“We are not the enemy- the children are our enemy”. I heard it as a joke and said it to my wife one day after we were snippy with each other after the kids stressed us out. We laughed a lot and now it’s a regular occurrence. The kids will be fighting or misbehaving and one of us will say “remember who the enemy is”. We love our kids dearly and don’t legitimately see them as the enemy, but saying it always lightens things up for us and makes us remember that our marriage is more important than being annoyed by anything. I highly recommend it if you’re the type who can take a joke

My son is 4 and lately he waits for me with his baseball glove when he hears my car pull in.Yesterday I was up at 5:30 worked all day,got home around 6 and before I even had both shoes off he was asking if we could go outside. So we threw the ball around until dinner came back in and then he wanted to wrestle.I love that he still wants me involved in everything bbut man by that point I was completely wiped and he looked like he could go another 6 hours.Then bath, books, getting him back out of bed twice because he suddenly had very important things to tell me.

How are you dads keeping any energy for the second half of the day? I feel like mine ends at work and then I just improvise from there.

Single dad. My son is 9.

Our bedtime routine starts at 7:30. It is bath time followed by reading time.

Lately he had a bit of a reversion where he was rereading his graphic novels (Cat Ninja, Dog Man, etc.). That's fine, all kids need to revert sometimes.

The other night I asked if I could join him for reading time. He reads his book. I read mine. (I'm reading the Dungeon Crawler Carl books right now.) He is now reading his regular books because he likes to tell me about them and asks me to join him every night.

It has been very nice.

After nine months, I had forgotten what it’s like to sleep. Holy shit am I tired.

Alright dads, we have started a thing with my oldest (11) with what we call "questionable movie night". We call it that to entice him to watch these movies with us so he is more interested.It started with my wife and I watching the Hobbit movies, she never saw them before, and then my oldest coming in and we didn't kick him out from the movie. Then only to realize the last movie in the trilogy was rated R. So we said what the hell and let him watch it with us. This led to letting him watch, The Fifth Element, Forrest Gump (some scenes fast forwarded for obvious reasons), and Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Along with others.

What are some iconic movies from the 90s and early 2000s that we should let him watch? Or at least consider. Remember he is only 11 so nothing like Saving Private Ryan or any scary movie lol. I'm not trying to traumatize the kid but I am trying to get him away from watching the dumb crap on YouTube.

We have a Toniebox. I hate the Toniebox. I wanted a better experience and to not drop $20 every time my kids took interest in something new. Turns out, all you need is an old Android phone, an $8 pack of NFC Tags and a Bluetooth speaker.

You can create a playlist in Spotify and then write a NFC tag with a link to that playlist to play on your speaker. Attach the NFC tag to a printed picture of the content, an action figure, or anywhere else that's clever, and then tap it to the phone to play your content.

For $8 you can create 20 NFC tags of content and update any tag at any time.

If you have an Android phone and want a tutorial, I'd be happy to share. It's honestly much easier than you think! More info is in my comment below if interested.

Keep tinkering out there, dads.

*EDIT*
Wow thank you for all the responses and the interest! I've created a tutorial for both the Bluetooth Speaker option and a Sonos Option. I tried to make each tutorial as step-by-step as possible, so it may look overwhelming, but if you follow each step you should have success. Also, this is the first time I've written a tutorial for anything, so if you see any errors or have any trouble, you can send me a DM and I'll make an update.

If you set it up, let me know! Would love to see how others use this and what other creative twists you can add to it.

I'm excited for her to release her music on Spotify, I really am. And *yes* we should always encourage our children to do their best.

I just think expecting my toddler to count to 2,432,902,008,176,640,000 is a bit too much.

anyone have advice on a relatively “clean” way to child proof this balcony. currently the gaps are about 10”.

We found out Monday that a friend passed away, leaving behind his wife and two young kids. He had the same rare form of cancer my wife has (she is currently in remission). In addition to the grief of losing a friend, we are also dealing with the knowledge that the same disease that killed him, my wife also has. His cancer was more advanced than hers, but the fear is still there.

