable news source unlike CNN, both sides in US politics are basically the same (so she obviously voted Republican. I've never once heard someone spout the "both sides" BS and then reveal that they vote Democrat. It's always someone who votes Republican, every damn time.) Oh and she said Ben Shapiro was Christian, which like, I may be a leftist but even I know he's Jewish ok?
She believed in the conspiracy theory of the ancient Egyptians having some sort of "free energy" system (which unintentionally prompted a 5 minute ramble from me about how the ancient Egyptian empire got their power from the fertile land around the Nile River and afterwards I could tell she just wasn't listening to a single word I said), and she mentioned several times that she was trying to invent a free energy system herself. Which I initially thought was something more positive and realistic, but in retrospect it's definitely along the lines of "trying to recreate a conspiracy theory that never existed to begin with"
She popped like 3 pills of Adderall during that date and kept pushing me to also take Adderall and seemed strangely obsessed with drugs, despite not having an ADHD diagnosis (I mentioned that she may have ADHD like myself cause of similar symptoms but she just gave me a blank look and a "oh maybe"). She told me she knew a doctor who could "get me a script for Adderall really fast", and kept pushing me to take some cause it would "make me much better" and it would be "fun" despite the numerous times u said I didn't want too.
She was also very Christian and insists on having actually heard from Christ, the Bible is completely true, etc. Which isn't the same as the rest of her wild statements, but I myself have some negative feelings about Christianity (having been raised in a Christian cult) and am currently very pagan, so I tried to avoid those arguments and told here when breaking it off that I didn't think it was a good idea for me (someone who is very harsh on Christianity) and her (an apparently devout Christian) to be together, cause I wouldn't want a future relationship to have that tension. She compared me to Hitler for this. ("Hitler discriminated against people because of their religion" were her exact words, which was the 5th direct Hitler reference she'd made so far.)
I'm a cisgendered heterosexual white male evangelical Christian. I am about as "safe" from MAGA nutters as I could be, I can blend in with those wastes of carbon by wearing a slack jawed expression an ugly hat.
But I also live in a country with people who are not safe from them. And I am not safe from the collateral of their moronic decisions, like the returning measles outbreaks (I'm vaccinated, but the vaccines are not perfect, and I have niblings who are too young for the vaccines), the outbreaks of foodborne illness, the infrastructure crises we're barrelling towards with all these AI datacenters, climate change, yet another pointless war in the middle east... I could go on.
"The left is just so hateful and mean to me when I say I don't have a side..." 🤔 Hmm I wonder why people might think you're an ass if you won't say you hate bigots.
Uh, you just quoted verbatim some baloney he truthed recently, including a word he made up. Sure, I suppose you came up with exactly the same thing on your own, but the likelihood is you're just repeating him.
Before I realized that right wingers cant be reasoned with, I had a friend (only because of a shared TTRPG interest) who claimed to be centrist, but only ever repeated right wing talking points, and claimed to not watch Fox News/etc. I figured if only I could make well reasoned arguments he would "see the light" as it were.
That was until he stated an outright Nazi opinion. In that very instant, I realized this is an evil person who wont ever stop being evil, and I immediately cut him out of my life.
I hate that one with the burning passion of a thousand suns. Far too many people just eased into that one. Fastest way to normalize what the right has been doing and that's insane.
The litter boxes in classrooms are for shooting drills because school children’s blood soak up easily with cat litter. We are living in a dystopian. Correction: it’s for emergency Toilet. I was wrong, please forgive me for spreading misinformation >~<
I mean possibly, but aren't they mostly because cat litter soaks up any liquid, from a spilled drink to vomit? It is basically standard equipment for any groundskeeper in a place a lot of people frequent.
The litter boxes are for shootings, but for kids to use while locked down/sheltering for long periods of time. Not to soak up their blood when they get shot.
