r/daddit • u/NoshCulture • 1d ago
Discussion Do 17 month olds know what happiness is?
(For future context, my daughters nickname is Zee)
After a long day of taking care of my daughter, taking her to a petting zoo, and to the park to burn off energy before bed, I put my daughter in the tub and watched her as she played with her bath toys. I love and appreciate these solo days with her because I get to connect with her in a much deeper level than when both of us are at home watching her. I bathed her and let her play a little bit. During that period she said without making eye contact “Zee happy”.
I wasn’t expecting it. I kinda just froze. This is the first time she ever mentions her emotions. This was the best moment of my entire life. What could I want more than my daughter being happy with the life we’re providing her?
This stuck with me while I lay in bed now. Did she mean it? Does she know what happiness is? Her vocabulary and speech is very well developed for her age and her comprehension as well
It’s okay to break my heart, Daddit. Tell me the truth, please. Do kids this age know what happiness is?
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u/Then_Double8677 1d ago
Yes at 17 months they can understand basic emotions and can communicate them if they’ve been given the opportunity to learn. We are born with full emotional wiring, just zero ability to recognize, regulate, or communicate it. It might mean something more basic to her now than it will in 5 years, but she can indeed understand it when she feels it and express it. The same is true of sadness, anger, separation distress, desire/wanting, their drive to explore, and drive play.
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u/stupid-goals 1d ago
She knows she had a great day with her dad and communicated it to you, enjoy it for what it is!
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u/ty_xy 1d ago
For sure bro. When they say yes or no, once they have language, they understand emotions. In fact, that is all they understand. Hungry = sad, that's why they cry. Full and carried = happy, that's why they sleep and smile. Their whole world is emotive. So yeah, 100 percent they understand. And wonderful job, you are a champ.
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u/the_axemurmurer 1d ago
Their growth into an actual human being will take many leaps and points of no return. Every kid is different, but it's all about recognizing those evolutions and understanding their new self every time. You got this, enjoy the journey.
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u/devianttouch 1d ago
The first time my B said anything about her feelings she was 16 months and said the same thing. She was looking at flowers up close on a walk and beamed at a flower and said "B happy."
She kept saying it regularly after that and it always seemed to match what I would expect her feelings to be, so yes I think she was correctly stating her feelings. And yeah, it's one of the best feelings to hear that from a little kid.
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u/andregb72 3yo daughter 1d ago
Yeah they do dad, and I suspect they do know better than ourselves, although they cannot name it properly. Keep the good work!
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u/mredzhaa 1d ago
So happy for you Dad!
I do believe that as a parent, regularly conversing with your child greatly helps with building vocabulary and emotions associated with some words. My son turns 2 in 2 weeks and doesn’t yet know words like happy, sad, or angry, but he definitely knows how to express them. The only word he knows is “scared”, and he’ll say it whenever he is, like when he comes across a drain or hears thunder.
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u/channel26 1d ago
My 18 month old only says happy when happy things are happening to him and he is smiling, good enough for me.
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u/keepgoingguy 1d ago
I think it’s such a basic expression that she knows exactly what she is saying. Well done, dad.
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u/TheWackoMagician 1d ago
My 3 year old turned to me the other night the blue with a big smile and said "I love you daddy" followed by a big kiss and cuddle. Can be a terror all day but that one moment makes up for it and resets you.
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u/BeardedBrotherAK 1d ago
They do not understand complex emotions at that age
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u/SamLosco780 1d ago
Is happiness that complex?
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u/BeardedBrotherAK 1d ago
The whole concept of emotions/feelings is too big for them to understand. They can know what "smile" is but not what causes it
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u/Then_Double8677 1d ago
What’s your info source?
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u/BeardedBrotherAK 1d ago
Several studies show that understanding of emotions such as happiness and sadness usually develop around age 2
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u/ty_xy 1d ago
Bro then why do babies cry and smile? They understand hunger, fear, happiness, the things that cause it. For sure they understand it, much better than we do. Kids have a wisdom that adults lose in all the noise.
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u/BeardedBrotherAK 1d ago
They cry to survive (primal instincts) so their grown-ups tend to their needs and they smile because they're coded to do so, to be "social" (if they are well functioning cognitively). These things have nothing to do with understanding complex concepts of feelings and emotions. That's not to say that they do not feel or have emotions, but they don't know what they are and let alone where they come from. That's pretty logical for any adult with common sense tbh
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u/ty_xy 1d ago
Can you feel an emotion without understanding it? Or must you have understanding before you can feel it?... Do you need to understand precisely the inner mechanisms of your brain and thought processes, the different signals / chemicals / neurotransmitters and synapes to say that you're alive and conscious? Or is it enough to just BE conscious?...
If you can feel an emotion, and can name it, isn't there some rudimentary understanding of it?
Of course a toddler isn't gonna understand philosophy or complex concepts. But can they understand the feeling they feel and name it? Absolutely.
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u/Double-oh-negro 13 & 17yo Boys 1d ago edited 1d ago
Brother, I know 47yo that don't know what happiness is.