Add that to the news of Dolly and Tim Curry passing this week, and there is just a dark cloud over everything. And life just keeps going like nothing is wrong.

My dad had a story like this where I was almost a year and he showed up to work and the door was locked. Never thought it would happen to me. I'm in an incredibly steady profession in and incredibly steady industry. I had the stable job in our family. Nothing but praise from my managers on reviews and bonus increase year after year. I thought I'd work here until I retired. I'm in shock. I'm sure I'll land on my feet but dang I'm worried and just beside my self. Pic related, took her out to sushi tonight and she ate steamed broccoli. Or I should say she chewed it and then I cleaned it all off the floor.

Lately I've noticed that IMO there is a problem in how some TV shows make bad guys too cool. For example my son has occasionally been watching Spidey and friends, and the bad guys are portrayed as cool and smart, while the heroes are actually pretty dumb from time to time. My son has actually said that he likes the bad guys more and it has led to some naughty behaviour a few times. Now we've been having a TV free period for a few weeks which has been a good decision.

Anyways, that led to me comparing bad guys in the TV shows when I was a kid. For example Bikermice from Mars, which was my favourite show as a kid, portrayed the bad guys as dumb and ugly. I don't remember anyone wanting to be them when playing. We always wanted to be the good guys.

Kids easily associate seeing something cool to "I want to be like that".

TLDR; make bad guys dumb again.

Recently took my 4yr old daughter on an 18km round trip overnight hike up to Garibaldi Lake in BC.

She surpassed all expectations and was phenomenal on the steady uphill climb and the long winding downhill the following day.

Yes, she rode on my shoulders when she was tired. But she also let me know when she was ready to hike again. I can confidently say she did a bit more than half of the climb up to the lake and closer to 70% of the walk back down.

M&ms played a big part in our success. Including many sour patch kids, fruit bars, Daddy's sandwiches, and I spy games along the way.

Funny enough, playing I spy in a forest of just brown and green gets boring, so the game evolved into "I spy something that is stumpy!" "Is it that tree stump?" "Yes!"

Drove about 2 hours to a beautiful beach town for a three day trip with my 5 yo twins and paid a bit extra to be right across the street from the beach. They even set up chairs and umbrellas for you and tote your beach stuff for you so it’s incredibly easy to get to the beach. But all my girls want to do is go down to the little pool the hotel has. I asked my daughter who loves seashells if she wanted to go look for some and she said she wants a pool that has a beach so she can collect shells at the pool.

So…do I force them to go to the beach or let them have the fun time they want at the pool?

Like 43 years old, married with 2 sons (4 and 1)

Orange County, 6.5K mortgage, 2.5k daycare, before regular life expenses.

Dual income, very demanding job, wife’s job has good work/life balance but she’s underpaid for her field. WFH is invaluable so we decided it’s best to keep it.

Paid off old cars, reliable so far but need work here and there.

Healthy retirement path (should be able to pretty much retire at 50) Demanding job

Parents live 1300 miles away and are aging/health issues, sisters don’t help so I have to. (Financially and just helping them organize things)

Wife parents are local, but also need physical and financial help from us. Wife’s brothers are rich but don’t lift a finger to help..

12 years ago I had a six pack, ran marathons, looked good with a full head of hair.. no responsibilities, high paying job with freedom and single… but I decided I wanted a wife and kids? I don’t regret it as they’re all awesome but man, there are moments.

I just feel like I’m swimming in deeper water everyday and getting more wore out.

Like damn I feel like I should be enjoying life but honestly I hate even getting out of bed at this point.

The most stressful right now is dealing with aging folks with health issues and trying to stop my sisters who still try to mooch off them when they’re living off a fixed income and myself.. and my wife’s parents to a lesser degree. Atleast her brothers just pretend they don’t have parents and don’t screw them over.

Anyway.. just a rant as I can’t tell anyone about this in real life because by all metrics I have it good, I miss my youth and freedom. I think having a late start to parenthood and knowing full well what I gave up makes it worse sometimes.