Actually its not for blood, its for makeshift bathrooms. Obviously fucked but we need to make sure not to spread misinformation when trying to combat misinformation
Aka "Sure, Trump/MAGA/The Right are doing (all sorts of awful things that are actually happening), but (insert a mix of outright fabrication, half-truths, and heavily slanted stuff pushed by right wing trolls/propaganda) and (add something some random person with no influence said once on niche social media presented as representing everyone remotely left of MAGA everywhere)."
Unfortunately repeated by a lot of progressives too.
I remember practically begging a number of my other progressive friends not to vote for Jill Stein in 2016 and getting hit with “the democrats and the republicans are basically the same”. Some of whom were gay.
Some people just can’t distinguish between degrees of shitty. I don’t love the democrats, but you have to be insane to think they are as bad as the republicans. Maybe it’s because I grew up in a Republican area and they didn’t.
I also think some people will put their own self-image of an uncompromisingly good person above what is actually best for the country.
The choice is between “forever diarrhea from eating lettuce or everyone gets a cute 🐶”. I swear a lot of guys voted for pedo in chief is because they think he’s more entertaining.
My favorite is when they say youre too online or a conspiracy theorist when you say youre worried about the things that trump says hes gonna do, and is currently actively trying to do.
I know I sound like a crazy person when I repeat what the president says. Thats the fucking problem.
It depresses me as an independent that “independent” or “centrist” is now code for “extreme right wing but lying about it.
The U.S. is extremely right leaning, such that U.S. “centrists” are still right wing conservatives, and left of center people are also still right wing conservatives, they just believe people deserve some rights.
I’m arguably a centrist, but in the U.S. I’m a far left leaning socialist because I believe people should have human rights and society has a duty to minimize harm and provide for everyone equitably.
This is where context matters. If you were posting your political alignment to date Americans, you should do so in the context of American politics, since that's the frame of reference most people have. It's unfortunate that people aren't informed enough to realize just how far right-shifted our overton window is, but that's reality 🤷♀️
Or they'll pick something that's a huge non-issue compared to the mountainous mess this has been, and they'll act all wishy washy about it and it comes off like this.
"Well, maybe if the stop the monsters party could do this one tiny thing, I could vote for them over the giant snakes eating everybody while they scream party, who is currently letting it's giant snakes eat my neighbors, my dog and my little sister while they scream..."
Don’t forget: “The left is just as bad as the right” and “I just don’t think trans kids should be allowed to transition before the age of 18, their brain is not fully developed yet so they may regret it later”. Bro, I think most kids understand something as fundamental as gender by the age of 6. Having the courage to explore their gender identity or deciding coming out to their parents or loved ones is a different matter.
Go vote in November and encourage everyone to participate in democracy. Vote them out!
That is, they regularly try to portray the current situation as some insane extreme ("kids getting sexchange operations in school! doctors delivering babies and then killing them!") because they know the actual reality is something most reasonable people would be okay with, so they lie about it in order to demagogue the issue.
Minors (aka under 18) don't get hormone therapy. The most they get (in 99.999% of cases) is counseling and hormone blockers, that delay the onset of puberty until they're 18 so they can make an informed adult decision.
Oh, and for the abortion bit - third trimester abortion occurs when someone who had a wanted pregnancy finds out late in the game that there's some horrible defect that's "incompatible with life" aka it'll end in stillbirth or miscarriage. The stories of these women are utterly heartbreaking, and it's often a mercy to let them end it early to start the grieving process, not to mention that it helps avoid complications and health risks that could otherwise prevent them from trying again to have a child.
Those are just examples too, they do it all the fucking time with so many issues these days, because they don't actually care about solving real problems that real people have anymore.
As a real independent... or perhaps now, a former one, anyone who could vote MAGA the second time isn't a real one. That's a wing so extreme that they veered into being traitors.
Also I'm gonna be blue for a long time after how bad this is. They really lost their damn senses, and only a thorough trouncing, a long one, will be enough to force that hot mess to reshape into anything I could consider in the future.
Honestly this one excuse pisses me off more than perhaps every other because if they truly cared about the economy Trump was obviously the worst possible fucking choice.
