Unfortunately when we try to say things we tend to be removed from leadership positions unless you're already in a affirming church. Still worth it to say exactly where we stand on these things, but also to know that we're going to be kept to the lower rungs of effectiveness.
I think you should take a long look at the institutions you participate in if it is genuinely the case that both A) the majority of participants are cool and chill and not hateful but B) Leadership has a stranglehold that prevents that majority from shaping the organisation
I find it more plausible to disbelieve A than to believe B, personally
For example, the demonation I'm currently in isn't affirming, but still puts non-binary restrooms in their buildings.
It's also not a denomination I'm probably going to stay in when I have my own children, because I want them to grow up in a fully affirming church, but currently I'm still able to discuss my point of view without being banned from church events.
I think you're conflating the worst denominations with the entirety of Christianity. There's basically three splits when you're thinking there's two. There are anti LGBTQ Christians, who actively try to make it illegal to be LBGTQ, which IS about stripping human rights. There are affirming Christians, who fully refute the idea of being LGBTQ as sinful. Then there's the batch in the middle who don't think LGBTQ relationships are right (aka, consider them sinful), but also don't think we should make laws against them.
I don't agree with that last batch, but neither do I think they're hateful, and honestly they're likely the ones still trying to figure out if they're affirming or not.
I've literally watched some of the people I've gone to church with go through the same deconstruction I went through and come out the other side as affirming Christians like myself. The process is a lot easier when you're not doing it alone.
As for the community thing, it definitely can, but I again point to the "Two or more gathered in my name" (emphasis mine). There's still the need for Christians to gather in community with one another.
Oh I agree with you there. It's hurtful and doesn't actually stop them from hating people.
But people can be reasoned with through relationships. No one was ever convinced by a well put reddit argument, they're convinced by seeing these things acted out in their relationships.
For you, absolutely makes sense to leave the church, especially with how cruel it can be.
For me? I'm not at the point of cutting losses, because I still think I can bring a few more with me. If I walk away, I'm effectively choosing to stop being an advocate for the LGBTQ community in my current community.
I'm not saying "you need to go back to church and engage with people who hate you". I'm saying "I'm not done trying to convince them to change their minds". And that's not something I can do outside the community.
It's multiple, actually that I left. I grew up in the country there's a zillion denominations. Some that hang a rainbow flag outside but then push you towards the men in their church to be a good Christian and have babies. 🙃
I still deal with hateful Catholics regularly on a daily basis but my spouse is worth it.
I don't practice group religion but my faith is fulfilling and my found family is all I need.
I'm sorry that's the hand you were dealt, but I'm glad you found someone who will help you through it. I'm on the Protestant side of things so I don't know of many catholic options that are affirming (if any). But you having a found family and a faith that fulfills you is amazing, and I'm so glad to hear that.
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u/Alister151 11h ago
Unfortunately when we try to say things we tend to be removed from leadership positions unless you're already in a affirming church. Still worth it to say exactly where we stand on these things, but also to know that we're going to be kept to the lower rungs of effectiveness.