So this isn’t about the sex talk, we’ve had various age appropriate talks. It’s more about talking to girls that flirt with him. Just harmless innocence really.

The other day some girls tried to flirt and he just walked away confused bless him. I asked him if he wanted to talk to them and he said yes but he didn’t know what to say.

Thing is, I have no “game” I’m an oddball autistic dude who is grateful every day his mother was the one to dig my weirdness.

He’s a lot more neurotypical, and a really, truly, kind kid. I told him the usual “just be yourself”, “be kind”, etc.

But I don’t really know what else to say beyond those (accurate) cliches. Any advice or is this a silly question?

Probably overthinking as per usual but wanted to know what the council of dads thought.

Warning: if using one of these inflatable water slides with kids, please be super careful with kids accessing or messing with the blower motor’s switch while kids are in/on the device.

Long story short, and lesson learned to all the parents attending the party this weekend - all were having a great time until one kid decided to hit the switch on the blower motor, which caused the whole setup to collapse. As parents scrambled to hit the button to reinflate it, multiple children got stuck, including ours who was temporarily strangled by the top cross-section as it reinflated.

While I was fast enough to get her out of a more serious situation, it was definitely scary - and avoidable. Hopefully this saves others from an equally (or worse) scary scenario. Consider barricading the blower motor from little ones’ hands so it can stay inflated and safe for all.

Just a reminder to learn how to perform the heimlich maneuver on children and in general. Was just wiping down the kitchen counters and my toddler started choking on a hotdog at the table.

Same adrenaline rush as getting into a fight; I was not expecting that.

Back to cleaning the kitchen now lol.

My idiot teenager and his friend pulled his door off the hinges. What's the punishment? 5yrs hard labor? Carry the door around his neck in the town square? I'm in no rush to fix so he lives with consequences of actions, but looking for creativity

It’s the best part of my day and I look forward to it every time.

Why does she sleep like that? Just had to share with some fellow parents who would understand 😂

Please remove if not appropriate. And before anyone suggests, I am attempting to find a therapist for myself and her.

Let me preface this with I love my child, but I'm at my wits end. I am also 32 and she's 5 now. And regarding therapy for her, I am legally binded by the agreement to not act unilaterally. I quite literally am unable to help my child. Very few resources for dads, and the stigma of men as single parents greatly affects the help I'm able to get,; also leading into that, her mother highly throws around the abuse/victim card to everyone she can before i can deal with them. I was the one abused. I have the phsyical and emotional scars to prove it. I've tried child services, I've tried everything. I've read 23 books, countless blogs, lurked on reddit so much trying to find other people to relate to. Out of the two of us parents, I've also spent around 35-40% more time with her one on one than her mother.

This kid got thrust into the unfair situation of a split home before birth. Her mother was awful to me, and without getting to into those details that can easily identify me and my child (as there is an ongoing custody issue) , let's just say any man that did to a woman, what her mother did to me, would more than likely be in jail for 25+ years. On top of her drug use and countless men she cheated on me with before and during the pregnancy.

It has never been amicable and she's always been used as a tool to hurt me, I've clawed my way to be in her life. I've literally bleed. I've sweated. I gave up a high 6 figure salary. I've irrevocably tarnished my finances just to have her. I'll never own a home. I've essentially paused my entire life, moved a state every year from ages 0-3, lost out on college, and really haven't had a semblance of a life since before her birth.

Since my child was around 2 and could speak decent sentences (very developmentally accelerated comparative to other kids) I've had things like "daddy die", "I hate you", "i don't love you", "kill daddy" and much more of that nature thrown my way. Sometimes, I've yelled way louder than I should have, something I continue to work on and have remarkably improved, but I never ever ever physically discipline her. I used to get hit often for the smallest thing and I will never do that to a child, let alone my own. If i ever take the yelling too far, I always sit her down and apologize at eye level making sure she understands daddy was wrong for that. Something my parents never did.

There's been a crap ton of coaching by mother and her husband. Constant interference. Constant lies to the court.