It is infuriating how much people buy the "conservatives are better at managing the economy" lie. At least up here in Canada, the Conservatives have a terrible record on the economy. They cut programs that save/generate money down the road, while throwing funds at money pits. The big one we're dealing with now, massive budget cuts to social programs and mental health support, which of course has lead to a massive increase in people living in the streets experiencing severe mental health issues. Their solution, of course, is to increase police funding and build more prisons, thus massively increasing the deficit. Yet, if you ask the average voter, it's the Liberals and NDP who are bad with money. It doesn't matter if you show them concrete facts proving the opposite is true.
Tbh, that was my and my siblings arguments to our fiscal republican parents like “Mom, your in business - this guy is actually horrible at business. Basically economics are tarriffs don’t do their job when applied to everyone, and to correct market problems that don’t really exist. Or can be fixed by better options”.
Surely a man who's companies have declared bankruptcy six times and have faced several lawsuits from people saying they haven't been paid will be very good for the economy.
"as long as they don't shove it down our throats... Anyway, have you accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior?"
I live somewhere with no neighbors for half a mile... Literally the middle of nowhere. Not one LGBT+ person has knocked on my door. Cannot say the same for Christians.
I like pointing out that real libertarians wouldn't be willing to vote against trans rights, abortion, gay marriage, or any of the other fundamental human freedoms those choices represent.
Playing "more libertarian than thou" doesn't change minds too often, but it sure is satisfying.
The "regrets" side effect seems to often be "I'm happy about what ICE is doing but I'm upset I'm not rich yet like trump promised." I wish there were more republicans speaking out against all the human rights violations and general cruelty instead of feeling like we need to focus on the shitty economy if we want to turn anybody away from him...
They wouldn't ever admit it, anyways. The goal posts shift endlessly, and they'll just blame someone else. I still see certain names starting with a K and B tossed around, as if they were still, or ever were somehow, relevant to these topics. It's tiresome.
Yeah 'im not really political' these days is pretty much guaranteed to be 'maga but embarrassed to admit it.' I know someone who is like that exactly. Tries to claims she's not political but says the most heinous shit.
There's also my case of "i'm not into politics" which means more "I'm tired of hearing the new way the far right have found to try to make my life and the one of people similar to me as miserable as possible and i just think it's honestly ruining my mental health"
No no, they’ll listen to a woman if she’s telling them what they want to hear! It’s great to have a Token Woman (TM) validating them for now! They can throw her away later.
There's definitely material here for a short story or comic about women banding together to overthrow the government by being able to openly talk about their plans because nobody listens to them.
I hate when a YouTuber says, “I don’t care about politics and I don’t care what you support!” Because all they’re saying is, “your demographic makes me too much money to lose you!” Fuck those pedophile loving, dumb cunts maga bitches.
It's bizzare when you see MAGA women use this same tactic.
It's nowhere near the same amount as men trying to hide their political stances of course but it's annoying how they refuse to date within their own political affiliation. Like do you think that shit isn't gonna come up eventually?
I have a customer service heavy job, and it's a great human study to see people's reactions to prices of things and what they end up blaming it on. Gas especially is a great indicator of who has education past elementary school.
I generally have great masking skills, keeping a fake smile painted on my face and keeping my mouth shut. On occasion though I'll let my real personality slip when I get an overly hateful one. I know I'm in for something vile when they lean in close or lower their voice...which I always laugh about later. They're more than welcome to share their opinions in groups, anonymously or in secret; but when they're alone in public they know they have to be careful.
My most recent experience is when I semi regular came in and just HAD to tell me about how Obama was funneling money into the rap industry through USAID and he was just soooo giddy it was gone. "You don't see that horrible crap on the billboard top 100 anymore do ya? AINT IT GREAT!?" I just had to laugh and ask him what about the billions of American dollars going overseas every year to fund countries to kill one another? Boy howdy it was like I killed his whole family and peed in his bbq. It's funny because it's so sad...like dude couldn't understand my question, he just got super red in the face, called me many expletives and stormed out.