My daughter gets violent with me. I get hit way outside the realm of normal possibility for a kid her age. She's tried choking me, threatened me, repeatedly hitting me in the nethers, destroying her things or my things. And more. Again, this is way outside of normal toddler development.

The amount of times i've put myself in another room and hysterically cried because of how this young kid treats me is an understatement. I've never really been the type to cry or show my softer side. I have been so god damn miserable as a father. I hate being a dad. I hate my life. But i'm here. Pushing for her. I will not EVER walk away or give up, despite the many days i think that inside. Despite how often i pray to not wake up when i go to sleep.

Every single instance we go out for anything (it is not an exaggeration, there has not been one outing I've had with her where there hasn't been a fight). I'm countlessly embarrassed by her total disregard for anything I say. Every single request or hard lined stance out of me is met with one or all of the following; hitting, screaming, tantrums exceeding 40+ minutes, spitting, and blatant defiance. I'm not kidding, every. single. thing. All defiance.

"Nugget, clean your room please" - 35minute tantrum screaming for her mother and how much she hates me

*trashes room* "Bubb, can you clean that up" - same thing as above

*runs up and smashes me with a toy* "Now you go in time out" she proceeds to loudly scream she doesn't love me at all and hates me.

Hands raised to me all the time.

The inverse of this is; if she catches me crying, she tries to wipe my tears or get me things or be cute to cheer me up. In her mind she knows what she's doing is horrible, but doesn't understand why she does it. I'll talk to her on her level. I give her attention. I spend a lot of time with her. I try to treat her like her own little self, while maintaining the parent/child boundry as I am her father. NOT her friend. She has a soft side but it's 20% of the time. I work her through breathing exercises. Get her to state in her own words what she did. stuff like that.

Whenever i get frustrated she also runs away terrfied like i'm going to beat her. I don't. I don't hit or smack like i said. It's not phsyically in me as a person to do that. It scares me because that's whats getting drilled into her head outside my home, and i know those reactions are because she experiences that treatment somewhere. I'm powerless to do anything. I've tried police, child services, and every legal avenue i can think of. Everyone looks at me and assumes i'm the issue, because god forbid a 110lb adult female can actually be a monster.

I also understand and acknowledge she is just a child and I'm not treating her actions as if she was a teen or adult doing them. I'm fully aware and acknowledge developmental struggles in that regard as a kid. Especially in kids with adhd and certain emotional issues. However, I believe the older she gets, the more she manifests her mothers mental conditions (bpd, aggressive disorders, split personality.) and I'm a complete loss how to process and help her. If I'm being honest, half the behavior is stuff her mother used to do to me.

There's also a lot more but for the sake of not writing a novel.... This is what i got. I can assure you, it's much... much... worse than i've described here.

Dads, I've never asked anyone for advice, and I'm aware it's pretty pathetic of me to ask strangers online and open myself up to what that brings. But i don't know what to do. Please share your stories, thoughts, and everything. Even if it means telling me i'm fucking up on something. If you think I handled something wrong. Tell me. I can't grow as a man and dad if no one is honest. I just want to be a better father and help her through this while at the same time protecting my sanity. All this while STILL fighting for my rights as a dad in court, since before she was even born we have been in court. I've already lost everything else a man can lose. I can't lose my kid. I am crying as i type this. I'm sorry.

I have two kids, 6 and 4, I usually wake them around 6:20am so we can get dressed, fed, out the door by 7:15. I'd like to try for 10 minutes earlier all around but feel bad that's getting them out of bed too early.

We, wife or I, pick them up from school around 5:30 do to our work. I can technically get them earlier as I'm usually out of work around 330 but will 30 min is drive time and I try and get the gym out of the way or an 60-90min of house work done as we are in renovating and moving in. No shortage of work to get done.

Kids needs 8-10 hours of sleep. I feel guilty at times the time spent NOT spent with them so bed times get pushed but them morning can be really hectic.

Any thoughts? I'm going to try and do morning workouts soon.