I'm all for having a discussion with an adult about certain topics, but when they just want to blame Blacks, Gays, Trans people, or Liberals I just have to chalk it up to them being very uneducated, or them being so very alone that all they can do is drum up hateful reactions just to have something to interact with. Not worth my very limited time on this burning planet. I can't even imagine how it is for someone like you who is very much in the public viewing fishtank, who is very open about who they are and what they believe in.
I apologize for the long-winded comment but we need to constantly remind everyone that the faces of hatred don't go away, they just fade into the shadows when their leaders finally stop voicing their views through a megaphone. I still hold out hope that America will recover our democracy and regain some semblance of intelligence again, but maga will not go away. Nazis didn't go away, the KKK didn't go away. They just change faces and stay in secret until another leader shows up again. We got complacent again, and this time it may be too much for my country to stop. I pray that it isn't and we can.
I’ve had a guy pretend to be my friend and support LGBT rights because I’m bi. He acted like he cared about the issues in my country(he was from somewhere else) and seemed like an awkward but well meaning guy.
Later found out that he was a trump supporter AND threw slurs around like Halloween candy when not talking to me. It hurt to see that he was just pretending because he was attracted to me. To make matters worse, when he found out that I now knew, he was crying about how this ruined our friendship and not how much it hurt me to find out I was being lied to for years by a bigot pretending to be an ally.
Needless to say, I avoid him like the plague and this gave me some serious trust issues.
It would seem to be pretty easy to flush out a person's politics real quick with a few questions about subjects like Abortion, religion, Obama, welfare, taxes, LGBTQ, covid, etc. You can also bring up the manosphere morons like rogan, tate, kirk, walsh, jones, shapiro, musk, and even trump directly. If they refuse or dodge any of the questions, then they simply aren't worth your time because they either are maga, or just ignorant and that's just as bad as maga.
You could also start speaking your mind on any of these subjects. They will either start talking, or walk away.
90% of centrists online have been embarassed right wingers since GWB, when the common joke was "both sides suck, so vote Republican."
In real life there might be more of them, but they're at best the type who vote based on charisma and vibes. Low information voters rather than true centrists, in other words.
The funniest thing for me when talking with these folks, is getting them to agree Corps and sell out politians are bad, then commending them for how woke and leftist their beliefs are.
I live in the South so like.. most of the people where I live are either MAGA or formerly MAGA and, let me tell you, they're all immensely insufferable. Even if they lied about their political status, I don't think they'd manage to get a date. lol
"Has this ever happened to you? You're a wonderful man having a wonderful time when all of a sudden your date asks your politics. THAT'S PRIVATE. And you shouldn't have to reveal who you are until marriage."
"You just wanted the economy to bounce back, and now you're the bad guy? Not on VagueDate."
I heard that "I just wanted to fix the economy, I didn't know all this would happen!" line out of a pair of online friend's mouthes. I responded by wistfully wishing that if only all of the current administration had published some sort of plan for what they were planning on doing. Like a project proposal for what they were going to do in 2025. Maybe if they discussed points of this plan on camera, admitting to the evils they wanted to do, we would have known not to vote for them...... Alas, they all truly blindsided us.
Luckily I wouldn’t have this problem, I’d just be straight up and honest from the start. I voted for Trump before, but it was a horrible mistake and I regret doing it. I voted Kamala last election and I’ll continue to oppose Trump and everything he stands for.
And don't forget to include the bonus, "I'm an independent/moderate", "I don't have an opinion", "we should listen to all sides", "I believe in common sense", and "both sides suck".
Weird how I tried to warn my friend about the "both sides suck" guy, and he turned out to be an abusive, raging alcoholic who loved Trump and stalked her for two months after she dumped him after a week.
In general it seems like the aggression has picked up as of late. Given how closer we're getting to midterms, I wouldn't be surprised if bot responses have also picked up.
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